Went to buy a few basics-there was an elderly man, w/ one of the motorized shopping carts w/ an interesting lot in his basket-two of those huge dog bones. a few flowers, and a pink teddy bear that said "Baby Girl." At first we observed him (standing quite well) at the salad bar-he was eating the croutons and sunflower seeds out of their pouring containers. So my boys went to get their free cookies, and all of a sudden, he was there-"Hey boys, have some cookies, fill your pockets like I did." And he did show his pockets, and they were full of the free cookies, he was offering them up to my kids and encouraging them to take more cookies. I said, nope, one per person, and luckily my kids were so weirded out that they just couldn't wait to get out of there. And then, two aisles over, he was there again, in his little wheelie cart, using his fingers to snap at my kids-"Hey boys, hey boys...." So apparently we are on the same trek at the grocery store. Kids, do not look....We were in the last aisle, and thankfully a manager saw him eating whatever, and told him that was not store policy. He replied that he did not know that it was against the rules. Of course, my kids had to go to the bathroom. I told them, "If that old crazy guy comes into the bathroom, get out right away." And guess what, he went right in after them. Thankfully the same manager came around the corner and I told him, (and I was almost in tearsand getting ready to rush the bathroom), my kids are in that bathroom. I didn't have to say anything more. He just got wide-eyed, rushed into the bathroom, and mouthed at my kids, "It's ok, let's go." My kids walked out quite nicely, albeit not washing their hands, and the manager just apologized left and right. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. I don't feel like he was drunk, while he possibly is really lonely, and I did state to my kids that there are really some ppl who are crazy. It was really scary...And probably the first time that I have been reduced to tears in a grocery store.

Linny, That is mortifying!!!

You did all the right things - esp grabbing the manager for help once the man got to the bathroom.

You used all the right "mother instincts" - you're right, he may have been harmless. But who needs that confirmed for them?

At least it has opened up some great dialogue opportunities for you and your kids regarding stranger danger. I've had to talk to my kids frequently this summer about the false sense of security they sometimes feel when they know their surroundings really well. I've been trying to explain that being familiar with the building doesn't make it 100% safe when it's a public place.

It's so hard being a mom! Hugs to you - you're great, Linny!

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

Linnybop,

Was it in the Walmart at Nimo? If so, I been approached by the SAME man! He told my kids they could have a cookie and pulled one out of his pocket. I said No Thanks, but it seemed everywhere we were he was. I'm glad the manager went in after the boys, I would of been bawling!!!

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Proud Single Mother to 18 year old Twins Ashley/Davey, 14 year old Shawna, 5 year old Emma, and my Boo Bear, "Angel Hope" (1996-1997) RIP Boo.

Wow, that must have been really scary! At least your kids picked up on your uneasiness with the creepy guy, which is a good. It IS very hard for parents to teach their children about "strangers". It seems no matter how much you talk to them, and tell them what/what not to do, sometimes it just doesn't sink in to their little heads. I think most small children envision a stranger as being some ugly, scary or unappealing person that they'd spot a mile away. They don't realize that a stranger can be an ordinary, attractive or friendly looking person. Although I'd tried to teach him since he was about 3yrs old, I don't think the "stranger" thing ever really sunk into DS's head until he was about 7. I showed him the picture of Jeffery Dahmer on the TV Guide cover. From the picture, he looked like a regular, normal person you'd see everyday.... and DS agreed. Then I told him who he was and what he'd done (not too explicitly). His jaw dropped a little, but I do believe that putting a "normal" face with such evil acts opened his eyes to what a stranger may look like. It was like it finally "clicked" for him.

.

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~~~MsMiser

Oh Gosh ! How scarey for you ! I am glad the manager helped you out..EEEWWW!

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Live, Love, Laugh

I think I would have gone to the doorway of the mens room while my sons were in it knowing there was the potential of this man following them in. I also would not have been in tears hoping someone would come to help me when the man did enter the bathroom. I would have already been IN the mens room

A proactive approach is the best. If you think something could happen...plan for it.

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

What a creepy guy. Glad you were on top of the situation, and your boys are safe. Maybe the guy will end up being prohibited from entering the store for now on, after his inappropriate actions.

