I cut and pasted this story from my local newspaper's website. It is just so heartbreaking and I fel so bad for this woman. I also am sending the director of the nursing home a letter telling him how what he did to this poor couple was beyond wrong and how would he feel if someone did something similar to one of his family members. I understand that the nursing home has a right to collect their money but what he did was wrong

"Catherine Stonuski is deeply in debt. She owes the nursing home her husband resides in more money than her house is worth, more than her husband's Social Security check can cover, and apparently more than she has in savings.


Her husband Stanley Stonuski, 92, has been living in a nursing facility since 2004. He has dementia, is incontinent and must use a wheelchair. The facility he lives in, Alameda Center for Rehabilitation and Care in Perth Amboy, says Catherine Stonuski owes $200,000 in back payments.

Since they have no children, Catherine Stonuski, 89, has been trying to sort things out on her own despite a weak heart. She lives alone in their two-bedroom house in Carteret.

The Stonuski's financial situation is uniquely their own, but their predicament illustrates one example of how isolation combined with advanced age can generate problems.

The couple apparently has no friends or relatives they can turn to for guidance, no legal representation. And, as the debt to the nursing home grows, so does Catherine Stonuski's mistrust of the world outside the comfort of her home. Now, she fears she's at risk of losing the house, too, since the nursing home has a lien on it.

And her own medical problems slow her down.

"I just came from the doctors and they told me my heart is weak, my blood pressure is high, my circulation isn't what it should be," Catherine Stonuski said, pausing to breathe between phrases, a side effect of her struggling heart. "I'm just a wreck. What's going to happen to Stanley without me?"

Despite repeated attempts to make payment arrangements with Catherine Stonuski, Michael Nieman, an administrator at Alameda Center, said she has not paid.

A year ago, she was deemed ineligible for Medicaid, the federal-state partnership program that covers medical costs for the poor, because her assets were too great. Program regulations require that a portion of those assets be used up before Medicaid will step in.

"She agreed to pay privately, to spend down the funds until Medicaid kicks in," Nieman said. Stanley Stonuski's care costs about $7,000 per month, including food, housing and medical care.

But the payments have not been made and Catherine Stonuski's debt has swelled. She has become increasingly wary of both Alameda Center and Medicaid and is reluctant to reapply.

"I don't know why, but I just can't talk to them," she said. "Because they're not going to do me any good . . . They're not out to help people, they want money, both Medicaid and Alameda (Center).'"

The nursing home hasn't been able to resolve the debt and has begun taking steps to compel her to pay.

Two weeks ago, on July 9, Nieman delivered Stanley Stonuski back home, offering to leave him in his wife's care since she couldn't pay. Catherine Stonuski said later she interpreted it as a "scare tactic.""He crawled into the house," Catherine Stonuski said. "They got him halfway up the stairs, his legs were all twisted. It was terrible. I can't get that image out of my head."

Nieman confirmed the account, saying that Stanley Stonuski "couldn't walk, I helped him up the stairs. When he got up to the top step he was basically crawling."

Nieman said he then asked Catherine Stonuski, "Are you sure you're able to care for him?" Catherine Stonuski said she could not.

So Nieman accepted a $10,000 check from Catherine Stonuski, though she told him she didn't have enough funds in her checking account to cover the full amount. He said if the check bounced, maybe Medicaid would recognize that she should now be eligible.He took Stanley Stonuski back to the nursing home. "I never intended to leave him there," he later told the Home News Tribune. "Either you take him home and care for him yourself, or let's resolve the issue. That's basically what I was trying to portray to her."

The next day, July 10, Alameda Center mailed Catherine Stonuski a 30-day notice that her husband would be sent home into her custody.

State help sought

The letter notes that Catherine Stonuski may appeal the decision and can contact the state Ombudsman for the Institutionalized Elderly for assistance.

The office of the Ombudsman for the Institutionalized Elderly, processes around 7,000 complaints a year with a staff of 13 people.

