DRIVING ME CRAZY !!!!!

He is doing really well on recovery, the first night home he went for a walk. He has cut his pain meds down from 6-8 a day before surgery to 2-3 a day after surgery. He keeps wanting to do all this stuff he isnt supposed to like we went to Petsmart for cat litter and he is restricted to lifting nothing heavier than a gallon of milk he tried to pick up a 27 lb box of cat litter... I hit him with my cane when he tried that. Bless little Stefan's heart he picked up the 27 lb box of litter, he maybe tiny at 55 lbs but he got that box up and into the cart with no effort and he brought it into the house.

He cant get comfortable sleeping with the collar on except on the floor so he has been sleeping on the living room floor much to the cats amazement because their night-time "runway" is blocked by this body now. I feel bad for him but hey if it means he sleeps I am all for it.

So far DH has tried to paint the kitchen, move the couch and help a neighbor put up some wood paneling and I have had to yell at him to get him to stop. Its obvious the severe pain he had before is gone thankfully and he is well on his way to recovery but he has to stop trying to be superman and do things he isn't supposed to do !!

Also we finally got a check from the Short-Term disability, we called to find out where to return the two weeks they paid for after DH was terminated from his job and we were told it doesn't matter if he was terminated he was approved for disability prior to termination and if this goes past the 13 weeks he will still be eligible for Long Term disability because at the time of termination he was considered disabled. You guys don't know how much stress was brought off my shoulders after hearing that from 3 separate people at the insurance company. Its not much $259 a week but its something.

While I started to lose my faith in prayers etc, My faith has been restored because of so many amazing miracles that have happened since I got so upset over everything and the outpouring of help spiritually and physically (food, $$ etc) has been overwhelming. I know a lot of you have been a big part of the prayers and helping me with ideas on what to do. Thank you all again I dont know how to ever repay you all for this.

I better go he just went out the door with the saw in his hand I fear for what he might be trying to do so gonna chase him down and if need be pop him with my cane.

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~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

I don't understand why your DH is so hell-bent on sabatoging his recovery I expect to read a post from you VERY soon about how he is back in the hospital because he screwed up so badly by not following the doctors' orders.

"helping a neighbor put up some wood paneling"??? Are you kidding me?? How is that important enough to endanger his health?

If that were my DH, I would be beyond livid. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you to have to expend your energy trying to keep him from hurting himself and landing back in the hospital -- probably with irrevocable, permanent damage.

OP that is alarming not just for his health but your dh is also on disability and FMLA from work...

Not only is he risking his health and well being, but remind your dh he is also risking the livelihood of his whole family.

If his boss, coworkers etc see him putting up paneling, painting the house, carrying heavy bags of stuff etc while on disability...he could lose his job, he could lose disability payments, even possibly could be charged with insurance fraud. (Ever seen those really tasteless tv shows with hidden video on someone who was collecting disability, being videotaped working on their roof etc)? Good luck to you and I hope you can talk some sense into him. It's great that he feels better after the surgery, I mean maybe he can go back to work soon, but right now he really needs to rest and not exert himself. Good luck

It is so good to see that your husband is on his way to a speedy recovery! He will probably forget now and then about the restricitions, but that's par for the course. Thanks for sharing the update with us.

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We're off to never never land

Carol he isnt on FMLA anymore they fired him while out on it because he brought the company truck home which had all his personal tools on it said it was against the rules, well he got to just below the VP of the company and they re-instated him long enough for the health insurance to pay for the surgery and there are some additional investigations being done because of things DH told them.

I can talk to him until I am blue in the face about things and he wont listen he knows everything did you know that ? Like the smoking thing and the fact he had breathing problems during and after surgery due to his COPD/Emphysema guess who is smoking like a smokestack again he is I figure he is walking to Walmart to get the cigarettes I have hidden all the money and taken all his credit cards away so he has no way to get them now. I just think he is getting stir-crazy Heck when I was on disability in 1995 from work I was stir-crazy went back to work and that started a 3 yr downfall with my health and ultimately leading to my being on SSDI. I keep telling him its nice sit on the deck help me go through these boxes of paperwork and shred them or sort them for me to scan and he wants none of it. I fully expect his neurosurgeon to jump on him Weds when I rat him out, trust me I intend to, I had this surgery in 2002 and I know what I went through and I had tougher restrictions and I cant see how he could feel well enough to do any of what he has tried to do and I have nipped it in the bud him not doing it. My neighbor wasnt too happy when I told him he would not be helping with the wood paneling but he was more than welcome to use DH's brain to help out.

