I jist contacted the mods and want the post about alcolism and it being a disease . If anyone knows how to do plmk asap thanks. Catherine

Iluvlucy,
Go to edit and you should see 'delete " click that. The whole thread will be deleted.

Classy, Catherine. Really classy.

Oh, and I don't want to forget -- peace.

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Reading is Fundamental.

truble I sincerely hope you mean classy in that I deleted the post so plmk, Peace catherine

No, I don't.

But peace out.

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Reading is Fundamental.

I agree.

I think it's wrong to delete a thread just because you don't like the responses

I deleted the posts because of the advice of so many people , since the posts were causing trouble, this way there is not trouble, however truble is still not happy, and I am the one who has problems. Catherine

Truble why dont you give her a break. as far as all her posts at least she`s keeping it going and they are interesting posts. Why dont you start picking on someone else. Sorry Catherine I guess it`s your turn. I havent had a turn on this site but that other site. So have a nice evening truble and catherine. Life is too short. nancy

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When you don`t know what to do-Walk fast and look worried.

Njfl thanks for the sincere post and for the kind words. Peace Catherine

Keeping it going? She deleted the thread because she didn't like that people disagreed with her! If responding is"picking on," then why doesn't Catherine stop picking on me? For crying out loud, she's started a entire thread to call me names but you don't hear me whining about it.

As to your alleged turn, I don't know what other site you're talking about.

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Reading is Fundamental.

Shes talking about the secret TLJ place.I still haven't figured out what is.

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Thanks for the info! I've never been there, so it must have been someone else picking on her there.

Sometimes this place reminds my of my son. Anytime you correct or discipline him, you're "yelling" at him, which is complete foolishness. Some people, anytime you disagree with them, you're flaming them or picking on them. If you post a thread with an open question, you should expect to get some people disagreeing with you.

I agree...you don't just say "Wah...I'm taking my marbles and going home!" ~Lisa

I dont think Lucy belongs to the TLJ forums. I may be wrong though !

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

IM not talking about anyone that just posted here.

The other people know who they are.

Have a nice day everyone. The sun is finally shining.

nancy

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When you don`t know what to do-Walk fast and look worried.

Oops sorry!

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

Irishblonde what site are you talking about plmk peace catherine

Lucy, the TLJ forums.

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

It's a boring place to chat. I tried it, and after I few days had my profile deleted. It was really dull!

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

TLJ is FAR from boring.

__________________

Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

If you have a personality and choose to participate and be active, it is not dull.

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I dream to escape!

I dont think the "other place" is boring. It may not be for everyone. There are things one can say on there and not be blasted about it . You can let your hair down and not worry what everyone else thinks and says.

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

I don't think it's boring. All message boards have lulls. Could you just have caught it at a slow time?

I must have missed that. Was it deleted? I'm new to that site and haven't read everything but I haven't seen any threads that bash other members over there. People speak their minds but I haven't seen posters ganging up on one poster. What happened because I don't even see a Njfl listed as a member. What's your user name over there?

I have been a member over there since day 1 and have never seen njfl or ilovelucy420 blasts there. I can honestly say I have read every post on that site too. All boards can get boring at sometime. I am glad you decided that board was not for you and left instead of being a lurker. I personally like it with those two live jews. It is not a secret place either. We just are not allowed to post the link here. If anyone wants to know about it just ask. We'll tell you.

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Calling a illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist."

Personally - and it looks like I'm in the minority - I don't mind posts going poof.

Real live conversations end when they end. They live on in the memory of those involved and don't remain for eternity for the rest of the world to read and rehash, and for people who were never involved in the discussion the first time around to dredge up like an old shoe. Nobody can live anything down or start fresh.

I especially think that's true of someone who is rather new to a message board. I realize Lucy has been trading for a long time but it appears she's new to the concept of a 'discussion board', and obviously started out on the wrong foot in many ways. I, too, have a great appreciation for punctuation, capital letters where they belong, and other such grammar-related issues. I certainly don't always type flawlessly myself, and now is the perfect opportunity for someone to pull up all of MY old posts and show what a failure I am in this regard. Still, as I mentioned in another thread, when I read a post with no differentiation from one sentence to the next, I 'hear' it in monotone and the person 'sounds' stoned in my head. The poster's credibility suffers because that's the impression I have of them.

When someone is new and jumps in with both feet and goofs up all around - from 'talking' too much and 'talking' all wrong (bad grammar, punctuation, etc.) unfortunately, their words will live on forever around here. And that's probably often frustrating to people who later 'clean up their act' and become solid contributors.

