I get anxious about speaking in front of people -- especially adults. It borders on panic attack. I know that I am harder on myself then I need to be.

What do you do to help you relax when you are genuinely scared of something?

Thanks.

Three words.......Box O Wine.

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bite me and get a brain!

Sorry OP, I have the same problem. The funny thing is... If I'm amongst the group, or even amongst the speakers, I can speak aloud to interject or crack a joke... no problem. But, if the group is focused on me, anticipating what I'm about to say... I get very nervous and stumble. I really hate speaking in front of a group, always have.

Do you have a speaking engagement coming up?

.

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~~~MsMiser

I used to speak professionally in insurance sales. Practicing helps, and the more you do it, the easier it gets....practice what you will say in front of your family.
HTH

I was put in a position once for my sons Blue and Gold banquet that I did have a panic attack! His Den leader never showed up and there was no one else to do it, but me. When I got up on the stage, I looked slightly above everyones heads, so as not to see everyones face (I knew mine would be doing something to try and make me laugh!). You know what? I've done it several times since then and it doesn't even bother me!

GOOD LUCK!

I remember my cousin joined a group called "Toast Masters" for people who experienced anxiety when it came to addressing a large group.

She loved this group - they would all practice speaking in front of each other. I remember that eventually she felt that even this group, though, became a little too easy to address - since she knew everyone else felt the same as her, and they all became so tight-knit that it almost wasn't as scary as addressing a group outside of the Toast Masters.

But she's glad she did it, and it did seem to improve her skills and her anxiety issues.

Good luck!
D

LOL, that's funny!!

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But they always come back together.

I am sorry I cannot contribute anything helpful for you. I have the opposite problem. I LOVE to speak to a group and would love to have a rapt attentive audience to listen!
My dream would be to have a tv or radio talk show and speak to a live audience eveyday. Or to go around making speeches to groups on a subject.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Close my eyes and then take a deep breath. After that I might a glass of wine or some hot tea.

About 4 times a year I get tapped to present a nominee for employee of the month at work. It is a small speech that is an introduction of the employee and the reasons our dept. feels they are deserving. It is presented at a luncheon for about 60 people.
I didn't think there would be a problem the first time I was asked because I do PA announcements all the time and am actually quite good at them.
Yup, didn't think there would be a problem, right up until the end of that first lunch. Then the panic set in. The only thing that got me through that first one was a lot of deep breaths.
Since then I have found that a few things help me relax.
I practice the speech on the drive in to work. My sweetie is the driver so he has to listen.
I always imagine that everyone there is someone I am so glad to see.
I start with a greeting and praise for all the nominees, which I guess puts peoples focus a little back on themselves and not so much on me.
And the last thought that goes through my mind just before I step up to the mic
"Hell, they can't eat me!"

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It's about learning to dance in the rain.

The same thing happens to me...I dread speaking in front of people. I think I posted something along the same lines last year. When I said that I'd take the position of the high school orchestra president, the only thing I didn't like about it would be that I'd have to speak in front of people...at the pot luck dinner beginning of the year, two recitals, and about four concerts. The first time I spoke I tried to make a joke out of it and acknowledged that I hate speaking in front of people. I told them that I'd rather be having teeth pulled out! I don't think that I sound good when I'm up there, but other people have said that I seem so relaxed (NOT!) and sound great. It is true that once you do it, it does get easier after that. I never went to Toastmasters but I should. Alot of people have recommended that. I'm on Paxil and Wellbutrin. They seem to help with my anxiety so I'm not as nervous as I used to be. I like to prepare what I'm going to say ahead of time and always have notes with me. On another note, If I'm stressed in general, I find that yoga really helps. ~Lisa

Xanex ! Wonder drug!

Thanks for all of the replies. There are some great suggestions... I appreciate it. Given time, experience, and confidence, hopefully I'll overcome some of this anxiety. Thanks again!

i allways pray

I have to speak in front of big groups once in awhile and yeah I always get nervous too, it's one of my least favorite things. Even my old boss who would speak in front of about 100 people every week (and was great at it!) said she got nervous every time and had butterflies in her stomach.

