A friend and I had a discussion about an article she had recently read about the average amount that people spend on bridal shower or wedding gifts. She said that the article said $100 was an average amount for a non-family member to spend on a gift. This seemed unbelievably high for me but maybe I am just behind on the times. I'm curious to know your opinions.

Vickie

jvsand@cfweb.net

I would probably spend $30-$35 for a shower gift for a non-family member. $50 for a wedding gift for a non-family member. It might be more or less depending on how well I know them. I would spend much more for family, but again the amount would be determined by how close a relative they are.

I would base it on the retail value (not actual amount spent) similar to what csschultz posted.

$100 was an average amount for a non-family member. I don't think so, my limit would also be the same as csschultz.

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

Wow!! Maybe if someone is Mr/Mrs Moneybags!

I'd figure around $25-$30 for shower and $50.00 for wedding for non-family. Family or close friends would be different.

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I usually spend between $35-$55 on a shower gift.

For a wedding gift, since my husband and I are attending, we usually give $100. I am probably figuring this all wrong, but since I know how much it costs to put on a wedding, I at least want to "pay" enough to cover my meal....

For non-family member it would certainly depend on how well you knew the person. Is it just a co-worker, or a best friend? But since I am thrifty I agree that somewhere around $35-55 on the shower gift.

But the wedding gift is the sticking point. Usually the rule was to give about what the meal would cost. But around here the wedding meal could be anywhere from $100 to $250 a plate. (or more!) How can a non-family member possibly give $200-$500 dollars for a couple for someone they are just casual friends with? It makes gift giving very uncomfortable and difficult. Luckily (and that is sad actually to say luckily) I have not been invited to too many recently. At this point I would rather give an actual present that I purchased at a great discount rather than actual cash. I know it varies in various parts of the country, but cash gifts are the rule at weddings around here (UGH).

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Ahhh, you're from Long Island - my friend's son date's a girl from Long Island and she was saying that the weddings are very, very lavish!

My son is being married soon and, if I remember correctly, the dinner will cost between $45-50 pp. Since they are basically paying for it themselves - with a little help from us and the bride-to-be's family, they kept it very basic.

I am not sure what I would do in that case. It would be very difficult for me to come up with $250-$500 for a gift....and I believe my husband would KILL ME if he found out I gave that much!!

Well, for me, it depends on the relationship with the couple. I am closer to some friends than I am to some family. So, my personal closeness and relations with the couple definitely is what dictates what I choose to share with the couple.

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For family we give a shower gift worth about $100, for friends I would spend about $40-$50

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Wow, thanks for all the responses.

Vickie

For a typical wedding with a sit-down meal reception in the Northeast, I would be hesitant to gift at less than $100 and about $50 for shower gift. For a family member, I'm thinking more like $200-$250. for wedding, $50-100 for shower - but I don't have a very big family. If it was a lower-budget affair, a church hall reception, etc, then I'd say more around the $50 level for wedding gift, $25 for shower. So, I guess I agree with the article that OP referred to.

cj/

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I watched one of those Bridezilla type shows. The wedding couple went through the gift table looking for money to pay the vendors at their reception!! They were really pissy because they didn't think people had given them enough. they just opened envelopes and tossed the cards without looking at them and stuffed the cash in his pockets. I was SHOCKED to say the least.

I give practical gifts that everyone needs. I give according to the value of the item, not my cost. I feel that if I am smart enough to look for a good bargain than I should reap the reward. If they do not like the gift, regift it. I'll give an example--I found some stainless steel silverware sets for 12- original price >$100, I paid $14. I found faux leather ottomans with the storage compartment inside and the reversible lid - original price >$100, I paid $25. I would give one of these gifts to a non-family member wedding.

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