OK, here is the deal. My dh makes pretty good money..but at the present time, he lives in a differ. state ( 4 states away ...15 hour drive ). We are trying to sell our home here, but it has been on the market for a good 2 going on 3 years !...in the mean time, my dh sends me a monthly "allowance" out of his pay...so , to get right to the point, we are living on one income, in 2 households..with another son in college. My ds oiving with me is a jr. in high school..he eats like a saber tooth tiger ! I go thru a good $200 of food ( trying to buy nutrious food like fresh vegs and non processed ) each 2 weeks.

NOw, the allowance I get pays for utilities, college tuition, groceries..gas ( very high here !)..for that point, the groceries are high as well ! At the end of payday..I will be lucky if I have any money left..I am EXTREMELY frugal...I had $2 left over this past pay day to last me a week...after paying for gas and all...

Today, in the mail, I got a free/reduced lunch paper. I have never really been on free lunch, nor my kids..but years ago my ds was on reduced lunch ( 10 cents a day ) because of basically the same situation..My dh was overseas, I was in the US with my 2 children..we had one income, etc. We were approved and I even called to ask if it was "legal " or not

so, I went ahead and filled out the form for free luch..what the heck, they can only deny me. I can't really ask my dh for a "raise"..because he is in the same predicament..he pays for gas to work, his trailer lot rent , elec. food, car insurance, health insurance, etc. My cs ds lives with him as well.

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Oh, I guess I would add that I keep my checking account ledgers..so if they ask for "proof" of to how much I recieve ( btw, do they ask for proof ?)..I can show them I have been getting this amount for the past 2 years...literally, it JUST covers gas, groceries, trash pick up, cable tv and internet, ( we live in the middle of NO WHERE..land of the lost..so this is our entertainment really ) ...oil changes in the truck, etc. My ds also is in band..so he goes on a lot of trips that last for hours..he needs money to eat out..that is really the only time he or I eat out....

Also buy school clothing ( not a lot, just 3 new shirts and shorts this year )..vet care for dog, water bill..etc...I do not live a luxury life at all...

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If you need it get it if you don't leave it for those who do.
They don't check anything they just accept the information you put on the sheet.

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we're a family of 6 on one pay check and dh makes too much for the kids to get reduced . It'll be $35 a week for school lunches when they start. here for 4 people you have to be makeing less than 39k a year.

Since you are not divorcing and its only a temporary seperation you need to put in you dh's income not what he gives you. Try and see what happens

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I have worked at school offices before and processed those forms. I was always told do not question anything, just process the form, file it away & make sure the child gets free meals.

I think the income limits are federal, aren't they??

I find these forms to be really confusing. It says on the back of our form that deployed service members are considered a part of the family. Report only that portion of their income made available to the family. Um, wouldn't that be ALL of it??? Also, it says not to include as income Housing allowance that is part of the Military Housing Privatization Initiative. I guess because it's not taxed??? To me, income is income. If they are not including this, how about not including all other "non taxed" allowances. When deployed to a war zone, no taxes are paid, and the income is not included in the end of the year tallies..... isn't it still income, tho for financial aid purposes???

I'm not attacking anyone, just making an observation.

We don't qualify for free or reduced lunch, even with all "allowances" taken out.

Woops, guess I didn't really answer's OP original ???? I would fill out the form honestly, and leave it up to whoever makes the decision.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I personally don't think that your family's income is the allowance that your DH gives you, it is what your DH makes in total. I do understand what you're saying about supporting two households and appreicate how difficult that must be, however.

Just my 2 cents.

cj/

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If you and your husband are not divorced or legally seperated and you are living apart by "choice". Then I would say you have to report your full income not just what he sends you. I would answer the form honestly what he makes is your families full income.

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This is not always true. Since this is a federally funded program, a percentage of the forms are pulled for federal verification. In this case the parent must prove what they put as income on their forms.

Also, if the school suspects that the situation is different than what the parent puts on the form they can request that the application be verified for "cause" (ie-parent drives a nice new Mercedes Benz and puts on the form that they make $100 a week, or parent puts down that father does not live in the household but they see him at school on a regular basis)

Not judging anyone here, just giving you the facts as they are in my area.

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After reading CJ's reply, I think I was not understanding your post. Are you wanting to only include the "allowance" you get??? If so, no, I don't think you should qualify. Also, the way I am reading your 2nd post about the expense of your child being in Band, that's not a reason to qualify either. I'm in the same boat, and I would not expect to get free or reduced lunch because of it. That's like buying a bigger house than a person can afford, and expecting to get a break on something just because you're paying out so much.

If this is correct, then NO, I don't think you are entitled to free lunch/reduced lunch by using just your "allowance" money to qualify.

A good rule of thumb I use: "let your concious(sp) be your guide"

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Well, I already mailed the form. I put down that my ds and I live on the "allowance" my dh gives us...and that is to me as honest as I can be without it being confusing.

In answer to the one person about military..our situation was..back in 1994-95..we were living in Cuba with dh on a navy base. The base was being "taken over" by roving bands of Haitians..so the govern. ordered an evacuation of all us service dependents. My dh had to stay on the base. The military paid for us to fly to the us and gave us NO KIDDING...$1,500 and good luck wishes. I had NO MONEY. The Navy told us before we left, they would give us a monthly allowance which was NOT our dh's paychecks ( since our dhs still had to maintain a household in Cuba...car payments, groceries, insurance, etc )..we, as dependents..would get money to rent cars, apts, groceries, furniture ( we only got 2 suitcases to bring back with us to the states..we left Cuba to fly to Va..I had to buy a new wardrobe of winter clothing for my ds to go to school )..

