Was it deleted? I was honestly interested in other's opinions on this matter, but can't find anything now.

Looks like it was deleted.

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l/ l/ l/
Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

It was at least temporarily removed due to horrible posting by one particular member. It was taken off in the middle of the night to be reviewed in the morning by the "higher ups". They may have decided to have that thread permanently removed since it's not up again. Maybe Rose would like to start it again. It started getting bad when someone called rose a spineless jellyfish for wanting to report them anonymously. it went downhill in record speed! I too would really like to know what happens because as the life span increases we are going to run into that situatioin more often.

I saw that post and didn't reply. However, I was going to mention talking to a family member and politely advising them of the situation, maybe they are unaware of it.

I think if I were in that situation, I would offer to drive them on a few errands and tell them honestly that I don't think they should be driving. This is a very difficult thing to take from a person, so it's not easy.

Maybe also call the Council on Aging or a Senior Center,, maybe they can offer you some advice???

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

False! It was at least temporarily removed because Kathytheshopper stated right in the thread that she had REPORTED it over and over again and kept ASKING for it to be removed. She was quite upset that it hadn't been and in that thread, claimed to have emailed EVERY administrator and EVERYONE listed on the About Us page to complain! She even began a whole new thread about it:

http://www.mycoupons.com/boards/cafe...se-boards.html

If you're going to answer a question, you should answer it honestly! Liars aren't well liked. People with poor social skills usually have problems and arguments everywhere they go, on message boards and in their work environment. These kind of people never see a connection between their behaviour and their problems. They just continue to complain and invaribly blame others for their unhappiness.

True. The poor beleagured mod finally decided to let the 'higher ups' make the decision whether to delete it permanently. (Good move since Kathytheshopper claimed that she had already notified every 'higher-up' that she could find. LOL). I imagine they will decide that the thread adds nothing to the board and let it stay gone but THAT'S THEIR CALL. Threatening to leave their boards if they don't make a call you like is infantile, pathetic, and possibly self defeating since nobody likes being given ultimatums or the people who give them. They just might get tired of somebody whining all the time and be glad if they did go away and stop their constant complaining. Not a good idea to do that if you want a friendly board. Just a helpful suggestion!

I thought this quote was so good, that it should stand on its own...

So good, it should stand twice.

Extremely well said.

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I thought that mods were supposed to remain neutral and not take sides? I guess that's not the case on here. While I understand that moderating a diverse group of people is a difficult task, I'm sometimes surprised at what I see on these boards. Some of the moderators here actually join in with attacks on some posters. Rather than trying to quiet overheated situations, they actually aggravate the problem by taking sides against people on a range of issues based on their personal opinions. While it is understood that mods are human and naturally have opinions about things, those opinions should be suppressed when acting in the role of a moderator. It is simply not possible to take sides in an argument, actually attack and insult people with the opposing point of view, and moderate the argument in a fair and just way. Some mods don't even put forth a pretense of objectivity. This site should take steps to improve that situation by providing clear guidance to the moderation team, only allowing them to post their personal opinions when NOT posting as a moderator. I would hope that the administrators would eliminate mods that do not clearly understand what their role should be. While it is common for threads to become overheated, as moderators your role is to step in when things get out of hand and stop the mudslinging, not join in and make the problem grow. It is NOT the role of moderators to insult people, their religious beliefs, their country, or the leadership of any nation. ~Lisa

Good God - I could set my seasonal calender to when this sort of whining breaks out.

"People with poor social skills usually have problems and arguments everywhere they go, on message boards and in their work environment. These kind of people never see a connection between their behavior and their problems. They just continue to complain and invariably blame others for their unhappiness." That wasn't directed at anyone in particular. That was a simple agreement with a truism most of us learn by 5th grade. Although, I can see how you might have thought it was directed at kathywhoeversheis - considering this poster's biannual whinefest habits http://www.mycoupons.com/boards/cafe...asty-ones.html

Sorry...I wasn't aware that she had a bi-annual whinefest. This is the first I've heard of that. Any dealings I've had with Kathy have been pleasant. She seems like a very nice person. Any of the negative impressions that people have of her, well, I don't get that at all. Interesting... ~Lisa

It could be quarterly. I haven't paid enough attention. I just happen to remember the "boycott" thread because it was so silly and that was about the last time I was online until just recently.

WOW!

VERY well stated!! I totally agree!

I am not sure about the rules when it comes to Mods. I *think* people become mods here when they like the boards, and are interested in volunteering to oversee one. I think it's supposed to be a role where they are still allowed to be themselves.

