My nephew and his wife were at one time great friends of ours. They lived next door to us and we shared many weekends and nights together. Last August, I found SO lying to me about something because my nephew could not tell his wife the truth about it so he dragged SO in to the lie also. (They were afraid I would have told newphews wife and that would have been bad) Well I found out about the lie and told anyhow. It caused a HUGE fight and I have barely said 2 words to them since. I did send a letter apologizing after the incident however things were never more then a hello. SO and nephew have stayed friends, which I do not mind at all...

Well his mom passed away suddenly yesterday. The wake is tomorrow and I have every intention on going because I am friends with and close to the rest of the family. My issue is with nephews wife. How should I approach her? Or what do I say?? I have written her a letter expressing my deepest sympathy to her. I want to reach out to her but do not really know how. It is killing me because I know that this has left them in a very bd siutation. Their house was foreclosed on and they were living with nephews mom. Well she had no insurance so state medicaid wants to take the house. Once again this family will be without a home... or a mom..
My heart is breaking over this...
What would you guys do??

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GO TONY!!!!!!!!!!! # 20!!!

I would approach the couple and offer any kind of support you are able to offer, and leave it at that. You have already apologized for the incident. Time heals pain, and petty things can be overlooked.

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We're off to never never land

You have previously extended the olive branch. I would offer my condolences at the service, as hueston said, and tell them to call if you can help in anyway. I might then follow up with a card reiterating my offer of assistance. After that, the ball is really in their court.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

Talk to them and tell them again that you are sorry about the "incident".
Tell them that you would like to have things get back to where they were before.
Remind them just how much love, fun and friendship you are all missing. Tell thm how much you miss the relationship. Ask them what you can do to repair things and also give them a hand with some of their new problems.

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

First of all, what do you want to "give" them....sympathy, money, a place to live, advice? You can't offer people a blanket, "Oo-anything you need, just ask me". Well, I need a place to live and groceeries for a month, the dog hasn't had her shots, and well, Marcie needs to see an Orthodontist. See what I mean? Keep it simple. Here is a check for xxx, I can help you pack when the time comes, I can babysit your kid/s if you need time to take care of business. Offer what you can and want to offer.

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Lyn Clarke

You've sent a long sympathy letter so unless you're willing to offer material help for their financial problems, I'd leave it at that. They might or might not have forgiven you for what happened last year. You made a gesture and the ball's in their court now. You'll be able to tell where you stand when you see them at the wake. I would walk up to them and simply offer my sympathy on their loss. The next move (if there is one) would be up to them.

I completely disagree! This is a wake and it's not the time or place to talk about what the OP wants. What if THEY don't want to reconcile with her? By saying all that, the OP would have put the mourners in a socially awkward position if they don't want to be friends. It's in bad taste to cause the grieving family any discomfort or put them on the spot at their loved one's wake. If the OP wants to reconcile, she should write them a letter or make a phone call but don't make an issue of past grievences at the wake itself. Keep old arguments separate unless they bring up the subject of making up.