WE GOT NOTHING! I had to borrow money from my dad to pay rent, etc. I could not even afford to drive to the nearest military base to get meds for my ds ( ritalin )..since my car was in Cuba and we NEVER got the money to rent a car that the gover. promised us. The school nurse and another official came to my apt ( imagine this..I had NO furniture except for a dingy upholstered chair from Goodwill and a tv my mom and dad lent me )..to ask what was up..why my ds was not on meds. I broke down and explained it all..they told me to get reduced lunch and just let the school know how much WE WERE getting...not how much my dh made..

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I also wanted to add, and this is true..that when the kids go to band outings ( sometimes these are a good 2 hour drive..they get home at one am or so..waaaay past dinner time )...my ds is the ONLY kid who brings like $5 with him for a meal out...If he gets $7 consider him lucky...MOST of the kids ( who I know are on free lunch ) bring $20's or $50's...they have brand name clothing and the moms drive new SUV's...My ds would always ask me for more money..but I told him I can only afford $5 a pop ( these trips will be every Friday so I need a good $20 a month to just get him a few dollar items from McD's ) meanwhile..the "poor kids" are running into the gas stations they stop at to use the bathroom and coming out with hand fuls of cokes, chips, etc..I have seen this since I have been a band mom before and went along with the kids..

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OT, sort of, but, what did you do when your DH was deployed?? I am guessing you had an American bank??? DH hasn't seen a paper pay check in, oh, gosh, over 15 years. This is interesting to me, I have never known of something like this. I am not saying it did not happen, I just have not heard of anything like this. I thought the service member always got paid, unless we run into one of those pesky Fiscal Year budget things.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Alot of us are in this situation. Is band mandatory? If not (just like my dd's orchestra), then I suck it up and pay for things.

Also, my 14 yr old dd works. She babysits. I give her money for trips such as $5-10 and if she wants more, she uses HER money. Can your son get a job to help out?

In May 1994, Operation Sea Signal began and the naval base was tasked to support Joint Task Force 160, here providing humanitarian assistance to thousands of Haitian and Cuban migrants. In late August and early September 1994, 2,200 family members and civilian employees were evacuated from the base as the migrant population climbed to more than 45,000 and the Pentagon began preparing to house up to 60,000 migrants on the base. The last Haitian migrants departed here Nov. 1, 1995. The last of the Cuban migrants left the base Jan. 31, 1996. In October 1995, family members were authorized to return, marking an end to family separations. An immediate effort began to restore base facilities for family use, including a child development center, a youth center, two schools and Sunday school. Additionally, the revitalization of Boy and Girl Scout Camps and the Guantanamo Bay Youth Activities (a free sports program for children) was enacted.

We did have an " American bank " ( Navy Federal credit union which we still have ) HOWEVER,..anyone who knows anything about military pay..my dh was a 2nd class in the Navy...I think E-5..we lived on base..we ONLY got enough to SQUEAK by each month.. With dependents moving back to the US...we could not bring our babies cribs ( my ds was 2 ) or cars, pots and pans, nothing to set up house back in the states..what they did with Katrina was what they were SUPPOSED to do with us, give us a stipend, a place to live..our dh's pay was going towards groceries, car payments, etc...does this make sense ? In other words, imagine if tomorrow you and yours will have to leave the US & fly to China..you have a baby but you cannot bring but 2 suitcases each...no bikes, not your car, not your pots and pans, ironing boards...how would you live ? Your dh cannot support 2 households on military E-5 pay...

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Really, my ds cannot get a job...although he would LOVE one..we live in no wheresville, WV..there is ONLY a walmart which is always gettng applications..only gig in town..there is really nothing here..it is Appalachia..

Band is not mandantory, but it is a way to help him get into college by having a well rounded application..band today for instance lets out at 8 pm..he has to be in school by 7:30 am tomorrow morning..Even if we get free lunch , I will still not give my ds more than $7 to eat out with band..

Get this..at band camp...the "poor kids" on food stamps would *ORDER PIZZA* to be delivered to the camp EVEN THOUGH the band camp gave 3 meals a day..the free lunch kids did not eat it..they ordered pizza, which made my ds want pizza too. I budgeted out $6 a day in envelopes for my ds to spend while at band camp for the week...for cokes, candy, etc.

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What difference does it make if you did? LOL. Cubmom2 said in her original post that she's already DONE it so what's the point in her thread title? (would I? should I? get free lunch for my ds ?) She already sent it in the form so of course, she WOULD. Anybody with any decency knows the answer to whether she SHOULD so this thread would be better named 'Watch Me Beat the System!'.

[quote=cubmom2;3035549]I'm not even going to tell you everything that's wrong with your post. If you can write something like this, you're too far gone morally for anything anybody says to matter. I really love the part about where you only count your 'allowance' as income, though! All of your DH's salary is 'income' but nothing like rationalization, huh? Spending $200 a week on groceries, a homeowner, college tuition, won't get a job yourself to help support your family? And you want the taxpayers to provide your child with free lunch!

Never occurred to you to get to get a job yourself, huh and make your household a TWO income family? Earn money on the internet? Have a yard sale? Sell your computer? NOT spend $200 a week on food? Lower your asking price of your home so it will sell? Consolidate your two households? Anything at ALL before you start welshing off society?

It's people like you that ruined what was originally a good idea. The free lunch program was intended to make sure every child received a nutritious meal but unfortunately, the bums jumped on board and now the taxpayers foot the bill for many parents that CAN afford food and just want to keep their own money for themself instead of lowering their lifestyle.

