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The Cafe - 'TC' So? Your daughter wants her belly pierced? Your cat keeps using the couch as a litter box? Your husband taped the Hockey game over your wedding video? Your neighbor has a gnome collection and it makes you mad? Pour yourself a cup of coffee and come on in to The Café! Talk amongst yourselves...discuss, question, reply, or respond to many subjects!

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Old 05-30-2008, 03:30 AM
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Kids And Free Lunches

I have on my flame suit and inviting everyone to jump onboard. I was just watching Wed.'s Today show. They had a piece on children and hunger. Apparently, principals have picked up on kids sneaking home their lunches to eat later, not only for themselves, but for other siblings too. I'm sorry, but in this land of plenty, this is just unacceptable. I am shocked. I know that we had a thread previously about free lunches, whatever. Does anyone accept the fact that kids are trying to be rational, and decide if they would rather eat early in the day or later, or even have to worry about how their brothers and sisters would eat? Am I the only one that this seems so wrong, on so many levels?? I know people talk about wanting to cut the fat, etc... but why in the world, with all the crazy govt. spending, retirement, would anyone EVER suggest cutting school funding?? I am really just sick. It's not kids fault if their parents are crackheads, get food stamps and sell them, etc. I am sick of people wanting to cut the very programs that help our kids, THEY CAN'T GO OUT AND GET A JOB!! Hello, they are defenseless!! I don't care if their parents drive Lamborghinis, if they refuse to buy their kids food, let our govt. help!! They have so many programs that are absolutely ridiculous! Cut them!!
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:07 AM
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Not everyone on free lunch is a crackhead, selling food stamps, or living high on the hog while claiming not to. In today's America, many are hard working people who simply do not make enough anymore to make ends meet. People would rather assume that isn't the case though, b/c it's so easy to point the finger at others they know nothing about.
However, in today's economy, we have what's being called the working poor. Parents who work hard but can't make enough to pay for food, electricity, rent, childcare, gas, insurance, clothing, water, etc because prices are just through the roof.

Working poor struggle to get by | Philadelphia Inquirer | 04/08/2008
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:32 AM
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Are they cutting spending for the FREE Lunch program or across the board? I know here, we have had many cuts in the educational funding. Personally, I think they got a little too glutenous (sp?) when real estate was so high, hence taxes were higher. I would love to see Gov't spending cut in frivilous areas, too.

I don't see anything wrong with kids bringing home some of their school lunch, except if they forget it in the class, then there could be a bug or rodent situation, I guess.
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:33 AM
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Originally Posted by ballmom View Post
I have on my flame suit and inviting everyone to jump onboard. I was just watching Wed.'s Today show. They had a piece on children and hunger. Apparently, principals have picked up on kids sneaking home their lunches to eat later, not only for themselves, but for other siblings too. I'm sorry, but in this land of plenty, this is just unacceptable. I am shocked.
OK, I just had to edit my entire post because I completely misread what you'd written.

I agree with you completely. Kids should never suffer just because their parents are idiots, have hit hard times, or are otherwise unable to provide.

The notion of kids depriving themselves of lunch in order to share with their siblings is heartbreaking.
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:34 AM
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I am afraid it is only going to get worst.
Estimates are 28 million people will receive food stamps this year. (most ever). Food banks are short on donations, because more people are coming in to see if they have anything.

Also, some school districts are looking to going to a 4 day school week (longer hours but a day shorter) because of raising energy/gas prices. Which, will probably bring more added problems to families, daycare, no free lunch for that day.
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Old 05-30-2008, 07:42 AM
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They should be ashamed of themselves from wanting to cut back on lunch programs. I know a lot of people disagree, from the last thread about free lunch. But wanting to cut back the program because kids are trying to save their food for later to feed themselves or siblings? Come on!! I think those who are in favor of it need to head down the Yellow Brick Road to fetch a heart.

DS school has a great program, they call it the "Kiddie Pantry" where kids (low income) are allowed to shop in the pantry 1o minutes on Friday every week. They ask for donations (sent on Thursday), which they always get plenty, of food items that are easy to make, for kids. I normally send in peanut butter, jelly, bread, easy mac, crackers, juice boxes, cans of soup, hot dogs, bags of apples and snack items. When we first moved here I thought it was an odd program, but I have grown to love it. I love that the school administration and community cares for these kids outside the school.
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Old 05-30-2008, 08:06 AM
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It is a shame that the US spends so much on other countries in food aid, money for AIDS in Africa, emergency aid to places like Myanmar, these are just a few examples, but we can't take care of our own. I am not saying that these other things are not worthy things to contribute to, but I think we should take care of our own people first. Hunger has ALWAYS been a problem in this country, it is nothing new. I imagine that it has to be getting worse though with the high gas prices and high food prices, it makes it harder on everyone, but especially on low income people.
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Old 05-30-2008, 08:46 AM
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I remember being in school decades ago, and a little boy used to collect the other kids' unwanted solo cups of cole slaw. He really hit the jackpot on cole slaw days, since it was so unpopular. I remember he could fit nine full solo cups in to his metal lunch box.