Its hard for me to do certain things, but I have taken up a lot of the stuff he used to do like the trash, mowing the lawn and other misc things its hard on me, but I am doing it because I know Stefan cant or wont do it, Stefan does not do litterboxes anymore.

I gave DH the insurance lecture and he is on the couch pouting and mumbling nasty things under his breathe about if I dont do it who will. well what in the heck he is talking about I dont know the most I have asked of him is to help with folding laundry and putting his stuff away for a change. sheesh men !!

I fully expect if he misbehaves he will end up in the Hospital and he might end up there with my cane firmly positioned in his backside.

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~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

His pain may be less than pre-surgery NOW but if he keeps up with all this lifting and working, he'll be worse off than before his surgery. I know sometimes it's hard to rest, relax and just take it easy but he needs to use common sense.
I know you can talk and yell and stay on his case and he'll do what he wants but really he could be bringing unnecessary problems to himself and thus to you also.

It's really hard to keep them down once they start feeling better after surgery! We just went through this with my 12 year old who had to have her appendix out about 8 weeks ago. It was right in the middle of softball season, she missed the first 5 games (sat the bench) and sat the bench at practice 2 X a week and missed pitching practice for 6 weeks, no swimming (we have an inground pool so this is a real sore spot for her) no PE at school, she couldn't try out for cheer leader it just goes on and on the amount of stuff she had to give up. The person/people who get the brunt of the complaining are those that are the closest to them and trying to keep them safe and that would be us, the ones that care about them. We are the ones who get to witness the pouting, the crying, the frustration of not being able to do what you want to do once they start feeling better. It takes alot of patience on our part to deal with this in a "civil" manner. The doctor told us that if she played softball, pitched any other stressful activity she could develop a hernia, then would have to have more surgery. Fortunately this is over for us and she is back at all the activities, and things are back to normal now, thank goodness. Those 6 weeks were really hard on all of us, but at least she was able to understand what was going on, I can't imagine having a younger child who doesn't understand, or having an adult who doesn't really have to listen to what I say, being a child she was easier to control than an adult would be. I'm sorry you are going through this!

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Christine good luck to you, I have a stubborn dh too, who never likes to take it easy and is always going around working on something...I totally understand what you mean about talking to someone til they are blue in the face and they just won't listen! Yep, I got that tshirt lol

I misunderstood about the job, I thought your dh got fired but thought he got his job back/got approved for FMLA or disability..anyway it's good that he got insurance to cover the operation. good luck and hope he has a good recovery!

Carol even I misunderstood the getting his job back thing, they re-instated him long enough to keep health insurance to cover the surgery and recovery period until the end of the 12 weeks of FMLA. So he is kind of on FMLA but not really if that makes sense.They sent us a letter about his status etc and it basically says he has no job to go back to at all and He wouldn't go back even if asked or given a decent raise he wont work for this community manager again, The company elsewhere maybe. We think after they investigated some things and of which there is still investigations going on they realized that DH wasn't exactly wrong but not exactly right about bringing the company truck home to get his tools home, which we still have a lot down in the maintenance shed and they have locked us out of the storage lot where the shed is deleted our entry code and I pay for a storage space there each month. We'll deal with that after I pay lot rent and storage next month when I have some help here at home, Oldest DS is supposed to be coming from CO to visit for two weeks and I will be putting him to work.

DH turned down thankfully 2 siding jobs, it would probably be 4-5 weeks before the supplies came in, but we don't know what will happen in the next week let alone a month from now, that was $2000 down the drain and given to someone else who may charge more, but I think DH finally understood my point about things. I know its killing him and I hope he realizes now how come I go stir crazy at home, its been 10 yrs now since I went out on disability and I keep telling him he can handle 3-4 months.

I think this surgery was long overdue and probably should have happened last year when he went out with the same thing, but some Doctors are not surgery crazy. I am praying that the one possible job lead works out because it is higher pay and he wouldn't have to work outside in the elements anymore and actually less stress on his body.

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~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy