Outside of my husband, I do not. I was very hurt many years ago by a friend that I called my 'best' friend. I now have a lot of friends and it varies as to how strong the friendships are but I no longer call any one of my friends my 'best friend'.

Also, it doesn't help a lot that I am basically a loner that would rather be alone with my animals then with people, sigh. It bugs me about myself.

I've heard others on these boards mention their BFF, best friend, etc... I am a bit envious but I will never go that route again.

How about you? Do you have a 'best' friend? If so, how do you define your friendship?

YUP!! ME ME !!
I am 40 m(forty) years old, and met my BEST FRIEND when I was six...we have been friends for thirty four years!! She has been with me though every thing in my life, and I in hers. She is more like my sister than anything. I almost lost her this summer to legionairres(you may have read my posts about that).
I am blessed and thankful to have someone totally on my side, rooting for me, and there whether I am up or down. I can honestly say in 34 years, there has not been a cross word between us. I am lucky, I know
When someone says something that makes me feel crappy, I just call her, and suddenly I feel good. Hopefully, I do the same for her. every New Years Eve she calls me at midnite blastingRamones songs to wish me happy new year...she is oldest DS 's godmother, and was my maid of honor. I would give her a kidney, a chunk of liver or a leg if she needed it.

Outside of my BF (Boyfriend) I dont have a best friend either I also when I was younger got burned bad by a bestfriend and well figured I dont need to go thru that again, so I do also have alot of friends but none are Bestfriends. who knows maybe it will change but as of right now, Ill just stick to a few friends...

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Proud mom to 4 great boys Anthony20,Nicholas16,Michael4,Sean2

I do. She has been my BFF for 9 years. We have had our differences but I love her like a sister. My other 2 BFFs are my sisters so I am a very lucky girl.

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Calling a illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist."

No, I don't, either.

I had them through school and then we all went very different directions with our lives and grew apart. I had one in my old neighborhood for a few years, but she was so competitive about everything, it got old and we grew apart.

I'm envious sometimes, too, of people who have such close friends to share everything with. But, by the same token, DH & I are very close and have never had the need to go out with "the guys" or "the girls". We are real homebodies. We'll be married 19 years in October and it's worked for us so far!

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

My mom is my best friend.

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Not me either. I have had some very very close friends. And some of them still are friends, no longer very close and I have no one who I can confide in. A few years ago I was also truly hurt by someone whom I thought was near to a best friend, more than on eover the years actually. I find I no longer want to put forth the effort to develop a friendship. It is not worth the heartache that results. Interestingly, the people I was friends with in my hometown are still friends. The people I have become acquaintanced with in my (married) town - of 13 years - are really not friends. A very different attitude here.
Sad but true.

katamasmom

I don't think so. I have friends that are long time, that I accept for who they are. You know, warts and all. But if I had to say Best Friend it would be my sweetie. We can talk about anything, fight fair and always have each others back.

Another point is that I make friends with guys much easier than women. I was pretty much raised by my dad and brother so I am comfortable in friendships with guys.

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

I really don't have a best friend. I have a few good friends but no best friend. My best friend in school and I are still good friends (we talk every few weeks) but I wouldn't call us best friends anymore. I am friends with my daughter's friends' moms and we hang out (girls and moms) and that's fun. But no BFF there either!

Quite honestly, since adulthood, I haven't "required" a best friend. I too am a loner. Alot of my friends HAVE to have someone with them to go shopping. Not me, I can shop alone and be happy as can be. But, I'm an only child so I sort of attribute it to that (though in school, I wasn't that way, come to think of it--I always had a BFF). In addition, since having children, I treasure "time alone". I guess I just don't have to have someone with me to do things though sometimes I do miss it. My DD and I hang out and my DH and I hang out (and always have my little man around). Right now, at this time in my life, that's good enough for me!