I would be MUCH more suspicious of a mod who posted as a mod when she was moderating, and posted with an alias whenever she wanted to sound off with the rest of us.

If a mod was PAID, then I'd feel as you do, I think. I don't think there'd be anyone in line for the mod duty if they were supposed to stay out of conversations and remain unbiased and do it all for free...

This quote was absolutely not directed at Kathytheshopper.

It was a well-stated point from another poster, and it could be applied in different situations.

CaddyLisa - The mods used to have different member names and mod names. However, there was a huge bruhaha because the moderators were "hiding" behind their regular names. Some members took great pleasure "investigating" and digging out the regular members that were moderators. Now, we use or moderator names for everything. While we are moderators - we are members.

Initially we had different names to "protect" us from members. Yes - I do mean protect us. I have been a moderator here since Jan of 2000. I have had members threaten me and my children. There is so much that goes on behind the scenes that you all do not see or know. Not so much anymore thankfully.

Ambrianna is right - as a moderator many times we feel we are damned if we do, damned if we don't. We know we will not be able to make 100% of the members happy. We also know that not everyone agrees as to what constitiutes a "rules infraction" or "personal attack". We try hard not to pick sides. For the most part I feel we all do a great job. However, we, too, are human. We make mistakes and sometimes get wrapped up in the heat of the moment and react emotionally. We are allowed to react and post. Again, not everyone is going to agree with a moderators point of view just as not everyone is going to agree with a members point of view.

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Wasn't that the point?

No no no, that's not what I meant at all. I wasn't thinking of it as such directed at a member, but in general. To be specific a few members of my family who are ALWAYS unhappy and bitter, no matter what. That statement described them to a tee! It was just one of those statements that made my jaw actually drop.

Exactly! A few people from my own life came to mind when I read that. It was a powerful statement, at least to me. No "taking sides" was meant, hope that clears it up.

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Ambrianna...I think that you do a great job and you are appreciated...as well as all of the mods. Believe me, it's easy to sit back and criticize what someone is doing when you aren't doing a darn thing yourself. I'm the orchestra president at the high school. I don't get paid for all of the aggravation that I get sometimes. I'm a volunteer...The director seems to forget that I think. At times I've been "this close" to resigning...But I've hung in there because I'm the type of person who finishes what I start...I would never leave him hanging and just up and leave...I think I do a good job, but I'm sure that there are some parent's who think otherwise...Sometimes you just can't win for trying...At first I was so caught up in what people thought about me...Now I just focus on doing what I signed on to do...My attitude that "it's all about the kids" has gotten me through some tough times...I applaud you and all of the mods for volunteering to help out...I was just venting...Sometimes I just wish that they could remain more neutral...but they are only human I guess. ~Lisa

Thank you, I appreciate you saying that.

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FYI - Update on original post

I was the one who put the original post on Temp Delete - I looks like the original thread will stay off. The main reason is because the thread had gotten WAY off topic. Except for about the 1st 3 or 4 comments, the rest of the thread turned out to be verbal brawl and had nothing to do with the topic.

Rose, please feel free to restart the thread if you would like more input from the members.

We welcome all comments yea or nay, just please try to stay on topic. Members can always start another thread if there is an issue addressed that goes way off topic but you want to talk about.

Thanks so much!
Mary

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Mary

I had been the original poster about my elderly neighbor who insists on driving. I went to bed early that night and missed all the hoopla. I appreciate the kind notes from Kathy and Dnj51. I missed everything in the thread.

The point of the original thread was that I did occasionally drive for my elderly (feeble) neighbors (and I found out that another neighbor did too) but that they want to be independent and INSIST on now driving themselves. (The gentleman is legally blind--I haven't yet seen him at the wheel---and the wife uses a walker, is confused easily and forgetful and has dizzy spells)
They had 2 sons in Florida (I don't know their names and we live in NY) and one son who visits every other week (I actually never see him but I heard he does). I decided to speak to a few neighbors and found someone closer to them than I who will speak to the visiting son about the problem.
I don't like coming to snap judgements or quick decisions since I have found that it is prudent in many situations to examine every option and come up with one that is the least offensive but also arrives at a mutually agreeable conclusion.

I guess that is my personality. I think why not have peace and work things out correctly rather than have quick and sharp retorts and hostilities that only have to be smoothed over later. So much more work and sometimes unrepairable.
"Do all things in love"....while I don't always do this, it is an ideal I would like to shoot for.

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