I need to hear from other mothers/dads who have had their boys get married.

What did you pay for? How did you pay for it? Did you just give them the money and say "do as you want with it" or did you write out the checks as you went along to pay for things.

I am kind of upset. My future daughter in law and son came over Sunday night (we asked them over) so we could discuss their upcoming wedding next September, and to surprise them with an announcement that we wanted to help pay for their wedding-further than what I had read was our responsibility .

Future DIL is only planning a $2500-5000 wedding. We were told by the future DIL that her father was paying for it all, so our money was not needed, however she wants for us to pay for the honeymoon.

She said she wanted to go on an Alaskan cruise for $6000.

WHAT??

Then dh said we would love to give them $2000 towards the wedding and included in that was a $500 Wedding gift (so basically $1500 towards the wedding and $500 as their gift). He then said they could use it how they pleased, but out of that money would be any responsibilities we would traditionally have for the wedding (they are not having liquor at the reception, so we are only to pay for the Rehearsal dinner-which we determined would be about $575). So basically, they would have about $1000, plus if they wanted to use their wedding gift with it.. $1500 towards a honeymoon.

Me, I would have been ecstatic! Her and my ds? Disappointed!!! They never once said Thank you.

Dh and I were floored. I was kind of hurt. I mean, that is not chump change and we were very excited to tell them that we wanted to help financially. It is a lot for us to do right now while putting our oldest through College....but we feel it is something that we would do for all of our boys.

How would you feel and would you have done anything differently (hence the etiquette question!) ?

I think you did exactly right. If they're old enough to get married, they're old enough to either plan a honeymoon they can afford or to suck it up.

If you haven't withdrawn the $2,000 offer already, you're nicer than I think most would be! These two want to spend $11,000 on a wedding and honeymoon? They better start saving fast!

The only rude people here were your son and his fiancee. Hopefully your reaction will make them realize that they're being kind of bratty.

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Totally rude. Sorry your son and his soon to be wife are acting like spoiled little BRATS in the matter.Personally me, and this is just me, I wouldn't offer the money again. If your son says anything else to you about it, tell him oh sorry I figured the 2 of you didn't want the money since you never said Thank-You and I would walk away leaving him wondering.

I just read somewhere where his parents pay for the honeymoon. That was the first time I had heard of that.

Have they started planning yet? My DS got married in June and she had a budget of $5000 and she was very frugal with her plans. It was a beautiful wedding and she did much of the work herself to make it stretch.

She wanted a family pitch-in for the rehearsal so her DM and DGM and my DM and I all made dishes for the rehearsal dinner and it was really nice.

For the reception she had the meat catered and we provided the side dishes.

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I know what etiquette says, but I believe it is sexist. I think that a parent should treat each child equally at the time of their wedding. I think that it is fair to pay for 1/2 the wedding, if it is within your means. BTW, I have one daughter, one son.

DS got married last December. We helped along the way, paying for things as we saw fit. We paid for the rehersal dinner, and helped cater the wedding reception. I chipped in on the bridal gown because I knew DIL could use the help. DH and I gave them $2000 toward the honeymoon. They ended up going on a short close to home honeymoon (instead of Venice), so they used the money as they saw fit. We were able to help out, but it was really over and above. Traditionally, the grooms parents pay for the rehersal dinner, and give what they can as a gift.

ohhgodd, I think that paying for the rehersal dinner and giving them cash is more than enough. As far as not offering the money again, I think that's a really bad idea. Your DS and future DIL are acting unreasonable, but you don't want to cause any relationship problems either. I guess you need to talk it out with them and tell them that you are doing all you can with your offer. Asking you for $6000 is just plain crazy.

I believe it maybe another one of those "regional" things. Where I am from the grooms parents pay for the Honeymoon, rehearsal dinner and transportation ie: limos and such. As far as gifts go there are no gifts expected from either the brides or the grooms parents as they paid for the other items.

Now for what I believe should happen, Now a days it is much different as most couples these days are already working and have established themselves. I think if they are old enough to decide to get married they should foot the bill and the parents can help out if needed. The old ways were set up because the kids were usually just starting out and were not establised yet, therefore the parents were expected to foot the bill.