Congratulations to you! You WILL beat the system and they'll send your form through without even looking a it but no, you're not entitled to it - morally or legally. It's wrong for someone in your position to even try to obtain public assistance but hey, we wouldn't want you to get up off your butt and work for a living like the rest of us! That might limit your browsing here at My Coupons and God knows, posting on a message board is a much more important use of your time than taking care of your family! Just let the taxpayers do that for you and you won't have to limit your extracurricular activities at all. (like posting garbage on message boards)!

First of all, I do not NOT spend $200 a WEEK on food, I spend around $200 every 2 weeks on groceries for a growing teen son and myself, dog, etc. Where we live, in the mountains, food is VERY expensive...gas right now is $3.75...in Fla it is $3.55 and in Va $3.44...

Maybe you MISSED my post above, where I said I have never had my children on free lunch..JUST reduced and that was for the evac period ( one year )..while MY dh was in the military protecting YOUR trifling rear..

I do NOT give my ds $6 a DAY for candy and cokes...If you READ where I posted..I BUDGETED out $6 a day for the WEEK he was in band camp..which btw, caused me to only have $2 left for the remainder of this pay period, 10 days...Band camp involved marching and standing in the HEAT of August until 11 at night and my ds worked very hard so YES..for the WEEK he got to spend $6 a day..oh, and , btw..I got THAT money from the state of Fla where they have money you did not know about..I got $200 back which dated back a good 21 years..I used most to pay MY BILLS and I gave my hardworking boy $6 a day for ONE WEEK.

I ALSO stated that on FRIDAYS that the band TRAVELS he will get $5 to spend for dinner out...NOT A DAY..EVERY FRIDAY...so, before you blow hot air out of your ass, you better read the fine print. & as far as taxpayers...I have been paying taxes probably longer than you are alive..so don't give me that hogwash.

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If they ask for proof you will have to bring in a copy of your DH's LES (leave and earnings statement for those who are not military). That will show your "income" and will decide whether your family is eliglible or not. Regardless of whether you are supporting one or two households. I am not sure what the penalties are for falsification of forms? It is a Federal porgram.

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oh, and btw...speaking of taxes..I have to DRIVE my ds to school each day...even though I PAY TAXES for the school bus, it will not drive up the mountain to pick him up ( too steep..) sooo *I* the TAX PAYER drive my ds to school and back each WEEKDAY to the cost of $20 a week...so take that into account.

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How far up is said mountain?
Can't he walk down to meet the bus or can't you drive him down to meet it? (depending on distance of course)

I also pay taxes for the school bus which my oldest dd does use but not my youngest. I think you are allowing your emotions to get the better of you and that you are forgetting these are things we all pay for. We all pay higher gas, food and educational costs. But, what I think is wrong is you not including all of your income on your sheet you submitted.

When he is at school, can you not find a part-time job?

My pride would not allow me to get free/reduced lunch for my children. But that's me and who I am. I was brought up poor. We qualified for free lunch but my mother would always send us with lunch money. We never NOT had anything. Even if she couldn't afford lunch, she packed us one. We never went hungry and that was with 3 older brothers, myself, and my parents. My mother didn't work (she didn't drive either) and my dad was a propane gas deliverer. When he retired in 1992, he was making $32,000 a year. TOTAL income for all of us, so you figure when we were all home, he wasn't making nearly that much either.

And, it's not that long ago. I graduated high school in 1991.

I know this is beating a dead horse, but I wanted to clarify more of what I posted. When I say I spend $200 every 2 weeks..it is not ONLY for food, but toilet paper, cat litter, cleaning products, etc..which I GO TO the Dollar TREE for most of the time..so, if we are talking actual FOOD...I'd say maybe out of the $200, a good 1/4 is spent on those type things. My ds who is 16 & 6 foot 2, can eat like a horse. My older ds was the same way...you cannot seem to fill them up..I do NOT have snacks around the house ( ho-ho's, chips, cokes ) BECAUSE these are very expensive and like I mentioned before, by the time I buy all the REAL food ( milk, bread, cheese, meats ) I do not have the extra money to buy junk. If my ds wants snacks, he can make home made cinn. toast or yogurt, etc. The $6 at band camp was a TREAT for him..since he could get some sugar in his system from being out in the sun marching and enjoy some candy..we do NOT waste money in my home.

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[quote=aspeed;3035634]How far up is said mountain?
Can't he walk down to meet the bus or can't you drive him down to meet it? (depending on distance of course)


He could walk down to the mountain HOWEVER..the mountain is very very steep with no lights or room to walk..we also have black bears and wild cats, snakes, etc...in the woods beside the road. The bus for his school comes at 7:00..so he'd be walking in the foggy dark down a lonely dark mountain road. At the bottom of the mountain, there is a turn around..usually filled with cars so really, I do not think it is safe to park ass out in the dark ( no streetlights )...on a twisty mountain po-dunk road...



When he is at school, can you not find a part-time job?

I could find a part time job..but like I said, we live in Appalachia..the FEW jobs available are snatched up fast..there is no business here ( except coal mines )..none..jobs are really far and few.

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No, you haven't or you wouldn't still have children at home! (Unless you're still spitting out children you can't support at 50).

Every post you have made is rationalization after rationalization. If you want to bum off of society, them bum but your excuses are growing more ridiculous with each post. And your story is growing more unbelievable, too!

But, to answer your original questions:

Would you? Obviously. You say you already did.

Should you? No. You're not entitled, morally or legally.

But you have, anyway so why are you writing all this garbage on the internet? Wouldn't your time be better spent supporting your family? Assuming that you actually have a family?

I doubt it but I'll play!

So what outrageous reason do you claim to have as to why you won't get up off your butt and work for a living instead of waiting for your DH to dole out your 'allowance'? LOL!