It is sad. Kids should be given the opportunity to eat good lunches (and breakfasts) through free lunch/reduced cost programs. The most direct impact for education is that kids will have the energy and attentional focus on school. As several posters have pointed out, it's not the kids' fault that they are in the financial situation they're in.

Yes there's abuse of this system, and as always, there are people who find the loopholes. But that isn't enough reason to undermine such an important program. I am also in favor of free/reduced breakfasts in communities where the kids are otherwise not going to get a substantial breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day!
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Old 05-30-2008, 09:23 AM
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It is a shame that the US spends so much on other countries in food aid, money for AIDS in Africa, emergency aid to places like Myanmar, these are just a few examples, but we can't take care of our own. I am not saying that these other things are not worthy things to contribute to, but I think we should take care of our own people first. Hunger has ALWAYS been a problem in this country, it is nothing new. I imagine that it has to be getting worse though with the high gas prices and high food prices, it makes it harder on everyone, but especially on low income people.
AMEN, the US needs to wake up and start taking care of our own
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Old 05-30-2008, 11:01 AM
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Our school district has a great free lunch program. Our cuts are taken by losing teachers (ugh) and other means (wish it was cutting the salary of the superintendant). We also have a lunch program over the summer. One school in the district (different one each year), hosts the program. Every weekday of the summer, kids 18 and younger can get a free hot lunch at the host school. You don't have to qualify or live in the town even...just show up. Parents/adults are $2 each. I have never gone to this (schools haven't been near us in recent years) but I know a lady who goes every day. The school admin told me the more kids that go, the more money the get from the govt program that supports it. So I think that's great. I could go, you could go....doesn't matter. Kids just get a nice lunch for free
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Old 05-30-2008, 11:03 AM
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They should be ashamed of themselves from wanting to cut back on lunch programs. I know a lot of people disagree, from the last thread about free lunch. But wanting to cut back the program because kids are trying to save their food for later to feed themselves or siblings? Come on!! I think those who are in favor of it need to head down the Yellow Brick Road to fetch a heart.

DS school has a great program, they call it the "Kiddie Pantry" where kids (low income) are allowed to shop in the pantry 1o minutes on Friday every week. They ask for donations (sent on Thursday), which they always get plenty, of food items that are easy to make, for kids. I normally send in peanut butter, jelly, bread, easy mac, crackers, juice boxes, cans of soup, hot dogs, bags of apples and snack items. When we first moved here I thought it was an odd program, but I have grown to love it. I love that the school administration and community cares for these kids outside the school.
They have this same program essentially at our school, except the PTA gets bags ready for the kids on Friday based on how many children they have living at the home so they will have food for the weekend.
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Old 05-30-2008, 12:24 PM
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One of our local foundations provides "Feed -n- Fun" during the summers. They provide free sack lunches to ANY child who comes to the specific parks/playgrounds. They do hot dogs, hamburgers, PB&J, and chicken patty sandwiches on a rotating basis. It's located at 9-10 of the parks (one of which is adjacent to Govt. Funded Housing site)

I absolutely think this is one of the best programs I have ever seen!
The program gets a little federal funding, but for the most part it's ran on donations and fund raising efforts.
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Old 05-30-2008, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Polve View Post
DS school has a great program, they call it the "Kiddie Pantry" where kids (low income) are allowed to shop in the pantry 1o minutes on Friday every week. They ask for donations (sent on Thursday), which they always get plenty, of food items that are easy to make, for kids. I normally send in peanut butter, jelly, bread, easy mac, crackers, juice boxes, cans of soup, hot dogs, bags of apples and snack items. When we first moved here I thought it was an odd program, but I have grown to love it. I love that the school administration and community cares for these kids outside the school.

That is one of the neatest programs I've ever heard about!

You're right: your school administration and community obviously have stepped up for these kids.
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Old 05-30-2008, 01:06 PM
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We have a few schools here located in the "poorer" districts that offer free breakfast and lunch to students 18 and younger. The good part is they don't ask for any proof you need it but on the other hand I have a friend who takes her 3 kids daily and she doesn't need it. That is what frustrates me the most, all the people who take advantage of free programs but are still able to go out to dinner and buy things they do not need.
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Old 05-30-2008, 02:43 PM
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The Federal Govt does not care about you or me. I don't say that to be mean or to tivialize anything. They really truly for the most part do not give a damn about a regular working person unless they personally know them.

They don't care if poor kids are going hungry. They only offer free lunches etc because if they did not the people would uprise and have a revolution. To them if a poor kid dies that is one less welfare case to provide for down the line.

The sooner people realize that we have to take care of things in our communities ourselves the better off we will be. Govt programs are a band aid so the neighbors won't see our kids' wounds. That's all they are.

They are important to the people they serve and if eneded tomorrow there would be alot of suffering. But make no mistake the people who are in power are mostly there because they found a way to bend, break, and make special rules so things will go their way.

