I just read in another thread that the Haves have not a clue (or something to that effect). So, I am curious....

What makes a have? a have not?
How are they different? Hardwork? Fortune? Or conversely, misfortune? Good Plan? Strong family?
Is there something in between - the "have somes"?
How do haves get a clue?
Do have nots need a clue/direction about anything?
Does a have not strive to be a have or is there somethign morally reprehensible about being a have?

As I said, I'm just curious. It seems that there is an underlying theme of distaste for "haves".....especially celebs and such....and I've always wondered why....

For your consideration.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Interesting question.

I believe most people "have" a lot more than they give themselves credit for. There are a great deal of people who feel that they "have not" but I see them "having" an awful lot.

I have an acquaintance who feels very "have not" - the reason why? She can't afford someone to maintain her inground pool! Everyone in her area seems to have a pool without maintaining it, themselves. She cannot afford such a luxury (although having an inground pool doesn't seem to be at issue, at all).

It's all a matter of perspective.

I was just going to post the exact same thing.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Reading that made me feel like I was reading a Dr. Seuss book, LOL. Let me digest it, and I'll be back with my thoughts on it.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Not sure about the underlying theme of distaste, but, personally, I hate to see people who "have" so much, and think they are entitled to do whatever they want with regards to our resources. Well, I "have" a lot of money, so I'll drive whatever I want, and leave the lights on, and run the water....etc.

Interesting topic.....

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I agree it's all in our heads, all about perception. I could have $0 and still feel like a "have" I could have a million $$ and still feel like a "have not"

Where is the head spinning smiley?

.

I agree.

In America many of our poor people are so much better off than some of those third world countries.

Very difficult, but interesting question.

most of you guys know that with my job, i am in ALOT of different peoples homes. I have noticed in all my yrs of doing this job, the very well off people are alot more wasteful than the average or the poor people. in some of my wealthy clients homes, I notice that there is lights, t.v ,pc and such on with no one is around to watch or use them. They waste alot of food by not saving the leftovers and a few of them drive huge gas guzzlers and make lots of trips instead of making one trip and doing everything they need to do then. ( one I am thinking about will go to the grocery store then come home and put up her items then go back to the drug store or the dry cleaners when she could have done all three, ending at the grocery store then come home)
It drives me nuts to go into a home and the t.v be on in one of the kids's bedrooms and they are gone to school! wasteful!
also,some of the will throw cloths in the trash before they would ever give them to someone else or donate them to good will. no clue why people are like this but it drives me nuts!

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Your experiences are interesting, littlejo. You have far more than I, but mine are a little different....maybe because my exposure to wealthy folks is those who are wealthy because they live well below their means. (Millionare Next Door books describe these folks and their success formula).

While the wealthy person might not reclaim his/her bottle deposit, he/she might recycle it rather than throw it out the car window.

I find myself agreeing with those who said it's a matter of perspective. Would it not be cool if everyone could take stock of their relative riches and see themselves as a "have" in some regard, presumably that was important or of value to them?

Pollyanna cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

That has been my experience, as well. However, I do notice that people who live big but are actually living in debt and on credit do tend to waste a lot. And I notice that on the opposite end of the 'wealth' spectrum, often those who have little buy the 'wrong' things when they do get the opportunity. By the 'wrong' things, I mean things that won't help them be self-sufficient in the long run. They're more apt to spring for a video game system for their kid than go to a Dave Ramsey class, etc.

The thing about the 'millionaire next door' is that you don't can't tell that they are so well off just by looking at them. I have known a lot of people who aren't so well off, but they tried to live like they were -- extremely wastefull, drive huge gas guzzlers, always have new stuff -- cars, clothing, jewelry, going on fancy vacations, etc.

Personally, I think 'haves' and 'havenots' are really a matter of your own perception. My 5 year old is always asking if we are 'rich'. I always tell him 'yes'. It's not that we have a TON of money, but we do live what I think is a 'rich' life with lots of love, respect, family interaction, etc. We could have $0 to our name and I would still consider us 'rich' because of the strong family foundation we have made for ourselves that has nothing to do with monetary 'things'.