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Mom to a beautiful 15 year old DD and my handsome little man who's 6!

~~~GO DALE JR!!~~~

I haven't since high school. I have a couple of friends, a lot fo acquaintances, and DH, along with the kids. I don't have the time or energy to spare for the effort it took to maintain a BFF relationship the last time I had one.

I have the bestest best friend. We are there for eachother when the chips are donwn, when there are good times and bad. I didn't realize just how much she felt the same way about me till a couple of weeks ago when her DS was into some stuff (long story) and her and my DH were having a discussion about best friends. She said she really realized what a best friend was untill the day of her Dad's funeral and when she looked up she saw who her best friend really was and it was me! Now with my DH's father just diagnosed with terminal cancer she is ther for me and what ever my kids and hubby needs. That is a best friend and I'm sure the OP has one of those she may just not be able to see it right now.

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I don't have hot flashes, I have short, private vacations in the tropics

I have a best freind. Funny thing is that she`s been my best freind for at least 15 years but I dont see her that often.

She lives about 2 miles from me but we keep in contact and she`s the one person if im down I can go right to her and she has the time for me(samething for her)

We are so much alike its scary. Love you Donna. I call her my honey.

nancy

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When you don`t know what to do-Walk fast and look worried.

I am so sad for you all that don't have a BFF. I am happily married to DH, for 19 years, but BFF (alright Kellyboysmom) and I have gone through heaven and hell together for the last 24 years--since we were 14. We are 38 and 39 respectively-I am the younger chick! haha. We have had cross words, but the beauty of it as that we respect each other enough to know that those words are just constructive criticism, and are meant with the best intentions. If we get together once a week, that's great. If we can only make it once a month, that's fine too. What is so cool, is that my DH and her DH met us all together before we all were married and get along so well---and our oldest kids were born two weeks apart and have the best friends forever since birth-gotta love that!

Please don't feel sad for me. Because I am reluctant to call one friend "Best" does not mean that I don't have friends that are the best.

I have friends that I haven't seen or spoken to in 4+ years and if they emailed tomorrow to say they needed a place to stay while in town they know they have it. Even if we aren't going to be home.

I have friends that know if they call at 4am and need a sober driver or someone to throw bail, I'll be right down.

I have friends that I can call (and trust) to look after our house and animals and they will do it.

I am fortunate that I think I have good judgement when it comes to people and don't have trouble putting people out of my life that aren't good to or for me.

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

Of course besides my dh thomas I have 2 my cousin Janet we are only 5 years apart we are more then cousins we are more then sisters we are best friends and the other is my friend Stacey I have only known her for 10 years from work but man oh man I love her to death peace to all catherine

I do. We met when we were both first married and in the military. More than 22 years ago now. We have been through SO much together and she loves me unconditionally and I her.

I will never forget when I went to FL to see my daughter and the day I got there my mom had a stroke and we had to fly back immediately. I had had a terrible flight there, then the stroke, then the flight home, I was exhausted. When I stepped off the airplane in Flint, there she was next to my DH. She just held me and cried. She had come from IN. I'm crying just thinking about it. I had no idea she was coming. We are always there for one another. Man I love her!!

Other than her, my DD is my best friend, but being my daughter, we don't talk about everything, ya know? lol

Melissa

I have 2 really good friends that I met after graduating high school and starting jobs. One I have been friends with for 22 years and the other for 12 years. Other than the 2 of them I have 2 sisters and my Mom that we do every thing with. I can talk to any one of them about anything and count on them for advice and support and they can count on me as well. I have NEVER fought with either of my BFF's but my Sisters and I have disagreements every now and then. I have NEVER fought with my Mom(not even as a teenager--guess we know who is her fav, LOL).

Yes. Amy has been my best friend since we were in 11th grade. Good, bad, etc. She knows more about me than anyone in the world. I love her so much!

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

I have many " best friends" and am their best friend. I found out years go tht one friend can not fulfil all my needs as a friend. I have and am there for me in everything and they are there for me. We may have different intrests, sports ,gardening,,boatingg and its fine that we don't share that with each other but we wouldn't trade the friendshipe for any aquantance. I lost 2 friends last year to deaath, one i had known from birth and went all thru school with and known for 58 years. The other I had worked with for 37 years my heart died a little with each.

I have a really great friend since 3rd grade, that's 20 years! we have become closer since my wedding,but I do not know how we would be considered.
i am happy with my hubby....he is my true best friend.

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-Kristi

My friend Cynthia has been my BFF since 5th grade, and we are now 40!! She actually lives right next to me. When we built our house she came to see ours, then bought the one next door!! Thru the years we have gone weeks , even months without talking, not on purpose, just busy with life, but always know the other is there at the drop of a hat. We pick up right where we left off. She knows me inside and out, faults and all, and there are ALOT on my side, and she loves me anyway. I also have many other friends that I don't speak to all the time, but we are all there when needed. It's so hard to keep up friendships daily when you work and are raising a family!! But so worth it! I have always felt very blessed friend wise!