I do think, however, that the thread she deleted was deleted with merit. A poster - and I don't recall who it was - suggested that she do it. The reason they gave was that her deceased brother's situation seemed to be being mocked and the poster doubted Lucy would want those words about her brother to be stuck on the internet forever. They really encouraged her to just get rid of the post and move on.

And she did.

She's new and goofing up in many ways, something I think many of us can understand. Some like to wear the banner of 'blunt' as though it gets brownie points and excuses things that are likely hurtful. I think if we can give hall passes for those who want to be 'blunt' I think we can also extend them to those who are somewhat new to the discussion format and extend a bit of grace when they follow a suggestion offered up to them as a way to gracefully bow out.

Lucy, if you're reading this, I hope you're feeling your way through and learning from your mistakes. Just like in the 'real world' there are things you do and things you don't, rules that are written and rules that aren't. Don't jump in and monopolize the board with lots of posts until you feel certain that you know the 'vibe' of the place. Things will work out much better for you if you do.

Ummm,.... what does "plmk" mean?? and what are the "TJL forums"?? just wondering...

PLMK = Please Let Me Know

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

plmk = please let me know. It's something I typically see in emails when someone is specifically needing information from me, and usually in a situation where it's rather crucial that I get back to them. It's usually used in more personal correspondence than on a message board, in my experience.

PLMK-please let me know
TLJ is another board some from here went to

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

TLJ = Two Live Jews

I think that the only way to get to it is to Google those three words with the word 'boards'?

I hope that it's okay to post this? I think that it seems like a secret when we don't just post how to get there! LOL.

Edited to say that I'm not personally a member... one board is enough for me! Maybe someday....

Actually ILuvLucy is already a member of TLJ....but Ummmm maybe she doesn't remember???

If you want a link to TLJ, just check my profile.

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Come and visit the gang at TLJ
PM me for info

Who's new? If you're talking about Lucy, no, she isn't. She's been here since 2000, so unless 8 years is new...

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

I think she means " New" to post here on the cafe board. I might be wrong but thats how I read the post.

NO! Say it ain't so....
No one who was happy here would dare venture to another board. Besides don't they know all we do over there is cuss and talk about sex??? LOL

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Jaded, I didn't bother to look up Lucy's history, but I thought she said she was new to posting on the Cafe, but has been an MC member for many years as a trader. I took that to mean that this whole, "WOW! People just sitting around that I can GAB at all day LONG?!" thing was new to her and that she was probably going overboard out of gleeful exhuberant ignorance. Everybody that's been sitting in tables here in the cafe for years doesn't tend to gab at that level, and if she hasn't been hanging out here, well.... she jumped in with more gusto than was typical. Combine that with the hard-to-read posts and it was a recipe for a smackdown! lol

I remember the first message boards I ever discovered: Media Domain's As the World Turns and Guiding Light forums. I was so excited to find people who knew MY people - you know, Connor and Cal, Lucinda and Josh and Lily and Holden and Reva and Josh and Billy and Lujac and... I'm just sure I went overboard that first day and made a stupid posting piggy fool of myself. It rather hurt my feelings that nobody was responding to my wonderful storyline ideas! lol

Looking back, it makes me blush with embarassment.

I kind of got the feeling that Catherine was in the early stages of message board euphoria and needed to take a breath, survey the place in silence, and THEN try to insert herself into the conversation.

I was one of the ones that told Lucy to delete that thread. My reasons for doing so was because it was getting very personal and hurtful. While I agree some of the things in that thread wasn't the best way to relay your views, I also believe we all have been there done that at one time or another..
Truble, Lucy and a few more were getting their feelings hurt and that led to all of them becoming angry and bitter toward each other and "probably" posted things they "Normally" would not have said to each other.

Personally me, I thought Lucy posted so many thread was because she 'thought" that was the way to make new friends and have a sense of belonging.

I never dreamed she would get picked on for deleting a thread that had become nothing more than a flame fest. For that I'm sorry.

I really believe her other post 'calling out other members" were the results of her hurt feelings and the only way she knew how to react to this.

So if anyone is mad about the thread being deleted they can blame it on me not her.

oh the good ol' days. I remember posting there. I miss Lujac and Alan-Michael, Lucy, etc. sigh...

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

Her feelings got hurt because of the awful things that were said about her brother who passed away... she mentioned that over and over again.

Hummm not sure

Not sure about what?

Your right. If you google "two live jews boards" it is the first hit.

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Calling a illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist."

Please don't presume to speak for me, especially when you're going to speak inaccurately. Catherine certainly doesn't have the power to hurt my feelings.

