OK, I know this is a hot topic, so I will try very hard to be subjective.

I went to my dr. last month to get a refill on my prescription. I got the bill yesterday, we were paid today. My co pay was $55.14. My dh is retired military so we have military insurance.

Last night, I was at a meeting in my ds's school. My "friend" ( really our son's are close, so we're chummy)..was there. Pregnant , 5 months I believe. She is not married to the baby's dad, but he IS in the picture.

I am getting to a point here, please be patient.

My pal works full time..not super great pay, but over min. wage. She has an older ds. Who's father pays child support.

Last night at the meeting, we had to fill out a form for a field trip we are taking to I'll say the Outer banks of NC..not the exact place, but I do not want to mention where we are heading.

On the form, we had to put down our insurance, in case of accident. I made the remark that I sure as heck did not feel like paying for an accident, my copays will add up. I looked over at my pal, and made the remark she can understand what I meant, I bet with a baby on the way, her copays will add up.

She replied that she was going to get a MEDICAID card now...she did not have to pay any copays at all. Her insurance paid 80%, M.CAid the rest.

This woman's older son has EVERY gaming system that is out..ALWAYS has the BEST, LATEST, most expensive video games out. Name brand high end clothes. Yes, I know this is from his dad's child support and yes , I understand CS is not counted as income..so she still may qualify for Medicaid. I kid you not, this boy brings $10 to school every single day..He does not like the school lunch.so he buys Wendys and chinese food for lunch EVERY DAY. He gets a new pair of eyeglasses EVERY YEAR from some state aid for glasses. I can't afford eyeglasses every year, I have to pay a $300 deductible..and I have MILITARY RETIRED insurance.

So, what GALLS me...she remarked that on the trip to Outer banks, which she is driving her own car at $3.75 a gallon since she does not have to be a chaperone on the trip. She is going there to hit the outlet shops to buy CLOTHING/SUPPLIES for her baby !

As a military wife, I ONLY could afford Goodwill clothing for my newborn...

I think that is wack.

Also, the lady next to me, who smokes cigarettes at $3.75 a pack..ALWAYS has a fast food bag in her hand, JUST "won" a disability lawsuit..she had a $300 purse, brand new clothes that when she sat down next to me just SMELLED brand new. Inside her brand new purse was a matching brand new wallet ( $150--I know this brand, it is high end )..

what is going on with this country ? I have $39 left after being paid TODAY to last until next payday. I have an 7 year old purse, 4 year old capris, and I am wondering where I will scrape the money together to use as spening money on this trip.

I feel working people are SCREWED.

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

Forgot to add, the father of the baby knows she is pregnant, I have seen him over her house. Buying take out pizzas. Why doesn't he pay the 20% ?

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

One more thing..they, the mom and ds..went to the Bahamas last year for vacation. Flew down to FL from WV. They are also going on another vacation in Aug..I think to visit family in NC...with gas being $3.75...

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

I will just say that I understand and feel the same way.

__________________
saraedawson@yahoo.com

Mommy to Jake, Alexis, Abigail and Joshua, Wife to Matt

I know just how you feel too!! The system is all screwed upand the working people that are just trying to make ends meet are the ones paying for it

__________________
Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

You know, I just thought of another thing. JUST last month she got a brand new convertible top , INSTALLED, with an electric defroster. Now, if you are that "poor"..how could you afford that ? She also had her hair professionally colored at the cost of a good $300 last month. I saw her at the mall and she told me. I wonder if she is not mentioning the daddy of the baby...maybe telling welfare she does not know who or where he is ? That is fraud . I have never been on medicaid, so I do not know what the "rules " are..but I think it is being misused. I also know of a young woman, living at home..in a $500,000 home ( no exaggeration )..who was on medicaid.

If your exdh sends enough money for child support for older ds..how come the ds is on a state's free eyeglass program ? & he does not get the $50 frames either, but the colorful designer frames. Free dental care too. I have to pay a $50 co pay for every cavity for my ds.

