I recently found out that my soon to be inlaws were not the "perfect parents" as they portrayed themselves to be. I learned that they stopped celebrating their sons birthdays at the age of 8, so for the past 30 years, my boyfriend has never celebrated his birthday, nor was it acknowledged in anyway. He did not tell me this last year, so last year I just had a small cake for him. This year, now that I know he hasn't had a "real birthday" in so long, I want to do something special for him and kinda make up for all the birthdays that were missed. I was thinking of a surprise party but need some ideas. I was thinking of a retro-party and go back to when he was 9 and think of a theme (Trandformers, superman etc) and have a little something from every year from 9 until now. Do any of you have any ideas/suggestions to make this party extra extra special?

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I just got a firm grip on reality....
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Personally, I would want to be 100% certain that a surprise party won't overwhelm him. Also, the guests are going to wonder why his birthday is being celebrated in such a different fashion. You don't want your BF to be embarassed.
I'm really not certain that I would celebrate past birthdays as this might be a painful memory he'd rather forget. Rather, celebrate the here and now. The past is in the past, why bring it up?

I totally agree to do the party in the present. Maybe a cookout with balloons and games such as horseshoes. badminton adult games like that and if you have a pool you could play some pool games. I would not focus on the past with childhood stuff.

Does he want a party? I'd not like it, even the baby showers dh's co workers gave me i really was not comfortable at them. My kids dont get the huge parties the other kids get cause we dont have the money for it. I dont remember many parties either my parents didnt have a lot,
i remember my birthday in Kindergarden cause it started snowing when they brought the cake in and was almost a blizzard 1/2 way through the party in march ehheh and I remember mcDonalds playland whne I was 6-7 was a huge building with slides and stuff next to the McDonalds, that's all the parties i rmember except normal weekends at grandmas and she'd make special cakes like Tunnel Cake <bundt cake> and other stuff she made
If he wants a party then i wouldnt decorate in kids decorations, he is an adult now

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Maybe you can get him some "retro" candy from here to remind him of his childhood. Old Fashioned Candy, Nostalgic, Retro & Old Time Candies & Grocery: Hometown Favorites

Personally, I would go for an adult party theme.

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I would definitely go with an adult themed party or you're going to be explaining to everyone why there's a child theme. This would most likely make his parents (and him) uncomfortable. When is his birthday? My husband's birthday is in February and I threw him a surprise 30th Mardi Gras style. party..it was a TON of fun! The retro theme sounds like a lot of fun, too!

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Michelle
*Mom to McKenna and Tanyn ~ Nov. 2000 Twins*

I don't think you can or should try to make up for lost birthdays - just live in the present and make the most of it!

IMHO, of course.

cj/

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What you do not wish upon yourself, extend not to others. -Confucius
What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. -Hillel

EXACTLY !!! Words of wisdom for the op.

dl

IME, all men love cupcakes, so you could probably get away with making a platter of cute ones. I remember really liking jello cubes when I was little, but at an adult party, I'd make them jjello shooters instead. There are a lot of fun kids' things you could dress up a bit for an adult party.

I echo the points made by those who are opposed to the reclaim-your-lost-birthdays party.

I think it's sweet that you'd want to make everything up to him that he never had. But in doing so this time, it probably wouldn't actually make up for the childhood sadness, but it MAY cause you to look like you were doing this to look better to him than his parents. I know that's not the message you want to send, but it may actually insult/hurt him (and it WOULD insult them).

Make it a great big adult birthday party, and if he asks why, just wink and tell him that it was due. He'll appreciate it (assuming he likes birthday parties, at least...)

Good luck!

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

Thank you all. I am thinking of having the cupcakes and retro candy since there are alot of neices and nephews. I talked to his brother and instead of a surprise, we are going to just do a small family thing. I don't care about insulting his parents. Ater their trip here and the things they did while staying at my house, they aren't invited and are no longer welcomed at my house. (that's a whole other story)

__________________
I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it