The ombudsman, Deborah Branch, said she could not comment on any specific situation. But after hearing a general description of the Stonuskis' situation, she said, "This is a matter we could be looking into. Without having more details, I would say I'm a little alarmed at what I'm hearing."

Catherine Stonuski said she has subsequently called the office's 24-hour hotline several times but has been unsuccessful in getting assistance.

Speaking generally about Medicaid, Branch said that when one spouse is in a nursing home and the other lives independently, "It is the single most complicated Medicaid product that exists."

The formulas are structured to protect some assets. "The intent is not to impoverish the spouse that's still in the community but at the same time also making sure the public isn't carrying the full cost of the care for the institutionalized," she said.


Catherine and Stanley Stonuski were married in 1946, and bought the modest house on Elm Street in Carteret in 1950 where she still lives amidst old photos and tidy furniture touched by sunlight that seeps through brown lace curtains. Her small frame fits comfortably in a narrow chair, her eyes blink behind large glasses as she reflects on her life.

Stanley Stonuski worked as a steamfitter plumber, she worked as a medical technician and later as a Registered Nurse. They never had children, but enjoyed a life together.

"We lived well, we did," Catherine Stonuski said. "We had money, we went on fabulous vacations. We paid cash for everything, we didn't live in debt. If I couldn't pay for it, I didn't buy it. That's how I'm used to living."

She dressed in a floral blouse and bright lipstick in anticipation of a visit from a newspaper photographer. She bustled through the house, her energetic steps belying her age.

Catherine Stonuski said she was never inclined to join social organizations or a church. "I had Stanley, why did I need anyone else," she said.

But now they are apart, and with age, their medical problems have compounded.

Catherine Stonuski had heart surgery two years ago which has left her perpetually short of breath. She fell down the front stairs of her home last month, suffering a concussion that knocked away her sense of taste.

"Prior to my accident, I shopped, I cleaned my own house, I did my own hair, I went to the post office, to the drug store," Catherine Stonuski said. "They used to tease me that I had roller skates for shoes. I walked fast, I talked fast . . . not anymore."

Noted for help
Alameda Center has been noted for it wings with staff dedicated to meeting the linguistic, cultural, and medical needs of Indian and Hispanic patients.

The center has space for 50 short-term and 200 long-term patients. Nieman said, of the long-term residents, only 14 of them pay for their care out of pocket, while the remainder are covered by Medicaid.

"We have people we'll send with them to help the process," he said. "We'll pick them up because they're elderly and they can't get around."

He said it is rare for a client to get into debt the way Catherine Stonuski has. The parent company of Alameda Center, AristaCare, has been collecting Stanley Stonuski's monthly Social Security checks, but those funds cover less than 20 percent of the cost.

Last year, the company took steps to ensure its rights to the Stonuski's assets. "We have a lien on the mortgage," Nieman said, acknowledging a document signed by Stanley Stonuski in May 2007.

The mortgage document shows that Stanley Stonuski agreed to pay $66,000 — then the value of the house — and a yearly interest rate of 7 percent, to be paid no later than May 15, 2007.

Under the default provision, the nursing home may declare default if Stanley Stonuski "fail(s) to make any payment required by the Note and this Mortgage within 10 days of its due date."

The document only has Stanley Stonuski's signature, even though the original deed has both of the couple's names. The document was notarized by Janel Hutchinson, Notary Public of New Jersey. Hutchinson is also Alameda Center's admission director.

Catherine Stonuski says she only just discovered the existence of the lien when she was going through papers in her home.

"I wanted get everything together before I die, I'm really looking death in the face," she said.

Nieman said Catherine Stonuski was present when the mortgage document was signed last year. Although the document does not include a clause specifying that no action will be taken while Catherine Stonuski is alive, Nieman was adamant that she will be allowed to continue living in her home.

"No one is taking her out of the house while she's alive," he said. "Legally you can't do that, you can't just kick someone out of their house. That's not our intention.'"

Catherine Stonuski is not convinced the nursing home will let her keep the house, but she's determined to fight for it.

"If they're going to take my house, they're going to have to take me feet first," she said. But she slips easily back into a cloud of anxiety and bewilderment.