I work for the Federal Govt and in the last three years I have made countless suggestions that would cost nothing or little to implement that would save the taxpayers and govt resources millions of dollars and I am ignored. Nay I am worse than ignored I am constantly being put on notice and chastised for trying to do my job in a way that is accountable. I often wish I could blow the lid off my agency.
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Old 05-30-2008, 03:04 PM
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I get frustrated at the people who expect the government to take care of their kids. The get food stamps and free lucnhes because they are "entitiled to it". UMMMM NO you really arent.
In one of the districts here all the school supplies on the first week of school are put in a bin and then the kids "shop" for what they want... So if you spend 3.99 on Crayolas, you child may wind up with 0.99 cent cheapies... But that is because parents complained and felt that their kids were "entilitled" to the nicer things too...
They are entilited to it if the parents get jobs and work for it.

And that link to the story that was posted just REALLY pisses me off!! She is 47, her hubby is 32. She has kids that are in their 20's that she could not afford... so what did she do?? HAD ANOTHER ONE WITH HER HUBBY!!
Wrong wrong wrong... take care of the ones you have before bringing in another mouth you cant feed!
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Old 05-30-2008, 10:06 PM
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The Federal Govt does not care about you or me ......To them if a poor kid dies that is one less welfare case to provide for down the line.

The sooner people realize that we have to take care of things in our communities ourselves the better off we will be. Govt programs are a band aid so the neighbors won't see our kids' wounds. That's all they are.

They are important to the people they serve and if eneded tomorrow there would be alot of suffering. But make no mistake the people who are in power are mostly there because they found a way to bend, break, and make special rules so things will go their way.

I work for the Federal Govt and in the last three years I have made countless suggestions that would cost nothing or little to implement that would save the taxpayers and govt resources millions of dollars and I am ignored. Nay I am worse than ignored I am constantly being put on notice and chastised for trying to do my job in a way that is accountable. I often wish I could blow the lid off my agency.
I really don't think that the gov't doesn't care if people live or die. To me that sounds like the thoughts expressed after Hurricane Katrina. I absolutely agree that we need to take care of each other, and that means EVERYONE doing something. I also believe that charity begins at home. I used to donate so much to the agencies that help others, then a friend got me thinking that I should do more for my own family and friends.

Anna, I know exactly how it goes with those suggestions when you work for the gov't. Everyone seems to have their own agenda, and don't have the time or desire to listen to what someone else has to say, sadly.
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Old 05-30-2008, 11:47 PM
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this all makes me wonder-I just read in the Sunday paper that 17% of the kids in our United States do not get enough to eat. I thought this number sounded extremely high. DH and I thought that might be a misprint, but maybe after reading all of this, it's not. That is so sad when so much aid is going from us to other countries, but almost 1 in 5 kids here are going to bed hungry????
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Old 05-31-2008, 02:50 AM
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Jaded - I wasn't meaning that at all. What I meant is I don't care what the deal is about how the parents got the Food Stamps, I was just glad that hopefully the kids would be getting food. Hence, not paying for their parents mistakes. By no means would I ever make such a bold assumption. They can drive whatever they want to as far as I'm concerned. I am just so bothered by this whole thing. I have never heard of programs like the "Kiddie Pantry". That is fantastic! I need to work on getting something like that going here.
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Old 05-31-2008, 10:04 AM
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DH was a "free lunch kid" while he was growing up. His mother never worked, and he lived with many different relatives. He has told me stories about fighting cockroaches for boxes of corn flakes.


I am just glad that there are these types of programs out there.

My son's school offers free breakfast to ANY student who wants it in the morning. No income check.

We do not qualify at all for free hot lunch for him, but he does occasionally (1-3x/month) have the free breakfast. Normally after a morning club he goes to.

I also agree that the "kiddie pantry" sounds like a neat idea. I hate the thought of children going hungry on the weekends.

My son has a friend - well, "fair weather" friend who comes over on occasion (when there is nothing better for him to do) who is one of those poverty level type children. He has 3 brothers and lives with his father, who does not work.

He can put down 3 peanut butter & jelly sandwiches easily. He has come over at 2pm and said he has not eaten all day (normally near the end of the month). I am always shocked at the amount of food he can eat.

There is a summer program here, sponsored, that allows children to come to one of four different parks locally and get a free lunch - no income requirements - during the summer. I think that is a great idea too!
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Old 06-02-2008, 11:10 AM
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And that link to the story that was posted just REALLY pisses me off!! She is 47, her hubby is 32. She has kids that are in their 20's that she could not afford... so what did she do?? HAD ANOTHER ONE WITH HER HUBBY!!
Wrong wrong wrong... take care of the ones you have before bringing in another mouth you cant feed!
You are judging a woman who can't work now because she has a brain tumor? Seriously? Wow.

Did you read the article? She worked 50 hours a week before she had to stop because of a brain tumor.

The haves have not a clue.
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Old 06-02-2008, 01:13 PM
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You are judging a woman who can't work now because she has a brain tumor? Seriously? Wow.

Did you read the article? She worked 50 hours a week before she had to stop because of a brain tumor.