The only friend I have had since high school I can honestly say is DH is my one and only friend. I just don't make friends easily. I'm really shy and have to spend time with someone to be comfortable with them. For some reason I've always made friends easier with guys. Still now I end up getting along with DH's friends than he does. I suppose because he brings them around and I slowly warm up to them and feel comfortable around them. I guess if he had women friends I might too. lol

It is really sad and lonely, I would love to have have a friend/friends to do things with. Especially now that my kids are older and do most things on there own, which in turn leaves me alone a LOT.

Laura

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Seems a few people in my life refer to me as their best friend, but I don't consider them as such. Is that wrong? is it bad?
People seem to find it easy to tell me everything. I am a good listener, and I have a great memory....umm what was I saying? :P No seriously I have a good memory, so I remember things people tell me in passing and I bring it up later and they think I really care... Don't get me wrong, I do care, just not to the point they think I do. I find it very hard to open up to anyone. I've tried. Never works out. I guess I'd rather be the listener than the talker.

I to am a only child and my alone time is precious to me. It's very much needed to keep me sane infact!

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

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'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

I guess I just 'woke up' over the past few years and realized my 'best friend' since kindergarten (I'm 37) isn't really much of a friend to me after all. I've been there for her over and over, even walking in from a 5 hour trip and getting right back in the car at 11 p.m. to drive 2 more hours to see her in her time of need. She was my maid of honor, she left me out of her wedding, etc. I have been to the hospital to see every child she has given birth to (and one she lost, family funerals, etc.), but she could never be bothered (always an excuse of course) to come see me with even one child (I have 4). The list goes on and on.

I did finally tell her how I feel a few days ago (after trying for so long just to 'get over it all', I am just truly finished). She called me to get driving directions to a local amusement park. I guessed right off that she and her other friend were going away for a 'girls' weekend with their daughters as she has done this numerous times over the years (which by the way I have 3 daughters, one close in age to theirs). She's always too busy to do anything with me, etc. She has bailed out on me at the last minute every single time I've needed her (and I have to be pretty desperate to ask anyone for help truly--I've had one sitter out twice in 10 years and no help from family as they don't live here), and even the one time I desperately needed a sitter and was already half way to her house on my way to a funeral (the funeral was located two hours after I was to drop my kids off), WITH my kids in tow (and I had to call HER to find that out in route). Sigh. I quit calling her my best friend years ago, but she still refers to me in this manner, and even had the nerve to tell me that on the phone the other day (it had pretty much become a phone friendship as I haven't seen her in almost two years and we are less than 2 hours apart). She hatefully asked me if I was having a major life crisis or something to that effect, ha ha (worded it differently); no just a wake-up call, lol. I guess I feel like if you really want to do something, you'll step up to the plate and do it (I mean, can't find her way to visit me in the hospital within a 10 year timeframe--kids are 1-11 years, come on! Not to mention that with several I was in there for a week straight, complications, etc.). Three of my kids she didn't even see until they were over 2 years old except in pictures.

I wish her all the best in the world, but unless there is an act of God literally, I feel I'm finished with that friendship. Also, what kind of true friendship is it if we can't be honest with each other (and I felt her comment about me having a current bad life situation was pretty low actually, especially when I just found out my mom is losing her eyesight, has to have two cornea transplants and they just told her she can't drive anymore, etc., so I really could have used a true friend to talk to about that). Certainly it will never be the same. I guess it is what it is and move on. It just really stinks when you have to 'realize' that people aren't what you made them out to be, even if you probably knew it all along. I think some friendships we just hang on to because 'it's always been that way' or 'they've been my best friend forever, etc.'

You guys sound like wonderful true friends, and I can tell you honestly appreciate the true friends that you have. You are very very lucky. Friendship is about both parties stepping up to the plate; it doesn't last if it's one sided all the time. I am happy to spend all of my time with my kids and DH though; the kids won't be around forever and I am lucky to get to spend so much time with them now. I don't really have the kind of time either with 4 kids to keep a friendship going so I guess it really was for the best (and I would totally think nothing of it if it wasn't for the fact that my 'friend' has so much time for her other friend and is there for her at the drop of a hat, etc.). Sorry to ramble everyone. You guys are great therapists.

cashchik and susiecat... I completely related to both of your posts. I have so many people in my life that would be there in a time of crisis. I even have a friend that calls me her best friend but I can't bring myself to go there... and I love this woman dearly -- we are almost like two halves that make a whole. Just knowing that she is a part of my life makes me smile and we probably see each other twice a year (6 hours drive to see each other) and we only talk email maybe monthly?! She's a loner like me...

It's the terminology 'best friend' that is a deal breaker for me. It feels like a set up for disaster to me (because of past experience).