My in laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and paid for our honeymoon. At least around here that was normal 14 years ago. My in laws handled it all and never had to give my parents check. It was a great help. Our honeymoon did not cost $6000 though. I think that is extreme.

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When we got married, my parents paid for the wedding. DHs parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and the reception. We paid for our own honeymoon.

Lisa

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ohhgodd, the offer you and your DH made is perfectly fine. The fact that the kids didn't even say thank you or seem appreciative would have really bothered me. I am from the Midwest and I have never heard of the groom's family paying for the honeymoon.

It is normal for the groom parents to pay for the honeymoon, but it is not normal for the attitude you got!

My inlaws paid for next to nothing, not that they could afford much because they took out a home equity loan for my SIL to get married 2 years before, so we got zip. My children will get equal, that is only fair.

I do think the wedding is very reasonable, no frills there and the honeymoon could be done cheaper. Maybe you can sit them down and say that all you can afford right now is $xxxx and you would be happy to pay for that much of a honeymoon, but you just can't afford and more than that right now. Giving at attitude back isn't going to help anyone.

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Why dont you tell them you will pay for the cruise only, they are responsible for the plane costs,
you can get a deal on a cruise if you book early, they dont have to know what you spent for the honeymoon and it will be 1/2 of what she wants you to spend.

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Traditional Breakdown of Expenses



Wedding Gown, Headpiece & Accessories
The Bride's Family




Wedding Ring for Bride
The Groom

Wedding Ring for Groom
The Bride




Wedding Gift for Groom
The Bride

Wedding Gift for Bride
The Groom

Bridesmaid Gifts
The Bride

Groomsmen/Usher Gifts
The Groom




Bride's Bouquet
The Groom

Bridesmaid Bouquets
The Bride's Family

Mother's Corsages
The Groom

Grandmother Corsages
The Bride's Family

Groom's Boutonniere
The Groom

Groomsmen Boutonnieres
The Groom

Usher's Boutonnieres
The Groom

Ceremony/Reception Flowers
The Bride's Family




Altar Baskets/Arches
The Bride's Family

Canopy/Carpet
The Bride's Family

Kneeling Bench/Candleabrahs
The Bride's Family

Rented Items for Wedding
The Bride's Family

Rented Items for Reception
The Bride's Family




Invitations/Announcements
The Bride's Family

Wedding Programs
The Bride's Family

Napkins/Matches/Printed Items
The Bride's Family




Marriage License
The Groom

Medical Visit for Bride
The Bride

Medical Visit for Groom
The Groom




Church Fee
The Bride's Family

Clergyman/Officiant Fee
The Groom

Musician/Soloist
The Bride's Family

Church Janitor
The Bride's Family

Reception Hall Fee
The Bride's Family

Catered Reception/Professional Services
The Bride's Family




Wedding Photography
The Bride's Family

Video Photography
The Bride's Family

Orchestra/Band/DJ
The Bride's Family




Wedding Cake
The Bride's Family

Wedding Favors
The Bride's Family

Groom's Cake
The Groom's Family

Rice Bags
The Bride's Family




Rehearsal Dinner
The Grooms Family

Bridesmaid Luncheon
The Bride

Bachelor Party
Best Man/Groom's Attendants

Wedding Breakfast
The Bride's Family

Bridal Brunch
The Bride's Family




Bridesmaid's Gowns
Bridesmaid's

Maid of Honor Gown
Maid of Honor

Matron of Honor Gown
Matron of Honor

Best Man Formal Wear
Best Man

Usher's Formal Wear
Ushers

Groomsmen's Formal Wear
Groomsmen

Gloves/Ties/Ascots for Attendants
The Groom




Father of Bride Formal Wear
Bride's Family

Father of Groom Formal Wear
Groom's Family

Children's Formal Wear
The Children's Parents




Limousine Service
The Groom

Honeymoon Arrangements
The Groom

Travel Expenses to the Wedding
The Out-of-town Attendant or Family Member

Accommodations for out-of town Guests
The Bride

Gifts for the Couple
Guest, Attendants and Family





I wore a simple dress, dh wore his work suit and we got married in my grandparents living room I think my mom nd grandparents paid for everything not sure, Mom and Grandma was so excited about a wedding and me marrying a guy they approved of lol

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Am I the only one who really believes that the "traditional" costs to each family are somewhat obsolete?