"I can't believe this is happening," she said. "We saved all our lives."

__________________
~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

That is sad. My grandfather had to literally divorce grandma so that he would not have any ties to her. Then the State took care of her. He didn't want to divorce her but if he didn't, this would have happened to him. this is something that they don't tell people because I truly think the nursing home is a little bit muddy with some of thier dealings. Not all nursing homes are bad but I would say that most are in it strictly for the profit.

My mother was in a nursing home for several years. It was partially paid for by her with her Social Security disability checks. Medicaid paid for the remaining amount due each month. Before she entered the nursing home she required at home care for many years. When my father passed at the young age of 49, he left my mother in a secure position and figured that she would always have enough money to pay for whatever she needed. That was not the case. She paid for her own at home care for years, and it was very costly. She spent down what money she had, and once she met the financial guidelines she was able to get Medicaid to help out. When she passed, the state requested her home be sold, and once that happened...the check was handed over to Medicaid. Although it was difficult, I did understand the concept. After all, they had helped pay for her medicines, doctors, and nursing home care. Although it would have been nice to be able to keep our family home, I knew that it was a debt that must be paid.
Its a very difficult problem and as the years go by, I have a feeling it will get worse. People are living longer, and someone has to pay for the care.
In this case, I do not believe the nursing home can *kick* this elderly lady out of her home. They will have the rights to it upon her death to help pay off some of the debt that is owed. That part I do understand.

I don't see how the mortgage could be valid. You have to be competent in order to enter into any contract and he clearly was not. The heavy handed tactics the nursing home is using are disgusting. What she needs is a lawyer.

Gee, I am really impressed with your integrity -- most would-be "heirs" do not share your values

This whole story is so so so sad and I sincerely wish all goes well with this lady however my parents are both senior citizens and so many people take advantange of them and I would be very careful when choosing a lawyer hopefully she or whomever will find someone who will have her best interest and needs at heart peace to this lady catherine

It was very hard to watch the home in which my father had been born and grown up in be sold. I would have loved to been able to keep in it my family, but my dh and I could not afford to purchase it. We had paid to heat it for one winter and it drained us.
Over the years, Medicaid paid for years of my mothers care. Much more money was paid out by Medicaid then my mother and father ever paid into the medicaid system. Although it was difficult to hand that money over, I did know it was the right thing to do. When my oldest daughter entered college, and that first bill arrived, it really did hit me when I realized that her college education could have been paid for with some of that money. But, part of the reason their is such a problem with the system is that so many times, more money is paid out than ever put in the system.
If my mother had put her home in my name, we would have retained the money. But, that had to be done at least seven years before she started getting Medicaid benefits. I have seen this done, and the grown children become heirs and there is nothing that can be done to collect the debt owed. I am not so sure that is very honest either...a debt is a debt, I have very mixed feelings on the subject

I can tell you are the type of person who doesn't need to read the few words I am typing, however.

How refreshing to read about someone who is responsible and honest. It's been a long time and when I read this type of situation, everyone wants to "protect" the family home, as in protecting their inheritance. Everyone wants that which is not rightfully theirs. You saw in your mother's case, what had to be done and that her assets were used for her care. I say continue to hold your head high, do the right thing and maybe a few others will too so we can get our society turned around in a positive way.

dl

I am probably in the minority here but as to the OP, I think there may be more to this story than we are getting.
I would like to hear more detail about her finanaces. It doesn't seem we are getting all the details. If she is on the up and up, why isn't she seeking legal relief?
I am not sure about New Jersey but most states have an ombudsman for convelescent/care homes that citizens can contact when they suspect mishandling of their loved ones care. Also I would think she could seek help from the local PD as (I believe) every state has elder abuse laws now.

I think there may be more to this story than meets the eye.

__________________

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

I do have to agree that I think there is more to the story. I would be curious to hear more details....

Exactly. I do, however, think it is very, very disheartening to know that she is in the minority.

But, I do believe that having that much integrity will absolutely come back to you positively in a lot of different ways.