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We're off to never never land

I agree he sounded creepy, but it doesn't sound like he actually did anything "inappropriate" that they could ban him from the store for. So he went into the bathroom after the kids - did he do anything creepy there? It doesn't sound like it. I don't blame the OP for following her instincts at all. I would have gotten my kids out of there too. But, I think it's jumping the gun to ban the old guy. Did I miss something other than him hording free cookies? People do that at the stores that offer free samples all the time. Rude, but not illegal.

Tammyboo, it was not Walmart, but rather nice nice store by the courthouse. Maybe he likes the "samples" there better. Jujubee, the manager did say that they are getting more and more ppl like this, but legally there is really nothing they can do. Suezz, trust me, I was not just standing there like a helpless little waif. I was ready to go in to the bathroom. Thankfully, the manager just happened to come around the corner at the same time. I was very proactive,

I wonder if he had Alzheimers? There's a phase in that where sometimes people act inappropriately - both in the sense of taking all the freebies or eating out of the salad bar containers. And also trying to interact inapropriately with people including children. Some people start to fixiate "in that way" with people they never would have in their past - ie children, same gender, etc.

Either way, you did good getting your kids out of there before anybody found out what he might have done.

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Meddle ye not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crispy, and taste good with Ketchup!

its great you are a great and cautionous mother, I personally take my ds into the womens with me so I could watch them.

I'm sorry you were so uncomfortable, but he simply sounds like a lonely elderly man who was just reaching out to other human beings. A bit eccentric maybe, but a freak? That seems bit harsh to me.

That's sad. I feel bad for the old guy. Seems like he was just a friendly old guy, sharing a sneaky laugh about the cookies. Probably lonely. I agree, kinda gross, eating the salad bar stuff.... and standing, for a minute, in one place, out of his chair, well, I don't know what's weird about that.

Yes, there are people out there who just don't look "right" to you, but I have always encouraged my kids to be polite, smile and respond, from their safety zone. To be so "paniced", about an old guy in a chair at a grocery store? That's a bit extreme in the nervous dept. Of course I don't know where you live, perhaps in your area that's scary. I'm lucky to live in a small, relatively safe town....

Not extreme at all.

When you're a mom, you have instincts.

Trust them.

A LOT more harm to your children if you don't trust your instincts (if instincts were correct), than the harm done to a goofy, man with boundary issues if his feelings are hurt (if instincts were wrong).

Handled perfectly, IMHO...Your kids are lucky to have you, Linny.

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

I agree with the Alzheimers. I Know a retired preacher who has Alzheimers and you would not believe his behavior. Totally different than before he got it. Its sooo sad. This man is 51yrs old. so it dont just happen to "old" people.

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Lynne, I would have flipped too! I would rather err on the side of caution, too many nuts around these days.

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*** Find A Need , Fill A Need ***

I agree with this post and some of the others. Since I have a job now that puts me in close contact with the elderly population, I have learned that things change drastically when we get older.

I have patients who will stop and talk to everyone in the office but are extremely drawn to children. I feel this is because they are in some cases lonely but also, as was mentioned, it can be a sign of Alzheimers. They tend to lose the social boundaries that we take for granted.

As for the taking the cookies and the salad bar items, that could be a case of no longer knowing any better or lack of money and hoarding food for later.

In either case, I feel freak is a harsh label to put on this person and I would have just smiled, told the kids they didn't need a cookie from him and then left his area. If I would have come in contact with him again, I would have again been nice but told him we were busy. I would have followed the man into the bathroom and told the boys to come out. I once stood in the doorway of a mens room in the Atlanta airport because I felt uncomfortable with the boys in there themselves.

OP your mom radar was working and that is great, I just would have handled things a bit differently.

I ended up writing a novel.

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

WOW, I hope you're not looking in my cart, might find some "interesting" things in my cart, too.


Sometimes people use these motorized carts as an aid, like a cane. I haven't seen many paralyzed people in them.....not sure what the comment about him standing well meant???


Your entire post really hit a cord with me. What a shame that you are teaching your children to fear people who are different, and to be so incredibly judgemental of people, including the elderly. Maybe this guy was lonely. Many elderly people are. There friends and family members are busy with their lives, many have passed away and some elderly have a lot of extra time on their hands.

When I go grocery shopping with my youngest, it never fails.....we see an older person who wants to be kind to her and joke with her, make duck noises, whatever. No harm done, and we probably made that person's day, who knows?? I've been into many nursing homes, and it breaks my heart to see people in there, many with no visitors. It seems our society has discarded the older generation.