Don't all of these financial expectations go back to the times when families were "marrying off" their daughter?

I don't say any of this to balk at tradition - I think tradition is wonderful. But it should NOT be the expectation.

OG, you were really being kind-hearted by putting such a large amount of money out in contribution for this wedding. Since the wedding itself sounds relatively modest in $$, that money gift would go a long way, if they let it.

But unlike you, I consider the entire $2000 a gift! Nothing should have been expected, and you were being sincerely generous.

I would probably feel the need to call and speak directly, or leave a message on my DS's phone machine (whatever you find most comfortable), and express your disappointment with the response they gave you when you made your kind offer. My gift would also probably be rescinded, and I WOULD tell them, so that they could either make ammends with you (which I think they need to), or make other plans.

Tradition or no tradition - they have shown themselves to be truly ungrateful here. I wouldn't be able to be so generous with my $$ to people who act as if they are 'entitled' this money.

BTW, DH and I did accept some financial help from both sides of our family, and we were truly grateful to them. But we also did things as inexpensively as we could - made our own cake, centerpieces, favors, my sisters did our bouquets, etc., saved up for our own modest honeymoon. We made the most of what we had, and were grateful that both families were willing and able to contribute at all. JMHO, of course...

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Man I wish y'all had been our parents when my ex and I got married. My dad supplied the liquor, my mom paid for the photgrapher, my FIL/SM paid for the rehersal dinner, his mom paid for nothing and we covered everything else. I think the offer that was made was very generous and the kids are being brats for not being appreciative.

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I would rescind the offer since they don't have the manners to say thank you. I wouldn't be "kind of hurt', I'd be 'kind of mad' and would immediately give my son a '$2000 crash course' in the manners he obviously hasn't learned.

It seems like if you're close enough to give a $2000 gift to the couple, you should be close enough to tell your son that his behavior isn't acceptable. ???

OP, I wanted to add my response to your actual question about wedding etiquette.

I think you were asking about what *YOUR* responsibility is to this couple, insofar as traditional etiquette. However, etiquette refers to the expectation of social graces. You showed MORE than enough, so you shouldn't question yours.

The etiquette is lacking on the part of your son and his bride-to-be.

Hugs.

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imo those 'wedding rules' are kind of outdated. it seems that a lot of my friends weddings were split like this - the brides fam pays for their invitees and the grooms fam pays for theirs. seems fair doesn't it?

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I have a friend that just had her son and future dil come and tell them that they along with his father each HAD to give them $2,800 for their cruise for their honeymoon that they already booked. Is this something new? Here the couple getting married is suppose to pay for their own honeymoon. The grooms parents are only responsible for the rehearsal dinner.

With that being said I think that the brides family paying for everything is terrible. I think it should be split between the brides parents, the grooms parents, and the couple themselves. And if the couple is older they should pay for most of it themselves. I'm not talking about the honeymoon at all. That should all be paid for by the wedding couple. So by my way of thinking you are paying more then your share.

I have never heard that the grooms parents pay for the honeymoon. I always thought it was the grooms responsibility. My dd got married a couple of years ago. We paid for the entire wedding and reception and the grooms family paid for the rehearsal dinner. That was the same way it was when i married, 26 years ago. I cannot imagine having my in-laws pay for my honeymoon.

When my brother got married my parents paid for all of the groom's stuff and then paid for half of the reception because it was half of there friends there also. but when I got married my DH's parents pointed everything out to my parents they would pay for (only traditional) and that was it.

OP, I think your offer was more than generous and your son and his future bride should be ashamed of themselves.

When my son got married, the bride's parents paid for the wedding, her gown, flowers, reception. This was something they wanted to pay for. We paid for the rehersal dinner (which was about $1,500). We offered to pay for the photographer but the bride's parents insisted on paying for it.

