Posts are open and unmoderated, and do not necessarily reflect the views of MyCoupons.
Obscene, abusive, silly, or annoying remarks may be deleted, but the fact that particular comments remain on the site in no way constitutes an endorsement of their views by MyCoupons.
Posts that contain phone numbers, addresses, or other personal information will also be deleted.
REMEMBER: posting at MyCoupons is a privilege, not a right. Abuse that privilege, and your account may be banned.

Looking for printable grocery coupons? We have them right here!


Go Back   MyCoupons.com Shopping Boards > My ShoppingBoards Community > The Cafe - 'TC'
 

The Cafe - 'TC' So? Your daughter wants her belly pierced? Your cat keeps using the couch as a litter box? Your husband taped the Hockey game over your wedding video? Your neighbor has a gnome collection and it makes you mad? Pour yourself a cup of coffee and come on in to The Café! Talk amongst yourselves...discuss, question, reply, or respond to many subjects!

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 06:11 PM
Cuthie's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Posts: 6,254
Rep Power: 167
Cuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond repute
Do you have a 'best' friend?

Outside of my husband, I do not. I was very hurt many years ago by a friend that I called my 'best' friend. I now have a lot of friends and it varies as to how strong the friendships are but I no longer call any one of my friends my 'best friend'.

Also, it doesn't help a lot that I am basically a loner that would rather be alone with my animals then with people, sigh. It bugs me about myself.

I've heard others on these boards mention their BFF, best friend, etc... I am a bit envious but I will never go that route again.

How about you? Do you have a 'best' friend? If so, how do you define your friendship?
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 06:17 PM
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Posts: 2,824
Rep Power: 47
Brendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrendasm1 has a reputation beyond repute
YUP!! ME ME !!
I am 40 m(forty) years old, and met my BEST FRIEND when I was six...we have been friends for thirty four years!! She has been with me though every thing in my life, and I in hers. She is more like my sister than anything. I almost lost her this summer to legionairres(you may have read my posts about that).
I am blessed and thankful to have someone totally on my side, rooting for me, and there whether I am up or down. I can honestly say in 34 years, there has not been a cross word between us. I am lucky, I know
When someone says something that makes me feel crappy, I just call her, and suddenly I feel good. Hopefully, I do the same for her. every New Years Eve she calls me at midnite blastingRamones songs to wish me happy new year...she is oldest DS 's godmother, and was my maid of honor. I would give her a kidney, a chunk of liver or a leg if she needed it.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 06:33 PM
maryelizz's Avatar
Expert
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 395
Rep Power: 11
maryelizz is a glorious beacon of lightmaryelizz is a glorious beacon of lightmaryelizz is a glorious beacon of lightmaryelizz is a glorious beacon of lightmaryelizz is a glorious beacon of light
Outside of my BF (Boyfriend) I dont have a best friend either I also when I was younger got burned bad by a bestfriend and well figured I dont need to go thru that again, so I do also have alot of friends but none are Bestfriends. who knows maybe it will change but as of right now, Ill just stick to a few friends...
__________________
Proud mom to 4 great boys Anthony19,Nicholas16,Michael3,Sean1
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 06:42 PM
ItsJustMe's Avatar
Expert
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: With Two Jews
Posts: 309
Rep Power: 25
ItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond reputeItsJustMe has a reputation beyond repute
I do. She has been my BFF for 9 years. We have had our differences but I love her like a sister. My other 2 BFFs are my sisters so I am a very lucky girl.
__________________
Calling a illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist."
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 07:32 PM
lisacb's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,718
Rep Power: 83
lisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond reputelisacb has a reputation beyond repute
No, I don't, either.

I had them through school and then we all went very different directions with our lives and grew apart. I had one in my old neighborhood for a few years, but she was so competitive about everything, it got old and we grew apart.

I'm envious sometimes, too, of people who have such close friends to share everything with. But, by the same token, DH & I are very close and have never had the need to go out with "the guys" or "the girls". We are real homebodies. We'll be married 19 years in October and it's worked for us so far!

