My daughter is trying out for the dance team - it is for her Highschool. She danced from the age of three to just a couple of years ago . She has cheered at the highschool level - however she has not been doing either for the last year - she has been in treatment for an eating disorder - and due to the fragile state of her bones she is no longer allowed to be a "flyer" for cheer leading. I have had her away from dance due to the high pressure of the perfect body. This dance team is non-competition - and there are lots of average weight girls on the squad. Soooo - she is trying out-- my question is at the official try out - you can either stay and hear if you made it - or look on the internet for the list of those who made it-- low self esteem goes hand n hand with eating disorders - which for her is related to being extremely petite 4'9" - my gut feeling is I want to protect her from public tears - soo should we go home and wait for the list on the internet - in case she doesn't make it ---- or stay for the excitement of the coaches calling your name and getting to celebrate with the others if she does make it??????

IMO if she has low self esteem and won't be able to handle not making the team while the others are celebrating, you should go home and look at the results on the internet. If she doesn't make the team, she may start to analyze the girls who did make the dance team and start comparing herself to them. Does your daughter think she's fat or is she comfortable with her size now?

My daughter was involved in alot of regional theatre auditions as well as music competitions. We received some great advice and it helped her. "Rejection is God's protection." Whenever she didn't get a part, we tried to look it as a blessing that something more wonderful is around the corner and perhaps that event just wasn't in her best interests. It took the sting out of the loss.

With that said, I think if she were my daughter, we would leave, and possibly try to go do something fun. As if the try-outs were only part of the day......mani/pedicures, movie, shopping, something else to look forward to afterwards to say that all of life is to be enjoyed and this tryout is only one thing. Then check the internet alone at home.

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wow a this is so hard to answer, On 1 hand I would want to be there,just in case I made it, on the other, I would want to leave just in case I didn;t and not wanting to see all the excitement of the girls that did.

As a Mother/ Parent we always want to protect our children, even if the choice is theirs to make and the out come is disappointing.
I think I would have to leave, Mainly because of the low self esteem part, She may be really effected if she doesn't make it and seeing all the other girls that did rejoicing.
What did your DD say about leaving or staying >?<, Maybe she can handle not making it and wants to stay, But you are her Mother and know her best, If you think it will do more harm than good by staying then you should leave and go home.If you truly believe she can handle not making the team then stay be excited for the girls that did make it.

Best of luck with this.

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OP - how did it work out for your daughter? Fingers crossed......

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Yeah did she get on the team? Did you wait to hear the results or did you get them online?

The try out is tomorrow night- Cross your fingers for her!

I hope she makes it

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She decided she wanted to stay for the announcements - she didn't make it --- handled it very well a few tears - -- she is ok today - thanks for the support

Sorry she didn't make it. Maybe a trip out shopping with Mom might be in order? :-)

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Sorry she didn't make it-glad she handled it so well. What a tough call that was for you to make.

It's so hard to see our children hurt or disappointed! I'm sorry for you and her.

I know that she probably doesn't realize it now, but whenever a door closes--a window opens. I hope that with your love, guidance and support she continues to do well and handle life's disappointments as well.

I think a day of beauty--mani and pedi, and maybe a new outfit or two would make you both feel better.

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Bummer! I was rooting for her! I'm so sorry she didn't make it, but kudos to both her and your parenting for handling it well. I hope she finds another activity that she can enjoy and feel great about.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Sorry she didn't make it. I agree with Toonces, shopping is always good

maybe it would be best to ask her what she would prefer to do, and then weigh the pros and cons with her.

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