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well, my "baby" is 5 now, lol. But one thing I ALWAYS did w/ all 3 of them was buy one of those simple food grinders. took it everywhere w/ me (even restaurants) and just ground up their food. I did give them junk food every now and then, but not often. I did use baby food, but it was just as easy to grind it. Plus it tasted better than baby food. Maybe invite her over, give her daughter some of your food, say something like "oh look, she likes it". and then give her a grinder and Amazon.com: Feed Me! I'm Yours: Revised and Expanded Edition: Vicki Lansky: Books. Or not.
__________________ "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus |
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As for "snacks", yes, my kids got them, don't we all need snacks??? I gave mine cheerios, crackers, fruit, etc. They only have little tummies and need snacks thruout the day. As far as comparing your baby's weight to your friend's baby, I wouldn't be so quick to do that. Just last night, DD found a picture of herself when she was about 6 months old, and I'll bet you she weighed 20lbs at least. She had rolls, and rolls, and rolls of fat. From the snacks??? I highly doubt it. She was breastfed, and didn't get a whole lot of snacks at that age. That was just her "frame" I guess. She's a stick now, tho. I personally think you should get off your high horse and cut your friend a break.
__________________ Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing. |
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Isn't this board to voice those things that you might not otherwise say out there? I thought that's what we were all here for - to get everyone's opinions, insight, etc. So I say "Get back on your horse!" ![]() I know it can be hard to watch someone doing something that you feel the wouldn't be doing if they had more information. I don't necessarily recommend getting involved, though. Since she feeds herself the same *quality* of food, she would obviously become defensive rather than feeling enlightened. I have a friend who keeps Hawaiian Punch in her fridge, and gives that to her kids that are both under two years old. She calls it "juice" and I cringe. She also feeds her 6 month old applesauce with "high fructose corn syrup" in it. Why not the 100% unsweetened applesauce? I did try to mention the option - I actually said "My doctor suggested I use the unsweetened, 100% applesauce. I didn't get anywhere. So, I feel for you, but I can tell you that when I've approached someone on a similar issue, I got nowhere. It's still a very worthwhile topic for sure! |
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Let me just say that the whole point of my post, before I became long winded and judgemental, was that I am just surprised at some of the food that is found in the baby food aisle now. Off my soapbox now.
__________________ I've had a Foreman Grill for about six years. I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself. Probably because I don't use it as a pillow. |
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DS#1 at a lot of Gerber baby food. And there wasn't the "special" snacks that there are now....10 years ago the baby food aisle was just jars of food!! Not snacks, and fruit roll ups, and the extras--closest thing to a snack was the teething biscuits and zwieback crackers.With DS #2--we made our own food. Steamed the fruits and veggies, pureed and/or strained them then froze them in ice trays. We made our own out of necessity. We were broke and I couldn't see spending extra money when I could make it myself.
__________________ Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" |
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I noticed the "crap" in baby food when they first came out with the Gerber's splashers, which is what i think you mentioned in your post. But, the sad thing is, if people will buy it, they will sell it. People (general) like convenience and think that if it is "baby food" it is good for the baby. I have become much more diligent about checking the labels of the foods I buy. I think you (general you) would be surprised to see the junk they put in all our foods. But, again, if it sells, they will make it.
__________________ Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing. |
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I fed my baby jarred baby food, then started pureeing our food as he got a little older. Now he eats what we eat. We usually have a good dinner at night. But, I did give him alot of the snacks that you mentioned. I never thought that it was a bad thing. Are you employed outside of the home? Because I am, and his Dad and sisters take care of him while I am at work. So I have to have easy to feed, and grab, things for him to have as snacks. I always buy the healthy cereal, do what I can to have low sugar. We only use the healthy juice, not the sweetened kind. But I'm not perfect, and apparently my food choices aren't either! But my baby is happy, healthy, and thriving! Doing the best we can!! Don't hold everyone else up to you're standards. They might do things different in another area than you do, and wonder about you. Personally, I hardly ever leave my baby, except to go to work. I have friends that will let the grandparents keep their kids for the whole weekend, while they go do whatever. Never, would I do that. If I am not at work my baby is with me. However, they might feed theirs super healthy, unlike me. See what I mean?? We are all different.