Lisa
__________________
"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"


"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything they have."
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 07:33 PM
dollydeal's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Ohio
Posts: 8,365
Rep Power: 81
dollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond reputedollydeal has a reputation beyond repute
My mom is my best friend.
__________________
May you be blessed
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 07:37 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Fort Worth, Tx
Posts: 140
Rep Power: 13
katamasmom is just really nicekatamasmom is just really nicekatamasmom is just really nicekatamasmom is just really nicekatamasmom is just really nice
Not me either. I have had some very very close friends. And some of them still are friends, no longer very close and I have no one who I can confide in. A few years ago I was also truly hurt by someone whom I thought was near to a best friend, more than on eover the years actually. I find I no longer want to put forth the effort to develop a friendship. It is not worth the heartache that results. Interestingly, the people I was friends with in my hometown are still friends. The people I have become acquaintanced with in my (married) town - of 13 years - are really not friends. A very different attitude here.
Sad but true.

katamasmom
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 08:16 PM
cashchik's Avatar
Expert
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: NW Arizona
Posts: 398
Rep Power: 75
cashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond repute
I don't think so. I have friends that are long time, that I accept for who they are. You know, warts and all. But if I had to say Best Friend it would be my sweetie. We can talk about anything, fight fair and always have each others back.

Another point is that I make friends with guys much easier than women. I was pretty much raised by my dad and brother so I am comfortable in friendships with guys.
__________________

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 08:16 PM
pugsly1234's Avatar
Master
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 1,022
Rep Power: 17
pugsly1234 is a splendid one to beholdpugsly1234 is a splendid one to beholdpugsly1234 is a splendid one to beholdpugsly1234 is a splendid one to beholdpugsly1234 is a splendid one to beholdpugsly1234 is a splendid one to beholdpugsly1234 is a splendid one to behold
I really don't have a best friend. I have a few good friends but no best friend. My best friend in school and I are still good friends (we talk every few weeks) but I wouldn't call us best friends anymore. I am friends with my daughter's friends' moms and we hang out (girls and moms) and that's fun. But no BFF there either!