The haves have not a clue.
And some of the have nots have not for a very good reason! Only a loser keeps having babies they know they can't support. Sandra Walerski is 47 now so she was still having babies at age 44 when (according to her) her family didn't have enough money to get by before the brain tumor she claims to have now. She has four kids and and she was still creating them even while in her mid-forties that she can't feed. Same old story and same old refrain by the people too stupid to see a connection. You'd think you'd stop creating children when you can't support the ones you have but no, Sandra just whines about how hard life is for her. That ridiculous article is just an obvious plea for donations and so slanted that it's nauseating. If things are so tough for Sandra then she should stop eating so much and spend that money on real expenses. Check out her picture! She complains about how they have no money for food but Sandra isn't in any danger of starvation. She has a double chin and looks VERY well fed to me. Overly fed, to be blunt. Sandra looks exactly like the Christmas pig. All that's missing is an apple in her mouth to complete the picture! I doubt she has a brain tumor at all but I'm sure her sob story will bring in the donations and she can eat her way up another dress size while she complains about her lack of food. I did enjoy the part where Sandra complained about how her friends are struggling so terribly to support their seven children on only $67,000 a year. I can't work up any sympathy for people like this but if you can, send them a check immediately so they can create child number eight in comfort!
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Old 06-02-2008, 01:54 PM
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And some of the have nots have not for a very good reason! Only a loser keeps having babies they know they can't support. Sandra Walerski is 47 now so she was still having babies at age 44 when (according to her) her family didn't have enough money to get by before the brain tumor she claims to have now. She has four kids and and she was still creating them even while in her mid-forties that she can't feed. Same old story and same old refrain by the people too stupid to see a connection. You'd think you'd stop creating children when you can't support the ones you have but no, Sandra just whines about how hard life is for her. That ridiculous article is just an obvious plea for donations and so slanted that it's nauseating. If things are so tough for Sandra then she should stop eating so much and spend that money on real expenses. Check out her picture! She complains about how they have no money for food but Sandra isn't in any danger of starvation. She has a double chin and looks VERY well fed to me. Overly fed, to be blunt. Sandra looks exactly like the Christmas pig. All that's missing is an apple in her mouth to complete the picture! I doubt she has a brain tumor at all but I'm sure her sob story will bring in the donations and she can eat her way up another dress size while she complains about her lack of food. I did enjoy the part where Sandra complained about how her friends are struggling so terribly to support their seven children on only $67,000 a year. I can't work up any sympathy for people like this but if you can, send them a check immediately so they can create child number eight in comfort!

Generally speaking: Healthy food is more expensive. Lean meats cost more than hamburger. Fresh fruits and vegetables are very expensive (at least here they are). The things that are cheap are usually: potatoes, rice, hamburger, etc. which can lead to weight gain. Also if she actually does have a brain tumor that could be having some effect on her hormone levels which in turn could make her gain weight.

I don't know the woman's history. I don't know whether she has a brain tumor or not. I don't know if they were doing OK (financially) prior to finding out that she had a brain tumor(assuming she does have one).
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: It's really easy to judge a person based on one small article, but that article may not provide a complete view of the situation.
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Old 06-02-2008, 08:29 PM
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Well in my town the food bank has started giving the kids on the free lunch program a bag to take home with them on the weekend so the kids dont starve & they have a program during the summer the low income kids can go to for free & all do trust me the parents dont work but they have to send them somewhere so these kids get free lunch & breakfast thier everyday too I grew up by a lady she is 65 or 70yrs old now she grew up super poor she said as kids she & siblings would steal from peoples gardens so they wouldnt starve to death now I think that is a neat idea I mean for little kids who are litteraly starving KWIM
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Old 06-02-2008, 09:45 PM
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I work for the Federal Govt and in the last three years I have made countless suggestions that would cost nothing or little to implement that would save the taxpayers and govt resources millions of dollars and I am ignored. Nay I am worse than ignored I am constantly being put on notice and chastised for trying to do my job in a way that is accountable. I often wish I could blow the lid off my agency.

I would love to know your suggestions. Maybe a non-goverment employee, regular citizen, like me, could use your suggestions and get further with it because I would have no one to be accountable to. It kills me to think of all the money the government wastes, as well as gives away to other countries when we need it right here!!

It's a sin when a person goes hungry. There is no reason.

Please post of email me privately. I would love to hear your suggestions.