HHHmm..let's see now..I have no family here..I alone am in charge of not only driving my ds to school each day but picking him up..I already said over and over..there are NO places here really to work..this is NOT Las Vegas...it is a tiny mountain town..I can't even take kids in to baby sit cause everyone here is so related they get their mamas to watch the children..Google Appalachia...see where the jobs are let me know if you find one..

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Uh, and JUST to give an example of where I live...Loretta Lynn's butcher Holler is like an hour from here...yeah..the same Butcher holler..sooo many jobs there don't cha know ...

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Would "I" Yes, I would fill the forms out, Should "I' only include the allowance NO:"I' would have included ALL the income, But thats nor here or there since you have already filled the appy out, So we'll leave that alone now.

Op. Can your son take a ice cooler with snacks and drinks instead of spending money you don't have to give ?? On the field trips I take with my kids ( at least 5 a year or more ) I take a ice cooler with our packed lunch from home and a drink for us. Much cheaper than buying the food and drinks to where ever we are going on the trip.

Also, To cut the food cost maybe try to cook Crock Pot meals, Spagi and meat sauce, Beef stew, Chili etc etc.. These are lager meals and should be plenty for a growing child to get "extra plates"..

I know how hard it is to fed a large family on a budget I do it every single week with 4 kids DH and I. I cook lager meals ( when I say larger I mean meals that are larger not the total meal ) I cook a BIG pot of chicken and dumplings, beef stew, chili, Hams( A shank ham will last 2 meals here and the bone gets cooked in beans ).... This might help you with budgeting your foods cost and stretch your meals better. If you have not been to the LET'S GET COOKING board take a run over there, there's tons of GREAT post to help stretch food cost and meals for growning kids and families.

It's really all about choices. We all make choices, sometimes those come back to haunt us (like living at the top of a mountain, in Appalachia).

Basically, you do what you feel is necessary and make a decision you can sleep with.

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To the poster with food ideas. I do appreciate that...Yes, we do a lot of crock pot meals ( chili, chicken, stew )..my ds can eat it all and still be hungry later on..he is ravenous ! I also did pack him meals last week for band practice..I gave him turkey and cheese on whole wheat, with chips and pepsi..

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Ok, I have to go there. I know all too well about the workings of the miltary, and military pay system. You stated earlier in your post that you got NOTHING. This is not true. You had a bank account at Navy Federal. They have locations all over the world, not to mention you could use your ATM card at most any other bank. Your DH's pay would not stop just because you and he did not live in the same house. Therefore, you had that income, in essence. Living in Cuba, you would have been in gov't housing, therefore, no rent, electric, water, etc. Once you left Gov't housing, you would be entitled to VHA/BAH (housing allowance based on rank). The military is not going to just kick families out of their homes with no compensation. I'm sorry, I'm not buying that, and you can't sell it to me, I know much better. This seems to have been a command issue, not one unique to you and your DH.

I know too much about the workings of the military and all the resources available to service members. I hear all too often the "woe is me" and how the military is so awful, and look what they did to us, when it usually boils down to a disgruntled service member or family member with poor planning and budgeting skills.

Just being honest here.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Sometimes the decision we made years ago, that seemed like a really good idea at the time (and probably) were, have a way of morphing into not such good ideas! Sometimes it is simple as the kind of car you buy, to something more complex like who you married or the home you bought! We can't predict those kind of things...

Again, I would just recommend making a choice you can live with after you turn out the lights and it's just you (and God if you're of that belief).

I feel your pain on the ravenous child---I have a 10 y/o who's 5'6", 170#, wears a men's 11.5 shoe--and he just started playing football (pads/helmet/tackle--played flag before). He's a bottomless pit. And it's not junk food--we're talking fish/chicken, brocolli, rice--good for you food!

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I wasn't going to get involved but you made this too easy.
1 At present hubby doesn't live there? What does that mean and why don/t you live where he is as it has got to be better than where you are
2 You are living in the POOREST hell hole in the united states. Get out and move with hubby, Nobody wants to buy a shack at the top of a mountain with bears and snakes, wildcats ect
3 Get rid of the dogs and cats you can not afford them. You can't afford to feed or take care of them.
4 Band will make him more well rounded? Who is paying for his instrument? The schools are first and foremost interested in academics not band.
5 Ever hear of packing a lunch?Sending drinks? Catch a few squirrels and rabbits and make a meal...don't say you haven't eaten it before. Kids from your area are the poster kids for feed the children and other orginizations. Plant a garden
6 I bet you own and carry a gun. Everyone in your neck of the wood does. Guns come before food in that area. I know it well.
7 Everything in your husbands bank account is accessable to you as Wife so you do not HAVE to live on an allowance.You CHOOSE to.
8 MOVE! Ever hear of that? Relocate to somewhere where you kids can walk in peace and not have to worry about wild animals that will attack them but not the family cats and dogs. Somewhere where you can get a JOB and also there will be employment for your kids as well
9 I have had beginnings of the month where I didn't have $2.00 left over and I made it thru the month so don't say it can't be done.

First of all....we are retired military..everything I stated is TRUE. I never said my dh did not get paid, nor that his pay stopped or was not deposited in the account. Yes, we lived in govern. quarters but since we did, the military took OUT our housing allowance to pay for the quarters, electricity, etc. This was old school military, back in the 90's...now a days bah is a whole nuther story..

Again, read what I WROTE..not what you think..I said WE..my 2 boys and myself..did NOT get the money that WE WERE promised by the US governement before we were evacuated . Technically, my dh'sd pay had NOTHING to do with evac orders..

My dh's pay, btw..as an E-5 on shore duty living in base housing JUST paid for our car payment, groceries, and if we were lucky, had $30 left over..this was being VERY VERY VERY frugal and even shopping for groceries at the commissary.