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Sometimes the worries and fears seem more harmful then the actual food. I have some health nuts in my family and they almost seem to have an anxiety attack when faced with food decisions. That can't be good for them! I have a 10 year old who had extreme allergies as a baby (ie dairy, peanuts, and eggs). We fed him what he could eat and it was incredibly limited. A LOT of his allergies have subsided (strangely!) but he continues to be very picky about what he eats to this day! I am sure that folks have all kinds of judgements about what he eats -- and some family members have even come out and said something to me as if I don't already know that his diet is not balanced! Speaking up does cause a lot of strain so you are wise to say nothing. This same son always gets a clean bill of health at his checkups, is energetic, and is a happy boy who is respectful and kind. We all have to choose our battles and food battles are not ones that I choose to get into. Turn the other cheek. The baby will be fine. |
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I personally think it wise not to say anything to your friend....especially since it's none of your business. It's not like she is putting alcohol in her bottle or giving her extra cough syrup for her to sleep.When DS was a baby he ate a very limited diet, breast milk and Gerber jar food.....he didn't even have table food until he was over one except for cheerios....and yet he was about 36-37 at 1 yrs old. I would be so angry when people would mention his weight, especially in a negative way....till this day I could tell you who said what about him and he is now 7yrs old. So while you might "think" her baby is overweight it could just be baby fat. Comparing to your child isn't going to help.....DS shot up and didn't gain any weight until he was almost 4 after hitting 36 lbs at 1....while some of my "friends" children who were 16 lbs at 1 could shed some pounds at 7 yrs old.....while My DS could gain a few. Also, you say you saw her buy snack foods at the grocery store, I don't think that gives you a realistic picture of what she feeds her child on a daily basis. There have been a few times when I have ran into the store and only picked up junk food....hopefull people weren't judging me on the context of my basket.
__________________ Chicago Bears!!!! We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you. We're so bad we know we're good. Blowin' your mind like we knew we would. You know we're just struttin' for fun Struttin' our stuff for everyone. We're not here to start no trouble. We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle. |
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I agree it is frustrating. My girls are almost 12 & 14 now, so I don't remember them having that stuff in the baby food aise, either. My girls both ate Gerber food. My doctor at the time suggested we start with meat, then move to veggies then fruit so the didn't develop the sweet tooth first. To this day my girls are great eaters, like veggies & fruit, and are slim. My SIL started her kids with pudding and went from there. Her and her DH are fat. Older daughter is chubby. Youngest boy is skinny. He lives on hotdogs, chips, boxed mac & cheese, fast food & Pepsi. He is 7 years old and right now he's very active. We'll see what happens. I don't say anything to her. They know, but don't care about nutrition and always have excuses why they eat that way. (IE: too busy, kids too picky, too tired, etc.) Their family has heart issues, diabetes, gall bladder, etc. That isn't a concern for them at this point. What can you do? I don't feel it's my business how she raises her family, though it makes me sad to watch. Lisa
__________________ "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got" |
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I fed my kids the "crap" your talking about and all four of my boys are tall and thin. For not being judgemental you sure are
__________________ Books just wanna be FREE! See what I mean at: http://bookcrossing.com My other favorites www.paperbackswap.com www.wheresgeorge.com www.geocaching.com |
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You're right, there is a lot of junk baby food available now. It's not a good thing at all. We all need to stay away from highly processed foods and to market the stuff to babies and toddlers is just wrong IMHO. I would invite them over for lunch a few times and serve healthy, delicious food. Setting an example time and again may possibly get the message across that there are better food choices available. You know, actions speak louder than words. You are right to keep mum about your opinion. Saying anything to her about her choices is likely to make her defensive and angry.
