I love my 9-year-old son and wouldn't take the world for him, but he certainly tries us at times. He has ADHD with hyperactivity, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Asperger Syndrome. He is quite a handful and I'd like to talk with other parents who have children with any of these issues. I would like to get their spin on what works for them and what doesn't and wouldn't mind sharing ideas. I'm desperate.

I teach middle school kids with multiple handicaps. I have lots of spins on just about everything. I know what works for me in my class...... I do know they are a handful and at times you want to throw your hands up. I have 4 asperger kids, 3 autistic , and 6 others with everything in between. and they all have multiple problems. this is a great bunch of members here. I know they are willing to help.

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

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My son was previously diagnosed with ADHD. He does not have it. What my son does have is Asperger's. I think alot of the things you mentioned above are included in the Asperger diagnosis. My son is now 19 and it is still challenging. He is supposed to graduate high school this year. My son is VERY DEFIANT and VERY STUBBORN. You have to PICK YOUR BATTLES. This was the most important thing I learned. If it is not life threatening, let it go. Pick the rules that are most important and start with those. ALWAYS have the same bed time EVERY NIGHT! Try to have a routine. This helps tremendously. When my son is in "one of his moods", I shut his bedroom door and leave him alone. He is usually okay after a little while. Don't know if any of this will help. Let me know if there is anything specific I can help you with.

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I have a son in college with Aspergers.

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Live, Love, Laugh

I also have a 9 year old (10 next month) who has ADHD, ODD and PDD-NOS. They said they coundn't say Aspergers because he didn't have a fixation on any one thing. Another Dr said he was Aspergers and he "Just didn't read the text book" lol He is currently in a private school because of his "tantrums" Best was to describe him is he's like the Incredible Hulk. A great kid most of the time, but don't get him angry!

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I have OCCD
Obsessive-Compulsive Coupon Disorder!!!

OK you just described my son. He is 9 he has adhad ocd aspergers and there are about 3 others that he has that I don't want to say here. But I feel for you and if you need to chat please email me. I could try to give you some advice on what works for us. It's hard and each day is a challenge with these kids! I do know that it is very important to take care of yourself and your mental health. I am right now as we speak on vacation in Florida all alone! This is my week to recharge! Please email me I think we were given the same kid!

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

My 11 yr old DS has AHDH. He was actually diagnosed very early and began treatment at age 4. It is a daily struggle for our family. I know your pain. It is also heartbreaking as a mother to watch your child suffer this disorder. Also, it has really done a number on my marriage unfortunately. Things in that area are improving, but it is a constant struggle.
I used to belong to a support group which was helpful, however that group has dissolved. I wish I had some good advice to give but I don't other than just put your arms around him and love him.
Please feel free to PM me if you would like. I can definiyely relate!
~Jovia

My 23 yr old has ADHD. Luckily he has a very gentle soul so that has helped. I would agree with the above poster-pick your battles!!! If it's not importatnt just let it go. I think that's the most important thing I learned in our years of counseling. It was rough raising him, that's for sure! They are a "challenge". Barely got him through high school-not because he's stupid but because he really didn't care! My expectations went from try to get B's to try to pass the class and get your diploma! D- gradepoint? Fine, just graduate!!! lol He's been working since he was 14 1/2 though. In most areas it's much easier now. He recognizes if he's in a bad mood and I shouldn't talk to him and he let's me know instead of getting into a fight with me. Good luck, it's a long road but try to enjoy the good times and their excitement at the things they enjoy. And don't sweat the small stuff!

Best advice you could get! Kathy is exactly correct!

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

We adopted 2 special needs children. One, our daughter, who is 15 now, and is RAD and ADHD. Then our son, who is 7 now, and ADHD. PM me if you want to talk.

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

I have a son that was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD.

My analogy for him is the shopping cart with a busted wheel; you always have to struggle to keep it on the path.

With that being said, he is a brilliant, and creative person. Don't shortchange your son. Figure out how he ticks, and find his strengths and focus on those. Be sure to encourage and nurture his strengths. You will most likely have to think outside of the box for this.

Don't give up on him, I didn't with my son and I always (still do) had high expectations for him. He is now nearly 16 and will be entering community college this year. We had him tested and he is extremely high in spatial aptitude (sp?), basically this means that he has the ability to view things in 3D and would probably do well in engineering.

In fact, come to think of it, none of my kids fit into the "normal" definition. But, normal is boring; every now and again people like to experience new flavor combinations, like pomegrante and dark chocolate. Variety is the spice of life. Embrace it.

Also, don't be too troubled when people can't handle being around your son. Not everyone has a high tolerance level and I just tell my son that some people can't handle his energy level. He shouldn't take it personally. Guard his self-esteem.

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