Before we were evacuated..the command had us meet in the autotorium and went over how we would get a stipend from the government for living expenses because we were being forced to move out of our homes...The govern. would pay us money for car rentals, rent furniture, buy groceries, rent an apt. The govern. did NOT know how long this would last...you better believe I sat there and took NOTES in the meeting because I was basically being sent back to the states with 2 children and nothing to settle me in..I was not crying whoa is me..where did I say that ? However..*IF* the Navy moves us out and then says to us in a huge bldg..all command personnel required to attend, that we would get a monthly allowance from the govern..NOT from our dh's pay...and here is how you will get it ..then do NOT TELL Me, retired Navy after 21 years..that this is not true..it is true...

We got a check for $1,500 upon entering the US..that ONLY paid for my move in expenses on an apt...after that..the checks we were supposed to get did NOT come in..no one really knew anything about it ( we were to go to any navy station and tell them we were Cuba evacs and get our pay each month..I suggest you google this on the internet..it did happen..

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And EVERY post contains a sentence similar this one! Funny how that keeps happening on this board.

Some people never know when to quit, do they? In addition to your other claims, this one is ridiculous. No poor person would send that meal. I can name sandwiches just as nutritious at a fraction of the price and we're supposed to believe that you can't? It was already a major stretch to ask us to believe that a hill woman and her boy are too a'scared to walk down their mountain because the 'critters' might get them. And now, you actually want us to believe that you're so poor that you need public assistance yet send turkey and cheese on whole wheat sandwiches with your son, complete with luxuries like with chips and Pepsi? So your latest claim is that hill folk don't know the value of the dollar, either? Go tell that one on the mountaion! LOL.

why do you think we are moving ? The housing market is very bad..our house has sat for 2 years...

no, I do not own a gun..thank you very much.

Yes, I do pack lunches..thank you.

we cannot have a garden, the soil here is very rocky..( we live on a mountain )..and the deer get into it too fast...

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I think I better say some things...

we are not "hill people"..we moved here 3 years ago, when my dh retired from the military..my dh worked at a coal mine, it was sold, so he moved to Fla for another job..we put the house up for sale, but it is not selling..we moved from a very large city to here..yes, it was our choice, and no, it was not too bad at first...I am not some applachian mountain momma..yes, walking in the dark around bears is scarey..in fact, even for the hill people here..they would hoot and holler if they saw us walking in the dark down a hill...

Opal..wheat bread is a dollar a loaf at Kroger..is that a luxury ? the chips were on sale..$1.88 for a big bag...which I divided up into small baggies..and the pepsi was in a bottle that I bought from Kroger for 75 cents.....whoooaa HUGE amount spent there..I am living the high life...a meal at McD's would cost about $7....The turkey and cheese I bought for about $2 a bag..and it made a good weeks worth of sandwhichs...

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Live, Love, Laugh

I survive with my husband, 2 teenage kids (ds is 14yrs old, 6 FT 1.5 inches and 280lbs) FOOTBALL player/wrestling player and dd is a sophomore in the marching band (band field trips I know alot about).. BUT we also have SEVEN fur children.. and we survive on $150 every two weeks for groceries, litter, toiletries and food for the fur babies. Now we aren't eating steak and bon bons but we aren't on reduced lunches either. I'm sorry, I agree, you aren't entitled to the free/reduced lunches. Also even with them the child that can eat you out of house and home is only going to get ONE meal, any extras you will have to pay for. Sorry but if I can squeak out everything I can out of our budget then you can too. I do want to add that we have high speed internet/cell phones/home phone and we go on a major vacation at least once a year (spend over $1k) we drive older cars but nice ones. We doo ALL of this on less than $40k a YEAR! That is right... 4 people, 7 fur children and vacations all on under $40k. Also our rent and electric bill is over $1k a month! It CAN be done and my advice is get a job at the school.. do they need a cafeteria lady? I have a friend who does that and sure she only makes $6+ and hour but she works when the kids are in school and gets to see them quite often. Oh and btw I also drive my kids to and from school... so you get no sympathy from me.. you were/aren't entitled to free or reduced lunches. The seperation is your choice. If you house isn't selling them leave it and go be with your husband. the housing market sucks, plain and simple. No sympathy.. so either suck it up and find a job or move and go be with your man!

To me, what you are doing is wrong. It is like having your DS fill out the form saying that his family income is only $40/month because he gets $10/week for allowance.

But hey, if you can live with yourself, I suppose that is all that matters.

Well, JFC, you are RETIRED military??? so, that means you are getting AT LEAST the retirement pay of an E-6, so what is that??? $1200 a month??? more??? I'd have to check that out depending on when you retired.

I am not disputing the fact that Operation Sea Signal happened. I have googled it, and am now very well aware of it. What I AM disputing is that the Navy just turned you out with nothing. As for the BAH, 1990 wasn't "old school" as far as BAH went. If you lived in gov't housing, you got no BAH/VHA. However, your rent, water, electric was paid for. All you had to pay for was phone and cable. Pretty sweet deal. If you chose to live out in town (not an option in Cuba) you were given an allowance based on your rank. You then had to pay rent, water, electric,etc. So, to tell me with one child, E-5, living in gov't quarters, you were squeaking by, HOG WASH. Here is a pay chart from 1994 http://www.dfas.mil/militarypay/2006...rates/1994.pdf

You said you retired after 21 years, and if I am remembering correctly, your DH retired a year or 2 ago, so, let's see......that would have you all in for around 8 years in 1994, so, based on that, your Basic Pay would be roughly $1400.00 Not including ANY other allowances your DH may have received. If indeed you were squeaking by on $1400 a month, with no rent payment, water bill, or electric, that is no one's fault but your own.