__________________ Cecilia "We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it." Saint Thomas Aquinas |
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It's convenience and how little energy can I expend? The extremes are those who don't pay attention, don't care, don't know what to feed their kids to those who think they do every little thing right. There needs to be a balance in the middle where parents are paying attention. Stopping on the way to daycare to get a drivethrough breakfast is now the norm for so many. Why? Oh they will tell you they don't have time, they are too busy ( busy is now a 4 letter word to me, I can't stand to hear it). What are they busy doing? Busy saying they are busy. Why couldn't they have gotten up 15, 20, 30 minutes earlier and had breakfast at the table rather than in the car? The generation raising the next gneration has been lost. cpsfsisooi |
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My kids are only 9 and 7 but I don't remember all that crap in the baby food aisle. I can't believe that. I tried to make and puree most of my babies food but I did buy baby food but not baby "snacks". I mean, they got some baby crackers (forgot their names but my doc recommended them) but they certainly weren't cheese it type. Why would you get your kid hooked on crap at that age? I don't understand that. I gave my kids desserts occasionally: a bit of ice cream and a fry now and then but not as a rule. I hope what you are seeing is the exception and not the rule. I wouldn't say anything to her but if it bothers you so much, you might limit your time with her. Like the other poster above, I have had parents called Kool Aid or Hawaiian Punch *juice* and I correct them. I won't stand for those kids to get the wrong information. At preschool, parents were only allowed to bring 100% juice and healthy snacks. Most parents brought some sort of punch (hi c or sunny D or Hawaiian punch) and a granola bars with candy in it. What? Are you kidding me?
__________________ Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003 |
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Sunnyday - Just curious if the Mom has weight issues? I think that would make it very hard to not feel passionately about the choices that she is making on behalf of children too young to make them for themselves. I think the pre-packaged baby foods modeled after convenience and junk foods is all apart of our pushing children to grow up early....right up there with dressing young girls like Britney. I don't agree with it, but obviously many do... With babies, you really have the chance to get it right, to do the right thing for them before their own freedom of choice and exposure to many things makes it harder to control. I agree that it's a shame for parents to not take advantage of this opportunity.... cj/
__________________ I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips |
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allinaugust, i think you hit the nail on the head with your statement "People (general) like convenience and think that if it is "baby food" it is good for the baby." I think she sees it on the shelf with a Gerber label and thinks "That must be good for my baby. It's made by Gerber. A company that makes baby stuff would never make anything "not healthy" for a baby." ballmom, yes I am a stay at home mom (I would never be able to afford daycare with the ages of my kids! ). She is also a stay at home mom and I don't think time is an issue for her as she often tells me how bored she is. "But I'm not perfect, and apparently my food choices aren't either! But my baby is happy, healthy, and thriving! Doing the best we can!! Don't hold everyone else up to you're standards. They might do things different in another area than you do, and wonder about you." Please don't think I'm saying anything negative about you, I certainly am not. I have read posts you have made and I think that you seem like you are a great mom. I just don't think that babies need to be eating such things as chips and fruit snacks--especially when they only have 2 teeth. In addition to the nutrition aspect, I worry about how the baby can chew stuff like that.Polve, "It's not like she is putting alcohol in her bottle or giving her extra cough syrup for her to sleep." I won't even go there, other than to say that I did speak up and tell her maybe it was a better idea to "pump and dump" than to breastfeed her baby after she'd had a few drinks. She was horrified that she hadn't thought about that and had on occassion had a few drinks and breastfed right after it. "Also, you say you saw her buy snack foods at the grocery store, I don't think that gives you a realistic picture of what she feeds her child on a daily basis." Well, I have a pretty good idea of what they do eat on a daily basis, we have a "chat date" every day around this time where we chat on the computer and she and the baby are usually just finishing up with lunch then and I usually get a synopsis of what they're eating. lisacb, you stated exactly how I feel. "What can you do? I don't feel it's my business how she raises her family, though it makes me sad to watch." "I fed my kids the "crap" your talking about and all four of my boys are tall and thin. For not being judgemental you sure are" Thanks. yngsto6-Thanks for the idea, we'll have to have a dinner party some evening instead of doing our once a month meeting at a restaurant. "Sunnyday - Just curious if the Mom has weight issues? I think that would make it very hard to not feel passionately about the choices that she is making on behalf of children too young to make them for themselves." She didn't used to have weight issues, but when she got pregnant she used it as an excuse to eat they way she now eats. She would justify it by saying that she was craving it (believe me, I understand pregnancy cravings and probably did have a little too much of some things) and now I think she doesn't know how to go back to her "normal" way of eating. She would get down about not being able to lose the baby weight (don't we all!) but she didn't change her eating habits. And now that we're not in our early 20's anymore, the weight is a lot harder to get off. And yes, it is hard to watch her feed the baby stuff because I care about her.