On a FN show I saw last week Bobby Flay said he gets nervous every single time he gets in front of the camera..I think it's very common, lots of people get nervous about public speaking.

I also have a friend who went to Toastmasters and said it helped a great deal in her career - she does corporate training to large groups of people and is more comfortable doing it now.

Defiantely XANAX for me too
Suzanne

If it's not too personal, can I ask how much you take? My doctor wants me to take 25mg four times a day to help with my high blood pressure, but I'm only taking it twice a day. I've done a lot of research and I'm worried about getting addicted

My Dr. just gave me a scipt for .25 to be taken up to 3 times a day.I have never taken it but it's for next month when I am around my MIL

Cuthie first off hon I am so sorry to hear this, because I can totally identify with you.. I have suffered with panic and anxiety attacks all my life.. Hon please believe me your not alone, at all.. Also kindly realize and try to relax and realize that while the symptoms feel truly real, they are not, nothing physically is wrong with you.. Also have you talked to anyone about these feelings or thoughts.. Just speaking to someone truly helps alot.. For me personally My dad also suffered and so did 3 of my brothers.. So I relied alot on my dad to talk to.. Also I do take medication to help and it so makes the difference, however thats a personal choice, but just keep it in mind.. Also there is a wonderful series of books to help called The Recovery Program which was started by the late Dr. Low.. These programs run all across the United States.. They use self help methods to cope.. For instance one of the methods is called using objectivity as a means of terminating a panic.. In other words get busy do something to take your mind off the feelings.. Also for me I have a wonderful Dh who when I am not feeling better I ask him to make me laugh or do something silly and it works all the time.. So hon I totally understand, kindly keep us posted and feel free to email me personally. If there is anything else I may help you with plmk peace and blessings and feel better... your not alone... Catherine

I have a long conversation with my friend Jack Daniels

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To Kellyjef I also take paxil which is 20 milgrams everyday and i take the xanax as needed.. Sad to say but as your doctor told you that xanax is indeed addicting because I been on it since 1993... When I truly try not to take it for a long period of time I feel those withdrawel symptoms so I was just wondering. While I agree its a personally choice to take any meds for me I have too. Zoloft is not addicting neither but Paxil worked better for me... There are other forms of xanax but again they are all addicting.. Edit KellyJef I take the same milgrams however with the paxil, I have never take more then 2 pills in a day.. So 4 seems like thats a high dosage, just asking and offering some help.. Peace.. Catherine

And his cousin Jim Beam

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There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one!
-Harry Chapin

A cold beer, hot bubble bath and a good gossip magazine! If that doesn't work...a nice backrub from my hubby will usually do it for me.

Don't forget my buddy Jose Cuervo.

To the poster asking about Xanax. Four a day seems like a lot. They totally knock me out and I would be sleeping all day. The doctor gave them to me originally for my gallbladder attacks. They would just calm me down and knock me right out in about 15 mins. I have since asked for them when I fly. . .that's about the only time I get really nervous. They're great for that and occasionally I take one when I can't sleep.

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"No one believes more firmly than Comrade Napoleon that all animals are equal. He would be only too happy to let you make your decisions for yourselves. But sometimes you might make the wrong decisions, comrades, and then where should we be?"
- George Orwell Animal Farm

I can't bring myself to even step foot back in a dentist's office after a horrible (awake) surgery a few years back where I had to be given almost 30 shots in the mouth just to half numb me. I get literally sick even trying to get up the nerve to go for a check-up or cleaning, so I haven't. Ugg. Bad I know. I'm sure I'm just setting myself up for more pain (the incident above was because my parents left my wisdom teeth in too long--long story). Last time I went, my dentist thought he might have to call an ambulance I was having such an attack in the chair (I don't 'freak' like that, just my pulse drops, can't breathe, get very white, etc.). He monitored me for over an hour before he would even touch my mouth. It was bad and embarrassing. Anyway, would I be able to take any of the anxiety drugs AND have dental work done? Or would that be a very bad combination. I can't avoid the dentist forever. If only they would/could put me to sleep for every single procedure. Tks.