Thanks,
Judi
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Old 06-03-2008, 06:54 AM
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"You are judging a woman who can't work now because she has a brain tumor? Seriously? Wow" I was not judging her due to the tumor, I was saying if she had kids 20 years ago that she could not afford why not take precautions not to have anymore. I knew when I had my second child that anymore would be difficult financially so I STOPPED HAVING THEM!! Simple! If she was working 50 hours a week prior to the tumor kind of makes me wonder if she wasnt living a little beyond her means then...
I agree with opal, this seems like a ploy for donations.
I work in a cancer center... see people every single day getting chemo and going straight to work (and yes some have brain tumors) because they CHOSE to do this instead of whining about how hard life is. People with cancer work every day all day during treatment. And if she was getting any treatment, there are a million programs out there to help people through the treatment time and the financial burden it places... However her tumor remains UNBIOPSIED so who knows if it is even there...
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Old 06-03-2008, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by opaldancing View Post
And some of the have nots have not for a very good reason! Only a loser keeps having babies they know they can't support. Sandra Walerski is 47 now so she was still having babies at age 44 when (according to her) her family didn't have enough money to get by before the brain tumor she claims to have now. She has four kids and and she was still creating them even while in her mid-forties that she can't feed. Same old story and same old refrain by the people too stupid to see a connection. You'd think you'd stop creating children when you can't support the ones you have but no, Sandra just whines about how hard life is for her. That ridiculous article is just an obvious plea for donations and so slanted that it's nauseating. If things are so tough for Sandra then she should stop eating so much and spend that money on real expenses. Check out her picture! She complains about how they have no money for food but Sandra isn't in any danger of starvation. She has a double chin and looks VERY well fed to me. Overly fed, to be blunt. Sandra looks exactly like the Christmas pig. All that's missing is an apple in her mouth to complete the picture! I doubt she has a brain tumor at all but I'm sure her sob story will bring in the donations and she can eat her way up another dress size while she complains about her lack of food. I did enjoy the part where Sandra complained about how her friends are struggling so terribly to support their seven children on only $67,000 a year. I can't work up any sympathy for people like this but if you can, send them a check immediately so they can create child number eight in comfort!
You have so much more to learn about empathy,compassion and just life in general. I wonder how old you are? Anyway, lets hope life is kind to you in every way so that you are not faced with the harsh realities that sometimes play out in our lives. You never know what the future holds.
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Old 06-03-2008, 09:26 AM
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Lytle,
I believe that opal has learned ALOT about life in general. She is calling this as she sees it.
As far as empathy and compassion, would she be more empathetic or compassionate if she handed this lady a check??
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Old 06-03-2008, 09:37 AM
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You never know what the future holds.
Good reminder to us all. Thanks, lytlemss!
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Old 06-03-2008, 09:49 AM
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Lytle,
I believe that opal has learned ALOT about life in general. She is calling this as she sees it.
As far as empathy and compassion, would she be more empathetic or compassionate if she handed this lady a check??
It has nothing to do with monetary donations. Just wanted to clarify.
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Old 06-03-2008, 10:27 AM
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Lytle,
I believe that opal has learned ALOT about life in general. She is calling this as she sees it.
As far as empathy and compassion, would she be more empathetic or compassionate if she handed this lady a check??
First thing- A LOT is two words (tiny pet peeve drilled into me by my Senior English teacher).

Empathy and compassion do not revolve around money. Empathy and compassion revolve around the knowledge that at any given moment you could find yourself in a bad situation--that situation could be a result of your own poor decision making or due to circumstances. Regardless of the "why", each and everyone of us could become destitute or find ourselves facing a life threatening medical crisis. I try to remember that these days, as I know that I have become very jaded due to the people and situations I deal with in my job.

It's one thing to "call it as she sees it", but "OPAL" goes beyond that with insults and personal attacks on some woman she doesn't even know!

I would think that someone who has had some pretty significant personal issues in their life would be more empathetic and understanding. Maybe you and Opal have been so fortunate as to not faced significant personal tragedy or misfortune.
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Old 06-03-2008, 11:01 AM
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I have faced misfortune however if it was due to my own causing, I never sat and whined about it. I was at one time on welfare and putting myself through school. I could have chose to have more kids and let the rest of the US feed us however I didnt. I graduated college, got off welfare and realized that two children was plenty for me to afford to support. I didnt just keep having children...
The woman in the story did this with bad decision making.. if she knew she could not afford more kids, then take precautions to stop it from happening.

"It's one thing to "call it as she sees it", but "OPAL" goes beyond that with insults and personal attacks on some woman she doesn't even know!" TOUCHE marilyn K...
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Old 06-03-2008, 11:24 AM
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I have faced misfortune however if it was due to my own causing, I never sat and whined about it. I was at one time on welfare and putting myself through school. I could have chose to have more kids and let the rest of the US feed us however I didnt. I graduated college, got off welfare and realized that two children was plenty for me to afford to support. I didnt just keep having children...
The woman in the story did this with bad decision making.. if she knew she could not afford more kids, then take precautions to stop it from happening.

"It's one thing to "call it as she sees it", but "OPAL" goes beyond that with insults and personal attacks on some woman she doesn't even know!" TOUCHE marilyn K...
Let's see: was this woman on welfare 3 years ago when she had the child? Did she know that she was going to have to quit work due to a health issue?

What I'm saying is this: she may appear to have made bad decisions NOW, but none of us have the ability to look into the future (well, at least I don't--maybe you do, I don't know). And what appears to be a bad decision NOW, could have seemed like an ok decision three years ago. Oh, and birth control doesn't always work. So, she may have taken precautions and they failed.

If questioning your education and professed nursing skills based on medical advice that you gave that was outdate and dangerous, then yes, I'm guilty of that. If you want to call that a personal attack then by all means....but stating you are an RN and then dispensing medical advice which is dangerous, outdated and proven as such is irresponsible on your part at best, and life-threatening at worst.
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Old 06-03-2008, 12:28 PM
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First thing- A LOT is two words (tiny pet peeve drilled into me by my Senior English teacher).

