I will try to make this short. I have 2 aquantainces (I am not really friends with either, but I am friendly with both) and they are going through divorces but they were best friends for a long time. The one best friend is sleeping with the other friends husband and they were having an affair, apparently the wife was having an affair too, but none of that is really important. They have 2 kids and the one that is sleeping with the husband is making the wife's life miserable.

I have stayed out of it, I am friendly to whoever is around, I don't know the story and don't really care, but there are children involved which brings me to today. We show up at school (the wife's little boy is in another preschool class in the same school, I see her every day) and she sees that her son's substitute is the girlfriend! The girlfriend KNOWS what class he's in, she even has filed some sort of court papers against the wife (I don't know what though) and so the wife leaves in tears and her son doesn't go to school.

The little boy was SO upset, I see this as his safe place and now it isn't, he still has to deal with this garbage at preschool!? He even said to me on his way out that he won't be able to come here anymore? He's only 4. The day before the girlfriend & her one friend showed up at the playground that the wife goes to every day after school with her kids and pretty much made it so uncomfortable for her and her kids that they left crying.

The girlfriend is bullying her around and making the KIDS lives miserable and even though it's not my business, I feel like that shouldn't have happened at school? I don't care about who;s right or wrong and I am sure they are all wrong in their own ways but the kids are suffering because the girlfriend is running them out of every place they go and have gone for the last 2 years?

WWYD? Should I not do anything? I am on the parents group at the preschool and was going to talk to the director because MAYBE she didn't know (althought he girlfriend sure did) the situation? I don't want to be involved, but the kids need someone to stick up for them and the wife is getting run out of town by this woman!

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I usually am friendly to all involved too...like you said, there might be wrongs on both sides. I think if I were in your position, I would probably speak to the director. Just state what you did in this post and make sure that the director knows you are not trying to butt into anyone's business...just thinking of the kids.

Hope that helps.

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I was really mad at first and I am glad I waited because I was really ready to go in there and give them a piece of my mind. It made everyone uncomfortable to have her there as a sub, we all know the situation.

I am worried about the kids, the wife is not doing well and the things she has tried to keep normal are getting ruined by the girlfriend showing up (on purpose).

Last week the girlfriend picked up another kid there for a friend and while we were uncomfortable and wondered what her moitive was, we let it go as an emergency situation. But now she's showing up as a sub and then I heard about the playground and it's just too much. The girlfriend is always with her friend and the wife is alone and she's bullying her because it works, it gets rid of her.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

What the one woman is doing, is harrassment. I know it's not your business, but the other woman really needs to start documenting what is happening, just in case in comes up in court.

Good luck to that little boy, he's the one that will suffer the most.

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"Why must you speak, when you have nothing to say." Horatio Hornblower

Oh brother, I am so glad there are brilliant people out there. I mean come on how professional and insensitive can one person be? That poor little boy. None of this is every fair to the kids.

I would say something to the director at least you would know that you tried for the kids sake and to be honest this probably isn't a healthy environment for all of the preschoolers involved, who knows what it could develope into KWIM? I would say that to the director too.

All you can do is try.

Sorry, it's late and I'm tired.......let me make sure I have this straight..... You are friendly with both women, as in , if you saw them, you would say Hi??? Friend A is having an affair with Friend B's husband??? Friend A is running Friend B off on purpose, every chance she gets????

Just want to make sure I have it straight before I try to comment.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

You GOT IT! Believe me my head was spinning today too and it's not even me it's happening to!

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I think it went the other way too, the wife was doing a little harassing of her own, but not so it was effecting the kids. Like I said there are no innocent parties in the adults and I don't know the whole truth about either side, I'm not that close to it all.

She did say she was calling her lawyer today, I hope she did. (the wife)

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

If it were me I would definantly speak to the director, that is ridiculous!! Where the heck is this dad that is letting his girlfriend, or anyone, upset his child? The poor child not even being able to go to school or the playground is pathetic.

Hmmm, ok, well, it seems a bit like she can dish it out but she can't take it, to me. I understand the other woman is harassing the children, as well, but, like you said, there are no innocent parties here.

Sweet of you to want to help. Maybe you can go to the park with the wife and if/when the girlfriend shows up, calmly and politely state to her what a "B" she is being and does she really get off on harassing small children??? Children of her lover, no less.

I guess the wife could take out a Restraining order against the g/f to protect herself and her children, but, remember, the g/f will probably do the same, and then I can just see them calling the cops on each other all the time.

Good Luck on this one.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Maybe talk to the head of the parents' group that you are a member of... Let them take care of making a decision as to how to handle it.

Protect yourself by not getting into the middle of it.

It is hard when you care.