Quite honestly, since adulthood, I haven't "required" a best friend. I too am a loner. Alot of my friends HAVE to have someone with them to go shopping. Not me, I can shop alone and be happy as can be. But, I'm an only child so I sort of attribute it to that (though in school, I wasn't that way, come to think of it--I always had a BFF). In addition, since having children, I treasure "time alone". I guess I just don't have to have someone with me to do things though sometimes I do miss it. My DD and I hang out and my DH and I hang out (and always have my little man around). Right now, at this time in my life, that's good enough for me!
__________________
Mom to a beautiful 15 year old DD and my handsome little man who's 6!

~~~GO DALE JR!!~~~

Last edited by pugsly1234; 08-06-2008 at 08:19 PM. Reason: added more info
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 08:36 PM
no_cover's Avatar
Lifetime Member - Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 2,929
Rep Power: 13
no_cover has a spectacular aura aboutno_cover has a spectacular aura aboutno_cover has a spectacular aura about
I haven't since high school. I have a couple of friends, a lot fo acquaintances, and DH, along with the kids. I don't have the time or energy to spare for the effort it took to maintain a BFF relationship the last time I had one.
Reply With Quote
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 08:56 PM
blondie52172's Avatar
Expert
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Iowa
Posts: 737
Rep Power: 11
blondie52172 has a spectacular aura aboutblondie52172 has a spectacular aura aboutblondie52172 has a spectacular aura about
I have the bestest best friend. We are there for eachother when the chips are donwn, when there are good times and bad. I didn't realize just how much she felt the same way about me till a couple of weeks ago when her DS was into some stuff (long story) and her and my DH were having a discussion about best friends. She said she really realized what a best friend was untill the day of her Dad's funeral and when she looked up she saw who her best friend really was and it was me! Now with my DH's father just diagnosed with terminal cancer she is ther for me and what ever my kids and hubby needs. That is a best friend and I'm sure the OP has one of those she may just not be able to see it right now.
__________________
I don't have hot flashes, I have short, private vacations in the tropics
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 09:13 PM
njfl's Avatar
Lifetime Member - Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Southern New Hamps
Posts: 422
Rep Power: 28
njfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond reputenjfl has a reputation beyond repute
I have a best freind. Funny thing is that she`s been my best freind for at least 15 years but I dont see her that often.

She lives about 2 miles from me but we keep in contact and she`s the one person if im down I can go right to her and she has the time for me(samething for her)

We are so much alike its scary. Love you Donna. I call her my honey.

nancy
__________________
NANCY:
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 09:13 PM
linnybop's Avatar
Lifetime Member - Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: right here
Posts: 4,323
Rep Power: 90
linnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond reputelinnybop has a reputation beyond repute
I am so sad for you all that don't have a BFF. I am happily married to DH, for 19 years, but BFF (alright Kellyboysmom) and I have gone through heaven and hell together for the last 24 years--since we were 14. We are 38 and 39 respectively-I am the younger chick! haha. We have had cross words, but the beauty of it as that we respect each other enough to know that those words are just constructive criticism, and are meant with the best intentions. If we get together once a week, that's great. If we can only make it once a month, that's fine too. What is so cool, is that my DH and her DH met us all together before we all were married and get along so well---and our oldest kids were born two weeks apart and have the best friends forever since birth-gotta love that!
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 09:42 PM
cashchik's Avatar
Expert
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: NW Arizona
Posts: 398
Rep Power: 75
cashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond reputecashchik has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by linnybop View Post
I am so sad for you all that don't have a BFF. and have the best friends
Please don't feel sad for me. Because I am reluctant to call one friend "Best" does not mean that I don't have friends that are the best.

I have friends that I haven't seen or spoken to in 4+ years and if they emailed tomorrow to say they needed a place to stay while in town they know they have it. Even if we aren't going to be home.

I have friends that know if they call at 4am and need a sober driver or someone to throw bail, I'll be right down.

I have friends that I can call (and trust) to look after our house and animals and they will do it.

I am fortunate that I think I have good judgement when it comes to people and don't have trouble putting people out of my life that aren't good to or for me.

__________________

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 09:46 PM
ILUVLUCY420's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Long Island New York
Posts: 3,809
Rep Power: 21
ILUVLUCY420 is a splendid one to beholdILUVLUCY420 is a splendid one to beholdILUVLUCY420 is a splendid one to beholdILUVLUCY420 is a splendid one to beholdILUVLUCY420 is a splendid one to beholdILUVLUCY420 is a splendid one to beholdILUVLUCY420 is a splendid one to beholdILUVLUCY420 is a splendid one to behold
Wink

Of course besides my dh thomas I have 2 my cousin Janet we are only 5 years apart we are more then cousins we are more then sisters we are best friends and the other is my friend Stacey I have only known her for 10 years from work but man oh man I love her to death peace to all catherine
