I just saw this on AOL...I admire that woman for standing up there with him...I can't even imagine how difficult that must be...I'd want to rip his slimy little head off. Unless she just enjoys the wealth and lifestyle...maybe she doesn't want to give that up...Maybe she truly loves him still...Who knows? We all make mistakes... I think that I could be more forgiving if he had a long-term affair with another woman...but a prostitute? I can't imagine anyone, male or female spending $5,000 for sex. They must be pretty darn good for that amount of money! If that was me, he had better be praying that he didn't give me AIDS or an STD! I don't know anything about either of them...She looks like an attractive woman. ~Lisa

Mrs. Spitzer Stands By Her Man
By David Knowles
Mar 11th 2008 8:46AM
Filed Under:eDemocrats, Republicans, Featured Stories, Eliot Spitzer


Sometimes it's hard to be a woman,
Giving all your love to just one man.
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand...

--"Stand by your Man" by Tammy Wynette

At this point, it has become something of a cliché in our cultural imagery: A disgraced male public official at a news conference taking his lumps for a newly unearthed sexual indiscretion while his baffled yet supportive wife stands at his elbow, struggling to put a public face on the many emotions roiling beneath a calm exterior. Many viewers to our latest reality-television episode, starring Eliot Spitzer, no doubt shouted back at the T.V. in sympathetic support to Spitzer's wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, "Leave the bum!"

So why do so many wives of public figures stick it out after infidelity comes to light? Why not skip the news conference and file for D-I-V-O-R-C-E?

three words

Oh Hell NO!

__________________
"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

Have you stopped to think that maybe she did know about it? And was ok with it?
Maybe that is how their relationship works. I don't know. Maybe the wife doesn't have sex with him and is ok with him getting it elsewhere....
Who knows??

I agree that him finding a long term paramour would probably have been the better way to go (assuming his wife knew about his extramarital affair(s) ), but men don't have enough blood to run both heads at the same time.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I felt sorry for her, she looked so emotionless. Me on the other hand would have grabbed the checkbook, emptied the accounts out and had the locks changed while he was on tv Don't get mad get even.

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Sometimes the elevator often the shaft

As a matter of fact, I did stop to think about that...From the following statement that he made, I highly doubt if she knew about this..."I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family." ...If she's ok with him going to prostitutes, then she must belong in the loony bin. What a dumb ass being in the public eye and doing something like this. If people want a "relationship" like that, why bother being married then? Just stay single and do your thing. I feel sorry for his three daughters. From the description of the woman he was with, it sounded like he liked them young and slim... ~Lisa

This is not just a case of marital infidelity. It is much more than that apparently.

Regardless if she was OK with it or not, what he did was illegal, he not only hired a prostitute but arranged to have her cross state lines (against the Man Act) and he might have been involved with money-laundering. He laid himself open to extortion and compromised his position as NY Governor. He now not only faces the humiliation of his wife, and his 3 teen-age daughters, and not only the possible end of his political career with an impeachment, BUT HE FACES PRISON TIME.

He is not only my Governor, but was the State Attorney General and was instrumental in vigorously prosecuting these types of prostitution rings. He was wire-tapped and they have his text messages.
This is hard for NY especially now during an election time (he supported Hillary Clinton and is our state's Super Delegate----and this is regardless of whether you support her or not, I don't, however many people depend on him) and it is budget time in NY and it is very crucial during this recession.

This has been devastating news to his family, his constituents, and to the entire state.

I agree with you "marilynk" he was not using his "brain!"

__________________

I would not stand by my man in a case such as this and have absolutely NO admiration or respect for anyone who would. Sorry...nope, not gonna happen. From the wording involved, it does not appear it was something the wife knew about and if she did, I would think even lower of her because what he did was illegal (as already said). Having a girlfriend on the side isn't illegal but what he did IS.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I'm in NY, too, and this is really, really bad. "Hypocrite" is the word I'm hearing around here.

I can't even imagine what his 3 teen-aged DAUGHTERS are going through

And, no, I would not stand by him.

I told my DH when we got married, "if you ever choose to cheat, she better be worth it because it'll cost you half of everything plus your kids."

So, no, I would not stand by him. I have wondered why all these wives stand up there and support their man when he's admitting to stuff like this. I'd be home packing his stuff while he was making his announcement. You choose the action, then you choose the consequence. I am totally faithful and expect nothing less of DH.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

No - it would make me feel cheep, less than etc. Even if I knew about it, condoned it, I could not / would not stand up there and say "its going to be OK, I wasn't enough then but I will be here now". Nope, I can't think of another way to hurt ones spouse than to ask that of them either...not just to understand, but to support and publically.