However, the bride's parents did absolutely nothing to help in preparation for the wedding. I was basically the bride's mom and the groom's mom. I did everything the bride's mom was supposed to do. The bride's parents showed up for the rehersal and wedding and knew nothing of what was going on.

I've never heard of the groom's parents paying for the honeymoon. I think once the bride and groom are married, that's their responsibility.

Good luck, OP, because I think you're going to need it if this is the way your son and future wife are acting now.

This list is just the reason WHY I don't buy into the whole her parents/ his parents pay for . Sorry in this day and time when "most' adults that are of age to marry already have jobs . I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to start off a marriage in debt ?? Whether it be the couple or their parents.No one is entitle to a 10,000, 15,000 thousand dollar or MORE wedding all because they are born.
( Please, don't care who's "special day it's suppose to be "). I have both boy's and girls and I can tell you, when the time comes for them to marry, I will NOT foot the wedding bill, Now I will help, but not totally pay forget that !!, After paying for a home for 20+ years I have NO plans to re mortgage it for the sake of a wedding. A wedding can be just as nice given on a small budget as a large one that requires a 2nd mortage.

11 yrs ago my Mom and dad (they were divorced) spilt the cost of the wedding. I did things as frugally as I could and paid for some myself but not a lot as I was in college and not making much money. My dh paid for the reception (his family did not help) and the 2 of us paid for the honeymoon (we also used money we received as gifts toward the honeymoon).
My stepsister got married a few years later, she opted to elope and they gave her the same amount they had spent on my wedding in cash. (looking back, wish I had eloped to and used that money to start out on a house)
I would never expect my family to pay for my honeymoon.

I think your being more than generous as the grooms parents!

Sounds like things have changed a bit since we were married 18 years ago! My parents paid for the reception (250) people and the limo, Dh parents paid for half of the rehearsal dinner, while my DH and I paid the other half of the rehearsal, the photographer and videographer, the flowers, my gown, all the alcohol (choice of bringing it in or using their liquor) and cake for the reception, the bridesmaids/groomsmens gifts and our honeymoon.

I thought both of our parents were being way generous, as it wasn't their responsiblity to throw the wedding!

OMG!!! That is sooo funny!!!


My DH said that we could probably get a discount for a combined upper and lower WI Dells Boat tour (if we are lucky) LOL

We might even throw in the dinner cruise.. ROFL!

Thanks for the laugh!!

I agree with every word!

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Thanks everyone for all of your responses.

They both live together and have full time jobs. She drives a brand new car, etc.

Her parents are divorced and not at all "wealthy", but I am sure are doing okay financially. It isn't like she was raised with a silver spoon in her mouth (I should say I am not sure if she was or wasn't).

We are going to be inviting her parents out for dinner to discuss a few things. I have only met her mom once, and it wasn't the nicest experience, so I am hoping that this time will be much better. But, I can see where she has her entitled attitude just based on the experience I had with her mom the first time.

During our meeting on Sunday, she said that her budget originally was $2500, but now it has gone to $5000. She said, though, that she didn't add in the $1000 for the videographer and $1000 for the photographer. She also wants a chapel that costs $770 (I have no clue if that is good or not, I mean I got married in our church, costs were nothing!). We had originally planned on saying that we would pay for a third of the wedfding costs, but when she started adding in more and more.. we knew that we could not do the 1/3 that we were thinking, if the amount also included the Honeymoon costs.
Thus, we said, here it is.. do with as you want to do it.