Empathy and compassion do not revolve around money. Empathy and compassion revolve around the knowledge that at any given moment you could find yourself in a bad situation--that situation could be a result of your own poor decision making or due to circumstances. Regardless of the "why", each and everyone of us could become destitute or find ourselves facing a life threatening medical crisis.

It's one thing to "call it as she sees it", but "OPAL" goes beyond that with insults and personal attacks on some woman she doesn't even know!

I would think that someone who has had some pretty significant personal issues in their life would be more empathetic and understanding. Maybe you and Opal have been so fortunate as to not faced significant personal tragedy or misfortune.
I HAVE had significant personal misfortune (through no fault of my own) but I didn't complain about it to a reporter in the hopes of getting other people to send me money. I got a second job and did without until things improved. I also didn't create children that I can't support and then whine about how tough life is for me.

You're correct that there's no such word as 'alot' and that Julieoh should have written two words instead but I laughed when I read your remark because apparently, your Senior English teacher was too busy to teach YOU the intricacies of the English language. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones and people who don't even understand word definitions shouldn't pretend that they're a language expert! ROFL.

Empathy
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Not to be confused with Pity, Sympathy, or Compassion.

Empathy is the capacity to recognize or understand another's state of mind or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or to in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself. It may be described metaphorically as an emotional kind of resonance or mirroring


So Marilynk, I can't have *empathy* for someone like Sarah. How could I? Her problems are the PREDICTABLE result of her poor choices, not a tragedy that befell her. She's still having babies in her mid-forties that she can't support! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you should stop creating more mouths to feed when you can't support the ones you already have. As for her 'alleged' brain tumor, I (like Julieoh) immediately noticed that it's 'unbiopsied'. That can be another way of saying that she can't prove her claim. Either way, it's obvious from that slanted article that she's soliciting donations to help with her self created plight. I can have *compassion* or *pity* for someone who experiences hardship even if it's of their own making as long as they know that they made a mistake and are trying to fix it but I can hardly be expected to 'empathize' or 'understand' someone who is so very different from me. I would never beg from the masses to save me or be a party to such a disgusting display.

It sounds as if you certainly *sympathize* with her, though. I'm very surprised to read this after you told everyone that you had an abortion because you felt that you weren't in a financial or emotional position to properly raise a child. Usually, people who choose abortion for those reasons don't have much sympathy for those that create children they can't support and beg others to do it for them but how extremely generous of you. No doubt Sarah appreciates your thoughts but I'm sure she'd rather have your money. Surely you'll want to send her a large check as you are so *understanding*.
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Old 06-03-2008, 12:49 PM
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Well, one can have a brain tumor without a biopsy. Those do show up on CT and/or MRIs. Biopsies are used to determine what kind of tumor is it. So, just because there hasn't been a biopsy--doesn't mean there isn't a tumor.

I have empathy and sympathy for anyone who's struggling to make ends meet and has any sort of health issues(whether they are actual or imagined--mental illness can be just as devastating as a physical illness. I thought you, of all people would know that).

Sometimes, one bad decision leads to a chain of events that just seems to pile on problems. Other times, regardless of the decision we may make or not make, bad things happen. I find it very telling that the personal misfortune you have experienced you attribute to "no fault of your own". I've experienced significant personal misfortune--some of which was of no fault of my own, some of which was due to poor decision making skills or because I was young and stupid and didn't think ahead. Oh, and as to my abortion--there were so many other reasons that I chose that route. You, because you are not a personal close friend or family member would not be privvy to that information. You seem to imply that it was strictly for my own personal gain or selfish attitude--and if that's what you want to think, I'm ok with that. As I have said many times before: I made the decision that was right for ALL people involved, and I am ok w/ that decision. So, think what you like--you're going to anyway. I still say, based on one article w/ only limited information it's too hard to draw any concrete conclusions about this woman or her circumstance.
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Old 06-03-2008, 12:50 PM
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I wasnt talking about the way you attacked me, I am talking about the negativity and the way you attack just about everyone that posts here. Your sympathy, empathy whatever it is that you have for this woman is amazing to me. You are usually the coldest, harshest of anyone...

The point is, as opal has stated this lady was 41 years old having a baby that SHE KNEW she could not afford. She was, at that time, by her own words, working 50 hours a week to make ends meet. Having another child was clearly a BAD DECISION ON HER PART... She KNEW she could not afford the child.

"Well, one can have a brain tumor without a biopsy. Those do show up on CT and/or MRIs. Biopsies are used to determine what kind of tumor is it. So, just because there hasn't been a biopsy--doesn't mean there isn't a tumor." Without a biopsy you can not tell exactly what it is. It could be a benign mass, a bleed, or one of many other reasons. Until she has the biopsy she should NOT be using the term "brain tumor". In the cancer field, it is NOT used until there is a biopsy done.
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Old 06-03-2008, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Julieoh0712 View Post
I wasnt talking about the way you attacked me, I am talking about the negativity and the way you attack just about everyone that posts here. Your sympathy, empathy whatever it is that you have for this woman is amazing to me. You are usually the coldest, harshest of anyone...