__________________ I've had a Foreman Grill for about six years. I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself. Probably because I don't use it as a pillow. |
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Obviously, parents have the "right" to feed their babies junk food if they choose to do so, but that doesn't make it right. And I agree that parents who use the excuse that they're too "busy" are often actually too "lazy" |
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I am like you. I don't like the processed convenience foods the advertisers convince us we need. I didn't even like the jarred food because if you look at the labels it has no real nutritional value. I try to not go overboard and do allow desserts etc but only ones with real food ingredients. I can't believe we allow the manufacturers to make this crud. As long as people don't know any better or are too lazy to care and buy it, the manufacturers will keep making it. They learned from the cigarette companies that the younger you can get them hooked the better for their bottom line. You can get healthy snacks but you have to look or go to something like Tader Joes or if you can afford it go to whole foods. We are the first generation to have a shorter life expectancy than our parents because of this. I try to lead by example but some people refuse to even try. I am not the worlds best parent but it seems so simple to do the little things like make better food choices. It seemed so much easier to me to throw some veggies in a cup and throw it in the microwave and give it to my kids than get them some of the junk you find out there. All you can do is lead by example. Preaching just makes it worse. I have gritted my teeth until they hurt. It is so frustrating and you can only help guide. Good luck and I think you have the right idea about getting them to come over so you can show them how easy good food really is. Last edited by fafardsmommy; 06-05-2008 at 02:50 PM. Reason: fix spelling |
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I completely agree. Not everyone has the time, energy or know how to make their own baby food. Cut her some slack..
__________________ ![]() GO TONY!!!!!!!!!!! # 20!!! |
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I think we should all MAKE time to be sure our kids aren't eating crap all the time. You don't have to make your own baby food to choose nutritious options for your baby. But, that's just my opinion
__________________ Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003 |
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the time argument is a bit difficult to swallow as well---if you're cooking green beans for supper, you simply take some out and puree them to feed to the little ones before serving the meal. If there's any left over you mash them and freeze them... Energy argument I understand completely! I often don't have energy after working all day, and it would be a whole lot easier to eat out....but, it's more expensive, and definitely not as healthy. I think as an occasional treat or a "back-up" plan the pre-packaged stuff is good. But, that shouldn't be the main food source.
__________________ Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" |
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| I don't think these people do cook green beans for their own meals, somehow. I can't see anyone feeding their kid junk food when they eat well, but a lot of people do eat mostly junk. I've worked with people I'm pretty sure subsisted on Fritos and Mountain Dew. Not healthy, but seems to be possible, or a lot more of us would be dead by now.
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I'm glad this subject came up. We have a disturbing epidemic of childhood obesity in this country. Op is trying to figure out if there is anything she can do to help her friend's baby who is right there in front of her. It is easy for everyone to essentially look away (including me, who advised the same). Here is someone turning to these boards for suggestions on how to involve herself with sensitivity. I still haven't figured out how to do it, beyond my little one-liners to my friend. But I applaud anyone who is trying to find an angle to help save one child's health in the least offensive way she can. I don't think the op meant to get us defensive and examining our own child-feeding habits. But maybe we will look a little more closely. I know I am. Thanks, sunnyday212000 - just for making us think. |
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"How much know how does it take to give a toddler some Cheerios " SInce when is cereal a well balanced well rounded meal?? As long as the DR says the kid is healthy and there are no overt signs of problems, I think this person should MYOB. My son was born weighing 9"14 oz. People thought it was the "GARBAGE" that I was feeding him, it wasnt, I was a diabetic and he had issues at birth... He is now 6 feet 2 inches tall and weighs 180.. Hardly obese...
__________________ ![]() GO TONY!!!!!!!!!!! # 20!!! |
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We, as parents, do the best we can. I realize that. I have large children--good grief my 10 y/o is almost as tall as me (he's 5'6", wears a men's 11.5 shoe, and we buy his jeans by inseam and waist size now), so I really do understand "big" kids. My concern is not the "overt" signs of problems, but the things you can't see until it's a true problem (heart disease, diabetes, dental issues, etc). Heredity plays a large role in these sort of things and we can't control that. It's the things we can control that we should control.