sadarl, your story made me sad. It is so hard to come to the realization that after all of these years, the friendship was rather one-sided. As you said, you are blessed to have your DH and kids. Hold tight to that bond.

I consider my husband, my Mom and my sisters my "best friends". I have worked a solitary job for almost four years so I don't go to a workplace and talk to people. The closest work colleague is several hundred miles away.
I live out in the country there is nothing here, no clubs, no cultural stimulation etc. And with the price of gas I cannot volunteer in town like I used to.
I sometimes wish I had a BFF but with the way things are I have pretty much gotten used to it.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I'm with you Cuthie, my best friend is my DH. I have been hurt so may times by people that I thought I could count on, I just give up.

The women I called my best friend for a long time just hurt me so bad I don't care to have a best friend any more. I was always there for her when her husband had cancer and after he died. I took him to his chemo treatments and my and DH helped take care of him for months before he died. He wanted to die at home so DH and I stayed at their home day and night for almost 2 months. We had been best of friends for 20 years, after he died my DH paid for 1/2 of the funeral cost. This was almost 5 years ago.

As most of you know my DH has had by-pass surgery twice and has had a least 5 stents put in. She was at the hospital one time with me. The last 3 times that my DH has been in the hospital she has not even come to see him and that really hurt me!

So I'm happy to call my DH my best friend, I know he will be there if I need him and I'm there for him.

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

I had the greatest best friend. She was actually a friend's mom. My mom was too busy drinking to be a mom, and she took care of me as if I were one of her own children. Her daughter and I are still friends, but can go months/years with out seeing each other because life took us in different directions and that is ok cause she knows I will be there for her. When I found myself pregnant at an early age, my best friend was who I went to first. She was also the maid of honor in my wedding and my children's Godmother. Although we lived in different states, we talked everyday and made it a point to see each other every other week. My best friend passed away 8 years ago on 7/19/00. The first few months were hard because I always found myself picking up the phone to call her and tell her something or tell her something one of the kids did or to ask advice. I now go to the cemetary every weekend and talk to her and I know that whereever she is, she is always with me in my heart and thoughts.

I do have other friends, who I condider close friends but they can never replace my best friend.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Nope the one person who i thought was my best friend completely screwed me over in more then one way. I was always always there for her through everything but her never there for me. When my husband and i went to florida i went to visit her there and we spent a lot of time together then when we came back to the cape i never heard from her. I called her and she mentioned she came down to the cape recently, but not once did she call me to hook up not once!!! I haven't heard from her in 5.5 yrs now. I try to locate her now and then, but i keep saying to myself why should i? I guess i miss her in a way, but im hurt too. I am close to my daughters best friends mom, but i don't consider her my best friend i do consider her a good friend tho.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

I used to in High School, but college and other things have distanced us. I now have many close friends that I can count on when I need them. I do sometimes consider one of my close friends/neighbor as the closest thing I have to a best friend....but AF life does not bode well to having a "best friend"

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" Even though life can be a very long, hard, stressful and never-ending journey, never lose hope in what you want the most."

I guess my best friend(s) are the people I knew in high school. Might not talk to each other even in a year but when we do it's like no time has passed. I'm one of those "loner" types, I can't imagine having a friend that wanted to call a lot or go out somewhere, or come over! I would find that annoying lol

I wouldn't mind having someone to go to shows with though... I end up not going because I don't want to drive myself.

I have friends, good friends and ONE very special best friend. My friends from high school....we keep in touch by email, but really don't get to see one another very often. (several live out of state) My good friends we email and talk on the phone, go to each other's houses for get togethers, or just hang out camping, going to rodeos or air shows or whatever. My bff tho, she is always there for me, and I her. We share secrets between each other, knowing that they will be kept between only us. She can make me laugh so hard I could wet my pants, but we share tears too when one of us is upset. I am so lucky that we met, her dh and I worked together many years ago and she and I just clicked. (we call each other hunny too ) I wouldn't trade her for the world.

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Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

I have alot of friends and one Totally Best Friend. We live about 5 miles apart, we work together in the same store, and when we aren't working, we are on the phone with each other...lol. We share everything. I would do anything for her, expect work her shift....lol...nah I would even do that if she ask I have a group of friends of about 35 that get together every Thursday for the last 15 years, we are all VERY close and I have a "guy" best friend as well, he and I have been through it all. My brother and him were very close and when we lost my brother, he and I grew very close to the point we share everything together too. I love all my friends with all my heart.

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Proud Single Mother to 18 year old Twins Ashley/Davey, 14 year old Shawna, 5 year old Emma, and my Boo Bear, "Angel Hope" (1996-1997) RIP Boo.