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

There are way too many people who know how to work the system and the government lets them do it. It's the honest, hardworking people who are consistently screwed over. I do believe there are people who truly need the system but they are few and far between IMO and from my experience. I see kids whose parents roll into school in a pimped out Escalade but the kids qualify for free lunch and school supplies. It's not right and I feel for you. It's like our country rewards you for being lazy and cheating the system. I know this does not apply to everyone but a fair amount.

__________________
Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

MY dh was in the Navy for 20 years. He would wake up at 4 am every day, drag himself to work, work for a GOOD 18 hours EVERY day..deployments, etc. I remember once having to spend $1,000 co pay with MILITARY insurance for using a civilian ER. I also had to buy cough med. at the cost of $80..and that was 12 years ago. This woman, she works from 7:30 to 4 ..weekends off. Her son is constantly on the go..movies, concerts, etc. I can't afford to drive to the next big city..and my dh gets military retirement...

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

That's it in a nutshell. It's how things look on paper, not real life.

On the reverse side, according to FAFSA our Parent Portion of my son's tuition to college for the year is $9,220. Because we only have him as a dependant. That means we have to pay $768 a month...are you kidding me? On paper it looks like we should be able to afford that kind of payment. No Way!

My son's buddy, who's mom works with my DH and who's dad is an accountant, is getting getting all kinds of financial aid for college because they have 5 children. (Ours is a one income family and we don't even qualify for the Pell Grant)

It's all about the paperwork and how your income in perceived.

__________________
Mary

This is why I get so frustrated about the CS my DH pays - his kids are very well off because of their mom's income and his CS, yet we scrape by!! Of course, technically we don't qualify for any government aid because it 'looks like' we make too much money!! There are definitely flaws in how calculations are done, no doubt about it!! My oldest DD's friends have cell phones, Wiis, and yet qualify for free lunch at school!!

__________________
Together They Fell
Together We Stand
Never Forget:
2/26/93
6/25/96
9/11/01
God Bless USA and our Troops!

On the topic of college and paying for it: we have a friend whose oldest DD went to college last year. On paper, they looked great so their DD didn't qualify for aide or anything BUT besides their kids, our friend pays for his mother's nursing home care and they don't have $$$ for college. His accountant told him to go out and buy a $40K truck or boat and take out a 2nd on his house....then his DD would probably qualify for a lower interest rate and/or aide. Uh, we will help those who have gotten themselves in their heads but not those who work hard not to be in that situation???? What's wrong with this picture? We should reward those who do the right thing...not punish them. It's like rewarding a child for bad behavior. How are they going to learn to be good kids if we reward them for being bad? Why should people who cheat the system change? They are rewarded for doing it. They know they would have to work twice as hard and get half as much if they got off the system. Gee....that doesn't sound fun does it?

__________________
Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I think if she isn't married then they don't even ask about "the Dad" for medicaid

Well maybe that's something to look into - because our house is paid off (we did it in 20 years instead of 30) it's considered and asset. Like we're going to sell our "asset" to pay for college....deep sigh.

Oh...and a good deal of our "disposable income" goes to help take care of my 72 yr old mother.

__________________
Mary

In responce to cubmom2's original comments - I agree...it ticks me off, no end, to see this happen. But until Congress does something to reform Medicaid, Welfare, etc. it's going to continue............forever.

__________________
Mary

Do not get me started on FASFA. I am paying $234 a month for my son to go to college. My sister has 2 kids in college and they go for FREE! My dh worked hard in the military. My sister was on welfare, food stamps, etc.

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

I think they should. If a male gets the female pregnant, has a job ( he does )..assumes the position as man of the house, etc. WHY doesn't he pay for the 20% ?

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

Because the system is F'd up (excuse my language) All she would have to do is say she doesn't know where the dad is, and it would cost more $$$$ to track him down than just pay-out.