She also laid down ground rules.
1. No children at the wedding (under age of 5). I explained to her that most of our family has small children and they will be coming from out of state, and I thought it was rude to tell them they could not bring their children to the wedding. I told her that where would they leave them? They don't have established sitters here in our town. I told her this would cut out a lot of our family from wanting to be there, that would want to be there. I told her a good idea then, might be to set up a daycare center or a licensed sitter for her wedding and let the guests know that this has been set up for their children. She was not open to that, and just said that it will be hard to do that, that she just doesn't want kids to be there for the hour ceremony and doesn't want children crying, or talking out loud during her wedding. I said "AN HOUR???? That is a long wedding for anyone!" wow! lol

2.Bachelor party must be a week ahead of time because she doesn't want anyone ruining her wedding if they get drunk. I had to point out to her that a lot of our family is coming in from out of state (including his best man) and that this would be very hard for them to do a bachelor party the week prior. I then asked my son what he wanted and he did the typical shrug "I don't care!" LOL!!! I had to laugh. He is learning already.. haha

I asked my ds if he had plans to invite his mother and her side of the family. He looked at me and said he wasn't sure (there is some bad blood between him and his mother). But he seemed to be considering it. I explained to him that regardless, that is his mother and while everyone will respect any decision he makes, he needs to really consider this. I also told him that her family (his Uncles, Aunts, etc) have also been a part of his life since he was born, and he needs to consider them as well. They were always there to help those boys up until we got custody.

She then looked at him and said "I thought we discussed this and you would NOT be inviting your mother".
He said he wasn't sure, he would have to think about it.
She has never met my ds's mother.

Anyway, not my choice, but I don't want him to do anything he might regret. Whether inviting her and her side of the family or not. They also said they wanted me to light the Unity candle with her mother. I told her while I would feel thrilled about doing that, if his mother is there, I would feel uncomfortable (even if his mom was a deadbeat, no good mother, she still is his mother). So we decided dh and her mother would light the candle I was good with that. I told them any other way I can be a part would mean a lot to me.

We discussed the rehearsal dinner and she said her Grandmother would be coming to the dinner. That is great! Then we discussed (while counting heads) that our Parents would be there as well. She said, Well my Grandmother is coming just because she has been involved since day 1. We said, well, we are paying for it, and our parents are coming because they will be coming from out of state to your wedding and we don't want them to be left alone while they are here.

Ugh.. I told dh.. just give them the money, and let's sit back and just enjoy. Our ds is going to have to live with her, we are not! LOL!!


I do adore her though and am happy for my son. I just think she is getting too consumed in wanting a bigger wedding than all parties can afford. Simple things I asked like "are you getting your wedding cake at Wal Mart?" were met with "no, I found a wonderful cake decorator at the bridal show that has the best cake I have ever tasted.-(which equates to more $$). But, like I said, her dad has said he wants to do it all... so that is none of my business. She is a very lucky girl to have such a wonderful father.


You all know I will eventually become the evil mother in law..LOL

I am sure I will be back with updates on this issue as the time draws near. Thanks to all of you for your advice and support. You are all so awesome!!!!!

I think it's easy to spend someone else's money, particularly if there is no budget.

$2000 wedding gift, IMO, is reasonable. If they want that cruise, they can either scale it down or pitch in the remaining balance themselves. The scoffing at your offer baffles me. I'm certain you and your husband can put that money to use in your own household.

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I guess it's either something very new or it's a regional thing because I've never heard of anyone other than the bride and groom paying for their own honeymoon. Our oldest DD just got married this past July. Thank goodness she and her husband are frugal people since neither they nor DH and I had the $ to do a small, let alone a big, fancy wedding :-) My parents paid for their marriage license, I performed the ceremony in our backyard and then we had a dish-to-pass dinner afterwards. DS took pictures with my digital camera (I had a photbook made at shutterfly.com) and we had the cake made at Wegmans (grocery store) for about $40. They didn't take a honeymoon. My son-in-law has no contact with his family so the whole thing was up to us. DD #2 will be married in October 2009 and is planning something *slightly* more costly - they want to be married in a park (I'll perform the ceremony) and may have the reception afterward at Farm Sanctuary (they rescue animals from factory farms - there is a bed & breakfast there that serves vegan meals) but they plan to pay for that stuff themselves. I don't know that they plan to take a honeymoon (other than maybe staying at the B&B for a night or two) since they are hoping they will have a baby (or at least one on the way) by then. Thank goodness all of my kids are frugal and realistic so far :-)

They both sound very demanding. But as for the children not being at the wedding, I do agree with them. We didn't have children (except for flower girl) at my son's wedding. My DIL and son didn't want to have crying babies and toddlers at their wedding (and I can't blame them due to all the costs involved and so much planning involved and then have it ruined because a child disrupts the service).