__________________
in memory of my beloved beautiful brother Sonny who is now an angel in heaven
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 09:59 PM
momrajum's Avatar
Expert
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northern Lower MI
Posts: 515
Rep Power: 25
momrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond reputemomrajum has a reputation beyond repute
I do. We met when we were both first married and in the military. More than 22 years ago now. We have been through SO much together and she loves me unconditionally and I her.

I will never forget when I went to FL to see my daughter and the day I got there my mom had a stroke and we had to fly back immediately. I had had a terrible flight there, then the stroke, then the flight home, I was exhausted. When I stepped off the airplane in Flint, there she was next to my DH. She just held me and cried. She had come from IN. I'm crying just thinking about it. I had no idea she was coming. We are always there for one another. Man I love her!!

Other than her, my DD is my best friend, but being my daughter, we don't talk about everything, ya know? lol

Melissa
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 10:01 PM
jodialcala's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: arizona
Posts: 2,875
Rep Power: 17
jodialcala is a splendid one to beholdjodialcala is a splendid one to beholdjodialcala is a splendid one to beholdjodialcala is a splendid one to beholdjodialcala is a splendid one to beholdjodialcala is a splendid one to behold
I have 2 really good friends that I met after graduating high school and starting jobs. One I have been friends with for 22 years and the other for 12 years. Other than the 2 of them I have 2 sisters and my Mom that we do every thing with. I can talk to any one of them about anything and count on them for advice and support and they can count on me as well. I have NEVER fought with either of my BFF's but my Sisters and I have disagreements every now and then. I have NEVER fought with my Mom(not even as a teenager--guess we know who is her fav, LOL).
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 10:24 PM
jaded's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Si, Se Puede!
Posts: 6,226
Rep Power: 82
jaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond reputejaded has a reputation beyond repute
Yes. Amy has been my best friend since we were in 11th grade. Good, bad, etc. She knows more about me than anyone in the world. I love her so much!
__________________
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 10:32 PM
Icansavedaily's Avatar
Lifetime Member - Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 515
Rep Power: 31
Icansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond reputeIcansavedaily has a reputation beyond repute
I have many " best friends" and am their best friend. I found out years go tht one friend can not fulfil all my needs as a friend. I have and am there for me in everything and they are there for me. We may have different intrests, sports ,gardening,,boatingg and its fine that we don't share that with each other but we wouldn't trade the friendshipe for any aquantance. I lost 2 friends last year to deaath, one i had known from birth and went all thru school with and known for 58 years. The other I had worked with for 37 years my heart died a little with each.
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2008, 10:40 PM
dalmatiank's Avatar
Lifetime Member - Expert
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Southern, CA
Posts: 664
Rep Power: 29
dalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond reputedalmatiank has a reputation beyond repute
I have a really great friend since 3rd grade, that's 20 years! we have become closer since my wedding,but I do not know how we would be considered.
i am happy with my hubby....he is my true best friend.
__________________
Recently married June 6, 2008! The wedding is over, now it's time to cook!
Reply With Quote
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2008, 12:42 AM
ballmom's Avatar
Master
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Posts: 894
Rep Power: 49
ballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond reputeballmom has a reputation beyond repute
My friend Cynthia has been my BFF since 5th grade, and we are now 40!! She actually lives right next to me. When we built our house she came to see ours, then bought the one next door!! Thru the years we have gone weeks , even months without talking, not on purpose, just busy with life, but always know the other is there at the drop of a hat. We pick up right where we left off. She knows me inside and out, faults and all, and there are ALOT on my side, and she loves me anyway. I also have many other friends that I don't speak to all the time, but we are all there when needed. It's so hard to keep up friendships daily when you work and are raising a family!! But so worth it! I have always felt very blessed friend wise!
Reply With Quote
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2008, 01:17 AM
MyTime's Avatar
Lifetime Member - Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Western Kentucky
Posts: 3,978
Rep Power: 64
MyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond reputeMyTime has a reputation beyond repute
The only friend I have had since high school I can honestly say is DH is my one and only friend. I just don't make friends easily. I'm really shy and have to spend time with someone to be comfortable with them. For some reason I've always made friends easier with guys. Still now I end up getting along with DH's friends than he does. I suppose because he brings them around and I slowly warm up to them and feel comfortable around them. I guess if he had women friends I might too. lol

It is really sad and lonely, I would love to have have a friend/friends to do things with. Especially now that my kids are older and do most things on there own, which in turn leaves me alone a LOT.

Laura
Reply With Quote
