I can't sleep because of a situation that happened with my DD. She has been at camp this week at the YMCA. On thursday she had an accident because the councelor wouldn't let her leave to go to the bathroom. She is a timid child so I wondered if the teacher just didn't understand why she kept asking to go or there was some other circumstance . She just turned 7 and like all children her age some times things get lost between her understanding of a situation her ability to communicate it to others. She was embarassed so I just kinda let it slide.

Then on Friday I picked her up after 4pm and she says they wouldn't let her eat lunch. I couldn't believe this so she showed me her untouched lunch. She said they sat down to eat their lunch on the floor of the gym as always and some man came up to them and told them to put their food away they weren't allowed to eat in the gym. She was scared and did what she was told.


I jumped out of the car and looked for some one in charge for some kind of explanation. The girl doing carpool said the camp director had already left and the facility director had left already too. The best person she could find was some assitant who said he wold investigate it and get back to me. I left messages on the phones of both directors trying to find out what on earth happend. I later even called the same assistant back that was there and he said he was still investigating. I wish I had just sat there and demanded someone talk to me until they came or called the cops and dragged me out of there. I, as of the middle of the night Saturday, still have not had a call of any kind from anyone.

I am just dumfounded by the situation. I am tempted to take some extreme action but have no idea what that would be. I also don't want to fly off the handle until I know all the facts. There may have been some miscommunication and my DD was too timid to speak up. I just don't know how I should handle this. What would you have done in this situation.?










I also wanted to add. She later told me she was hungry but ok because she and a friend of hers snuck out and went to the vending machines and got food. I am not sure if this made me feel better that she at least got food or scared me more that the teacher never noticed that they snuck out and were gone for that period of time.

Poor DD how embarrassing for her. I really don't know what I would "Personally" do, But I know what my mind would be telling me to do and it's not nice at all.But I think maybe give it a day or so till Monday let someone call you or go into the YMCA to speak to someone in charge.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT WITH THE BELOW COMMENTS

I'm sure since the lunch was untouched that your DD wasn't telling a fib about it, But, could she be ? Maybe she thought by getting something out of the venting machines she thought she might be in trouble ?? It's possible but only you know your DD.. Just food for thought on that one.

The sneaking out part, WOW , I don't know what to say on that.. I would be very upset to know that my 7 yo was able to walk away from the leader, But then again, did she say what the leader was doing when she and the other girl snuck away ?
Even tho, I understand she was hungry I would be pretty upset that she took it on her self to walk away from the class. If anything was to happen no one would have even known she was missing. so she was very wrong to do that..

I would give it till Monday maybe "drill" your DD for a few more details then go in and have her with you when you speak to the person in charge.

Good Luck

My guess is that you haven't gotten a call because they haven't gotten the message yet. They probably don't check their voicemails over the weekend. I would make sure you have your daughter's story straight before you talk to anyone higher up. Since you describe your daughter as timid, I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter didn't quite make clear to the counselor that she needed to go to the bathroom, but the lunch thing sounds very odd. OTOH, I'm a little surprised that such a timid child would be daring enough to sneak out to vending machines for food and wondering where she got the money from. The lunch story sounds very strange and I hope you'll post with the details of whatever the staff tells you happened.

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Reading is Fundamental.

I would be pissed. My dd is a diabetic and if someone had told her at that age she couldnt have lunch and she didnt they would be dealing with alot of problems. Back then she was on shots now she is on a pump and its a lot easier. I cant imagine the kids not being able to have lunch (not saying your child is lying, i am saying the irresponsbility of the leaders) b/c I am sure there are kids there that have to eat. I would of been pissed if someone in a summer camp, which isnt school, telling my child they couldnt go to the bathroom also. Hello, if a kid has to go they have to go. That is a hugh pet peeve of mine even in school, they wont hardly let a child goto the bathroom then they develop urinary problems. Hopefully on monday everything is cleared up. steph

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That just doesn't sound right. What a horrible experience for your child. And probably a horrible experience for a lot of kids. If I were you, I would shoot it to your local news network. Someone needs to know about this.

