A family member of mine e-mailed me today to let me know that she signed a petition on prop 8 banning the marriage of same sex couples. I feel that anyone can do what they want as far as marriage is concerned and felt is was necessary to let her know that I did not feel the same.

I just replied to the e-mail and said that I don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers, but I did not feel the same.
I left it at that, but just feel bad telling my family that I do not agree with everything that they want me to.
I know I am my own person and all, but I think that they might look at me differently because I do not side with them on politics.

ehh anyways, just thought I'd post my thoughts here. Do any of you come across the same thing with your family?

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-Kristi

This kind of thing happens to me all the time. Whether it's the in-laws or my own mother. Sometimes I just kind of bite my lip and stare away. Other times it can be hard not to say something back. I guess I just pick and choose my battles. Hang in there. I'm sure they love you no matter what your opinion. Just as you love them no matter what their opinions or beliefs are. We're fortunate to live in America where we can share our opinions and beliefs.

havent talked to my moms parents in 5 years. I dont claim them as family and I dont think they claim me either. I'm not missing anything and because of them being a buncha loons their missing 4 great-grandkids. They dont like that I dont believe in their immoral, illegal ideas, Oh well.

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For me this is personal because my Brother Sonny was married and was gay and same sexed marriages in my feelings are no different then any other marriage. They as anyone else deserve the same rights as all us living people who jsut because they choose a different lifestyle, why should they not be married. Sheesh its 2008 get with the program. Sadly however we cannot change what another persons thoughts or feelings are on the subject. I believe live and let live. Peace. Catherine

Honestly, if it was an email, and it was not attacking me personally, and I did not agree with it, I would have just hit delete. Life is too short....

My MIL is a biggot and has very different points of view from us. Because of that we only see her 4-5 times a year (we live in the same town). Now when starts talking about something like this, we very loudly change the subject. I don't get mad anymore - it's just not worth it. When I get a forwarded e-mail from her, I delete it unread.

It happens ALL the time with both sides of the family. We run into battles with DH's family with abortion (we are pro choice and MIL Is pro life), same sex marriage rights (we are for them and they are against them) plus religion in general (they are Catholic and we are "no religion"...nothing really classifies us right now). With my parents we disagree on gay rights mostly. We try to avoid the topics we disagree on...makes life easier.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I probably would have just hit delete on that email. However, if I had to answer, this would have been the response......

Dear loving relative,
Good for you for opposing Prop 8! It's important to stick to your beliefs and vote your conscience.

Hope none of your kids are gay.

Love,
Your relative

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bite me and get a brain!

Delete is a greatoption and dont even respond, they wouldnt know if you passed it on or not

__________________
Books just wanna be FREE! See what I mean at:
http://bookcrossing.com

My other favorites
www.paperbackswap.com
www.wheresgeorge.com
www.geocaching.com

This is an issue I'm a bit worried about. My inlaws would fall in the same group as your family member, while my views are more of the 'Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others' type. I avoid any potentially dangerous topics as much as possible, and change the subject if anything comes up, but I do worry a bit about what's going to be said in front of my son. He's tiny right now, but I'm hoping they'll have the sense to refrain from saying some things. My husband was raised with a lot of homophobia, and I can't say that having a group of people to fear was exactly beneficial for him.

Thanks for all of your responses! I am so sorry to hear that many of you have had such heated arguments that you don't really speak to your relatives. I am just annoyed with them asking me if I am going to church, if I want to go with them, on and on. They did not agree that we didn't get married in a church,but they finally got over it! Now it's something new.....ahhhh well I guess it will never end
Thanks for the support!

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-Kristi

OP, I'm so with you!

I keep getting attacked with forwards in my email account regarding a political stand that I DON'T share w/inlaws! I want to let them know, but can't muster it up...

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

What would you accomplish by letting them know you think at best they are misinformed/misguided or at worst complete and utter fools?(yes, I know you wouldn't be as crass to call them fools--but I think you know that people get offended at the strangest of things sometimes....)

My mother, God Love the woman, is not the necessarily the most computer literate of people. She's all the time sending me/fwd'ing me stuff that definitely doesn't fit my views, but I would never, ever say anything to her! Part of it is done out of ignorance (she doesn't know snopes.com), part of it is done out of love/affection, and part of it is done just to stay in contact (we talk by phone, and share "normal" emails, but....). Unless the email directly attacks me (or the kids!) I just delete it. Half the time I don't even read it all the way through....

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I used to be like that but when my mom passed away I realized I don't have the time nor inclination to worry about what anyone other than my dh and kids think. I'm an atheist and the rest of my family is most definitely not. I finally told them to stop forwarding me all that religious crap b/c I didn't believe in it. I've been much happier since then. I think you just need to realize that you have to make YOU happy first, not them.

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

I figure anything I say won't change their opinions so why respond. I tend to delete almost all FW's unless they are funny ones. I usually get a kick out of those and will reply to those... My hope is that they will get the *hint* that I enjoy humor!

Oh yes we just had one the other night my grandma is voting for OBama thier are certain things I dont like about what he stands for so I about fell over when she told me this I had to let her go off the phone I didnt know what to say

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mom of 3 greats girls