I am very confused, but something on my mind is where is the little boy's father - the woman who is taunting everyone, isn't she having the affair with the boy's father.

If I were the father, girlfriend or no girlfriend, I would not be letting her do this to my son......

Maybe I have the story all wrong - I don't know.....LOL

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That's what I was thinking, where is the father of the little boy? Does he know what is going on?

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

I don't know what the father is thinking, or the girlfriend, why would she do that to the little boy.

The president of the parents group wasn't there on Friday and doesn't know either of them. I was sort of elected by the rest of the parents group because I am not friends with either one, I'm sort of the neutral party.

I wanted to bring it to the directors attention because maybe she has no clue. That morning the secretary just blew the mom off and said "well I guess he can;t go to school today" and that's not right no matter what.

And Ann you are right she was dishing it and can't take it I totally agree but the other one is going after the kids (or it's affecting the kids), where the wife was doing it to her directly.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I know you want to help out, but I would stay WAY out of it. The child should not even know what's going on between his parents and the other people involved. I mean, what did mom tell her son when she left after seeing the Sub?

What a horrible position for the kids to be in. I hope to heck that the women are not confronting each other in front of the kids. What a mess.

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Mary

I supsect the Girlfriend has a restraining order against the Wife..It sounds like the Girlfriend is showing up at the places knowing the Wife has no choice but to leave.

If I was in your situtation I would stay out of it ....I also would NOT assiocate with the Girlfreind after seeing what she is doing to this lady & her son. She is really a fowl person to do this to a child!

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They walked into the classroom not knowing she was there, so the little boy saw her there. He knows her because the 2 were best friends for years. I don't think there is a restraining order against the wife, but I can bet there will be one against the girlfriend after that, or at least I hope.

I don't want to get involved and I don't even want them to know I go in, but the boy knows what's gong on and someone needs to let the school know. The girlfriend is also a sub in the grammar school and the wife did ask there if she was not assigned to her daughter's class and they were fine with that.

It's the girlfriend causing the trouble now as I see it, she is going places she has no need to go when she KNOWS the wife is there. And she always goes with a friend so they are together and they stand there are stare the wife down or are just rude, I just don't like it and it makes all of US uncomfortable too.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

OP I agree it is very sad to have a situation where the child is suffering due to his parents & gf/mistress behaving like idiots. Still if I were you I would stay out of it. Who knows what has transpired among the 3 'adults' in the past.

You said gf/mistress has been to court, wife has been to her lawyer...let them fight it out. Surely a lawyer knows what to do if his client is not able to take her child to school, if gf/mistress is harassing the wife, following her around, if his client's child is being traumatized, etc.

Poor little boy

Maybe you can have the boy over for a play date with your kids???? A little "safety zone" free play time??? Tell the Mom just to drop him off, no need for her to stick around, as I"m sure she'll be dishing about the mistress, and kids hear these things, no matter where or how low you say it.

I agree with the others, stay out of it. Hard to do, I know. You may just have to tell them both you're staying out of it.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

While I know it's hard to do, stay out of it.

I would be polite to both of the women, but would not be friendly with either.

Be very careful what you say to either of them, and for that matter be careful of what you say to other people regarding the situation. The wind has a way of changing direction, and it's usually the person in the middle who gets hurt when the wind changes. Your getting involved, by going to other people with what you see as being the best of intentions, is going to come back to bite you in the a**

I would stay out of it, UNLESS it was affecting the children at school - like the friend A is subbing there etc. THEN, I would definitely say something to the principal b/c then she starts encroaching on MY family/kids.

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

I probably know them well enough to do that, but I thought it would be getting to in the middle of it, so I didn't.

I will talk to the wife on Monday and see what she did, maybe she has a restraining order and I don't need worry about it anymore. If she doesn't, I will at least tell the director that I think it is inappropriate for the girlfriend to be there as the sub for that little boy, I don't care if she's my daughters teacher.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

i went through a similar situation where my husbands ex (they were together for 1 yr where she was pregnant 9 months of those) she TRIED to make my life a living H*LL constantly trying to be close to my husband( i meet him 4 yrs after the fact that they seperated) well she was jeolous.I just ignored her and she did finally grow bored of the situation and find a life of her own (sorta) anyways she used to make me uncomfortable to the poimt she would run me out of where ever i was but i got tired of her running my life and started smiling and being pleasant to her and stayed she HATED it and started finding something else to focus on.Tell her to just stick it out smile and bit the heck out of her tongue that will get to the other girl more knowing she didnt get a rise out of her.The other ldy obviously does not have a life of her own and shame on her for doing that to the kids.What does the dad say im sure he wouldnt like it if he knew.She could also probably go to court and have it set up in the child support that she(the other woman) can not be around the children while they are with thier father.

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