I think she should make sure she has all her facts straight before she calls any news network. Kids have been known to be less than forthcoming sometimes. If the kid's story checks out, though, then I completely agree -- make a stink!

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Reading is Fundamental.

Please just keep in my that the YMCA has been running summer camps and kids program throughout the country FOREVER. I would not alert the news media about it until you've at least had an opportunity to speak with someone who knows the facts, in addition to your child. I think this is a misunderstanding that will be cleared up with some communication.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I would wait on doing anything until you speak to the director - and I would speak ONLY to the director. From experience with my son around that age, they don't always tell the "total" truth - they aren't necessarily lying, but things get misinterpreted.

The part about lunch sounds completely different to me - it sounds like someone told them not to eat on the gym floor. So all they had to do was eat somewhere else. Gym floors are expensive to maintain - my son is in high school now and they aren't allowed to eat in the gyms either.

The bathroom part - I'm guessing your daughter misinterpreted what the leader said. However, if the leaders are high school or college kids, they don't always understand the kids can't wait like adults can.

I know you are angry and upset, but try to keep an open mind until you are able to speak to the director.

At that age, my son would tell me details from his night time dreams as thought they had happened in *real* life during the day... Dreams can feel so real to them that they feel that they are real. So, yes, I'd talk this over with your daughter at length before pursuing this with the director. I'd only go to the media if talking gets you nowhere.

As far as bathroom... I taught Kindergarten and First Grade for years (now am a substitute teacher for those grades). What happens is that one child goes and then 20 others all of a sudden need to go. Aye. So, what is easiest for the young and inexperienced caregiver to do is to say, "no" when in actuality, it is probably time to ask the whole group who needs to go to the bathroom and then allow them to go (a few at a time, of course!).

If she's new to this program, I'd try not to get too upset. Given time, many of these things will work themselves out. It is good to be an advocate for your child but bottom line... remember that those in charge are human and are probably low-paid and there because they love their jobs and love kids.

There is absolutely no excuse for them not letting a 7 year old go the bathroom.I don't care if the couselor was busy and there was noone available to take her ,they should have allowed her to go by herself or with a another girl.Even if they were on a hike they should have allowed her to go pee in the woods or if she had to go poo ,gave her some toilet paper and let her go. They should be prepared with these situations when dealing with 7 yr. olds.

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My granddaughter teacher wantedd to know if my granddaughter ate breakfast at home? Yes, why do you ask?
Because she always tells me she has to go to the restaurant?..mmmmm? The child had to go to the RESTROOM!

I still haven't heard anything. DD has been very consistent with her story. The camp is staffed with mostly high school and some college age kids and this was the last week. So I am wondering if the kids running it were fed up and and ready to get on with their life.

She also said the only reason she snuck out was she was very hungry and her friend was doing it so she followed her.

I don't understand why your DD had to sneak out and get food from the vending machines if her lunch was not eaten. She brought her uneaten lunch home, where was the lunch box/sack at that she couldn't get food from it and eat?

They leave their back packs in a certain area somewhere but they were not allowed to eat in the gym where they have camp and eat their lunch.

I would complain to the director on Monday. Sounds like the counselors are not meeting the needs of the children & need to be reminded of bathroom breaks as well as lunch. I went to YMCA camp many years ago, and I remember we did swimming tests. Of course everyone else got a report card on this, but I didn't....I can still remember my mother asking me where mine was......The counselors were teens, so you couldn't expect perfection, just understanding. Make the leaders aware of the situation so hopefully this won't happen again.

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We're off to never never land

Do they sit as a group together with the leader?? Did the whole group not eat lunch then? If they couldn't eat in the gym, why didn't they just move somewhere else and eat? Where was the leader?

The class as a whole was not allowed to eat. The leader was someplace else I guess. That is part of what I want explained. Where she was and who told them they couldn't eat. They are not supposed to go out of the gym where camp is held. They had to pack up their bags and put them away.

AMEN!!

Poster, I am so sorry this happened to her. I'm glad she has a mom on her side!! Keep us posted. I also agree with the poster who said even if they were on a hike, they should be allowed to go off in the weeds and pee. I also realize, as another poster/sub. teacher stated that if one kids asks to go, they all want to, but good grief--someone should allow bathroom breaks every few hours. Maybe those were offered, and she didn't have to go then, be sure and ask what the procedure is on that. You're a good mama, hang in there!!

