WWYD? Woman on another board always attacking me

[cubmom2]

I have a problem with a woman on another board I frequent. She constantly attacks my posts. I swear, I can post something like.." A JW came to my door and I was not interested". She'll go into long posts to put me down. For example, I do not like JW because I am self serving , elitist, better than everyone, etc.

Her fave target is , to put me down concering my older ds. He is in college, has aspergers. It has been a rough time. She says I am babying him. Her reasons are, I was CONTROLLING him. The story behind that is, my ds was visiting FL. He got home to his dorm and wanted me to send him a package of toothpaste the next day. I asked why he did not say anything while we were all together at spring break in FL? So for THAT, I was CONTROLLING him by QUESTIONING his toothpaste habits !

It is always a smirky little remark. I am the only one really she does it to out of the 50 or so women on the board.

How do you suggest I handle this ? For right now I ask her what she means by that ? I say I am confused..and ask her to explain..Then out sprews the filth..the CAP LETTERS & plenty of !!!! of course dotted thru the post.

Try ignoring as well..

what would you do ?

[Brendasm1]

I would not post really personal problems on that board., keep it general. I would also report her to the mods, and show them examples of her attacking you.
Sometimes, even on this board, it seems as though there are people just waiting for someone to post a small comment they can blow up and make a huge deal out of (You let your daughter do what? You dont sleep in the same bed as your DH? you are a terrible parent with no control over your family etc), which, as far as I am concerned, is no-one's beeswax.
I also try to remember ANYONE can read these posts, so keep that in mind. I save my everydy stuff for DH and my best friemd and my mom, and stuff I need a wider opinion on here.
Good luck,

[dollydeal]

I would continue to post as I always do making sure I don't break any rules while at the same time modalert her for every rule that she breaks.She will eventually get banned.

[lynclarke]

You know, if this other woman is acting like a jerk then everyone else knows it , too. It is not like the other 38 women on the board are holding their breath waiting for this woman to explain eveything to them. They all know she is a jerk . Let her say crappy stuff. She will force her own ban and you won't need to do a thing. Block her responses if you can and let it go.

[cubmom2]

Originally Posted by Brendasm1

I would not post really personal problems on that board., keep it general. I would also report her to the mods, and show them examples of her attacking you.
Sometimes, even on this board, it seems as though there are people just waiting for someone to post a small comment they can blow up and make a huge deal out of (You let your daughter do what? You dont sleep in the same bed as your DH? you are a terrible parent with no control over your family etc), which, as far as I am concerned, is no-one's beeswax.
I also try to remember ANYONE can read these posts, so keep that in mind. I save my everydy stuff for DH and my best friemd and my mom, and stuff I need a wider opinion on here.
Good luck,

That is true. I post about my college aged son and his transition to college because I wanted to HELP others who may have the same problems when their child enters college. It was TOUGH for my ds and I did not know what really to do. He was having a lot of problems. Countered with his autism.

Yes, I can post a minor incident, and she will come full blast with the " I CANNOT BELIEVE ...". I have typed to her, if you ask in a normal way, instead of the caps , !'s, etc. ASK me for clarification before you jump on me.

Some examples of what I post and what she says: I once posted that my younger son was "dumped" by his GF..also 12. My ds took it hard, was crying. YES it was puppylove and YES I understand they are young, but my ds was hurt and I felt badly for him. SHE blasted that GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! He was freaking 12 ! I hate to see how you act if he was married !

on and on and on...

[suezz]

Not being there I really can't judge..but you can't change her. All you can change is your reaction to her.

I would think that if you totally ignored what she has to say and go on and respond to someone else in the thread, you will not give her the satisfaction of seeing that she is annoying you. You are feeding into her by responding.

On all boards there are personalities...some we bond with and others we don't like. I personally don't like the posters for whom nothing is right or good enough...and really get annoyed with the people who come on with the knee jerk response " Oh.. I am so sorry that happened" repeatedly. I just find myself not answering becasue I can;t change them...and goodness know, nobody can change me LOL

[cubmom2]

Here is another example..when we first moved here, my dh and I went to the post office to get a box. They do not delieve the mail in my state..do not ask me why.

