My BF's brother (the one with the 4 kids I talked about before)called us last night and said he wants to know if their other 2 brothers are going to be available Sat if my BF can go with the 3 of them to the home of one of his DD's friends to confront the girl's father. It seems the 11 year old was at a friends house being herself (bossy and thinking she knows it all) and this father over heard her telling his daughter about buying thongs at Victoria Secret and wearing heels as well as other stuff 11 year olds should not be talking about. (My BF's necies mother encourages this for her DDs who are 11 and 9) and this other father asked her to leave and told his daughter that if Sara (not her real name) wants to act and dress like a slut that is for her parents to deal with but he raised his DD different and doesn't want her at his home any more. So I can see the other father saying no you can't play with so and so she is a bad influence. but I dont see why "saras" dad would want to confront this man. I told my BF if we are going to confront every person who says anything wrong about our kids we should just follow my DD around because people are constantly calling her a freak. But she is my freak and we love her My BF said no and told him let it go, Sara shouldn't have been listening on the conversation between her friend and her father. I told his brother that while we all hope everyone is gonna like our kids, there are always going to be parents who for one reason or another dont like our kids and we can't make these people like our kids. I told him I know my kids are well behaved when they are at friends homes but my DD has a friend whose parents think my child is a bit odd and they don't want her around their daughter. my child knows not everyone has parents like me and her father so she just talks to this friend at school. I never thought of confronting them and asking them why they think my daughter is odd or a freak. so what do you think? Is it normal to confront someone because they said something negative about your child? If this man came right out and called "sara" a slut to her face then yes I would probably confront him, but knowing sara, there is alot more than what she told her father

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I don't see the need or point in confronting the father. We all have rules/guidelines for our children and the right to decide who they can or can't hang around. My 9 YO had(past tense)a friend, also 9, who always talked about going on dates with different boys. I thought she was joking, just a little boy crazy. I was eating lunch with them at school one day and she again talked about who she had been on a date with. I said "oh, you're kidding, you haven't been on a real date, you're too young". She insisted she had been to such and such place with so and so and her parents had taken them and dropped them off. The more I listened to her talk, the more I knew my dd would no longer hang around her. I think it's normal for girls that age to like boys, talk about them being cute or whatever but going on dates?? There's been more with her but suffice it to say, my dd isn't allowed to hang out with her. I feel the father you mentioned is just exercising his right to protect his own child, feeling maybe the influence Sara would have on his child would not be good.

Sounds like they are drama kings. why would they want to confront the man. Its his house to do as he sees fit and I can see why he asked the girl to leave. This type of stuff is not for 11 yr olds.

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I totally agree with littlejo

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Nutella,....
proving some of the best things in life come in a jar.

Sounds like you need to call in Jerry Springer....

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I thought of that but I also keep telling my BF and his one brother that I am going to call super nanny for their brother and his kids

__________________
~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

To me this does not seem like he wants to "confront" him. He is getting a posse to either beat him down or threaten him. If you have a problem with something someone said TO one of your children why do you need to get people together to "confront" them? If this man said it to his own dd .. he has the right to decide who he wants his own dd to be around. He shouldn't of called her a slut where your niece could hear him. That was poor judgement on his part.
This just needs to be ignored and let your niece find another friend.

I think the scariest part of this is that the father of "Sara" not only wants to confront the other dad but bring 3 other men with him. What does he plan to do to this guy? If he wanted to talk to him one on one is one thing, but it looks like he wants a war. I think you are the one that is right about this situation.

I have no idea why you would go over to someones house to confront them, unless you are looking for a brawl. However, if girls dad called the niece a slut in front of her, I might make a phone call and tell them of my disappointment, of calling my child names in front of them. But to go over there and confront him would be WAY over the top.

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Chicago Bears!!!!
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Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start no trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

we had a similar situation: 9 y/o was over at neighbor's house playing video games w/ their kids. One of them "died" on the game and our DS said "that sucks!". OMG! The kid's mom sent my children home saying they were cussing and if we weren't such bad parents we would know what they were saying, and we obviously didn't care about our children's immortal souls (are you sensing she was a bit religious???).

I simply told my boys that every family has their set of rules, and their own ideas of right and wrong. I told them just because different families had different rules, it didn't make one family right or wrong. It just made every family different. I told the boys that if they wanted to play with the neighbors at their house then they would have to abide by their rules--by the same token if the boys wanted to play at our house (which of course, the neighbor kids weren't allowed to--I mean we let the kids watch certain cartoons! Horrible awful parents we are!) then they would have to abide by our rules. Long story short? Those neighbors moved a couple of weeks ago and I was exceedingly happy! LOL

Confronting another parent over what the OP describes is stupid...and will more likely than not end very badly!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Your BF's brother is a wimp (in addition to all his other character flaws that you've posted about in the past). He needs three other men to back him up because he's not man enough to handle one man on his own. That's pathetic. He shouldn't be trying to cause trouble, anyway. The child's father is entitled to say whatever he wants inside of his own home. If BF's brother doesn't like his views, he shouldn't associate with him, end of story. It's never OK to go to someone's home with a posse to confront them about anything.

No kidding. Personally, I wouldn't keep telling people if my family members were this trashy but since the OP likes to share these stories, she might as well give Jerry Springer a call and get paid for it. It sounds like BF's brother will be an ideal candidate.