If you were promised money from the Navy, and they did not deliver on that, it was up to your DH to go to his command and find out what happened. Sorry, like I said, I know WAY too much in this realm. No pulling the wool over my eyes.

I agree with OpalDancing, rationalization seems to be what you are doing here. You have already submitted the paperwork, so what is done is done. No amount of bantering back and forth will change that.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Cubmom, I read only through page 1. Had to stop when I heard the "some people should not have kids" line.....



You fill or filled out the form already, so.... my advice would be, and I have done this, is be totally honest, answer the exact questions they ask. Then include a side note, stating any information you deem relevant to your situation. The money is allocated for children whose families cannot afford a school lunch. If you feel that you cannot, I say explain, ask. Only you know what you really need. Someone else cannot make that judgement based on a post. You certainly do not sound like a money sucker to me..... contrary to popular belief here, there are few that are. Most are trying to LIVE. Not just survive, but actually live. Free school lunch for your kids is not a crime if you believe it's necessary.

LOL! That really leaves your options wide open, doesn't it? You aren't supposed to be making the determination of what you consider 'necessary'. You're supposed to list ALL income and see if you qualify for public aid by meeting the established criteria.

Applying TRUTHFULLY with correct information for free lunch is not a crime. Claiming only your 'allowance' as your income definitely is a crime - and it's a federal one. Getting a free ride at other's expense when you could easily drop luxuries like potato chips and soft drinks and use that money to pay for the school lunches yourself is a moral one.

What a disgusting attitude! You don't appear to understand that public assistance is only meant to help you survive until you can take care of yourself. People who want to live it up should pay for it themselves. Your entitlement attitude is exactly WHY there's popular belief that so many welfare recipients are leeches!

Thank you very much for your kind voice. Yes, I certainly will explain to the officials if I am asked LIKE I DID BACK IN 1995 when the school nurse came to my house..I don't know where some nay sayers are saying I am trying to hide it or get a free ride. I am stating how much money I get each month to spend on my household.

Yes, Miss pledge of alligence who knows oh so much about the military says I should be living it up on $1,400 my dh gets for retirement..but again, I said, my dh is living out of state, paying for lot rent, a camper, our oldest son to be in college, truck payment, food groceries, gas to work and back, utilities, he is spread thin as I am.. Not to mention our mortgage here, insurance on the house, and taxes..oh, but we should be LIVING it up with $1,400 a month plus what little he makes now...

This is not a choice we made..we did not chose to be apart..his job ended and there was NO WORK in the area so he had to move out of state...he is supporting our family but ---BUT which was the original intent of this entire thread..BUT..if we CAN & SHOULD qualify, then I will fill out a REQUEST CHIT as we say in the navy ( are you paying attention miss red white and blue ?) and REQUEST free or reduced lunch..if not..so be it...

now --IF I was saying we have no money after our boat payments, private school payments...bingo nights out, etc..THEN I can see where I am frivolous...

oh, and btw Miss miliary..yes, we WERE living close to the cuff..we owned a home in Jax before being ORDERED to move to Cuba...the house was not selling..so we were paying RENT as well as upkeep on that home ...so before you talk about going to the command to see what was up with the payments...you should educate yourself on REAL lives of military families..and not just what you read on paper.

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Live, Love, Laugh

You know what ? I was a lunch lady in Va Bch ! Yep...loved it..I did in fact, ask here at the ONE high school in the county ( Va Bch has like 9 high schools as well as elem. jr. high , etc..but here, it is one high school..one grammar school, one middle school..but , I digress..)

I did ask about any hiring in the cafeteria..I love food service and I am very good at it..the manager told me they are not hiring..and when they do, it is only for subs..and takes years to be put on even part time...

If I walk away from my house..my credit is shot to hell..and I have good credit..do not want that...

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Live, Love, Laugh

Opaldancing.... disgusting attitude? You think that portion of my reply showed a disgusting attitude?

What a reflection on you.

Stop crying, use up the last of your tissues and AMEND the form. Actually, you should rescind the form, and apologize to those you submitted to for wasting their time. Don't hide behind "if I am asked", what pure bs that is.

An "allowance" is not what you determine, it's total income. Allinaugust states relevant facts, and even provided a source. Don't cry being separated, etc when so many in the military have done it, or live it now. How do I know she has relevant points? Because we are retired military as well.

Out of tissues yet? Then get busy helping yourself in so many of the ways others have posted here.

cpsfsissoi

Consider the source, Kath..

I like to know where I was *living it up * ? Was it my whole wheat sandwhichs and pepsi ?

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Live, Love, Laugh

I guess I am personally not privvy to the info that would enable me to determine whether the OP was or was not eligible for the free or reduced lunch program. I'm not sure how the rest of you are able to say that she is not. As I said before, I think OP needs to include income as defined by the application, which is likely not the "allowance" that she is receiving from husband.

That said, I do find it somewhat troubling to read what sounds like both disdain and envy of the "poor people" who receive free lunch yet are able to buy soda and junk food. I'm a little confused by that. You seem to think it's wrong, yet seem to want to join it. Can you explain that?

Also, just curious, but how does your ds, a high school junior, feel about bing a free lunch student? Is he good with it?

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Part of the point is, the op #1 asked, and #2, obviously knows (although she's dancing around admitting it with all of her rationalizations) that her self made "allowance" is not what is correct. When someone posts like this, I think they know the true answer, but won't admit it.