__________________
Mary

my opinion doesn't matter usually, but i think people who are on medicaid, should be limited on how many kids,

some people play the system, and just keep having kids to get more money. never wanting to work.
Then there are people who really need it. But the people who abuse it , mess it up for the ones who really need it.
if they agree to go on medicaid, vasectomy's and get their tubes tied. after a certain amount of children.

In a certain way, I agree but it will never happen because we are a free country. Remember the woman who paid drug addicts to sterilize themselves? I applauded her but many thought that was just wrong.

I think the laws need to changed where if you are ON assistance, you WILL NOT get any additional money if you have more kids. If you are on assistance, you shouldn't be having more kids but as I said above, we reward them for being irresponsible

__________________
Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I would have a very hard time being friends with her. It would just tick me off to even look at her. We have a friend who just had a baby, and on the Birth Certificate claimed she didn't know who the father was. Yet, he was in the hospital photos, and had no problem telling the nurses he is the baby's father. WTF???

People (some, not all) have no self dignity, and are more than happy to have their hand out waiting for someone to fill it.

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

ITA. I think by remaining "friends" with people who you know are taking advantage of the system and in fact breaking the law you (the general you) are tacitly approving of their actions.

Oh how true that is, right now we are struggling to try to get help , this caseworker has me under mounds of paperwork that I have already given her 2-3 times the same stuff and it doesn't seem to be enough for her. For some reason she seems to think DH is receiving workers comp. that this was an on the job injury, we have told her over and over again its not and even human resources has told him no it wasnt workers comp. both verbally and in writing, but that he has a Short Term disability policy that may or may not pay and we are still waiting almost two months later to hear if we are getting a check, so far the claim is still under review because DH was put out on light duty and his boss wouldn't allow him to work, yet he could have worked parts of his job.

DH has a saying "Food Stamps, Medicaid Drive off in a Escalade" thats what we see around here and right now we're struggling I got my SSDI check and it covers only the household bills, nothing more, no food, no car payment, no insurance, no medications, no credit cards nothing but lot rent, mortgage, electric, gas, water and phone which is bundled with the TV and internet. We just turned in aluminum cans the neighbors and friends saved for us and filled up the car with gas, its ridiculous we just need a hand up right now nothing long term until DH is released from the Doctor to pursue a job and we are prety sure he has one already lined up.

It drives me nuts to see Military people who are struggling after giving our country so much time out of their lives and struggling and then see someone else living the high life off the Welfare system. I do know here in VA Child Support is counted towards income it is asked about in the Application they also ask if you pay child support to another household, I assume in that case you get a deduction of some sorts. DS gets 1/2 of what I Get for SSDI and it is counted towards my income even though SSA says specifically I am to use it towards his support. The system is odd and people abuse it and dont get caught. I reported my PT earnings from H&R BLock and they aren't even showing yet in the employment or SSA systems, but I have to get a letter proving I dont work there anymore and you dont know what the hassle is to get it since it isnt done locally, I cant get the worker to make one simple phone call to Human Resources to verify I am terminated, she wont do it and letters wont be released until After 5/8 and it will take 5-10 business days to get them out to us way past the deadline to when I need to get it i to my worker. They seem to make it hard for those os us who are honest I could have said nothing about working but 3 months from now they would have found out I had worked and then it would be off to jail with me. Something needs to be done to reform the system, they "reformed" it once but did a crappy job of it.

OP I feel your pain, if you think there is welfare fraud going on, there is I know a hotline in our state to report it and I am pretty sure in other states to there has to be and I am pretty sure you can remain anonymous.

As for the FAFSA man my foster sister feels your pain they did it all when her and her DH were making well over $130,000 a yr, he lost his job and now they make maybe $40,000 a yr but they are stuck paying the same amount until next school year something like $20,000 out of pocket for the first year of college for my nephew and $15,000 for my niece and they had to beg borrow and steal to make the payments.

__________________
~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

honestly, none of that is any of your business.