While I would be bothered if my dd wasn't allowed to eat lunch, this in my mind is NOT something to go to the media about. Waaaaay too overblown. OP- I would wait till Monday and call again asking for clarification. I think you've handled it well.

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Jackie

Music is what feelings sound like._ ~Author Unknown

I agree. I put that in there because someone else (that I respect and admire a LOT), recommended that she go to the media.

Yes, way overblown and mom is handling it well... although I wish that it wasn't making her lose sleep.

Where was someone in charge (counselors) when the kids were in the gym being told they couldn't eat there??? Who was supervising them???

I would be sure to write EVERYTHING down , including what your DD told you ,as well as any questions you want to have answered. Monday morning, call them back. If you don't get someone to call you back by lunch, go down there in person. And, by all means, bring a back up with you, if possible. Remain calm and collected. You will come across much better if you are calm and collected.

I hope this was just some misunderstanding that can be easily cleared up.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I would talk to some other parents of some of these kids, and see if the stories ring true (if they're consistent with how your DD sees things).

This year in my DD's class, the teacher said highly inappropriate and offensive things to the entire class. Only once we chatted with the other parents (whose kids didn't tell them until the parents asked them about it) did we realize the extent of it. It is amazing what kids WON'T tell sometimes, unless they're asked! Do the research, and see what you come up with. Hopefully it's not as bad as what your DD expressed. But if it is, you will have that many more people supporting your DD's experience.

Please keep us informed!

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

So, it's Tuesday and I'm curious to hear what happened yesterday! I hope all is straightened out now.

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Reading is Fundamental.

Me too! Crossing my fingers that all is well and understood and nothing like this will happen in the future...

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Quick update. I spent the day yesterday at the dentist. The camp director called me back and just left her number. I am trying to gear up to call her a little later. I hate confrontation.

I hope all will be well and it turns out that your daughter maybe just told a little fib -- because that would mean things are well at the camp and your daughter was just acting like kids do from time to time! Fingers crossed!

Did you send her to camp yesterday? Did she report anything funny?

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Reading is Fundamental.

So, what happened? Did you talk to them?

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

I just started reading this thread and was amazed at some of the responses. Finally a voice of reason. Thank you!

I just wanted to update. I am still trying to puzzle everything out. The director called and answered some questions but left a lot more. She said someone did tell them not to eat at one point and made them pack up their lunches but they let them eat later and the director claims she saw them eating. DD denies this. I don't know if the director is just covering her @$$ or what is going on. She is confirming bits of DD's story but denying any wrong doing. Its not like DD to make up stories and it doesn't explain her untouched lunch. She didn't even open her juice and it was a very hot day. It is all just not adding up. I just wish I knew the other parents and could ask them. The director for obvious reasons would not give me the parents names or numbers. I'm just left with a very uneasy feeling and no real answers.

It sounds like you need to find a way to talk to some of the other parents. Do you pick her up and drop her off? If so, you can lurk in the parking lot or hall and watch for parents doing the same. You need to do it soon so that the day in question will still be something they can recall. Give them your phone number and ask them to call you after they talk to their child if they haven't heard that this happened.

Sadly last Friday was the last day of camp so I have no way of tracking down the other parents. It also means most of the kids that worked there have moved on. I would at least like to make sure it never happens again but I have hit a brick wall. Its frustrating and they just don't seem to care.

Your DD must not be too timid if she has the nerve to sneak out to the vending machine. If she was that hungry why didn't she take food from her lunch box? Perhaps the vending machine food WAS her lunch thus the uneaten food.

I'd have a talk with the leader to get the whole story. Going to the media....that's going way overboard.

I'm not sure there's anything for them to care about -- did you ever really get the story straight? There's something funny about the whole incident, all the way around.

Anyway, I guess the last week went alright, didn't it? That's good.

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Reading is Fundamental.

Next time she has to go pee have your dd "tell" the counselor that shes going to go use the bathroom and will be right back instead of "asking" if she can go.

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