My daughter was best friends with a girl for 2 years. Right before Christmas, they started having problems and they are no longer friends. This was my daughters first real friend, so it's been kind of difficult.
Anyway, they are in class together. Tonight my daughter told me the girl rolls her eyes, crosses her hands, and makes facial expressions when she answers something wrong. I'm so tiredof the petty stuff. I told her the next time she does it...she should loudly say "is there something wrong with your eyes?". Good or bad advice?? Also, I thought about contacting the teacher to see if this something that is on going? Is it a bad or good idea to ask the teacher to watch to see if this happening?

They are in 7 th grade and I know this small compared to alot of other things.

Thanks for any advice.

Being a 7th grade teacher, I'm sorry you have that to deal with, but I have more important things to do in my class then to watch to see if a girl is rolling her eyes. If I were to catch it I would say something but, its called bullying, nothing you can do, but separate the two. I don't mean to sound crass or anything else, but ........ they are girls , they get along one day and not the next. Have your daughter find other girls to hang with. What I have noticed the past few years is Girls are mean, they hold grudges and never forget!........... Boys, fight, and get over it. Being a Mother you will have a few of these girl on girl attitudes . You will just need to tell your daughter to pick her battles. Good Luck.

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I wouldn't have my daughter do that because I think it would just infuriate (sp?) the exfriend even more. Just have your daughter ignore it and she will come off as the classier of the two. Again, this is 7th grade, it just gets worse thru high school, so she doesn't want to have enemies start lining up. A good lesson to learn young.

Thanks for your opinion. I guess I was thinking about the teacher because she asked my daughter about why they weren't friend anymore when everything started.

I totally agree on picking your battles...I do think this is one battle she should fight. The ex friend makes fun of people, talks about people and thinks she is better that everyone, so I do think my daughter should put her in her place. Everyone is afraid of her, so they allow her to do it.

Yes, my daughter has tons of friends..she is one who gets along with everyone(almost). She is very well liked.... She doesn't have a close friend but tons of friends. She has never been one to have a close friend until this girls came along. Her teachers have always commented how she gets along with everyone. She is all around nice girl. It's a shame she has to put up with this.


I'm thinking the ex friend was getting very jealous of her and that is why they are no longer friends. I told her this life lesson 101.

Thanks, I'm not worring about her making enemies. I did tell her if she thinks this bad....wait for high school.

Middle school girls are the meanest creatures on the face of the earth. Ok maybe that is a bit overboard but man can they ever hold a grudge.

My DD is going through something similar and she is starting to figure out the person who she thought was her friend is definitely not her friend.

Tell her to ignore the girl as much as possible because if she says or does anything the girl will come out smelling like roses and your daughter will be known as the "cause" of everything.

Bad advice--the more the other girl knows it bothers your daughter, the more she will do it.
Facial expressions, eye rolling, etc. is not necessarily bullying. Just typical pre-teen dramatics.

And while I know your first instinct as a mother is protect your DD--I think you need to back out of this unless it gets much worse.

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I totally agree. Stay out of it. This is only the beginning of this type of stuff with your daughter. If facial expressions and eye rolling are considered bullying by some, then I guess all kids 'bully' their parents all the time!!! LOL!!

The other girl is obviously trying to intimidate and annoy your daughter. I think the question is whether the objective is to ease the tension or put the other girl in her place.... and the consequences for each must be considered.

If the plan is to try to ease the tension, your daughter is more likely to come out of the situation comfortably. If she can manage to be kind and friendly but not so pushy that it seems like she's trying to hard, I have to think the girl will lose interest in trying to make her feel intimidated and annoyed. I'm not talking about being friends again - just getting to a place where they aren't enemies. Easy? Not in 7th grade!

If the plan is to try to one-up her, I don't think that's really possible. It becomes a game neither of them can ever win, and ultimately makes your daughter as guilty as the other girl. Right now, it's a one-sided bad attitude. If your daughter starts to exhibit a bad attitude, as well, they both look bad.

Well, I will agree that middle school girls are the meanest they will ever be, as a general rule. The middle school I work at is a 6-8th grade school. And the girls are mean, catty, bullying, and just plain nasty. As was stated before, the boys are too....but the difference is that the DO usually physically work it out and it is over. Girls pick and pick and pick and let it fester and it gets worse!.

I have a son and daughter in high school, and, here at least, things get better once kids hit high school. Kids are freer and so are much more accepting. They do not only have to "fit" into the one acceptable mold that is middle school.

As for your situation,IF the teacher has already expressed an inquiry into the relationship between the two girls, then I would not feel bad about having your DAUGHTER talk to this teacher about it...but not you. You CAN and should step in if it gets to a point beyond eye-rolling and face-making into something threatening and physical. Otherwise this girl (who is one of those mean girl/queen bees we have all come to know about)will only step up the situation and your daughter will have a harder row to hoe. Just empower your daughter to try and handle this on her own....she will feel better about it, I think.

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theres a kid that walks the same way home as my son, he taunts my son and tries to get into his backpack and stuff. I told my son that I'm not butting in unless it got something worse. I do sometimes not tell my son i'll be out when he comes home and i check to see how things are going when he walks home but that's not very often

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Hugs to your dd. It is , unfortunately, plain stupid middle school crazy girl stuff. I am sorry she has to deal with it. I suggest she makes new friends, go join a club...distance herself from the girl, etc.

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oh the joys of girls! I have a boy and a girl and the poster who said that girls holds grudges and boys fight and then are best friends again is speaking the truth. My dd is in 9th grade and another thing I have notice is if a girl goes out with a boy, and then they break up. The girl thinks that she owns the boy the rest of her life...lol. There is so much more drama out there then when we went to school.

steph

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Thanks everyone. Everyone has given great advice. I do think I will let her handle it.

She is very involved at school and she gets asked by the teachers to participate in alot of activities. She is so well liked by everyone except this one girl. I really do think jealousy is a factor here. I know when they were friends.. the friends parents was always saying how they wish "their daughter" would be more like my daughter. My daughter is very grounded.

Unfortuanately they cannot distance themselves....they are in the same clubs, soccer teams and classes.

I hate all of the middle school drama. I'm such a non tolerant(sp?) person when it comes to these things.

Thanks again!