Are you kidding me. If its my tax money going to these peaple it is our business. When my kids were small and wanted 125 dollar sneakers I told them I couldnt afford them because I had to pay for the kids on welfare that have them. The goveerment allows this and they will never fix it because its too out of control. I could really get started on this subject so I`ll stop now. nancy

__________________

When you don`t know what to do-Walk fast and look worried.

I'm sensing a secondary username, and a possible flame war coming on.

I'd avoid this woman, but everything else has already been adequately said. As long as people are paying taxes, what those taxes go to IS their business.

I want to add, this friend of mine freely told me about her car being repaired, and her hair color job. I did not snoop or gossip it out of her. It is my business if I am paying her 20%.

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

i have 4 kids i have applyed for medicade for them they say we make to much in ga hey have low cost ga kid care so they sent me there i appleyed there and they said we do not make enough so we are them ones stuck in the middle...im not asking for money or food just health care they offer it at hubby work but they want to much for the 6 of us they want 1200 a month thats way to much thats a house payment and then some and i have a over active thyorid and have been dealing with this for 5 years i went from 115 pounds down 2 94 pounds and can not gain any weight and alot more that goes with that and heres nothing i can o im stuck in the middle

AMY- I am sorry to hear of your plight. It does seem this system is out of whack. Seems to me some can get it and others struggle. I hope the next president turns this around.

UPDATE: I spoke with dh , and I think I will call in an anon complaint to have them double check her out. She is really riding a high wave to receive public aid. I do not think if the state is paying your 20% , you should have a cell phone, new convertible top installed, trip 6 hours away that you are spending gas money on and then buy baby clothes at the outlets, etc.

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

She is probably paying with a credit card. You receive more offers and can get more credit cards if you have hardly any money. Crazy!

I think that you need to let it go and move on with your life. You can't make other people's decisions for them.

That is very true my SIL was a career welfare mom before she dropped dead of a drug overdose and she had all kinds of credit cards and credit card offers in her house when we cleaned it out. She left 3 little boys without parents since their fathers are deadbeats and somehow got thousands of dollars in debt in credit cards took us 2 years to sort through it all and find out which ones she smartly bought the credit life insurance on.

__________________
~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

I agree - she's probably getting it all with credit cards.

She obviously doesn't have an income source that would support the lifestyle you are describing. She probably legitimately *does* qualify for the government programs she's on based on income.

Whether she *should* or not is a different story altogether... just saying that the *stuff* she has is no indication of how much *money* she possesses.

Even her cell phone is probably paid with a cc each month. She probably makes minimum payments and even then may be behind on them.

If she had another revenue source she wouldn't qualify for the aid, so the only explanation is credit/debt. And likely, she'll have to pay the piper there one day. There will probably come a time when she won't be able to get another cc and they'll repo her car.

I'll 2nd this too. It's totally my business when it's my tax $$$ but that's a whole 'nother conversation

__________________
Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

"Because the system is F'd up (excuse my language)" My response exactly. Try listening to the welfare sl*t next door complain because of some lame excuse. yet which of us rides the bus to work and works hard 8 hours a day? Glad I could prvide tzx moeny so she cans tay home while I sturggle to pay for 2 sick people. But yet I don't qualify for any help.

__________________
Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

In PA if your not married but living with the baby's father, they still consider his money yours and it gets all added up as to what your entitled to. I don't know how other states handle it though.

I used to work in an urgent care center and a lot of lower income people would come in. Their kids were always dressed in the TOP name brand clothes, sneakers, they had the acrylic nails and the whole 9 yards.

My best friend was a RN there too and we were both pregnant with our 4th kid, working 12 hour shifts and our kids wore decent clean clothes and they did nothing and were living the good life. Somehow our counrty is totally messed up. I do not think that there is a solution but it is awful the way the system works.