__________________
saraedawson@yahoo.com

Mommy to Jake, Alexis, Abigail and Joshua, Wife to Matt

I agree with you 100%...well said! He's a public official...he can't be trusted. Bottom line. He needs to resign and his wife needs to see a divorce attorney ASAP and make him pay through the pocketbook for the public humiliation he's caused her and his family. ~Lisa

as a NYer. I'm proud to say I didn't vote for him. I am sorry for his wife and daughters.

I would need a LOT more time to decide IF I wanted to stand by him. Just hearing about it and then going up w/ him while he read that stupid statement? nope. ESPECIALLY b/c of the kids. You know how teens are. I feel so bad for them.

ETA: can't say (not having been in that situation) if I'd be willing to completely give up my marriage and life over a one night stand. I'd like to think my vows could withstand it, with counseling. But who knows.

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

Having had my DH have a affair fling whatever you want to call it with my then best friend I promptly kicked him out of the house, changed the locks, hooked up an alarm, threw his clothes in the front yard and I did good pretending things were Ok when his sister dropped dead shortly after I gave him the boot, it took 6 months to let him back in the house and two years before I let him into the bedroom.

I didnt stand by my man and my best friend became enemy number 1 and I havent spoke to her in almost 10 yrs despite her trying to apologize to me via email and Myspace I am done with her. DH he knows if he screws up again he will be gone for good and I will not let him live it down.

So based on experience no cant stand by my man and I hope she does as the Former Governor of NJ's wife did and divorce him.

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~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

I cannot imagine how I would feel about being lied to and cheated on but to top it off be used as a prop to explain the situation to the media. I am so sick of the wives that stand right next to these men, and there have been many in the past few years. For something so personal to become a media snipit is sickening. I don't know if I would stand by my husband in this situation. I do know that I would not be used as a pawn to help him keep his status. If it would happen I am sure that it would take alot of soul searching, talking, yelling and forgiving for the marriage to survive. But I don't think the charade of standing next to him with that look of vomit in the mouth would ever EVER happen.

I don't imagine she'll stick by him for too long. I think her head is spinning and all she is doing now is going through the motions of showing some composure.

The situation is beginning to unravel, and looks like it was more than just one indescretion.

And I agree with most of the posters- his words and actions demonstrate that his wife was not in on this.

I do NOT believe she'll stick by him. I think we'll see this marriage unfold quickly.

Don't forget -- Bill Clinton was in the white house, and Hilary was First Lady. She was doing her best to keep her and his positions. Different story. I don't think the Governor will have a position to hold onto for much longer. As soon as that is official, I think we'll see her leave.

Well my first impulse is to scream "NO NO A MILLION TIMES NO" however as others have pointed out I have no idea what their marriage holds or what private agreements they have.

At the very least I would be very betrayed even if I did know about it because it should be a private thing. Then again if you are the Mayor how stupid can you be to think it won't be revealed?

Myself personally I cannot see any circumstances where I would "allow" my husband to participate in any kind of sexual thing other than you know private gratification without me. Not even if I were paralyzed and could not function would I allow it. In that case I would insist upon a divorce so that he could pursue a nornal relationship with someone.

Of course this is all speculation on my part as it is one thing to sit her and type and think about it and quite another thing to go through any of these scenarios for real.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Well, I too think she is just getting her bearings straight and will kick his cheating, stealing a$$ out the door. He was stealing money from the family---and from all reports, this was definitely NOT a one-time thing. Might have been the first time with this particular 'ho, but he was a known client of this "agency" and even had a reputation of being "difficult" to please.

Beyond that, what kind of example would it show his and her 3 teen-age daughters to say, by condoning what happened under ANY circumstances, that this is the kind of crap you put up with from a man....NO WAY. Show them that they deserve better...show him THE DOOR!!!!! And, then hand him your attorney's phone number.....

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

That's EXACTLY what I was going to post!!!!

How can one person be so stupid?? It just amazes me. His wife was a Harvard graduate, he had 3 teenage daughters, I'm sure a nice home, a prestigious title.......and PROSTITUTES??? This doesn't hold out alot of promise for those of us still hoping to one day find a good man!!!!

She should be facing charges too now that it's obvious she is protecting the adulterer.

As this is unfolding, I just read that he didn't want to wear condoms when he was with these prostitutes (the media said that he was a regular client of this "call girl" agency)...So he really didn't care if he put himself or his wife at risk for AIDS or other STDs....that alone would be enough reason for me to kick his arse! I agree with the other posters...I think that once he's kicked out of office, she'll leave him. As I said before, we all make mistakes. I'm not sure I'd give up my marriage over one affair, but this is a whole other ballgame. ~Lisa

While I agree that it would be hard to give up a long marriage over an affair - it is HIM who chose that when he decided to go outside the marriage for sex...I don't think I could forgive that or ever trust him again.