FWIW, there was not one thing said about her brother's death that was in any way disparaging of him on that thread. Not. One. Thing. It's BS for people to say there was and that that somehow justifies Catherine's behavior.

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Reading is Fundamental.

Right before that thread disappeared, there were posts to Cathrine saying they believed the things said in that thread reflected negatively upon the memory of her brother and that there was a way to completely remove the post, and that it would be wise for her to do so. I didn't write those posts and wouldn't have encouraged her to delete it, but they were definitely there.

She is, from what I understand, new to this forum. In this particular forum, there are those who absolutely do not believe it is ever ethical to remove a thread, and those that believe it should be done. I have no idea if Catherine was aware that some would find her removing the thread offensive, but in light of the fact that she was being encouraged to do so, I can't fault her for it.

I do not recall anything negative said about her brother and I participated in that thread. I did not type anything I wouldn't say to someone's face either. Besides, Cathrine was the one who brought up her brother and I am not really sure WHAT it had to do with the original subject matter. Some people here, myself included have been hurt very much by alcoholism making it a sensitive topic. After posting her comment/question she typed that none of us would change her opinion on the matter. While everyone is entitle to their own opinion, don't get upset with other people when you ASK them for their opinion. There is alot of ignorance still around where addiction issues and even mental illnesses are concerned. If Cathrine had been sincere in asking her question on the topic I think things would have gone differently, but she started it looking for a fight. Intentionally or not, she got it.

__________________
Work like you don't need the money,
Love like you've never been hurt, and
Dance like you do when nobody's watching.

MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

That pretty much sums up how I saw how the discussion went.
Well said, crzy4cpns.

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@@@
l/ l/ l/
Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

Oh no, you are mistaken. Catherine stated over and over again that she found what some had said about her brother offensive. She asked at least a couple of times for a moderator to lock the thread.
I and a couple of other people advised her that if she wanted to be done w/ the thread she could completely remove it by deleting it. No one but Catherine commented on being offended about statements made about her brother. No one advised her it would be "wise" to delete the thread. She asked that it be locked--and as we know, moderators are running short staffed of late, and Catherine could delete the thread in it's entirety.

Your recollection is not accurate

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Yes i did join that new website about the new jews, hopefully not hurting anyone feelings by mentioning jew. However I only joined and welcomed myself, however after reading some of the posts, there I will not remain its way out of control, so I have not been there for 8 years. Only one day, there seems to be the type of website, where you can literally curse and say anything you want. For me its not a healthy place to me. However I have been a member of mycoupons.com since 1999. Yes I am new to the cafe was hoping to find some new friends and chat away, however things did not get off on a good start. I want to change all that and will refrain from strong personal issues I feel about. Also a while back in the old days mycoupons.com did have the fmaily board, however it was taken away because of the same problems. Anyhow peace to all. Catherine

Thanks, nightowl. Unfortunately, it doesn't contain the last few posts, and I am all but certain that there were at least two posts in which someone said (and I don't recall if it was one someone or two someones), paraphrasing, "Some hurtful things have been said about your brother here. The best thing for you to do at this point to preserve his memory would be to delete the thread."

Like I said... paraphrased.... but towards the end of the train wreck, she was being encouraged to do that. I believe she then had a post or two saying she was trying to figure out how to delete it, and then suddenly there was a thread all its own wanting to know how to delete a post. Unfortunately, google doesn't appear to have cached to the end.

8/9/08 4:43pm

I think that's nice and I expect that you'll make many friends here! Just a word of advice, take it or leave it but if you sincerely want a fresh start, it would be better not to post "Peace' in every reply you make and worse yet, in your thread titles. It irritates many people and why rule them out as friends? Why not just use 'Peace' as your signature line instead? It would save you some typing and wouldn't irritate anybody.

Are we talking about the same sight??? It has only been up for a little over a year......

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Regarding the AIDS thing, I thought what she was saying was, "Now THIS is what I consider a disease: AIDS. My brother had it, I watched him die from it, and simply stopping a behavior wouldn't stop the symptoms." I thought that was why it was 'relevant' to the discussion, from her perspective; she was using it as an example of what *she* considers to be a disease, and contrasting it with alcoholism, which she appears to believe is a behavior.

She posted - nicely (albeit oddly and in a very difficult to read post!) - thanking people for their input and then sharing family incidents involving substance abuse and how they formed her opinion, and ended saying she still believed alcoholism wasn't a disease because of those experiences.... and then asked people to continue (peace).

That post of hers - which wasn't offensive, just discombobulated and odd - was met with this statement: "I would suggest that you attend an AA meeting...sit back, relax, have an open mind, and take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth".

