A friend of ours is getting married in May, in Texas. My DH can not go since that is a very busy time at our business. He has no porblem with me going. I am staying a few extra days to hang out with the groom's mom since neither of us have ever been to Texas.


ok..sounds simple enough. I was talking about this on Sunday and could not believe people's reactions. One friend even said "I would NEVER go out of state without Charlie (her DH)" (not sure how her going to Ohio to a convention was not going out of state since we live in Indiana) (come to think of it she took her kids to Kentucky Kingdom for 2 days without Charlie....)

Anyway, is it really that odd to go to an out of state wedding without my DH?

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I don't think so. Sadly, some women don't think they can do anything without their DH or someone else tagging along even. Come to think of it, I went out of state to a wedding without my DH. NO big deal for us.

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Nope. I don't think it's odd at all. I think it's great that you and your husband have that kind of relationship. People are so quick to judge and offer their own opinions, when it's really none of their business.

Heavens, no!

It shows that you are confident and comfortable being alone. Personally I think it is important that women maintian a certain level of this in case something happens to their spouse.

Have a wonderful time!

I would go in a heartbeat, but then again I am a loner! LOL

I always go 1-2 hours away alone for a day of shopping. I also went away overnight (to another state! GASP!) to a casino..alone. I loved it!!!! I think it's also fine, no vital, for a level of independence.

Oh hell no....I travel with my sister all the time. DH travels so much with his job that he encourages me to go places with my sister that he has no interest in.....like Vegas or a weekend cruise occasionally. We've been married for 23 years....its not a big deal for us.

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Heck, no -- go and have a great time. One of my best vacations ever was a week alone with two girlfriends in Florida without spouses or kids.

Nothing at all wrong with it. Go and have a great time. Friends of our have taken yearly separate vacations forever. They have different interests and the separate vacations allow them both to spend time doing the things they love. I would go in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. When I have gone away without DH people always act as if my children will go hungry, dirty and unclothed while I'm away. He extremely capable!

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Maybe it's where you are from?
But no, it is not strange at all, especially here in NY.
If you have a trusting relationship and mature people involved, then why not spend time apart doing things you enjoy occasionally.
I have gone to visit friends in other states on many many occasions, or just to visit my DD at college. My husband used to be a civil war reenactor and he went on many camping trips with them. I think for a healthy relationship to thrive you need things that you share and many interests that you don't. It is the interests that you don't share together that add something to talk about at dinner besides just talking about the kids! My husband tells me about his working in regional theatre, I tell him about my non-profit work and we support each other.

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I went home for Christmas with the kids one year, he was in NJ I was in TN, we lived for a about 9 months him in NJ me and the kids in TN. didnt bother me at all, just the not being able to take off to the store alone to get away for some me time, other than that it didnt matter. his work paid for calls to me and stuff.

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No problem here however I would love to have my dh with me , however sometimes its just does not work out, for instance my first cousins son got married 8/1/08 the wedding was at 4 pm on friday my dh has his own business and its too far for him to leave work early and when its your own business, things always come up. So I just went with my parents and my sister in law, she was alone also because my brother Micheal needs to work all he can. Peace Catherine

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Same here...my DH is a blast to travel with, even though he really does not like to!

Thanks gang, at least I know it is not just us that find it "not odd"

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Becca
I think it's totally fine. It's not like he was not invited!
He just can't go! Some people just are not comfortable going anywhere alone and also not everyone has a trusting relationship.

Go and enjoy the wedding! Like the others, I've been to weddings without DH. I've even sung and played the piano for weddings without DH in attendance. A friend of mine and I traveled to another state a few years ago to sing/play for a friend's wedding and we had the best time (both without our DHs). I think it's good to be away from each other for a while. You'll have a lot of fun. Go for it!!

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I see nothing wrong with it. In June I took a trip to Cali for a week (I'm in Maine) by myself. People asked if I was taking the DH and I said "HECK NO! Someone needs to have the bail money ready". LOL I need some "ME" time with one of my best friends. Sure I missed the DH, but I did have a blast doing girl things.

I travel all the time without DH. I never even knew it was an issue or an eye-raising thing. I am a professional and I am independent....and I don't really care what people think! LOL Not sure what my employer would say if I said I couldn't go on a business trip because my husband wasn't available... Go - have fun - I would!

cj/

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I think you will have a blast hanging out with your friend. It's so different being w/ girlfriends vs. being with husbands. DH and I have our laughs, but BF and I have our giggles. I'm sure you will miss your DH, especially at the wedding, but once you pee your pants from laughing so hard with your friend, you will be fine.

I don't think its odd. I think you should go and have a wonderful time! Sometimes a little time apart can be a great thing for a marriage. Just think of the fun you will have with hubby when you return home....<grin>

As long as you don't try and catch the bouquet I think you will be fine!! Have a great time!!

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I don't see a problem with it. Maybe if your husband had an issue with, then maybe I could see you not going...but it's not like you're running away to Mexico to live it up in the bars or anything. LOL
My kids & I went on a vacation a couple of years ago with my dad. DH couldn't go. I wish he could have, but he didn't have any time off. Last year he took a week off and went to visit a friend for a week. I didn't love that (you'd have to know that friend) but I wasn't going to stop him.

Now, maybe I'm being selfish, but this same friend now lives in London (for a job) and says he'd pay for DH to come out and visit, but I am against it. I'm sure it's partly because he's getting these vacations with no kids but I'm supposed to take the kids everywhere I go? LOL Plus, we can't afford to go anywhere, not even a hotel down the street for a night...so I'd feel kind of jilted that he'd have this great trip while I'm at home...again...with the kids.

I say go and have fun. This seems such an old-fashioned, controlled type of thing. Like some women in my Parents' generation, where the woman has never voted without asking her husband first WHO to vote for, have never learned to drive a car, don't know anything about their finances....then, because women as a rule outlive their mates, they are lost with what to do when their spouse dies.

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You're kidding, right? This is 2008.

Wow - my friends would think it more odd if I DIDN'T go to the wedding in a case like that, but we are a pretty independent group women. I traveled to South America by myself - that was when DH and I were dating, but I went totally on my own. I think being able to take care of yourself is a necessity for women ... having a great husband is icing on the cake!

My parents did things separately when I was growing up and it was fine. My dad would go hunting with his hunting buddies for a few days in the fall and my mom went to some sort of seminar/workshop for a few days a couple of times. They're still married after 40 years and my sister and I turned out fine.

Go and have a great time!


I get disgusted/amused when people think that FATHERS can't take care of their own kids. Even worse is when people call it "babysitting" when the father is in charge of the kids. Um, no.

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I just returned from Virginia Beach without dh but traveling WITH my 11 month old and 3 year old on a plane! We went to visit my sister. We had a blast! If I waited to go on vacation with my husband, we would never go anywhere!

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