let us TRY and be civil about this topic please.

Racism, do you see it where you live today? I am asking because on of my bestfriends are black, this woman is good to me and for the most part I have seen people be very nice to her but there are a few that I just want to smack upside the head. I think people "wonder" about us and why we are together every weekend sometimes more. It is almost like they can't figure it out, I have been asked if we were related by marriageher kids were hanging out with us one day and someone asked me where I lived that I knew so many black people? Needless to say I was ticked. People question me about her, like what does she do?where does she work? Why are they so obsessed? Why is it any of their business?

People can be idiots. There are more things in life to worry about then someone elses skin color. I have another very good friend from Egypt and I notice that when I am out with her people just stare because of her heavy accent. I think I have seen her get more dirty looks when she is speaking Arabic to her husband on the phone. She asked me one time if it bothered me that she did that and I told her no, because it doesn't. I enjoy listening to her even though I don't know what the hell she is talking about, she fills me in on some words.


I just love it when people stare because I let them know that I know they are staring whether my friends know it or not.

One day my friend said why is that lady staring at us? I looked at the lady and said I don't know but I think she wants me because I am hot!! We were laughing. Served the lady right.

Yes, I saw it last night.I was standing in the checkout line in the store and there happened to be man of the African descent in front of me.There was no buggies in between us and because of the crowded line I guess it appeared as though we were together and EVERYBODY was staring at me.I know it was because of this because nobody rarely ever looks at me and if they do its a second glance.But these looks were the long staring glares as if they were in shock. I am not racist,although I would never date outside my race but that is just personal preference.I
have met a few in the past that were so nice that if they weren't of a different race I most definately would be interested.My brother was dating a woman of that race and my parents had a fit,lol. He ended up discontinuing seeing her because of it.My stupid exhusband set up our wedding ceremony at a Church that was African predominant and I did not know it till our wedding day.My parents were like , LOL.
I think he did it on purpose because he never liked my parents and knew how they were about it.

Unfortunately, yes, and my kids had to learn about it as well.

My kids are in 2nd and 3rd grade. DS comes home the other day (3rd grade) and asks me what a N****r is. He said that they had their own 'election' at school, and while other people were on the computer voting, they kids were talking at their desks and one boys told the group sitting there that if that ****** wins, then all the white people will be slaves to the *******.

My son told this kid that no one was allowed to be a slave anymore because Abraham Lincoln said so. LOL

It was a difficult discussion to have, because we have many friends who are of other ethnic backgrounds, and I don't want my kids to see color-I want them to see the people. 2 of their closest friends are bi-racial and they've *never* said anything about the diference in the color of their skin until we had this discussion. They are a very close friend of mines twins, and the 4 of them have been around each other since birth-they even call my DD Sissy rather than her given name.

It makes me mad, but it also makes me very sad, because this was a 3rd grader we're talking about. If he is being taught things like this in 3rd grade, what is he going to be taught in a few years?

We haven't encountered it around here in a long time. I don't think my kids have seen it. Our area is probably 80% white and then 15% hispanic and 5% other (indian, black, asian, etc). You would think since the majority of people are white that non-whites would really stand out and racism would be bad...but it's not. My kids both have bi-racial friends and asian friends and have never mentioned skin color.

I know it exists but I also think lots of prejudices exist that are just as bad

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I agree with that statement. Look at how handicapped people get stared at.

I think racism exists, and not just against black people. I don't consider a person's color when I see them. I will say this, I would prefer NOT to have a black woman cutting my hair. Not because of her skin color, but, I have not found one that can cut my hair properly. Not many white women can, honestly. I have curly/wavy hair, and it is difficult to cut properly. I can't go to any of the "cheap" salons to get it done.

In my area, I am sure it exists, but, I honestly don't see it blatantly. I went to Krispy Kreme last week, and there was not one white person working in there. Is that racism?

We have a black family that lives across the street. I honestly would not have a problem if my DD wanted to date their son. He is very nice, very respectful, and always waves and says Hi to us. But, the same goes for the parents, so I can tell he was raised right. The lady that cleans my teeth is in a biracial marriage. I lover her to pieces. It's like getting together with an old friend when I go to the dentist.