No, you are right, none of us know if she is eligible or not, and she won't really know unless she puts down the true income, retired military included.

dl

I do have to say that if I personally needed to get free lunch for my kids, I would not be buying dog& cat food and kitty litter. Pets would be long gone. Sure, I'm not an animal person, but feeding kids from my own resources would definitely come first. The other is icing on the cake. But then again, I know an E-9 who is losing his house but has 3 horses, so there are a lot of things out there that make no sense to the practical me.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Hi,
I'm a teacher and we see all aspects of the lovely "lunch form" use/abuse. At our school, it ranges from people who drive Hummers who "qualify" for free lunch to people living in a garage whose pride does not allow them to seek government help. As teachers, we don't investigate. In fact, we urge everyone to fill-out their app. in hopes of having our school achieve 51% free or reduced lunch. If we achieve this, we receive extra funds from the government.
To the OP, our school will feed your child a PBJ sandwich and milk each day if she/he doesn't have a lunch. You might want to tell them your situation and see what happens. Good luck!

Cubmom, would it be possible for you to move to Florida, live with your DH, and get a job there? I realize you would still own the house in VA, but at least in FL you'd have your family all together and there would be more opportunties for financial advancement. You'd save on so many things - not having to full sets of utility bills, not having that gas up and down the mountain, etc., and so long as you were still paying the payments in the house in VA it wouldn't hurt your credit.

Lots of houses sit empty and unsold and on the market. It's not ideal, but neither is the situation you're in now.

That is an option we are looking at..Right now ds is in high school so we may just stick it out here for his jr. and sr. year...if we moved to FL though, we could not afford a house big enough to fit us al plus pay the mortgage and taxes on this house. . My dh is living in a tiny trailer for now...

In fact, my dh's navy retirement check just about covers all the mortgage for our house now, plus the taxes and insurance, utilities...

I have a positive outlook though, and things will get better.

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Live, Love, Laugh

Of course there's many opinions on this situation and I have my own too.

I agree with others that said you should report all income, not just your allowance since you're not legally separated or divorced, if I understand you correctly. And maybe you would still qualify for free or reduced lunches if you did report all income since you've led me to believe that your DH doesn't make that much money.
Also, though your home in WV may not be selling, why pay for electricity, internet connection, possibly water and any other expenses that could be paid at just one home were you to move to where your dh is at. Of course you would still have the mortgage, insurance, etc. expenses but some things could be eliminated or reduced to just one home. That alone should save some money. Also, as someone else pointed out, maybe moving to where your dh is would allow you more opportunities to work and that would off set some of the home expenses in WV.
It's always easy to sit back and say what others should be doing with their money, how they could save by packing a lunch, sending a drink, etc. Sometimes it's harder to hear that advice and actually do it.
OP, unfortunately, you ask if you should apply for a free lunch, you gave out many details and opened the flood gates of judgment on your situation wide open. I try hard to not be judgmental of others, what they do as I feel they will have to answer for their choices. I can't say that I agree with only reporting your allowance as income. I read that you believe that income covers YOUR household and you shouldn't have to report your dh's income as that covers HIS household. I, however, disagree with that. YOU, DH and your CHILDREN are still one family even if you're living separately.
JMTC.

can you move and rent your house in the mts? this would allow you to be with your hubby, get the payment made on the house you are trying to sell and cut your costs.

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There are two ways to look at that situation, though. Right now, you've got a teenage boy living without the daily influence of his father, and when those two years are over it'll be time for him to leave the nest.

Is staying in the same school more important than staying together as a family? Long-term, which relationships are more important to solidify?

Personally, I'd rather see our kids and my husband and I under the same roof for the years my DS is doing his final preparation for "life launch" than maintaining school continuity.

Also regarding affording a place in FL... you could do it if you picked up an income and lost some of those expenses you're currently carrying because you have two sets of bills. You'd still have two housing payments but not two sets of utilities.

Is having more living space more important than being together?

Way too many variables for anyone to really give THE answer for CM. A lot of great advice though, some things to think about for sure.

You should focus on the positive and see what you can come up with. As far as free lunch for your children, it's good to know, options like Flowerchild and others are out there for you and your family. No child should go without lunch.

I was under the impression it was a federal form, therefore your adjusted gross income from your 1040should be used to fill the form out.
I will refrain from judgement, but I can tell you I have worked my whole life, as has DH. I would do anything i need to do to earn a living to support my family, because I chose to be a mom.
We live in the Appalacian mountains. Our unemployment rate is high. My oldest ds works, and my little guys get paid by the local farmer for helping pick fruit and vegetables for money and produce. When the ecomomy went south this year, we quadrupled our garden. I have put up lots of food to reduce our grocery bill. Our soil is rocky, and we have deer. I spent some of my "stimulus" check (the one i didnt agree with) on a triaxle of topsoil, some chicken wire fencing and a couple of fruit trees. I have three sons that eat like horses, not to mention DH. I raise chickens for eggs. We picked wild berries to make jam. we have a freezer filled with fish fillets we caught ourselves.
My kids wear hand me downs, neatly washed and pressed. most of my stuff is second hand, including the iron I just had to replace for $2. It does not have every bell and whistle, but it works great and saved me at least $30.
My house is paid for and I have a few investments and savings, and no credit card bills. This is how I want to live, relying on my self and my husband, and not anyone else.
anyone's situation is dependant upon how much you wish to improve it yourself.

You have balls of brass lady. You post your personal business on this forum and then have to keep justifying yourself. Then I read the christmas shopping topic and who pops up but YOU...my head is going to explode. You are focusing on Halloween candy you state.That takes balls. We have found out that you have a bigger income than many on here and you are still whining and applying for free lunches. Who are you expecting to climb that mountain that is snake,wildcat and bear infested? I can not imagine going to your door for a piece of candy. I wouldn't go to your door with the national guard.