I have this problem too .I usually just go ahead and have a panic attack and forgive myself afterwards.

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I quit going to the dentists after a few nightmare experiences.I have now avoided the dentist for about 15 years. I bought a Sonicare instead and have no problems with my teeth.
After my experiences ,I will never trust another dentist for as long as I live.

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As far as going to the dentist. I know all about the fears except, I literally have lived in the Dentist chair forever. I have had so much dental work its totally not funny.. I was told from a young age my dental problems were heredity and that things so matter what I did preventive wise would not matter. So actually from the age of 20 till 43 I lost all my teeth had them all removed but before that I had so many root canals and so many fillings and needles in my mouth I believe I hold the world record. So at this point 14 implants in my mouth and then I wear a 6 piece teeth bridge that I take in and out.As far as needles they do not bother me at all I guess because of all the many years of all the dental workI have had..But listen to me what does give me a huge anixiety attack sitting in that dentist chair, is when they want to put cotton tubes in my mouth. I totally feel like I am going to swallow them and gag and choke.. I have a huge huge fear of choking. But please hon do stop going to the dentist because someone you will pay for it..Try to take something to relax you because it horrible to loss all your teeth so young and the longer you wait the harder it becomes to go to the horrible dentist. HOnestly with all the technology that we have today dental work should be so much more easier to handle and they should have done away with those horrible needles by now.. peace and good luck,, I totally feel for you and anyone who suffers from panic attacks or fear of the dentist, its all too real.. Peace.. Catherine

I started having small panic attacks about a year ago. I had never experienced anything like that before, and I thought I was having heart failure (I'm 39), as it felt that someone was just sitting on my chest. After it happened a few times, I finally realized it was situational. I still have not gone on anything, because for the most part, I am scared of the meds. I may go a few weeks without one, and then have several a day for a stretch. I just have to get through them I guess. I don't have any tricks, other than occupying my time w/ busy work that will take my mind of things.

ROFL, that is exactly what I was thinking!! LOL!!!

I would just ask the dentist. Honestly the Xanax is really helpful for these types of things. One thing my doctor said to me when she first gave them to me for my gallbladder attacks (because I really didn't want to take them), was that it's not healthy for your body to go through that kind of stress. It's better just to take them if you really need to. I hadn't quite looked at it that way before she said that. I would definitely ask the dentist. . .you will feel much better if it's possible. Oddly, the dentist is one place I feel totally calm. . .never had any nerves about going. With the flying, I really think it's post 9-11. I can't remember feeling that way about flying before then. I know it's irrational and all. . .but it's so much better just taking the Xanax.

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"No one believes more firmly than Comrade Napoleon that all animals are equal. He would be only too happy to let you make your decisions for yourselves. But sometimes you might make the wrong decisions, comrades, and then where should we be?"
- George Orwell Animal Farm

For me personally when it comes to flying which I am never a big fan however I look at this from the point if I do not get on the plane I will not be able to visit all the wonderful places I have visited.. I also tell myself over and over again literally millions of planes fly all the time, how many times do u hear of a plane crash compared to all the car accidents a day..I take my xanax a hour before boarding and also having the television on the plane is a wonderful distraction.. The true thing that bothers me about the plane is the confinemet ,If I every feel like I am going to experience a panic attack there is no where to go only small bathroom. I always felt like if we were driving and I was not feeling well, you can stop the car get out walk around, but on the plane, you cannot do that.. So like I said we fly alot with Jet Blue and having your own personal t.v. is a pleasure and such a distraction from the plane.. Peace,, Catherine

Yay Xanax!!! I have been going thru a lot of financial stuff lately, and my dr. suggested that I give it a try. Hallelujah!!