__________________ Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" |
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Julie, I apologize if I am coming across as being nosy or judgemental. That is certainly not my intention--it is hard to determine the sincerity of a person through a computer screen. I have not said anything to my friend about her baby's eating habits, I have not accused her of feeding "garbage" to her child. Sure, I may think that the baby doesn't have the healthiest eating habits, but I certainly am more sensitive than to say it to her face. There are a lot of thoughts that cross my mind, but just because I think those thoughts doesn't mean that I verbalize them. (That sounds really confusing, sorry!) I just felt that rather than voicing my concern to her, I would voice it on an anonymous message board so I wouldn't offend her. I am sorry if I offended anyone with my post, it was not meant to start a debate. If I am not mistaken, you are a nurse? I know that nurse doesn't equal nutritionist, but I am sure that you would agree with me that a baby as young as ten months old would benefit more from eating a snack of Cheerios than a snack of Cheetos. (I don't mean to put words in your mouth, btw!) And I do understand how you felt when people were telling you that your son was chubby due to his diet, although with my daughter it was the other end of the spectrum. She was so tiny that people would offer their unsolicited advice, telling me that I starve her and whatnot, when in fact she was on nutritional drinks to help her gain weight and she ate like a horse, the child just has such a high metabolism that it was hard for her to gain weight. I did take offense to their nosiness, which is why I haven't said anything to my friend about this. Thinking something and saying something are two completely different issues.
__________________ I've had a Foreman Grill for about six years. I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself. Probably because I don't use it as a pillow. |
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I don't know..I guess I figured the extra time made for children in these areas when they're very young like this, guide them and put them in habits that are immeasurable for a lifetime. I know all of us personally don't know what kind of time she has available to her, but we don't know that she DOESN'T have the time, either. The "I don't have time" can be used for many other reasons other than...just not having time.
__________________ *~*~*~*~*~*~* *~* Ambrianna *~* *~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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Nurse does not = nutritionist. That is for the dietician to address... In the field I work in we encourage people to eat what they want to bulk up before chemo... Healthy or not we want the fat on them... I know someone is going to attack this and make a million and one comments about it but it is a reality... And if that is what she wants to feed her child I feel that is her business... No one should tell her what to feed her kid... Just like no one is telling you what to feed yours... To each his own...
__________________ ![]() GO TONY!!!!!!!!!!! # 20!!! |
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I don't know if I could "to each his own" with close friends and family and especially my kids. I want so much for them (health, happiness, etc) that I will always try to help if things aren't going quite right.....well, until the point where I have to let go.... I think the OP is trying to find a gentle and subtle way to help her friend and her child and I applaud her for that. I like the idea of having her over for a few meals here and there.... cj/
__________________ I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips |
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My youngest if 5, but as a baby, he did eat quite a few baby 'convenience' foods, in addition to jarred baby food and he turned out fine so far. I don't think there were as many on the market as there are now, but there were some. He's not a big veggie eater, but really, what 5 year old is. He has a few that he likes and a good variety of fruits. I don't allow my kids to be picky eaters. I just keep offering the veggies (or other things he doesn't like) and he has to try them. One day he' may decide he likes them -- my 8 year old has found a lot of things he throught he didn't like are really pretty good. Yes, my kids likes french fries and chicken nuggets, but don't get them all the time. I don't make stuff like that at home and I don't buy a lot of junk food, so they only get them when we go out or at a friends house. Honestly, I think forbidding children to eat certain foods (unless they have health issues that prohibit certain foods) just makes them want it more and when they finally get it, they will over eat. Everything in moderation, I think, is much better. My kids are allowed candy, but not every day and only a small amount at a time, they're allowed, soda, fast food, cookies, cake, etc., but not all the time. I try to buy the 'healthiest' junk food I can (baked instead of fried, natural ingredients instead of artificial, most nutrional benefit, etc.) and my kids don't seem to mind. The other day they asked for fruit roll-ups (which have basically no nutritional value) and since we haven't had them in the house in a very long time, I got some -- I found a box of the 'mini' roll-ups -- some thing as the regular ones buy half the size. My kids were *thrilled* with the mini size. FWIW -- both of my children are tall and thin and DH & I do our best to lead a healthy lifestyle (regular exercise, portion control, healthy eating, etc.) Sarah........ |
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WOW! I will have to go look at the baby food aisle. I had no idea that things had changed so dramatically. Would I say something to a FRIEND who was feeding her kid crap? Probably. But then I would also mention bad weather, road detours, recalled toys, hot sales, and 1001 other events of daily life. Part of being a friend is sharing expertise. If you are a mechanic and my friend and you heard my car running ragged, I would expect you to say- "Hey, you might have a problem with your car".
__________________ Lyn Clarke |
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