I am a single mom with two kids. I fill out the free/reduce lunch form every year. The way it is done here is you fill out one form even if you have multiple children. So what their form asks me is ... how many kids live in your house that are of school age. So I list each of mine and then they ask how much money do they make. I put down no b/c my kids right now dont work, it ask if I have foster kids.. which in my case no. Then they ask others living in home that arent already marked. Its just me b/c I am divorced. Then I put down how much money I make before taxes also they ask how I get paid, I put that down as in monthly, twice a monthly, weekly etc. Then they ask if i get child support, etc. I put down my child support amount. Now I just figured that everybody's form was kind of the same. If i was filling yours out I would put down your son, yourself, and your husband and then put down your husband salary. I wouldnt put your son who isnt living in your home b/c he is away at college. and we dont mail ours we send ours back in the school with the kids.

steph

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I'm curious as to why you are putting your older son through college yet seeking free lunch for your younger son? If your financial situation is as dire as you claim it to be, surely your older son would qualify for financial aid. At the very least, he could get a loan to pay back after graduation like tons of us did. You said yourself that a loaf of bread is a buck, chips are $1.88 that you can separate into baggies and turkey is $2 that can be used for sandwiches all week. Sounds like your son doesn't need the free lunch program when you have lunch covered yourself so cheaply already.

I could continue, but the bottom line is that you knew what you were doing was wrong and you were hoping that someone here would make you feel better about it. All you have done in every single reply you've posted is make excuses for what you know was the wrong thing to do.

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WAHM to DS (11)and DD (8½)

Our forms are the same as mykentuckykids
But there's a section that ask if you get food stamps or TANN (?)( Or something like that, I don't know what it means but its there )We have to list all our income even my son's SSDI.We only fill out 1 form for all the kids ( 4 ) and it's based on this and our income. we get reduced price a lot better than paying 2.25 @ 3 of the schools and 2.75@ the other, Plus Breakfast is .40 for all 4 kids. My 12 yo packs her lunch most days she says the school serves ""Mystery Meat"" LOL !!.

But we do have to send in a snack for all 4 kids daily ( a snack and drink ). They sell snacks out of the machines but HOLY CRAP they are .80 for crackers and .80 for a fruit juice thats 1.60 x 4= 6.40 FOR SNACKS ! I can cook a meal for that much for all 6 of us !!

I too thought the forms were the same in each state/ city/ county.

i knew this was going to be a HOT topic when i read it this morning!

I forgot to say they do have a check box if you Medicaid/food stamps enter the number.

steph

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1. Do I need to fill out an application for each child?
No. Complete the application to apply for free or
reduced price meals. Use one Free and Reduced Price School Meals Application for all students in your
household. We cannot approve an application that is not complete, so be sure to fill out all required
information.
Return the completed application to: Your local School Cafeteria

2. Who can get free meals? Children in households getting Food Stamps or TANF and most foster children
can get free meals regardless of your income. Also, your children can get free price meals if your
household income is within the free limits on the Federal Income Guidelines.

3. Can homeless, runaway and migrant children get free meals?
Please call the homeless/migrant
coordinator at XXX-XXXX to see if your child(ren) qualify, if you have not been informed that they will get free meals.

4. Who can get reduced price meals?
Your children can get low cost meals if your household income is within
the reduced price limits on the Federal Income Chart, shown on this application.

5. Should I fill out an application if I got a letter this school year saying my children are approved for free or reduced price meals?
Please read the letter you got carefully and follow the instructions. Call the local school if you
have questions.

6. I get WIC. Can my child(ren) get free meals?
Children in households participating in WIC may be eligible for free
or reduced price meals. Please fill out an application

7. Will the information I give be checked?
Yes, we may ask you to send written proof.

8. If I don’t qualify now, may I apply later?
Yes. You may apply at any time during the school year if your
household size goes up, income goes down, or if you start getting Food Stamps, TANF or other benefits. If you lose your job, your children may be able to get free or reduced price meals.

9. What if I disagree with the school’s decision about my application?
You should talk to school officials.
You also may ask for a hearing by calling or writing to

10. May I apply if someone in my household is not a U.S. citizen?
Yes. You or your child(ren) do not have to be a U.S. citizen to qualify for free or reduced price meals

11. Who should I include as members of my household?
You must include all people living in your
household, related or not (such as grandparents, other relatives, or friends). You must include yourself and all children who live with you.

12. What if my income is not always the same.
List the amount that you normally get. For example, if
you normally get $1000 each month, but you missed some work last month and only got $900, put down
that you get $1000 per month. If you normally get overtime, include it, but not if you get it only some

13. We are in the military, do we include our housing allowance as income?
If your housing is part of
the Military Housing Privatization Initiative, do not include your housing allowance as income. All other
allowances must be included in your gross income.

THIS IS OUR FORM WE FILL OUT EACH YEAR.

Food Stamp or TANF case # (if any).

INSTRUCTIONS FOR APPLYING
If your household gets FOOD STAMPS OR TANF, follow these instructions:
Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

Part 6:

Check the appropriate box and contact [your school, homeless liaison, migrant coordinator].
Fill out application by following instructions for ALL OTHER HOUSEHOLDS.
If you are applying for a FOSTER CHILD, follow these instructions:
Part 1: Use a separate application for each foster child.

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

Part 6:

ALL OTHER HOUSEHOLDS, including WIC households, follow these instructions:
Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Column 1–Name:

Column 2

Earnings from work:

Column 3–Check if no income:

Part 5:

Part 6: Answer this question if you choose to.Part 6. Children’s racial and ethnic identities (optional)
Mark one or more racial identities: Mark one ethnic identity:
�� Asian �� American Indian or Alaska Native �� Hispanic or Latino
�� White �� Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander �� Not Hispanic or Latino
�� Black or African American �� Other