Happy2BeHere....you are a BRAVE woman

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Honestly your title caught my attention sort of like Jeff Foxworthy "You have my attention". YES I experience this every day in the mobile home park I live in. My SO is black and a majority of the people are low class wenchess. I see them looking at me and sticking their noses so high in the air that if it rains they will drown. I must say that both of our families have accepted our "spouses" and I know certian members of my family love him like a brother. I am well received by his family, including all 5 older sisters KWIM?

Growing up my brother had been hit by a car he lived but has physical damage so I grew up with him being handicapped and if you stare chancesa re I don't notice.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

Yea here in the south I see it almost daily, it is so sad that people look down on others because of skin color

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

It exists here--but not against the blacks, or hispanics, against the Native Americans. We have a high population of Native Americans here (I believe there are 5 reservations in the state).
There aren't that many Black/African Americans in this state, much less in the city where I live. No, I don't know why--wouldn't even hazard a guess!!

So, let me ask you (the board as a whole)--if a police officer here in town notices a car that is not local (can tell usually by the plate number), and is being driven and occupied by blacks and they are driving very slowly through a neighborhood---that officer stops them. Is that racial profiling or not?
I am curious as to the vaious opinions...

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Depends on the neighborhood. If its in our ritzy upper class they would say yes. Experience is that very few (if any)Africian Amrericans live in that area. I think just based on the slow driving in ANY neighborhood desearves a quick "Can I help you find your address?" stop. I often wonder if the police would do that and if people would not complain about it if that would cut down on the number of drive by shootings and home break-ins in our town. Of course that would leave the officer open to injury or a lawsuit.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

I can say that I don't often see it where I live. There are occassionally some looks, but for the most part, no. I'm sure it's there. I was talkiing to a friend who adopted bi racial children and she said that they have experienced next to none in our area. Now, there may be things she simply hasn't noticed, but for the most part nothing.

I'm starting to think that maybe we need to realize that it is human nature to stare at, or at least be more aware of ppl who are different than we are used to. That's just the way it is so we need to stop seeing it as racism, when really it could be considered ignorance. Some ppl just don't know better. And that goes for ALL ppl. I know that there are some truly racist ppl, no doubt, but they are the minority now.

My neice was telling me (bc of something else we were talking about) that there was an area near where they live that her dh will not take her to because it is dangerous. It is a predominantly black area. She thinks that these ppl are there because they don't care about changing. To some extent, I agree, but only because they have no reason to think any differently. It may be beyond their comprehension to think that things could be different. I learn things everyday that change my perspective......it's the same with this situation only on a bigger scale. (that obviously applies to ppl of ANY color, just to clarify)

I will be excited to hear other's perspective......

Melissa

When my grandmother (Swedish) wanted to marry my grandfather (Italian), her relatives were horrified. Even 60 years later when visiting my great aunts and uncles they had something to say about Italians......it's laughable really since my children are now french, dutch, italian, irish, swedish, german and english. My sister is married to an Asian and dh sister is married to a Hispanic.
When my family first moved on Long Island, the town they moved to were closed to Jews. That's all changed.
My area is very ethnically mixed and it's great. I asked the kids and they didn't see much racism and all their friends were Indians, Asians etc.
I would hope that having a racially mixed community breaks down racist views, seeing up close that people are just people. I know however that that is probably a very naive view.
When hunting for a college my dd tried very hard to get a Christian college that was racially mixed but it was hard to get one with her major. Almost all of them were predominately white. After choosing her school and moving to Lancaster, PA, she found that her classmates were very ignorant of other races and cultures. They had almost all lived in an isolated community of only whites and only protestants. She felt that most of their type of racism (not hate, but total ignorance) was really based on that isolation.

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Oh rose, it isn't just Italians! Swedes were ferocious about not marrying outside of their nationality! It wasn't until my Parents generation that the kids started marrying out of their nationality. It horrified the Swedish community as a whole!

My husband is black and while we haven't experienced any overt racism as a bi-racial couple, we do ocassionaly get stares. My kids have not mentioned any problems, although I heard from a neighbor that my son was called the N word by another neighbor kid. The thing I guess I notice most is that when we are shopping together it is never assumed we are together.

