My DH's family and my family are from the northern part of our state. We moved south, and a few years later his Sister moved south, went to school, got married. She is now pregnant. She said that she was having a baby shower up north where many of her friends and family live. I thought her Mom was giving it. No, she told me she is doing one up there and one down here just to wrangle more gifts. I am always looking for a reason to go up and visit family and friends, but do I go to the shower and give her a gift? I know one of her friends down where we live is giving her a shower that I am invited to also. It just seems like she is holding out her hand saying "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" like my children do in Chuck E Cheese!

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You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

WELL...it does sound like she just wants more gifts but often, the friends in other parts of the state WANT to give gifts. Having a shower for them makes them happy as well as gives the mom to be more gifts. It's not something *I* would do but I seen it done a lot before (as well as double bridal showers). I usually have more than one item as a gift at a shower (I don't do the "big gifts" but rather diapers and something else registered for). I would go to both showers (if invited) and give one gift at one and the other one at the 2nd one. I would not buy an extra gift you were not planning on.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

That sounds reasonable, sexysmurf. Another idea would be to choose the one you'd like to go to and politely decline the other because of other plans. Ann Landers always said that even if your other plans were to wash your hair...they are still other plans. You're not lying and no one needs to know.

Nothing could be as bad as the infamous "Purse shower"

I'd only go to one of them...and only get her one gift. Do whatever is most convenient for you. I'd probably go to the one that was closer to where I lived. Just because it would be inconvenient for me to try to get someone to help me with the kids activities the weekend I was gone...plus the traveling and all of that. ~Lisa

One gift- one shower. AND, for those looking for the perfect excuse NOT to do something- All you have to say is "Oh, kid, I have to tell you, my hemorrhoids are killing me. The blood..." That is as far as you will get before the other person turns green and says, "Oh don't worry about it". One exception- don't tell that story to a nurse! She will give you remedies! I have been using that story my entire life to get out of doing anything I wasn't in the mood for. NO one has ever asked me for more details!

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Lyn Clarke

We can think what we would do, but you are the one to decide.
You said you are looking for reasons to go upstate.....so if you like parties, like the people who are going and would enjoy it.....then go. If you are invited to the second shower and do not want to attend another one, just decline that invitation and state the truth, that you already attended the first one.
BUT like I said, if YOU enjoy parties, enjoy the people and want to go to both, then go to BOTH. Bring a small gift to both, bring one big gift to one and nothing to the other, or a small gift. Many baby showers here in NY do not open the gifts anymore and so no one would even know what you did. Or if you brought nothing (and told your SIL in advance) who would know?? Who is keeping count?
Give the gift you want and attend the parties if you would enjoy them.

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Ditto that! Baby gifts are fun and easy to find. And easy to spend a little or a lot on, so just do what moves you.

IMHO go to both (see your family and friends) but she only gets one gift.

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Laura

I personally enjoy seeing friends, family, and attending festive gatherings so I would go to both. I'd give my "real" gift at one, and then a small outfit, blanket, some such at the second. Have fun, whatever you decide. And congrats to your SIL!

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WAHM to DS (9)and DD (6½)

I think that this is what I would do! Last year I was invited to two for my friend and she asked me not to bring a gift since I had already given a gift. No one is going to know or care so don't worry about it, and if they do who cares?!?!?!

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Recently married June 6, 2008! The wedding is over, now it's time to cook!

If I was invited, I would go to multiple showers for a family member (as long as I liked them, we got along, etc.). Since it's family, I would buy one larger gift (like a stroller, car seat, swing, high chair, etc. -- maybe go in with other family members for it, depending on the circumstances) and then at the second shower, I would give diapers, wipes, etc. These can be purchased with coupons and on sale, so you wouldn't need to spend a lot to make a nice gift.

I would not feel obligated to go to two showers, but I would if I wanted to.

My SIL lives out of state and I didn't attend her baby shower. It was way too much for me to pay for travel for a weekend (would have to fly -- too far to drive for just a weekend). I sent a nice gift and called it a day. I also made all her favors and thank you notes. I know the family was upset with me, but I just could not do it, especailly since SIL & I are not close. Now, for my sister, I would, but I couldn't justify it for SIL.

I really enjoy baby showers so I would go to both. I also like shopping so I would give half the gifts at one shower the the other half at the other.

I'm not sure if you said when the shower is going to be...it might not be for awhile...but just curious as to which way you're leaning?...Have you decided yet? ~Lisa

I booked a flight up North. I'm giving her the quilt I made to match these cute little Robeez slippers I bought when we first found out she's pregnant. I'm going up with a girl friend, we're leaving the kids at home and we're going to have a girls weekend. When SIL has the second baby shower, I'm still not sure. Maybe I'll just get her a box of diapers, or make him a few cute little hats. I still don't know. The only thing I know is that I need a weekend off (SAHM) and I want to see my Mom and Dad. So I'm taking advantage of her shower. I feel like I'm just as selfish as she is. Thank You for all your advice, it's giving me a lot to think about.

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You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one