I teach my children to embrace the elderly, they have so much knowledge, and the stories they tell......PRICELESS!!!!

While I can understand being cautious, I can't understand being so judgemental and freaked out.

Just my two cents, flame away.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Very strange! Sounds like this man is mentally unbalanced at the very least and a predator at the very worst.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Perhaps I read you first post incorrectly, but I would have done things differently...I would not have been "ready to go it." SInce I would have been by the door, I would have already been in the bathroom as the man approached.

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

I guess some of you all had to be there. This guy made the hair on my arms stand up, and his persistance was very alarming. I have four kids. If I were Nervous Nelly everytime I left the house with them, , well...I would probably never leave the house. I am a kind person, I did smile at him at first when the cookie situation arose, but when he started clapping at my kids for more attention, that was enough. Perhaps calling him a freak was harsh. And yes, he probably was a lonely old man. And my kids are kind, and polite, and do interact quite well with elderly people on a daily basis-they have great-grandparents who are in their 90's. I don't think of myself to be a judgmental person at all. It could have been anyone-young, old, ugly, rich, poor, whatever, but this guy just really creeped me out in a way that I have never felt before. It wasn't ageism, it was instinct.

Better to be safe than sorry. I have a feeling he could have been lonely. His kids probably never see him. He's bored and he likes children. I would have acted the same way. I probaby would have told the kids to pee in thier pants if they can't hold it or ran into the bathroom after them... forget about the manager! We havea forgiving God and if we are ever out of place on how we react, I truly feel he will understand.

It is so hard teaching my 4-year-old about dangers with strangers living in a fairly large city and then having him stay the weekend with my parents who live in a small town where nobody is a stranger to them.
Sorry, allinaugust, but it's better to be cautious than to be another statistic.
If a store manager (not to say THE store manager) felt the op's boys were in danger then there was a reason to be worried.

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Scounds like a crappy experience, linny....and that you trusted your instincts observing the whole scenario and did what you needed to do to protect your boys. If nothing else, this man was stealing from the store and that's not something that you want your kids to think is OK.

Lonely or not, the man needs to have limits and not follow young children around., and especially into the restroom. I guess the good in this is that such things serve as good learning experiences and discussion points. Soooo....no holier than thou from me. What a shame that some people will accuse you as being judgmental without walking in your shoes....

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

He may of just had to go too, he may have been a pervert, he may have been a lonely older guy, people may be judgeing her, she may have been judgeing him.

All could assume is that he had some not totally related things in his cart and was stealing food.

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Predators have often taken advantage of well mannered people of all ages who want to give the benefit of the doubt or not to appear rude or judgemental, when they should be listening to their inner warning system.

I think Linnybop was right in the way she thought about the guy. I can almost say with 99% accuracy that this was the same man that tried to "interact" with my 5 yr DD. We don't live in the same neighborhood but we shop in the same vicinity as one another. This guy gave me the exact same feeling as her. Yes, he might of been an lonely old man but the vibs that he was giving out was not of those. I would of done the same thing as she in this situation and I think that now a days you can't be too careful with your children. You can call me overprotective but I rather be safe than sorry. We actually shop in a very nice neighborhood where you would think that things like kinapping, car jacking, etc doesn't happen, but it does....everywhere, scary places or not.

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Proud Single Mother to 18 year old Twins Ashley/Davey, 14 year old Shawna, 5 year old Emma, and my Boo Bear, "Angel Hope" (1996-1997) RIP Boo.

I agree people like this creep me out but it very well could have been alzheimers sure sounds it but then again I wouldnt chance anything thier are old men out thier that are child molesters we had one living by us when I was a kid oh he was a creep he lived about 2 blocks from us but right next door to him was 2 little boys & their parents moved cause of him

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mom of 3 greats girls

A bit extreme? No way! You were right to be cautious. It only takes a moment for something awful to happen. When he followed your kids to the bathroom that was a huge "weirdo" thing to do. He knew they would be alone in there. Why would he want to get your kids alone? Because he's a freak.
You did the right thing.
He's lucky I wasn't there with you and the boys. You know what I would have done

Yup, I do know what you would have done, and I appreciate that. But I would still like to be allowed in the store. And which one of us would have had to clean up the blood?