I will never forget the time my son (kindergarten at the time) came home from school and said he was glad Martin Luther King, Jr did what he did because it meant he could be friends with "Johnny", who had a very dark complexion. I looked at Ryan and said "umm...you know you are black too?" The kids are fortunate enough to be attending schools with kids of every races and combinations so it doesn't seem to faze them. I'm sure there will come the time when someone's parent doesn't want their child to date one of ours because they are mixed...but it hasn't been an issue yet.

About 20 years ago I was in another relationship with a black man and we were looking for an apartment. We called a local complex and was told they had vacancies, and we set up an appointment. When we got there an hour later all of the units had mysteriously been rented (said the man at the front desk). Then a voice from a back office said "oh no....there are a couple of units open". Needless to say, we didn't live there!

I see it sometimes, but I do think that most people are really trying to be open minded. I think the biggest obstacle is ignorance and as the world gets smaller and smaller, we are all learning more and more about other people. It is just going to take time.

Now I have a question for everyone to think about..........
If you are white, would you move into a totally black, hispanic, or asian (or whatever) neighborhood?

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

yes and probably have more fun.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

When we were looking for a house to buy we based it on the looks of the neighborhood. We had no clue what color the people living there were. It was not until we moved in and met our neighbors that we found out what color or ethnicity they were. As long as it was a nice n'hood with good schools, and people kept their yards nice, no junk cars in the yard, and sofas on the front porch, I would have no problem with it.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

It's a can of worms here!!!
This is an ongoing debate here. We have had an influx of blacks from Chicago and the crime rate has gone up. Don't call me racist. Facts are facts. There are two specific neighborhoods and they are now looked at as the ghetto areaa. I dated an African AMerican for almost three years. I have black neighbors. It just so happens the influx is gangsta types. I have a problem with that subculture. I dont have a problem with African Americans in general. With the current increase of problems here, and its spilling over into the schools, I can understand why people end up racist. It's gets really old to be driving down the street and getting glared at by young black men with their pants falling off. And it's not me staring at them, you notice when people are glaring at you.

That reminds me of my husbands mother. He was in his fifties before she broke down and told him that her grandmother was Swedish. The family is Norwegian and they always said they were Norwegian if asked. They kept the Swedish grandma a secret. Just a little blip on the family tree...lol..

And my mother-in law had three brothers and two sisters and one of the sisters married a Swede. It took probably fifty years for them to "forgive" him for his ancestry. They loved him and they all got along, but the "Swede" part got mentioned frequently.

Needless to say that my Heinz 57 variety background made me the less than perfect daughter-in-law as well.

I think racism is like any other type of bigotry. People will pick out what ever differance they percieve as a disadvantage to make themselves feel superior. It's not just color or culture, size, speech, education or lack of, are also used to bash others in the "one up manship" battles.
I was once having a drink with my friend who is maybe 5 foot tall if you measure the heels and hair, and some guys were making all kinds of derogatory remarks about her size. I could tell she was steaming and I had to put these jerks in their place. ( I am a very cheerful person but if you mess with my family or friends I will go straight for the jugular. ) I couldn't believe being small could be a reason for people to be prejudiced but she said it happened all the time. What an eye opener for me!

Like an above poster I see more predjudice towards Native Americans here, than most other races but that is because of the large population of Natives. Do I agree with it? No.

My personal opionion is that racism, predjudice or bigotry are all a little too general for me. I like to dislike people on a one by one basis.

Also if you are a racist and saying that all (fill in the blank) are awful people, you are implying that all of your own race are wonderful. And Lord knows that isn't true.

Besides, intolerance give you a frowny face and a very small world to live in.

*this was typed before coffee so please excuse any typos.

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

We don't have much here, because we are in a large city, my husband is hispanic and I'm caucasian, and our kids are gorgeous... We don't get stares or anything because we are biracial, we just get people telling us how beautiful our kids are... BUT, in our hometown that's probably 60/40 white/hispanic... There's a lot of prejudice, not really outright, but even my own mother, introduces my kids as her hispanic grandkids, (she also does it with her "Asian" grandkids") I think she does it to try to sound more cultured/tolerant but it sounds completely crass... Also, when we are out with my sister out where she lives, it's farm country and we get a lot of stairs because the only hispanics they really ever see are the ones they pay to work in the fields...

