Southern hospitality is a phrase used in American English to describe the stereotype that residents of the Southern United States are particularly warm and welcoming to visitors to their homes, or to the South in general.


So, what do you guys (or y'all...LOL) think? I want to hear what you have to say, then I'll give my opinion. ~Lisa

Yes, I do. I know when I have visited the south, how you are treated is much different than on the west coast (where I am originally from). I don't think it has to be just folks from the south though. I know that I LOVE to be in Vegas during the big rodeo they have every year. Why? All the cowboys!!!! They are SO NICE and gentlemanly. I have gone and they will give up their seats at blackjack tables if you want to play there, etc. Even though I am married...doesn't make a difference. So I definitly think there is Southern Hospitality but I also think there is a certain set of manners and hospitality that comes with being raised "country" as well. I know people in the est who were raised on farms or have that "country attitude" who have what is similar to "Southern Hospitality"/ It's so hard to explain

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compared to NY City, yes. I don't think everyone in the South has southern hospitality though. Like anyone, you will find rude people all over.

From someone who was born and raised in the South then moved up North. Yes there is a huge difference. When I moved here I always got told I was too polite and I needed to toughen up.

When I go home to visit I still see a difference in the friendliness of people down there compared to here.

I was told the same thing!
It's funny, my co-worker and I are from the South (me-Arkansas, her-Louisana) and we get complimented all the time on our "manners". The staff on the other accounts do not---even though they do the same job we do! The difference? We say ma'am, we refer to our customers as Mr. or Ms. (never first names unless invited to do so....), we promptly return phone calls, etc. And, here's the biggest difference--we listen to our customers and just chat! Sure, it may take an extra 5 min., but you know what? She and I have happier customers!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Yes, I believe there is also a huge difference. I know that my SIL is from Mich and when she moved down here she was floored with how friendly people were. She talked about how in Mich people would look at you crazy if you said Ma'am or Sir to them.She said it's like living in a different world down here Vs up north.

I have never lived in the North so really can't speak on how people act or don't act at home, But I do know how they act here while on vacation. But in order to not offend anyone here that might be from the North, I'll leave it with, I could never live up North.

OTOH,I believe you can find people w/o social grace any place you live, visit or should met, I find this to be more so Via the Internet than in person tho.

Having grown up in the southern half of the US and lived my adult life in the northern half, I have to say yes.

When a northern friend of ours moved south, it took him awhile to 'get it.' He got very annoyed when people would pass him and say, "Hi, how ya doin'?" and then not really WANT to know how he was doing! lol I told him the correct response was a very fast, "Fine, how 'bout yourself?" regardless of whether or not he'd had a root canal that day. It's a passing pleasantry, not a request for a heartfelt conversation.

I've not had anyone call me 'Hon' or 'Darlin' up here, and they think you're being sassy if you say Ma'am or Sir.

LoL I remember when I moved up here I used to say yes sir , ma'am. One time someone asked me a question and I answered Yes Ma'am. She turned at me all angry and said Don't call me ma'am! I had to apologize because I offended her by calling her ma'am.

Then another thing I used to get when I talked was "Your not from around here are you?" With my drawl I'd ask gee how did you know? Also they used to tell me I talked to slow. I needed to just spit out what I was trying to say. I still talk slow and with a drawl. I when I am in a large group of people my accent sticks out like a sore thumb and I have been up here over 10 years.

And I still say yes sir, ma'am. If someone asks me if I would like something I say Yes, Please. I was brought up with Please, Thank you, and to speak to people just as I would like to be spoke to and I still to this day follow those rules no matter where I am and what everyone else does. I guess it is the Southrn Bell in me lol.

Another thing I thought of:

Those of you who were raised the Southern way.

When you eat at the table, do you still sit stick straight, no elbows on table and napkin in lap? I do.
I also will not pick up my utensils to eat until someone else has started first. I sit with my hands in my lap and wait. I laugh at myself because I know that is a left over from when I was a young girl and my grandmother taught me that was the way a lady behaved at the table.

BIG BIG difference.!!! I went to N.Y with my ex and no one speaks to anyone, no one holds doors for anyone, etc. here, we speak to people we are meeting on the street, hold the door for folks coming behind you as you go in , no hats in the dinning room. that was a big thing for me. I am not used to seeing guys wearing their caps while sitting down to eat.or not wearing their shirts!!!!! also another thing I am not used to is not being answered when I speak to someone. I will never forget the checkers at the grocery store. never said a word till it was at the point of telling me what I owed. that is just plain rude to me. I spoke to them but they just looked at me. also, I was asked many many times where I was from. my accent is very very southern. Most of the people I met in n.y was in such a hurry to get to whereever they were going. would bump into you and then look at you like it was your fault and you were in their way! never say excuse me or I'm sorry. nothing. Just glare at you . not real friendly people where I was at. dont ever plan to go back either cause of it.I will spend my vacation money somewhere that people are glad to see you walk into their shop or store and not act like you are bothering them.

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Yes, I live in the South and have visited other parts of the U.S., and there is definitely Southern Hospitality!!

One thing I have noticed. I have noticed so many times, like on the Today show or whatever, the person will be interviewing a child, and the child answers with a "yes" or "no". I sit there cringing, thinking, oh that poor parent must just be dying! Is that what society has come to? I would probably march onscreen and ask my child what in the world he was thinking answering an adult like that!! My daughters , almost 21 and 19, would never talk to an adult like that. They also address my friends as "Ms. Cynthia " or whomever. They are not on adult level with an older person, and they should show respect. I also would correct any kids that tried to act like I was on a first name basis with them. I think maybe only one of my daughters friends have tried to speak to me that way, and I let them know that I was not their friend, I was their friends mother. Big difference.