I know here in VA that WIC considers income of the baby's father and any and all household members like those who may live with their parents even though they are over 18. I think but am not sure about whether they do for Food Stamps and Medicaid, but I am pretty sure they do, but people lie all the time about it, I know a girl who collected benefits for her 4 kids for years and was married to her husband and he was living in the house but she told them she didn't know where he was, I reported her and I know her world went tumbling down because they made a home visit one day and there he was and all his stuff was there.

__________________
~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

itscc2u- Imagine if all the caseworkers actually took the time to check out all the people on welfare? Maybe then we would actually have some money for ourselves instead of it going to other people who "need" it!

WIC, welfare, food stamps, free lunch program, all offered with little to no verification of income/assets. (you live with your parents, they just have to write a note saying you do not eat together and you get food stamps.)

Remember which party supports these types of programs when you go to the polls.

Oh, and what about the pell grants that go to students who fail a class over and over.

Or the free child care provided to these students who continue to use it even though they stopped going to class after the second week.

__________________
Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

Tessa~ Here I have to submit all kinds of paperwork to get Free or even reduced lunch and yes people skirt the system and lie. Right now I have had to give this worker everything but DNA for my Food Stamp and Medicaid Application and I am about ready to tell them screw it give it to my neighbor with the Escalade they obviously need it worse than me. Its hard for people like me who are honest and willing to open their lives up to get a small hand up when you need it but yet others can go on and lie for years and until someone makes the call and its taken seriously enough to investigate. I have a temporary situation that will remedy itself (I hope) once DH is released from the Doctor to pursue looking for a new and much better job than he had before.

I never knew that about Pell Grants going to those who continually fail,our tax dollars at work thats for sure

__________________
~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

I know the system is screwed up I was at a gas station tonight behind a lady who was using a food stamp card to buy a bunch of red bulls umm those are $8 for 4 of them & this is a bad neighborhood mind you she had left an infant in the car & then leaving gets on her cell must be rough I have never been on foodstamps & could never afford a cell oh yes & she had out of state plates too & left going to the other state umm so how does she get foodstamps in my state I have no clue!!! But umm I been poor too I sure didnt buy redbull oh ya maybe its cause I could never get foodstamps I was too stupid I guess I worked instead

__________________
mom of 3 greats girls

food stamps are federal not state so they can be used in all states

While I applaud your desire to turn in a welfare cheat, I'm disgusted by your 'anon complaint'. Don't you have any guts? Hiding behing an anonymous phone call? Instead of being a straight up person, you'll pretend to be her friend while you damage her behind her back. That's wimpy and repulsive. I would NEVER hide my identity and make an anonymous complaint. I'd take full credit for my remarks and stand behind them. Why don't you do the same? If you've got something to say, just say it.

First of all, I do not "pretend to be her friend". She is the mom of my SON's friend. so I am friendly to her, not her BFF. My "friendship" to her is limited to saying hi when I see her at the meetings...or waving as we pass by in our cars.
I do not want my son to be hurt in this..I do not want her son to take revenge on my son. He is innocent. I believe the hot line for abuse are set up to be anon anyway. I am not hiding behind a anon phone call either. Who knows what the boyfriend of her may do to me ? I am a single woman living alone. I do not need my house egged, sugar in my gas tank, or worse.

__________________
Live, Love, Laugh

When I got divorced from my first dh, I had to go on welfare to support myself and two kids. I never received any amount of child support except for $700 TOTAL during the entire time I was raising my boys (I divorced him when they were 5 and 3).

I lived hand to mouth, day by day, never knowing what or how I was going to pay for what was needed. Extras? Forget it.

What I am saying is, that it may appear that some on welfare are doing much better than you are, but my view is this:

I have never lived such a good life, monetarily, as what I have had since having a full time job, working hard and paying for everything.

When I got handouts, I remember life being nothing but a day to day struggle.

REPORT her any which way you decide. People like that need to learn a lesson. And sometimes people do have hard times. We have sometimes bounced around from government aid. Would any of your income be coming in cash and you don't have to report it A few little white lies may help for a while so you can blow off some steam.