.
Hmmmmm....it's COLD and HARSH when I do it, but when Opaldancing does it, it's "calling it like she sees it." Interesting, very interesting.

and it's always amazing when opaldancing and a few other posters show up...just an observation.
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:10 PM
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All this bickering back and forth about what the mother did or did not do is irrelevant. The free lunch program is for the children, they should not be punished for a mistakes or a misfortune of their parents/guardians. If the kids want to sneak food home to their siblings, who have the misfortune of not being old enough to attend school, then we should be passing down our unwanted jello packs to these kids so they aren't going to bed hungry every night. I am not one normally to draw attention to another poster's post...but both Opal and Julia are so worried about making sure that their point is heard, that they have seemed to forget we are talking about children! And Julie as someone who has been on welfare, admitted by your own comments, you should be ashamed of yourself. You were given assistance when you needed it, what makes you worthy and not this woman? The child is already here no reason arguing what she should of done, instead worry about making a difference in someone else life. The whole "paying it forward" mentality.

I doubt that when ballmom started this thread she was worried about this one woman in the article, but the bigger picture. That cutting the free lunch program can and will affect thousands, if not million of children in this country. Maybe I am naive, but I will never understand why people love kicking other people when they are down, instead of lending them a hand or wondering what you can do to help.
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:12 PM
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Oh, and as to my abortion--there were so many other reasons that I chose that route. You, because you are not a personal close friend or family member would not be privvy to that information. You seem to imply that it was strictly for my own personal gain or selfish attitude--and if that's what you want to think, I'm ok with that.
I implied nothing of the sort! How can you make such a leap from a matter of fact sentence to "your own personal gain or selfish attitude"? That's a gigantic leap! You are VERY defensive because all I wrote was that you chose abortion because you felt that you weren't you felt that you weren't in a financial or emotional position to properly raise a child.

I wrote that because it's WHAT YOU SAID. Those were the reasons YOU gave for aborting your child and it's not my fault if you regret your choice now. It sounds like you aren't as ok with your decision as you claim to be because I never even condemned you for it, much less attributed it to personal gain or selfish attitude. Get a grip, woman!
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:18 PM
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"Maybe I am naive, but I will never understand why people love kicking other people when they are down, instead of lending them a hand or wondering what you can do to help." I can understand this to a point. I do not mind helping people who help themselves. I have no problem with that. However it seems to me that the same people are putting their hands out over and over again. People make stupd decisions and choices in life and then they want everyone else to feel pity and bail them out.

I would be curious as to how many kids REALLY qualify for free lunches or how many papers are altered a little. I bet it is alot more then we think.
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:25 PM
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"Well, one can have a brain tumor without a biopsy. Those do show up on CT and/or MRIs. Biopsies are used to determine what kind of tumor is it. So, just because there hasn't been a biopsy--doesn't mean there isn't a tumor." Without a biopsy you can not tell exactly what it is. It could be a benign mass, a bleed, or one of many other reasons. Until she has the biopsy she should NOT be using the term "brain tumor". In the cancer field, it is NOT used until there is a biopsy done.
well, seeing as how that the only time cancer was ever mentioned in the article was to refer to her prior bout of breast cancer....

On an MRI or CT--they are usually referred to as to tumor or masses, further diagnostics needed (I review MRI, CTs and x-rays all day every day), I can see where a layperson would refer to it as a tumor.

Quote:
Get a grip, woman!
.
I have a firm grip, thank you very much for your concern. And I think you should re-read a few posts....but that's just me.

Again--I think that judging the particular woman based on one article is wrong. None of us have any way of knowing if she sought out the reporter or if the reporter sought her out. Can you state within a degree of probability that the subject of the article called up the reporter and asked to have the article written about her?
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:32 PM
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One of our local foundations provides "Feed -n- Fun" during the summers. They provide free sack lunches to ANY child who comes to the specific parks/playgrounds. They do hot dogs, hamburgers, PB&J, and chicken patty sandwiches on a rotating basis. It's located at 9-10 of the parks (one of which is adjacent to Govt. Funded Housing site)

I absolutely think this is one of the best programs I have ever seen!
The program gets a little federal funding, but for the most part it's ran on donations and fund raising efforts.
What a great program!
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:48 PM
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Can you state within a degree of probability that the subject of the article called up the reporter and asked to have the article written about her?
No. I'm sure the reporter is psychic and knew exactly to to call. Can you state within a degree of probability that the subject of the article didn't tell the reporter her hard luck story? Can you state within a degree of probability that the subject of the article didn't trot around the grocery store with the reporter and whine about how poor she was? She did. That's a fact. There are pictures of her doing it.
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Old 06-03-2008, 02:11 PM
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No. I'm sure the reporter is psychic and knew exactly to to call. Can you state within a degree of probability that the subject of the article didn't tell the reporter her hard luck story? Can you state within a degree of probability that the subject of the article didn't trot around the grocery store with the reporter and whine about how poor she was? She did. That's a fact. There are pictures of her doing it.
*sigh* regardless of the mother's decisions--good or bad, the child should not be made to suffer. The child (or children) did not ask to be born.