Lisa

__________________
"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

Exactly!



PRDNME: " But I don't think the charade of standing next to him with that look of vomit in the mouth would ever EVER happen."

Truly, that was an excellent description. I LOL for real but it is the perfect description.

He's an idiot. She'll be on Oprah soon, (after the divorce), spilling her guts....It ain't gonna' be pretty.

NO!! for me too - and if anyone asked where I was during that news conference, he could reply -"she is home packing my bags and changing the locks" !!

What an idiot! How dare he put his family at risk. It seems that he is a selfish man.

This alone makes me sick. In today's day and age and this is an educated man who knows about diseases and such.

Pig no not even pigs are cute and cuddly I can't think of a word that describes him.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Would I do it?
No way!
My DH knows that I wouldn't


I just saw a news clip that showed them leaving vehicles in front of a building. She bolted from the car and almost ran into the building. She was no where near him.

I think she is beside him in public right now because of her 3 teen age children. They have to be suffering too. She is just being a mother now.

And if she is anything like me ~~~ planning her revenge

Dito...and there's no way I would be standing next to him. I almost wonder if she knew about this and was ok with it and the only real embarrassment to her is that the whole world found out?

well men do stupid things for S____ no matter how smart they are or how much they have to loose they just seem to think with certain body part at times would I have stood up thier by him HEck NO

I would have been out emptying bank accounts & destroying anything worth something to him maybe busting out car windows or something

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mom of 3 greats girls

No the only way I could see staying is if there were lots of money involved , as in DH better pay out lots of money to get me and my children by if he wants the public to think everything is just peachy. I would also stay if one of the conditions were I could whack him upside his big dumbass head every day for humiliating me and making fools out of our family.

I would be standing there with my attorney I wouldn't pack his bags either, he would be lucky if I let him keep whatever clothes he was wearing. I would pack his clothes up and give them to the homeless on the streets of the city.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Under the same circumstances, yes, I would stand by him during his press conferences.
Of course before doing so, any “prenup” signed by me would become void/null and he
would have to pay me $80,000, “per appearance”. Then (just to relieve a little tension),
upon completion of his statements to the press, I would reach up grab hold of those ears,
and slam his face into the podium. However, I would not be as lenient when dealing with
the divorce settlement.

__________________

It's impossible for me to say what I'd do under such circumstances. Well, no, first thing would be to get myself to the dr's office for a blood test or two. Beyond that, I think there is just so much to consider. There may be a school of thought that says that you want to attempt to save his reputation and/or employability, if that's where you hope to draw alimony or child support. I also think that if the spouse had no idea this was going on, that there is an emotional cycle that people go through that starts with shock and denial....

anyways, bottom line...I don't know what I'd do, nor do I think I could fault anyone for what they do (within reason) given the circumstances...

Just my 2c

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I think right now she is in shock, but she's also thinking of her kids. The less of a fuss she makes, the less the press will focus on her and the kids. She's getting a lot of attention but not like she would get if she were to bounce his hairy ass out the door and refuse to go with him to the press conference. His reputation is going to follow those children and she is doing what she can to not make things worse for them.

An everyday couple, with no press following their every move, can react differently. The press doesn't care. The rest of us don't care.

But, right now, the press is having a feeding frenzy. This is a nice change of pace for them after following the presidential candidates around for so long. And what fun it would be if they could catch her throwing a fit or tossing his stuff on the lawn. It would stoke the feeding frenzy to untold heights.

Isn't he a millionaire several thousand times over regardless of his political stance? I thought i read that somewhere...

I honestly think unless it happens to you that you can't say for sure what you would do. I have known several people who always said if thier dh every cheated they would leave in a second. Well it happened to 3 of them. And only 1 left her dh but returned after about 6 months.
If my dh cheated I would be broken hearted. I have put 11 years into my relationship with him and honestly I can not say for sure I would leave him. It would depend on alot of things. If I did stay I know it would take alot of time for the trust to return.
When your on the outside looking in you can give all kinds of advice. But when it happens to you it may look different.

I can say I would leave , and I did after 18 years of marriage. Everyone is different. I have always said. " they cheat once, they will always cheat!"

The hardest part is learning to Trust again.

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

Yes, he is. He inherited millions from I believe his mother.

We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe she knew about it and approved of it so she wouldn't have to have sex with him. From what I've read, he wanted really kinky and unhealthy types of sex (things that even some of the other prostitutes wouldn't do). Maybe she's staying for the money. But maybe she'll file for divorce after it all cools down and his butt is sitting in prison. And then she can collect all that big inheritance money for herself and enjoy the rest of her life. From what I've read, he was a demanding, angry man.

She's not dumb. I'm sure she's had her attorney consultations, too. She's just waiting for the right time.