DS is almost 13 and DD is 9. Everything she does bothers him lately...and I mean EVERYTHING. He always has a sarcastic remark or something mean to say to her, and it is really hurting her feelings. I know it isn't all one-sided...she knows how to push his buttons too, but this is making me crazy. Of course, I remember back in the day being irritated with my twin sister for breathing too loud, but now that I'm on the parental side of it I need suggestions.

Will this phase end, and when??? What can I do in the meantime? I try to tell each of them to ignore the other, but he gets so "pissy" for lack of better terms, and she ends up in tears. Please help!

Ahhh the fighting, reason I'm SO glad schools back in session, my 15 and 10 year olds go at each other all day and my 5 and my 10 year do, not so much but they do, and my 5 and my 3 year old go at each other, that's the sad one though cause the 3 year old wins cause he's bigger than the 5 year old. Actually the 10 and the 5 dont start til the 15th so I still hear it BUT the day is coming for just me and my baby boy who tells me all the time "Mommy your my bestest buddy!"


I could give each their teachers a big hug, well except one, oldest had a messed up scedule and he's marked as cutting class but he was just following his schedule so talking to her tomorrow, I mean he was there he just went where the paper said to go and the other teacher didnt say anything :-/


Hang in there! <HUGZ>

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HOn hang in there things will get better, my son Thomas is now almost 20 and my daughter Caitlinn is 16 there were times they would fight over such silly things and him being older always wanted to boss her around , however today they are simply the best of friends, and now she tells him thanks for being my big brother and he is so protective of her, So please hand in there things will get better I promise. Peace. Catherine

Oh my gosh, I could have written the same thing except my two are a ds who is also almost 13 and my dd is 11. He can be so mean to her I just want to scream. I know she does things to him but she is not mean like he is. I hope it gets better but I don't see it happening any time soon. Maybe if we each traded one child for a while it will be better. lol

I, too, could have written this post! DD is almost 18 and DS is almost 16 and I'm still waiting for them to get along or even just like each other a little bit. DD has resented her brother since the day we brought him home from the hospital. He tried to idolize her but her meanness rubbed off on him and he started being mean back from the time he was about 5. I gave up years ago trying to get them to like each other. They both still get punished when they cross the line with each other. I just keep telling myself that someday they will probably live on opposite coasts and will only have to see each other if they come home for Christmas!

We have this same problem, DD is 13 and DS 10. Its gotten a lot better lately because a while back we made them stand in the hall and hug for 10 minutes because they would not stop fighting. Now all I have to do is say, do we need to hug? Stops them right away!

That is excellant advice,lol.

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I have DS 13 and DS 11 who occasionally go at it. I still send them to their rooms when things get out of hand. Neither one likes this punishment so it does seem to be effective to some point. I'm also sure that it will pass -- there are so many times that they get along really well.

Wow! I'm right there with you all. ds is 14 and dd is 9-arch enimies. I've tried talking to them and explaining that it is their childhood that they are spending being so bitchy toward eachother...they don't seem to care. I find that sad, so much time wasted.
It helps to see from all of you that this is normal, ugly, but normal.

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In the same boat here.
DS is 12 and DD is 10. He is always so irritable with her. Everything she does seems to bug him. He has no tolerance for her. Other times he is very affectionate and loving toward her, especially in the morning. It is very sad as DD always says she wishes she had a sibling that was nice to her. She definately wants to be friends with him. I'm hoping they outgrow it too.

Oh my, I remember those days. In fact, they still do it at 19 and 21 given the opportunity! lol

I have little advise really. The hug thing worked occasionally for us, they would end up giggling and it would be forgotten, but there has to be a better more lasting way.

I can tell you that even though they still occasionally bicker, they love each other immensely. It warms a mother's heart! One day you'll be there!

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I call it bonding.

except mine try to sqeeze each other to death, we tried that before

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That is such comforting advice! How sweet of a picture, and I am sure that all of us hope that our fighting teen children will turn out this way!

Thanks for sharing.


ROFL! We tried that as well, and you would have thought that we were torturing them!

i have the same thing a dd who is 15 and a ds 12 1/2. I've often wondered if if had had 2 of the same sex kids if it would be worse or better? The problem now is my 12 yr old is taller then his sister and outwieghs her...lol. Then on the flip side if someone says something about one of my kids even if they are joking the other kids is ready to fight them over it.

steph

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My DS is 13 and DD is 9, they argue quite a bit too. We make them stand facing each other and hold hands while singing the Barney song (I love you, you love me....). If one of them crosses the line to disrespect the consequence is cleaning their sibling's room. My DS absolutely HATES this consequence. He is miserable in DD's pink room that's scattered with naked Barbie's, HM posters, Build-a-bears, and featerh boas in assorted colors. DD doesn't care to clean her brother's room either because he is so particluar about what goes where. No advice, just letting you know you aren't alone LOL

Selena

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