I have lived in the South all my life (grew up on a farm in Arkansas). My husband was born in Arkansas but moved a lot all over the world as his dad was in the Navy. He lived most of his high school yrs. in Seattle, Washington and graduated there before moving back to Arkansas. He can turn his accent off and on. He said if you didn't learn to lose the Southern accent up North, people would stop you and ask you to speak, or just plain make fun of you (not fun as the new kid in school so he learned quickly to blend he says).

The area of Arkansas that I live in has tons of people moving in and out to work for a major corporation, most of these people are from the North. We get a lot of New Yorkers. (I'm editing this because I just re-read it and I certainly don't want to offend any one from New York as I am not directing this statement to them/that's not how I intended the sentence to sound--I have met a lot of families here from that state and this is why I used it--I am friends with several families from there). Yes, I can tell a major difference in people from the North and South, but we have kind and rude, good and bad people here too, and I have certainly met people that have lived in the South all their lives that are rude and hateful pretty much all of the time. I have met tons of Southerners that are far from hospitable. Ditto to the poster that mentioned this is becoming more and more common in the younger "me" generation. I guess that's where I see a lot of 'change' coming forth--the young people aren't really being taught the Southern rules anymore. The rural farming communities are becoming fewer and fewer, houses aren't built with front porches anymore for neighbors to gather. Just my opinion and view. I have no idea what they teach young kids in the North (I mean about being 'Northerners') as I have never lived there. I am sure that Northerners are as proud of their heritage as we Southerners are and are taught to be/raised to be. I do still see that there is a different 'vibe' in the South though--I'm sure it has a lot to do with the more vastly rural areas in the South and the slower pace of life in general, for the most part. However, if you travel much in the South from state to state, and even region to region within a state, you'll certainly find that the 'hospitality' varies greatly. Is very true also from the rural areas to the suburban areas in the South. I do see (sadly) the South losing some of it's flavor in the future though as I said earlier kids aren't being taught those 'Southern' style manners anymore (rarely) and the world is just shrinking with all of the technology available today and our ability to easily move from one area to the next in the world, therefore picking up other cultures and habits along the way.

Well .. as someone who was born and raised in UpState NY, but has lived in North Carolina for the past ten years I have some experience with this. People are people, I knew great people in NY and I knew lousy people in NY .. same for North Carolina. I can tell when we moved here how shocked I was about the animosity some Southerns have for Northerns .. I still hate being called a 'Yankee' or even 'Damn Yankee' because I have a different accent than the person. It would never cross my mind to call them a name because they talk different than I do.

I've raised three children here, my oldest was 2 when we moved here, my middle child a few weeks old and my youngest was born here two years later. I'm complimented by people all the time about how polite my children are .. by the teachers at the school especially. I was raised to be polite by Northern parents, I teach my kids in kind. Polite, kind, loving, good hearted people are every where .. just like rude, gossipy, judge mental people are every where. Seen it .. lived it.

I am from NJ and moved to NC and lived there for 6 months and they were the worst 6 months of my life. (sorry for any of you nice NCers) I came across people who had so much hatred for Northerners. I took my daughter who was 4 at the time to the library for story time and she went up to this little girl to talk and the little girl ran to her mom because to her my DD talked funny, so the woman came up to me and asked where we were from so me being me said "up the street" so she said "you're not from here, where are you from" so I said NJ and she turned to her DD in front of all the other kids and parents and told her "Maddie don't talk to her, she's a yankee and they are evil" apparently alot of the other mothers felt the same way. There was only one mom who allowed her son to talk to my DD and they moved there from PA. I ran across people like that in alot of places I went to. I think in the 6 montbs I was there I may have met a handful of nice freindly people. I am not saying the people here in NJ are nicer because I will admit there are good and bad all over, but I never heard anyone up here tell their child not to talk to another child because they were a southerner.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

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Wow, I'm totally saddened by your story, ishop2much! That makes me really mad that that happened to you guys. I have never heard anything like that in the southern state I grew up in (Arkansas), but like I said in my earlier post, the south varies greatly from region to region, I'm sure it's the same way in the northern states. I truly hope you don't judge us all by the ignorance of some.

I've enjoyed reading all of your replies. Some of them have made me change my mind somewhat...my original opinion was different than what it is now. I do believe that for the most part, I've been treated very warmly in restaurants down south. In fact, we were in a Sonny's BBQ the other night and our server was very, very sweet and friendly. She said "what can I get for you honey?" When I requested something she said "we can do that for you". I've usually never had a problem as far as restaurants go. As one of the posters above stated though, I haven't felt the love in most places though once they find out I'm a northerner. They seem very nice until I open my mouth and they hear my northern accent. Then their whole attitude changes. Many native Atlantans (and there are few of them left) do not like Yankees. To me it seems that they are still fighting the Civil War. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone from down South, but I'm just stating how I feel through my experiences. A few years ago I would definitely say that I did not think that there was such a thing as southern hospitality. In fact, I thought that they people up north were much friendlier and down to earth. The women that I first met when I moved down here seemed very fake and very, very materialistic. I remember when we would go on road trips back and forth to NJ to see family and friends. In our travels when we would stop somewhere south of Virginia, I would sense that everyone would stop and just stare at us when we walked into a restaurant. My kids got the same feeling so I know that I'm not paranoid. We look pretty normal and act pretty normal so I don't know what it was. I even felt that cops would tend to pull me over when they saw my New Jersey plate. My grandparent's on my Mom's side are from Alabama and Mississippi. I think my grandmother felt the reverse when she lived up North. She always felt that the people up there thought that she was stupid because of her southern accent (which she kept until the day she died and she lived up in Philly for more than 50 years!). I have met very nice, hospitable people from the North and South. I guess it is just the person...but I do think they tend to view you as an outsider when you move down here. ~Lisa