After a few simple, non-controversial posts, a poster (not Catherine) brought up AIDS (along with cancer) refuting Catherine's argument that the difference between alcoholism and disease was that diseases could be treated and cured.

Others gave their opinions without controversy, and then Catherine jumped back in and - as usually happens on message boards - responded to the post that seemed to slam her by telling her to take the cotton out of her ears and put it in her mouth:

"Me attend a aa meeting for what and why should I take the cotton out of my ears, i seriously disagree to the fullest, its a choice just like everything else we do in life, its a choice not a disease, to me if it was a disease like aids and please do not go there because my beloved brother passed away from this deadly disease, there is no comparsion at all, my brother did everything he could to survive with all medical help , if you think for one moment alcohol or smoking or drug addictions are diseases, then why do some people never seek help, if you were sick and had a disease you would go to the doctor to receive treatment. byw impatient I simply love your thread your words are so true peace to all catherine"

Then CaddyLisa told her she had serious issues and brought up what was, I believe, the elephant on the forum - why Catherine's posts are so odd. Why all the 'peace' stuff? People don't talk that way, it sounds like a 60's leftover phrase and when I see it, seriously, I just think I'm talking to someone who is on heavy psycadelic drugs. Sorry, Catherine, but that's the picture I get, whether or not it's what you're trying to portray.

I assume we were ALL scratching our heads about the posting style and CaddyLisa was just the first one bold enough to just put it right out there.

But it came off as pretty harsh, IMHO, and Cathrine the Cafe Newbie got defensive and suddenly she was the wildabeast (sp?) caught in the headlights of a den of lions - lacking the skills, lacking the speed and agility and savvy, and floundering around making noise as the teeth sunk in.

When I go back and actually *read* the thread, that's what I see. I didn't see her being disagreeable about the opposing viewpoints. She maintained her stance, explained why.... but didn't draw personal blood first. She was actually quite amicable with disagreeing viewpoints up until the whole cotton thing.

LOL! I see what you mean because that's how her sentence is written. I think what she really means for it to convey is:

Yes, I did join that new website. I joined and welcomed myself but after reading some of the posts, I will not remain because I think it's way out of control. I will not be a member there for 8 years like I have been at My Coupons.

FYI...That expression I used was just something that I've heard many, many times in AA. I'll admit, I shouldn't have used it on here. This is not an AA meeting. People who aren't familiar with the saying could...and did...get offended. It's said in a joking manner....not in a nasty way at all. They just mean instead of running your mouth and not listening, take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth. She seemed to be geniunely interested in wanting to know what others thought, although it turned out she really didn't give a rat's ass. Why she even bothered to ask the question in the first place still boggles my mind. I apologized if I came off as some kind of know-it-all, holier-than-thou. I was just trying to share my own opinion on the matter...not force it down anyone's throat. Yes, I did have the b@lls to ask about the "peace" thing. I was just wondering what it was all about. The first time I read it in a thread I thought the OP meant to say please...

Take The Cotton Out Of Your Ears! AND - Put It In Your Mouth!

There are a lot of old phrases that meant quite a bit to folks like me that I rarely hear anymore. This is one of them.

Do you take offense to such a saying? If you do, the odds are good that you’re early in sobriety. An oldtimer explained it to me;

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Everything you know about staying sober is on the first page of the Big Book, therefore when you open your mouth (at days, weeks, or months dry, no, not sober) you’re more than likely spreading your disease than helping anyone. The reason you have two ears and one mouth is so you can listen twice as hard as you speak. Listen to learn, learn to listen.

He was right. ~Lisa

No problem, I have removed your membership.

Peace!

__________________
Come and visit the gang at TLJ
PM me for info

We just see different things, then.

__________________

Reading is Fundamental.

Well, in the end, there is a positive outcome to this whole ILOVELUCY indoctrination...it's been a big boon for the TLJ forum! Groovy!

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

When I see people getting on the defensive side to ME this means somewhere along the line something has hit them in a personal way. ( Which can also be to some maybe not everyone be taken as Hurt Feelings ). Sorry if this wasn't the case with you Truble. However,There's not 1 doubt that Lucy's feelings where getting hurt which that led to things being said I would hope otherwise wouldn't have been said. At this point it's damn if she does damn if she doesn't. Sad !

Are you saying that Catherine said what many considered ignorant things because she was hurt? I find that untenable, given that she repeatedly stated her opinion that alcoholism isn't a disease long before anyone said anything to her to the contrary. She started that thread, IMO, itching for a fight and she got one. She was the one that introduced her brother's disease into the thread. When she couldn't respond to the opinions and arguments on the other side, she deleted the thread.