Cutting programs that help children specifically will only create more problems in the future. Children who do not have a balanced diet, do not receive standard medical care--can eventually end up with severe issues which only cost more in the long run.

While cutting these types of programs does cut cost--it doesn't punish the parents per se, it punishes the innocent kids.
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Old 06-03-2008, 02:51 PM
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"Cutting programs that help children specifically will only create more problems in the future. Children who do not have a balanced diet, do not receive standard medical care--can eventually end up with severe issues which only cost more in the long run." The sad part is, the US taxpayers are the ones who will pay in the long run...
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Old 06-03-2008, 02:56 PM
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What we need to do is to concentrate on the "root of the problem" not just treat the symptoms.
We have to have economical reform. We need companies to stay in the US. We need to teach our young people job skills before they leave high school. We need fair and balanced "free trade" agreements with countries.

When our economy is doing great..there will not be as much of a need for these type of programs. Sure some people would still need the programs, but the majority would have good paying jobs.
The sad part is most people in Congress have no idea what to do to help, except to throw more money at the symptoms. More money is not the answer. Because that money is having to come from the working people by more taxes.

We have to concentrate our resources on making the American economy the number one issue. If a country has a fundmental sound economy then the people will have plenty.
No one wants to see a child go hungry. I think there are ways to "trim total $ cost" and apply those $ to a soultion to end the cycle. There are ways to make the programs be more efficient.
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Old 06-03-2008, 03:26 PM
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Actually the more I think about it, I am wondering if they did not use the word "TUMOR" to drum up sympathy... People think TUMOR=CANCER....
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Old 06-03-2008, 03:46 PM
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*sigh* regardless of the mother's decisions--good or bad, the child should not be made to suffer. The child (or children) did not ask to be born.

Cutting programs that help children specifically will only create more problems in the future. Children who do not have a balanced diet, do not receive standard medical care--can eventually end up with severe issues which only cost more in the long run.

While cutting these types of programs does cut cost--it doesn't punish the parents per se, it punishes the innocent kids.
*sigh*. Your noble sentiments aside, they have nothing to do with the question you asked about Sarah. You asked a question and I answered it.

While I agree that no child should go hungry, I disagree about the method. Giving out more government assistance isn't the answer. Do you think the welfare system is a bottomless pit of money? Eventually, the taxpayers won't be ABLE to fund all these welfare programs. After all, eventually, more welfare recipients will be *born* than taxpayers. The welfare recipients invaribly have large families and each generation produces more. What about immigrant's children? Where's the money going to come from to feed them? Unlike fifty years ago, all aren't coming to America to work hard. Many are coming to live the American dream alright but not to work for it. They jump on our welfare system and stay there. We have hard working Americans that can't afford medical treatment for themselves but are expected to help fund the welfare receipient's doctor bills! There are hard working Americans that can't afford to buy a home but are expected to fund projects that allow welfare recipients homes for next to nothing. How are they going to pay for all the other taxes? What about our nation's defense? Where is all this money going to come from?

It sounds so nice and caring to say that the children shouldn't suffer and if the parents won't meet their responsibilities, than the taxpayers will have to do their job for them but it's not a feasible long term solution. Thousands and thousands pour into this country every day and more children are born to them too. Do you know how many children will be on the Free Lunch Program in twenty years? What happens when future taxpayers decide that welfare is preferable to working since they won't have enough left to support themselves after they support everyone else? Then there'll be serious cutbacks and the people who supported the system won't be able to receive any help when they need it.

If the child should not be made to suffer for the mother's decisions--good or bad, then hold the mother responsible for her decisions. If it doesn't punish the parents per se and punishes the innocent kids, then START punishing the parents. It's time to hold the PARENTS responsible and MAKE them pay for the children they created. If they won't, seize their assets. Issue long term birth control and make it a requirement while on welfare. It would be MUCH cheaper than supporting their potential offspring. A surprising number of welfare recipients drive very nice cars and those nice cars require hefty insurance premiums, money that could be used to support their children. Issue bus passes instead. A surprising number of welfare recipients eat very well. Limit free food to nutritious food only and save the lobster for people who pay their own bills. It's ridiculous that lobster, scallops, swordfish, filet mignon, etc can be purchased with food stamps. I could go on but you get the idea.

The solution is not to give them or their children more because where does it end? You do know that it's very likely that these children will end up on welfare too? And that they will also create children? Children learn by example and the example these are receiving is that Uncle Sam takes care of them with no effort. Instead, we actually REWARD this behavior. Do you know how many mothers deliberately get pregnant just so they can receive a higher check?

The beat goes on and it's time that the cycle stopped or else the US will be forced to limit the number of children a person can have, just like China did. And like China, they'll wait until it's too late and more children will suffer in the meantime. The ENTIRE wefare system needs to be restructured because it won't hold for future generations. It can't.
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Old 06-03-2008, 03:48 PM
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While a tumor can be benign, it can be just as deadly.

Oncology literally means the study of tumors.
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Old 06-03-2008, 04:20 PM
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