The postmistress asked for 2 forms of ID. The regs stated in order to get a box, you had to show 2 forms of ID..one being a photo ID. My dh and I took that to me one at LEAST had to be a photo ID..so he showed his DL & military ID. Both having photos.

The postmistress stated he can only show ONE photo ID card ? Very confusing..and I would THINK that by showing a DL & military ID..there is less chance you can geet over by saying just showing a DL & library card..

well..smart girl snarls that we BULLIED the postmistress..we blew into town and started to throw our weight around, etc. These are typical scenerios..I feel I have to explain the REAL points of what went on..

I feel saying.." OK, whatever..." to her is lame.

[LBeadle]

You cuold ask her why she is so unhappy and ask what you could do to help her be happier. Or a gentle reminder that people in glass houses should not throw stones and offer her back the rock that she was throwing.

[dnj51]

I'm so sorry "mom" - the best thing to do is ignore her and don't respond to anthing she says. The other board members will see her for what she's worth...just a trouble maker. There will be trolls on any board, unfortuantly she has set her guns on you.

You can email a Moderator, but unless she is threatening you, they will probably not be able to do much.

You can always come here. We love ya, especially when you post all the great deals on the Look What I Found Board.

[Cuthie]

I felt that way on one message board that I frequented. My solution was to quit going there and come to MC! This is actually the only message board that I go to on the web but I do try to visit a lot of the various boards here.

I understand that you have probably bonded with some of the other users. If so, I really would set up the 'ignore' feature to block out her messages. But that's me. Sometimes, I take the easy way out.

[cubmom2]

Thanks guys ! I love you all !

[Toonces]

I agree. Don't even respond to her posts. Just pretend they aren't there at all. Obviously she wants to get a rise or a reaction out of you. Responding to her only fuels her fire. Nothing will piss off somebody like that faster than to just pretend they aren't there. Respond to all the posts around her.

The other alternative is to invite her over to TLJ and have it out with her. ....

[chaoticfun]

Does the other board you are referring to have an "ignore" feature? I know some message boards do have them and that they can come in handy. If nobody else is replying to her posts, then it wouldn't mean that anyone was missing out on any of the true conversation of the board by simply ignoring (not seeing) her posts. That way, you don't have to view it...she never knows the difference! Not sure if that will help...but its worth a shot!
Best of luck!

[mycouponsshauna]

All you need to do is set her to ignore and you will never see her posts again. Go to the User Control Panel and under the Misc section click on Buddy/Ignore lists and add her. Only takes a couple seconds.

[Toonces]

Originally Posted by mycouponsshauna

All you need to do is set her to ignore and you will never see her posts again. Go to the User Control Panel and under the Misc section click on Buddy/Ignore lists and add her. Only takes a couple seconds.

Shauna,
I believe this is occurring on another board, not on MC

[kfdaycare]

Originally Posted by LBeadle

You cuold ask her why she is so unhappy and ask what you could do to help her be happier. Or a gentle reminder that people in glass houses should not throw stones and offer her back the rock that she was throwing.

I agree...well said!

[wowitsdark]

I'd just throw a one-liner out there to make her scratch her head.

"Interesting that you should say that - thanks!"

lol

[CaddyLisa]

One word... IGNORE. ~Lisa

[cjs216]

I agree that IGNORE seems to be the best option for these kind of unhappy and bitter people.

Do the mods and/or other members notice this person's behaviour and do anything about it?

cj/

[BrendaRawson]

I would say the best thing to do is ignore her or quit going there. Sorry she is treating you bad, some people are just unhappy and take it out on others.

[allinaugust]

With only 50 members that's a pretty small community, which can be both good and bad. If I were you, I'd just stop going there, why put up with the hassle??? Message boards should be fun, not where you go to get bashed by some person who obviously has no control in her "real life" and tries to control things on a message board.....pathetic.

I used to belong to a small community message board, and there was this one woman on there.....she would constantly pick at people, and for the oddest reason, the other members (most of them) seemed to think this woman could do no wrong. I just stopped going there, and don't miss it a bit.