O k here is the story, yesterday was my annual at my gyno doctor, so of course there are pregnant women as well. Anyway while i was waiting there was a very pregnant lady who was sitting next to some other lady and that started a conversation. Of course the waiting room is pretty quite, well anyway before you knew the lady who was not pregnant but when through it 4 times was telling this poor women who was pregnant with her first baby all the horrible scary details. The young women appeared to be nice and listen, however I can tell and others she was becoming uncomfortable with the whole conversation.Now I ask this because when i was pregnant each time, I heard many storeis. And I always felt that each pregnancy is different and no one should ever give advice on their labor and delivery. I felt very bad for this young lady , she must have went home and cried. I always remember my mom and my aunts telling me its nothing they knock you out and you awake and its over. Well perhaps that was then . So i say everyone;s labor and delivery are all different and I feel you should not tell horror stories to scare anyone. So whay is everyone;s thoughts on the subject. peace. CAtherine

Labor stories didn't bother me, but then I wasn't told anything horrible. I ended up having C-sections though, so labor stories didn't really bother me, since I didn't think I would be going through labor. I was wrong though and showed up at the hospital 6-7 centimeters with both of them.

"how do u all feel when someone who has had a baby describes her labor to someone " ?


I feel sore?

It really bothered me to hear horror stories when I was pregnant. The hormones were giving me anxiety/panic attacks as it was and hearing about others' labor and delivery didn't help me at all! I was so intensely scared by my due date; it wasn't even funny.

As you said, every experience is different and so I believe that these stories should be saved for sharing with those who already have gone through the experience rather than with a first-time pregnant mom.

I personally do as you do and tell first-time moms that every labor/delivery experience is different and leave it at that.

I don't tell labor horror stories either because I don't really have any and I don't think it's helpful to do so. I usually try to nip it in the bud by making some humorous comment that it can't be too bad, because women go back for 2nd, 3rd, and more...and/or that women have been having babies for centuries, so it can't be too bad.

Other than that, I usually try to say something helpful....like that I found walking as much as possible to help my labor/progress.

cj/

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I think it should be a general rule that birth/labor stories shouldn't be shared with pregnant women.

But for some people, labor can seem like a rite of passage, and many women feel the need to *share* their particular journey. I can understand that, from the perspective of each of these women, hers was a shocking and unique situation. Each person that I've ever heard seems to believe that nobody could ever have remotely experienced something as intense, scary, painful, exciting, etc. However, millions of births have occurred - why is it that labor stories seem so one-of-a-kind to the one who's gone through it? We know that labor is such a powerful, personal experience, I, myself was convinced at the time that *I* was the only one who could possibly have gone through something like this ( I'm definitely among those who have shared too much...).

I have had a few friends and one sister who stated after the fact of their own deliveries, "How come nobody told me what this would be like? I had no idea what to expect!"

So I guess it's a balancing act. Women like to be somewhat informed, but should only be told about other women's "war stories" if they ask. However, pregnant women should be spared all of the wacky details.

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Because I had twins with a vaginal delivery, folks for some reason seem to want to know the gory details. (I guess at the time it was unusual) I try to keep it as low key as I can and tell them to get the epidural and move on.

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I only share my birth stories with my closest friends, and either of them were extremely scary. But I tell them after having a baby, I wish someone had told me after having my first that I would feel like S ***. And you cant recover gracefully b/c you have a sweet, crying baby to take care of...lol. when all you feel like is sleeping for a week and not moving...lol.

steph

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I always stop them and say "I had 21 hours of labor and a c-section been there done that!!!"

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i have seen many gory/scary movies...but the scariest of all was the one we watched in lamaze class! terrified me into not wanting to face labor at all. actually my first was my easiest and best delivery, now i have 3 girls. last was the worst!

When I was pregnant, I actually sought out as many awful stories as I could. My theory was if they lived through that and survived to tell the tale, then obviously anything is possible! (And if anybody wants to hear any good birth stories, I have personal experience of a 10 lb 3 oz baby girl and a completely unmedicated birth -- ouch, but what a blessing! )

I wanted to hear as much as I could too, and actually looked up birth videos on YouTube. As it turns out, my birth could have gone better, but I'd never use it to intentionally scare anyone. And there were odd points, too, like a couple of hours of tiring but painless contractions. No one told me about that part!

I am with those that said they wanted to hear all the stories so they could be better prepared. I was amazed by the strangers that would come up to me and tell me some very personal accounts but I liked it. It was like joining an elite and secret society. It may have also helped that I was older and very excited about my pregnancy.