Let's just say that my perfect day would not include spending it with my Mother In Law.


Rebecca

I love my MIL but my mother also lives nearby and my DB and DS live out of state so guess who has to do all of the work. I have to somehow travel to MIL's house and give my mother what ever it is that she needs (normally really expensive). I have learned to really hate Mother's day because it involves so much work for me ( I am a mother too). I think I should try to implement some "faux" Mother's day weekends so that everyone gets a fun time including myself. Maybe one week before for one mom and the week after for the other mom.

Guess I shouldn't complain, some people would give their right arm to be able to spend time with their mothers. I guess the grass is always greener.

We live near ZERO family members, so I would love to spend Mother's Day with my MIL if I had the chance. But I also have a great relationship with my MIL, so I don't have any hang ups when it comes to in-laws.

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My MIL is dead. We've never really made a big deal about Mother's Day... I don't remember doing so as a kid either?

I love my MIL but it just gets old when you have to run to this house and that house to celebrate, just like christmas and thanksgiving.

Oh well I guess its just what we have to do.

Renee

All of our extended family lives at a minimum of 6 hours away from us and so we're on our own...

Honestly, we'll be calling both of the grandmas and that will be it and they are happy with it and are always happy to get a phone call from us.

I'll be happy with a phone call from my boys when they are grown as well.

We don't talk often on the phone so phone calls are very special.

Yes & no.

All I do is send my mom a card. My parents are not "into" the holidays, so they don't make any big deal out of them.

The Inlaws on the other hand, make a big deal out of every holiday. So, my answer of yes & no is because while I get tired of buying her a gift every year and having to go over there, FIL does a big dinner. There are 4 on DH side, and the moms don't have to pitch in at all. The guys do dishes and everything, so that's fun. But, it would be nice to stay home with my family and go out to dinner with my DH & kids.

It's the same for every holiday. We never get to stay home. We always have to got over the the inlaws side for everything. They don't get the fact that we have kids and would like to STAY HOME!

We all get along great and they're involved with the kids, so I am blessed for that.

Lisa

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I used to, but, now....no. I have learned to let a lot of things "go".

I don't like making such a big deal out of Mother's Day. I think it's a great idea, but, I want to be appreciated every day, not just one day when some card company thinks we MUST. I hate going out to eat on that day, too. All holidays really....it's just so crowded and commercial, I just don't like that part of it.

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In a word, NO! We go over there, Hubby BBQs and I end up making all the side dishes. MIL truly takes Mother's Day for all it's worth, she does not lift a finger to do anything. My kids are great with all the clean up! I'm still waiting to have "my own" Mother's Day.

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Mary

I love my MIL and she loves to cook My sister, my mom and i do dinner on Saturday, then we do my inlaws on Sunday for dinner. My MIL birthday is the 9th so we combine the two. Its worked good so far.

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"Never loan your car to someone you have given birth too"

ditto. I adore my MIL.

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no, my mil lives 20 hours away. my mom passed away 5 years ago. I sent my grandmother a card and my boys sent her a great grandmother card, and then they sent one to mil but that's about all we do. Dh buys me some roses every year even though I tell him not to, hate wasting that money on something that's just going to die but it's something he wants to do, I'd rather have a better graphics card for my pc lol

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I do not really care for my MIL sometimes
I do have respect for her because without her I wouldn't have My Husband
My mom died 9 years ago when I was 20 so I would love to be able to spend mothers day with her
my husband will probably go see his mom but I won't
Suzanne

My DH told me that he was taking his mother and me out to dinner and for me to pick the restaurant - wherever I wanted to go. So I am trying to think of a place that both of us would like. The problem is that she is picky and likes "plain" food and I am adventurous and like to try new stuff. I have no interest in going out to eat for ham, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls ,etc. and other bland food at the local diner or family restaurant - ick. I would rather have Greek food, Cajun food, etc. - something I would not cook at home. I also didn't want to go to one of the same old restaurants that we go to all of the time. I picked a restaurant I thought would be good that had a nice mixture of plain and Cajun food - everything from prime rib to chicken fried steak to Shrimp Creole and Blackened Redfish - it also has a nice atmosphere - in a historical hotel near the river. I told DH I had made reservations and he said he thought the food would be too spicy for his picky mother. There were plenty of other choices besides spicy food but he said he didn't think she would like that restaurant. I wasn't happy with him - he did tell me to pick. So back to the drawing board - I find another restaurant that serves steak and seafood that looked like it would be nice - called to make reservations and found out they were not open on Sunday. Then I finally find another restaurant that says it serves Southern European Cuisine -so lots of pasta and also steak, chicken and lamb. They have a very large and varied menu so I figured she could find something on there she would like. I made reservations and that was that - just told DH where I made reservations. It took me two hours of looking and calling to find a suitable restaurant and I was too tired to look any further.

I feel honored to spend Mother's Day with my MIL. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have my DH and be a mother myself.

Selena

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I would like to get to the point where I like being around my Mother In Law. Maybe I will repeat selenav's statement in my head this weekend (several hundred times). Do you think that would help?

Rebecca

You are a bigger and better woman than I am. My husband's family is not close at all unlike my big Italian family. If my Mom were near there's no doubt we would spend at least part of Mother's Day there and it would be with my pleasure. But my Mom lives 650 miles away. MIL lives two hours away but is not very inviting or inclusive with me. For one thing I don't eat meat and every single time she makes a big roast or beef stew or something and I am left to eat the side dishes that don't contain pork or fat or chicken broth or bacon. Last time there was a frozen veggie dinner for me in the freezer. Oh boy.

We are going to see David Cassidy tonight and spend the night at Best Western for my Mother's Day. I hate to sound like a bitch but she can have her Mother's Day with someone she is nice to.

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My MIL was very cruel to me when DH and I first married 19 years ago. It took about 5 years for me to find my backbone and quit putting up with it. For years I never said anything to DH. It wasn't until my 3rd or 4th Mother's Day that I finally decided it was MY day too and refused to go and see her. So DH buys his mother a card and stops by and sees her on his own on Mother's Day. The rest of the year I have no problems stopping by with DH to visit.

Going out on that day for dinner is, IMO, no fun anyway. We usually do a dinner several days before or after. Pick a weekend day the week before or the week after to stay home and celebrate the day with your gang. There's no rule that you have to do yours on the actual day and you can make up a name for it like "Mom's Mommy's Day" and designate it for a yearly time together. Make your own traditions and they will be all the more special.

Why don't you host the dinner. Then you can fix what you will eat. Or take a meal with you when you go. I think she should make an effort to please you but since she doesn't, just take your own food. You can't expect them to change they way they've eaten all their lives because you don't do it that way. I think it was something that she thought to have a veggie dinner in the freezer for you. It's hard enough to come up with a menu for a group of people with varying tastes and demands, particularly when you have cooked a certain way all of your life. Explain that you realize that your diet is not something she is used to and that you will be bringing something to eat so that she doesn't have to worry about you. And if its something you think others would like, offer to bring enough for everyone to try. Maybe you can convert a few people in the process.

I don't like my mil but I try to be nice for my husbands sake. I know that she knows that she is not my favorite person.

I wish my MIL and my Mother were still here to spend the day with.

I would be happy to make the meal for us all.