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Four months ago, I changed jobs at the library where I work. I am in children's now. I enjoy most of my job, but to get up in front of a group is hard!!! I have to do storytimes, school visits, cub scout tours, community events, library - museum storytimes, etc. I didn't full appreciate how hard it was going to be before I took the job. I did get a very nice pay raise though.

I have a background in early childhood education, and storytime was always the favorite part of my job with the children. With storytime at the library, I have adults. Yikes! And you aren't building on skills throughout the year, like in a preschool setting. You are just presenting and hoping that you chose decent stuff for the age of what the children are SUPPOSED to be. Parents don't always look at the age group that is supposed to come.

The first few times at doing weekly storytimes were a big blur. Right off the bat, the very first thing I presented to the kids was a total bomb. I lost the whole interest of the kids. Now don't forget that I've got a ton of parents attending with these kids. I braved thru it but I was a major hot flash the whole time. Counting adults and children, my storytimes average 40 - 75 people at a time.

Four months down the road now, it is getting easier. I look at the kids and not the parents. I practice a little bit what my songs and fingerplays are going to be. I can't believe that I am getting paid to read, sing and dance in front of a crowd. Trust me. I can not carry a tune, and I am plus size so the dancing has jiggles. :-) And then the hot flashes start!!! NOT PRETTY!! :-)

As I am getting more comfortable, I am sweating less. I take a deep breath and plunge into what I am doing. I've gotten to know some of my regular patrons by name and that helps a little. Last week I had to pinch hit at the last minute and do an infant storytime and then a one year old storytime. I usually have 2 year olds. I had 45 minutes of prep time total. Once again I was very nervous, but I did it. It does feel good when you accomplish something, and you do get better with practice.

I was asked by the museum to do their storytimes for special events like dinosaur days. I would get paid $27.00 an hour!! Remember though, there is prep involved, and I would work 2 hours at a time every few weeks or so. That is why it pays so much. I think I am going to turn it down. I'm not ready yet, and I'd have to balance the hours with my library schedule. There is someone I work with who would be perfect for the job, and I'm going to see if she is interested.

Time and practice will help you. I give myself inner pep talks and tell myself I can do it, and that I will get better. I've actually had some very good sessions now. I still have minor bombs now and then, but I zip thru it and onto the next thing. I can't believe the very first thing that I ever did was such a major disaster!! The world didn't fall apart and life went on. People do understand.

Remember be nice to the library storytime lady!! :-) She's trying her best!!

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Donna

lol u read my mind but my answer is KLONOPIN...

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Michelle in Ky

First of all, if you know your stuff, then be confident because you WILL do a GREAT job!

Second, use humor to break the ice and get everyone connected, even if that humor is nothing more than making fun of yourself and how nervous you are. I gave a paper at a technical conference once where I told the audience that I had a full script of my presentation, so if I passed out from fright would someone please come up and resume the talk. I won a "Best of Conference" award for that paper presentation....this from a girl who used to break out iin hives and had to wear a turtleneck to hide it whenever I got in front of people.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Sigh..people wish I would shut up!!...lol..practice practice...vodka and valuim works too...<just kidding..never do drugs and drink and drive..call a taxi!>

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"Cast upon this globe without physical strength or innate ideas, incapable in himself of obeying fundamental laws of this nature which call him to the supreme place in the universe, it is only in the heart of society that man can attain the pre-eminent position which is his natural destiny. Without the aide of civilization he would be one of the feeblest and least intelligent of animals.."
Jean-Marc-Gaspard Itard

Thanks for the great advice on here. I have a high stress speaking engagement on Wednesday and so I'm really starting to feel tense. Luckily, I only have to speak for one minute (!) but that can feel like a million years when you are nervous. Breathe, breathe...

The strangest thing is that I can be so relaxed when I'm teaching. I just wish it would carry over to situations where I am speaking to my peers or people who are significantly important with regards to what I'm speaking about. Hoping that it will get easier with time.