I think a lot of the predjudice was also aimed at Catholics in general too. It was a pretty safe bet that an Italian was not Lutheran and that was not acceptable. So a marriage like that had a double whammy.

I mentioned above, my MIL and her Swedish grandmother, but MIL had a pecking order. At the bottom of the pecking order was any one who was not Scandanavian or Lutheran, with particular disdain for Muslims, Catholics, or Jews or anyone whose skin was darker than milk. Which pretty much left only certain northern Europeans, Canadians and Americans.

I've often thought that it must be hard to maintain so much fear and dislike. It takes too much energy.

This certainly gave me a laugh, nearly choked on my coffee!

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Living in the deep south, yes I see it everyday. Here's a story for you. My family and I and a couple other families were going to a park about 45 minutes away. When we got there we couldn't find our way around. While trying to find the fishing pond and playground one of the families called us from a nearby park, they were lost. We decided to go meet them because they said the park was very nice and exactly what we were looking for. So, we all meet up at the park. We are all caucasion. Everybody at the park was African American, 100% everyone else. They were BBQ'ing and celebrating a First Communion we later learned. Anyway, I was the only one who wanted to stay. I truly wasn't afraid. If they were feeling territorial because they were there first and had said something then we would leave. But leave just in case?? Nope. We stayed there. We didn't go under the pavilion because they were obviously celebrating and we didn't want to intrude. We parked our trucks under a big oak tree and tailgated. But we shared the tennis wall and playground equipment and it all went just fine. I love it when i can have a "I told you so" moment LOL!!

Selena

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God is not Santa Claus

our daughters god mother is black. she has told me many times she is not africian she is black. anyways, she goes with us on vacation alot and we were at Hilton head island a few yrs ago and one of the women at the condo we were staying in was staring at her with us. she noticed this older woman who was dripping in gold chains and had huge rings on her fingers , this woman watched us while we were at the pool. when we started to leave, this woman who was staring got up to leave when we did. god mom told us to play along with her if this woman got in the elevator with us. Well, she did. God mom started saying things to me like" mame, Do you mind if I take a few hours off today to go to the beach? and I replied some thing about it not being her day off and then the kids chimed in with But mom, miss rosie has been working for us sooo long and she needs a day off " this crap went on and on with me saying no to the time off and god mom and the kids begging for just a few hrs off. by the time we got to the 10 floor where we were to get off, I had finally agreed to let her have a few hrs off but I was docking her pay. This old woman was staring holes through me!!!!!!!!
It was great!!!!!! we saw her a few times after that and she watched us like a hawk each time. God mom is a nut and she will do anything when people are staring at us. she was with us somewhere else and there was a couple staring at us and god mom grabbed up my daughter who was like 4 at the time and laid a big old kiss on her the couple that was staring at us , their mouth fell open. its such fun to do stuff like this!
god moms hubby is 6'6 balled and is a cop. its more fun when he is with us. they REALLLLLLLLY stare and if I catch someone staring, I will walk up beside him and ease my hand into his or put my arm around him. its great.
oh by the way, we live in the south . lololololol

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I also remember my friend about a month ago accidently bumped into someone and she said"Oh excuse me I am sorry" and this person just looked her up and down and gave her a dirty look, then later on we were out and the same thing happened she asked me why people people are so rude in this town. I have no clue but this is why I don't associate with much of anyone.


I have been discriminated against as a white person, I have been called "that white girl" and how they didn't want to sit with "that white girl you hang with" my friend was so upset about it but I personally just laughed it off. I just smile, wave and say hi at people because I know it pisses them off more then it does me.

[quote=omahamom;2990459]

I will never forget the time my son (kindergarten at the time) came home from school and said he was glad Martin Luther King, Jr did what he did because it meant he could be friends with "Johnny", who had a very dark complexion. I looked at Ryan and said "umm...you know you are black too?" QUOTE]



That is too funny! I think in kindergarten they don't even realize the differences, I never knew my son's best friend was black until we got out class pictures on picture day! He didn't know there was a difference so it never occurred to him to say anything.