Sarah.......mom to Jason & Devin

I've looked down the street before and wondered who "stretched" to get their house and are living way beyond their means and who (like us) bought a house that we were comfortable in the payments and ignored the insane amount the bank wanted to give us.

When my kids have asked if we are rich, I repsond with, "It depends...some people would think that we are and some people would think that we aren't. Just remember you have to be happy with what you have and you cannot compete and worry about what others have. You will never be happy. There will always be someone with more than you and there will always be someone with less than you. Just look at the movie stars that have everything. They are still screwed up and not happy. It's not the money or things that make you happy. It's you."

I think they get it, but I dont' know. I guess time will tell. My girls like to dress "in style", but it doesn't have to be Abercrombie or those brands. They have some of that, but because they ask for those gift cards for birthdays and Christmas. They mostly have Kohls, Penneys & Target.

I love the millionaire next door stories. Some of my friends think I'm crazy using coupons, eating leftovers, cooking at home, driving an 8 year old car that I bought used that I love and have no intention of getting rid of soon, wear my clothes till they wear out versus having the latest fad. I really don't care what they think. I am happy. I've heard of a lot of people who are "rich" but it's not because they necessarily "make" that much - it's because the "save" that much.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything they have."

In a nutshell, this says it for me! I've got to memorize it so I can use it with my own kids!

Nice saying I like it too. My kids have never asked me if we are rich. I have told them that compared to a lot of people, we have a lot and compared to others, we have nothing...it's all perspective. Of coarse at 7 and 9, they don't *quite* get it but they do get that I won't be spending $300 on a nail salon party no matter how hard they beg or that it has to be on sale and most likely with a coupon if I am going to buy it. I could do with a lot less and still feel "rich" with what I have. All the money in the world can't buy you happiness and happiness is the goal we should all be striving for IMO I can't think of too many people I know who are happy...at least to the outside eye and that is really sad

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

As some of you know one of my children struggles with her health and I always say
*Without your health there is no wealth*

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

someone here has/had a sig. line that went something like "always pray for health, not wealth". I still remember that saying.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

It's always in the back of my mind just how blessed I am. I grew up without alot of monetary things, and I look now and realize that I have more than my Mother ever had, and more than I ever imagined. I'm not wealthy by anyones standards, I'm an RN, single mother, etc. But I do have an education, good health, wonderful healthy children , and what I consider a beautiful home. Compared to other people, that have alot of money, don't worry about paying the bills, don't have to work, I'm sure they look at me as a have not. But in my opinion, I have it all. So really I think it's just how you look at it. These days, just looking at people struggling to feed their families, put gas in the car, I feel like a major have!!

Yeah, I love that, too.

When I say my prayers at night, I ask God to keep us all safe, happy and healthy. Wealth has never been a request.

Wonderfully stated. Under your definition I'm in the major have category too and thank my lucky stars every day.

Wow, and now Ed McMahon is $644,000 behind on his house payments and in foreclosure. His house has been on the market for $6.5 million for 2 years and he can't sell it. They say partly because he lives in a gated community with Britney Spears and no one wants to live near that papparazzi mess.

So, the perception of being rich & having it all is sometimes just that: a perception.

On a side note, how can you have that much money at one time and not save anything?!

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything they have."

HEY THAT WAS MY LINE AND I DIDN"T REALIZE TILL NOW I TOK IT DOWN! It will be going back because beleive me it's true!!!!!!

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

I'd rather by a "have-not" who doesn't have everything I want, than a "have" who isn't happy with everything they have.

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"God is great,
Beer is good, and people are crazy"

This was one of the first things I thought of when I read the title of this thread.

So many entertainers have so much in the way of money, things, perks, extras, privileges, etc. and still so unhappy. All the drugs, alcohol and women/men money can buy, and still so unhappy.

You really hit it with "it's you" that makes a person happy or not.

You have to be happy on the inside first, to be happy on the outside.

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Sometimes I am GLAD I do not "Have" Much money. We struggle at times and i get stressed about not having the money BUT we have each other. With more money may come a better life but then again there is always a different kind of stress to having money as well. As the saying goes..The more you have the more you want right? There are a lot of things I would like to have but I do NOT have the money for. I honestly would rather have less money then More stress. There has to be more stress with more money.

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~*~Live life to the fullest*~*