The Duggar family post earlier on got me to thinking. My baby is in daycare, but only as a last resort. We kept him out until he was at least a year old. That was all of us juggling, my daughters, his Daddy, everyone involved, I am a nurse, and I work 12 hour shifts. That puts me working 3 days a week. Those are the only days he goes. We make sure he goes as late as possible, and pick him up as early as possible. Just wanted to let everyone know that just because kids are in daycare, doesn't mean their parents are just throwing them away. My life revolves around my baby, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If I'm not at work, my angel baby is with me.

My dd works in a daycare center. She does a great job. Many parents have to work to survive. She has some who come to daycare but mom does not work. Those are the ones I question.

Anyone who thinks a parent who uses daycare is not raising their children is sorely misinformed. here are plenty of people who stay at home that dont raise their own kids, the kids raise themselves. I dont use daycare now, as we are able to juggle two careers, but the boys will be attending day camp this summer, and attended daycare in the past. I dont think you can tell me anyone spends more time with their children than my DH and myself. I can see this firsthand, as I live in a neighborhood of SAH's. My kids go fishing with mom and dad whenever the mood strikes us, my kids bake bread. I play baseball (with them of course), we camp every other weekend and take several long vacations annually in our rv. We got out at night with flashlights looking for nightcrawlers for fishing. I dont send them outside to play alone, I (or DH)play with them. They help me bring in and distribute the laundry. This past week, we have been busy expanding our garden (we had a truckload of topsoil delivered), and the boys are helping us (without being asked) with that, and they are helping to pick out some of the vegetables. I was making dinner last night, and you could see three hatted heads working in the garden (DH and the little guys). So cute, I took a pic.
edited to add...
I dont know why so many people, mostly women, have to bash each others choices, especially when you dont know all the facts. When I get those emails of where the husband switches places with the wife and is surprised by the amt of work she does, I laugh. The whole first part of that is running errands, which most working poeple would never waste a half day on, we would do it on our breaks, on the way home from work etc. I do all those things and more, and work.
Everyone has different parenting styles, and some are good parents and some are bad. I dont think the daycare issue has anything to do with that.
Everyone has a right to live their own life, and as long as no one is in danger, I think we should MYOB.

What ever you read on these boards you can never take personally. It is just an opionated board. I am a stay at home mom, we have really sacrificed for me to be this. I certainly don't frown upon parents who take theier kids to daycare whether it be for survival or preference. I have a neighbor who says she would hate being around her children all day. I would rather her put her kids in daycare so she doesn't blow a fuse and accidently mistreat them. I have moms I know that take them to day care because they are a single family with the father nowhere to be found. I truly feel I am just lucky because my hubby and I are still a family, he has good insurance so I don't have to find a job that has it and we had no money to begin with so it was'nt hard to live without..

I totally concur with these three points/observations, especially the first one. Women are constantly bashing each other, instead of holding each other up....I don't understnad it....

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

<<<<<I don't know how people can blast parents who rely on the family to chip in to help caring for kids. And I can't help but think the Duggars are "raising" their children in a more hands on way than many people (not all) who use day care. >>>>>

The comment above was mine from the other "Duggars" post. In that context, I was comparing a large home-schooling family whose parents are being criticized for not "raising" their families to those whose parents share the child-care responsibilities with day care settings.

My opinion that Mrs. Duggar is absolutely a hands-on parent 24/7 is what I was attempting to convey. I don't necessarily think that her kids are better off for their arrangement, but I certainly don't think they are worse off than many of the arrangements (such as day care) that are so common in today's society.

I didn't mean for my comment to imply that the majority of parents who use day care aren't doing their best to raise their children. I also don't believe that all at-home-moms are doing best by their kids. It's not that kind of "all or nothing" issue.

I believe many children are better off, and more well-rounded thanks to excellent day care experiences, and there is no 'right' or 'wrong' plan for raising a family as long as it is what is best for that family's needs.

To me, day care, homeschooling, and oldest-helping-youngest family choices are not WRONG. It seems strange to judge any of these plans as right or wrong. If parents are doing their best, and their children are loved and well-adjusted, it's all any of us should use as a measure to judge.

I think the Duggars are probably doing an excellent job raising their family. I also think most of the moms here that use daycares are doing an excellent job. I wish my post didn't come across as implying that one way of parenting was better than the other - especially since I was trying to make the opposite point - who are we to judge the Duggars or anyone, if they are doing their best?

Ballmom, I'm sorry if my comment seemed like a criticism directed at any mom who uses daycare. I think you're a GREAT mom.

Wow Brenda! Well said!

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

I don't think that just because a person puts their child in day care it makes them a bad parent, or that someone else is "raising their child". I didn't read the other posts in the thread, so I may be way off in what I say, but, what else is new, huh???

I would think it would be better for a child to be in daycare then left home alone. I have a neighbor who lets her son, 2nd grade, walk home from the bus (passing by the home of a child molester-one that SHE-the mom- made a point of going door to door on Valentine's Day distributing flyers about, to try and get us all up in arms about) by himself, and stay at home, again by himself, until the parents get home, around dinner time. So, that is 3 hours, at least, unsupervised.

Some people DO need a break from their kids, and don't work and still take their kids to day care. When my kids were younger, we called it Pre-School......2 or 3 days a week. They had a BLAST.....painting, coloring, interacting with other kids, etc.

I do think, ideally, children should have one parent that stays home with them, either thru altered work schedules or just doesn't work at all. Many people, Moms and Dads, give up their jobs to stay at home with their children. Some people, have no choice but to work. Some even have to leave for weeks at a time. Think of our military men and women. They don't work a 9-5 job. The single ones or the dual military career couples, MUST have someone else raise their child(ren) if they both get deployed at the same time, or overlapping times. Sometimes, spouses don't live together geographically, for whatever reason.

I had a friend (notice I said HAD) who would ask me how I could let me DD play with this other girl on our street. Her Mother is so nosey, and the girl runs the streets unsupervised, on and on and on. Of course this woman and her children walked on water, don't ya know <<<EYE ROLL>>>. I told her, I let my DD play with her because she's a nice girl, and maybe, just maybe, DD or my family will be a positive influence on her, and some day she will look back and say "hey, they really helped me become the person I am today". Many times we fed her dinner, lunch, took her places, etc. The Mom would say "oh, can I let her play at your house, I just need to run an errand up the street....." four hours later, she was still there. This was a SAHM, yet, everyone else seemed to spend more time with her DD than her. Some day care would have benefited her.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

My grandson is in daycare and he NEEDS to be there. He needs a structured environment as he is very strong willed and sometimes has a hard time focusing. He is a sweet, smart child who just needs more help than others at times. He is in a small daycare and is doing better and better all of the time. He will be ready for kidergarten this fall and should get along well, but probably would not if he had stayed at home. He is very much loved at home and is well taken care of and the family does just about everything together. Both parents work, but if they have a day off and are at home, they keep him home as well.

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

I think the right daycare can be great. It helps the kids learn social skills they might not get otherwise and it gives them opportunities for learning and playtime that often are missing where there are no siblings of the right age, or kids in the neighborhood.

I'm not totally comfortable about daycare for really small kids if it can be avoided. They should be able to communicate about their day with you. But sometimes, as a parent, you just have to do what you have to do.