We don't have a big mix of nationalities where I am up here in the sticks, but I try to encourage my kids to be friends with whoever they like, doesn't matter to us.

We had a home health aide last year for my Dad and she was from Africa, my daughter was sitting with her one night watching tv eating ice cream and she said "your ice cream (chocolate of course) is the color of your skin", I could have fallen over! After DD went to bed the aide and I had a huge discussion on race, it was really a great talk and nice to hear from someone not from this country how things are where they are from, that sort of thing. I think some of the racists should go to her home town for a while, they don't have many white people over there, then they'd know how it fealt!

To answer the original question, we are a more diverse town since everyone is moving this way after 9/11, but there is quite a bit of racism here.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I grew up just outside of Toronto, and there was enough diversity that I think it was too hard for people to keep track of who to discriminate against. So things were generally pretty tolerant, and interesting. I don't see much overt racism now, but have seen a lot more of the 'I have many black friends, but . . . .' variety in the US. It does seem like more attention's given to skin color here. Then again, I also have estranged inlaws who'd hate if they knew that DH didn't marry a nice Jewish girl.

We are Caucasian live in a predominately Hispanic neighborhood. Our city is 80% Hispanic. The funniest thing is one of our neighbors, a Hispanic woman in her late 60's, is always complaining about the "Ghetto Mexicans" (her words - not mine) that have been moving into our neighboorhood. Everytime we get a new neighbor on our end of the street, she marches over and informs them of our unofficial neighborhood conduct ~ no loud music, no cars on the lawn, no house furniture in the front yard, keep your yard tidy, etc. She can't be more than 5' tall but if someone plays their music too loud, she marches right over and tells them to turn it down or she will call the police! Hehe - she used to call the police quite frequently on the house next door to us because of the loud music and they always told the cops it was us calling because they were Hispanic! A couple of times we weren't even home and they still blamed us.

Because we are white we are automatically preceived as rich - good thing they can't see our bank account 'cause, boy, would they be proven wrong! Both my kids were called names at their middle school for being white but they understood that the kids who called them names were ignorant to the fact that they were actually the minority in the US. Most of the name-calling kids have no experience outside of our city except to travel to Mexico to visit relatives so they really have no idea. Their middle school had 1580 students - 1530 Hispanic, 35 Caucasian, 7 Black and 8 Asian. I'll never forget my daughter coming home from her first day in high school and commenting on how the school was mostly Asian. When I looked up the ethnic makeup of the school I found out it was 80% Hispanic, 15% Asian, 4% White and 1% Other. But because she had never been around so many Asian kids, that was all she saw her first day. I'm happy to say that the kids at their high school do not see color. It is a college prep (public) high school so all the kids are just trying to get through their classes. Both of my kids hang out with mixed race groups. They are free to date and marry anyone that treats them right regardless of color or religion.

I used to work with a Kindergarten in Idaho. I'd say our town was about 95% Caucasian. One little girl came up to me and said that she wanted to know the new girl's name. This was the 1st week of school so for me they were all new. I asked her to point out who she was talking about and she pointed and said, "the girl with the purple flower-top". The girl in the purple-flower top was the only African American on the playground. Yet the little girl diffrenciated the other little girl by her shirt not her skin color. That was about 20 years ago and I remember it to this day.

Honestly, I don't think kids really pay attention to skin color until we, adults, point it out or if they do it's matter-of-factly -- as so many of these posts have shown.

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Mary

[quote=flipper113;2990643][quote=omahamom;2990459]



That is too funny! I think in kindergarten they don't even realize the differences, I never knew my son's best friend was black until we got out class pictures on picture day! He didn't know there was a difference so it never occurred to him to say anything.


Well, here they do. One of my good friends daughter was in kindergarten last year and she sometimes helped in class. She heard one group at a table tell a little white kid that she couldn't sit with them because it was a "brown" table. I guess it goes both ways sometimes.

Littlejo - that was HILARIOUS!!! I would love you guys and your friends!!!