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2008, 03:07 AM
susiecat's Avatar
Premium Member - Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Upstate South Caro
Posts: 2,270
Rep Power: 15
susiecat is a jewel in the roughsusiecat is a jewel in the roughsusiecat is a jewel in the roughsusiecat is a jewel in the rough
Seems a few people in my life refer to me as their best friend, but I don't consider them as such. Is that wrong? is it bad?
People seem to find it easy to tell me everything. I am a good listener, and I have a great memory....umm what was I saying? :P No seriously I have a good memory, so I remember things people tell me in passing and I bring it up later and they think I really care... Don't get me wrong, I do care, just not to the point they think I do. I find it very hard to open up to anyone. I've tried. Never works out. I guess I'd rather be the listener than the talker.

I to am a only child and my alone time is precious to me. It's very much needed to keep me sane infact!
__________________
I'm naturally funny. D'you know, sometimes I walk down the street and people just burst out laughing - Linda La Huges
Reply With Quote
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2008, 05:26 AM
Expert
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 415
Rep Power: 12
sadarl is a glorious beacon of lightsadarl is a glorious beacon of lightsadarl is a glorious beacon of lightsadarl is a glorious beacon of lightsadarl is a glorious beacon of light
I guess I just 'woke up' over the past few years and realized my 'best friend' since kindergarten (I'm 37) isn't really much of a friend to me after all. I've been there for her over and over, even walking in from a 5 hour trip and getting right back in the car at 11 p.m. to drive 2 more hours to see her in her time of need. She was my maid of honor, she left me out of her wedding, etc. I have been to the hospital to see every child she has given birth to (and one she lost, family funerals, etc.), but she could never be bothered (always an excuse of course) to come see me with even one child (I have 4). The list goes on and on.

I did finally tell her how I feel a few days ago (after trying for so long just to 'get over it all', I am just truly finished). She called me to get driving directions to a local amusement park. I guessed right off that she and her other friend were going away for a 'girls' weekend with their daughters as she has done this numerous times over the years (which by the way I have 3 daughters, one close in age to theirs). She's always too busy to do anything with me, etc. She has bailed out on me at the last minute every single time I've needed her (and I have to be pretty desperate to ask anyone for help truly--I've had one sitter out twice in 10 years and no help from family as they don't live here), and even the one time I desperately needed a sitter and was already half way to her house on my way to a funeral (the funeral was located two hours after I was to drop my kids off), WITH my kids in tow (and I had to call HER to find that out in route). Sigh. I quit calling her my best friend years ago, but she still refers to me in this manner, and even had the nerve to tell me that on the phone the other day (it had pretty much become a phone friendship as I haven't seen her in almost two years and we are less than 2 hours apart). She hatefully asked me if I was having a major life crisis or something to that effect, ha ha (worded it differently); no just a wake-up call, lol. I guess I feel like if you really want to do something, you'll step up to the plate and do it (I mean, can't find her way to visit me in the hospital within a 10 year timeframe--kids are 1-11 years, come on! Not to mention that with several I was in there for a week straight, complications, etc.). Three of my kids she didn't even see until they were over 2 years old except in pictures.

I wish her all the best in the world, but unless there is an act of God literally, I feel I'm finished with that friendship. Also, what kind of true friendship is it if we can't be honest with each other (and I felt her comment about me having a current bad life situation was pretty low actually, especially when I just found out my mom is losing her eyesight, has to have two cornea transplants and they just told her she can't drive anymore, etc., so I really could have used a true friend to talk to about that). Certainly it will never be the same. I guess it is what it is and move on. It just really stinks when you have to 'realize' that people aren't what you made them out to be, even if you probably knew it all along. I think some friendships we just hang on to because 'it's always been that way' or 'they've been my best friend forever, etc.'

You guys sound like wonderful true friends, and I can tell you honestly appreciate the true friends that you have. You are very very lucky. Friendship is about both parties stepping up to the plate; it doesn't last if it's one sided all the time. I am happy to spend all of my time with my kids and DH though; the kids won't be around forever and I am lucky to get to spend so much time with them now. I don't really have the kind of time either with 4 kids to keep a friendship going so I guess it really was for the best (and I would totally think nothing of it if it wasn't for the fact that my 'friend' has so much time for her other friend and is there for her at the drop of a hat, etc.). Sorry to ramble everyone. You guys are great therapists.
Reply With Quote
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2008, 06:32 AM
Cuthie's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Posts: 6,254
Rep Power: 167
Cuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond reputeCuthie has a reputation beyond repute
cashchik and susiecat... I completely related to both of your posts. I have so many people in my life that would be there in a time of crisis. I even have a friend that calls me her best friend but I can't bring myself to go there... and I love this woman dearly -- we are almost like two halves that m