As for the rehearsal dinner, better find a place now because they fill up quickly. If you're paying for it, you can invite whoever you want.

Also the price for the church is about right. If you don't attend the church, there's a fee and I guess it depends on the location. Ours was $500.

If you have more questions, I'm sure there's plenty of us on here who have gone thru this.

I just hope you're not dealing with a Bridezilla!! Thank goodness, my sweet DIL never was one.

Ohhgodd,

I would just stay out of the details of who they invite or don't invite. If they want you to light the candle, light the candle. If your son regrets it, he will learn to stick up for himself in the future. It is only one day, why not just let them do it their way?

Rebecca

p.s. Who gets their Wedding cake at Wal-Mart? LOL

There are no children invited to weddings or receptions here because it is cost prohibited. I would set up babysitting services at my expense for all the childern from out of town on my side of the family. And I would include that on a special card in the invitations to my side of the family. Have they given you a total number of people that can be invited from your side of the family? Get yourself a notebook and write down all wedding info and have her and him sign it. You may be thinking 50 people and they may be thinking 5. She is having a really cheap wedding and you better get that straight now.
Married people pay their own bills and they will be married when they take one therefore it is their bill. I hope she has already gotten prices for the wedding and all it entails or I see big issues in the future, that is why I suggested a notebook. Anyone on your side of the family that you can not invite just explain that her family insists on paying and the "rules".
You may also have the expense of giving a shower for your side of the family and that can run a few hundred dollars also.
You have been most generous with your offer don't take on any more responsibilities than you need to as clearly it's their wedding and they want to "run the show".

Sounds like the plans and costs aren't nailed down yet, so setting a fixed contribution is really a good strategy. If it were me as the parents, I'd like to see the money go to specific things, but that would probably be a little control freaky, wouldn't it?

As for her rules with the no children and no bachelor party the night before....well, I personally think those aren't too bad...some people just don't like children at their weddings....and if they want to have an all-out-wild bachelor party, it really should be a week or more in advance.

cj/

PS - I would also not get a wedding cake at Wal-mart. There's not much I'd get at Wal-mart.

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I completely sympathize with her choice not to have children at the wedding or reception, but I think her quashing the idea of a babysitter or day care is just being rather bratty herself.

I don't know what the college situation was like, but we got married at the chapel at my grad school and had the reception in a hall there. I think we paid $200.00 for both. If you have access to a college for a reception, they can be quite pretty and relatively inexpensive.

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Really? oh my..see I have a lot to learn!! I would get my wedding cake at Wally world! lol they are cheap and seem to have nice cakes! But that's the cheap person I am..LOL

mom2twins2-so it is not rude at all, then, to not allow children to the wedding? Okay, then I was in the wrong.
Icansavedaily- That is a good idea. That is something I should have done was offer to set up the sitter, not tell her that she should do it. All of our guests are coming from out of town..sot hat makes sense. Thanks.

We had asked them for a number of people we could invite, and she told us just to write down everyone we wanted to invite and put down if they were family or friends and it could be added or taken away from at a later time. We did tell her that we probably will not have that many there since most of our family is out of state. His mother's side of the family is huge. So that would be the only thing that would make his list big.

CJ-The problem that I pointed out to her is that most of his brothers work weekends or are in college out of State (his best man) and they will already have the night off on Friday for the rehearsal dinner and of course the wedding the next day.
But, not my choice!
Stay out of it, stay out of it, stay out of it! LOL!!!! CJ.. I agree with the control freaky thing. I thought it would be easy to hand over my boys to their respective girlfriends/fiancees ..but I still find myself being.. controlling sometimes and wanting things done a certain way. This is all a learning experience and thank GOODNESS I am more laid back now than I ever was in my life.

Good ideas though.. thanks for helping me to work through this on what I felt might have been inappropriate is not really inappropriate or rude at all.

ETA: I had emailed her last week and asked her if she had her reception hall yet, so we could get an idea of how many people she was thinking of having and that was when she said she didn't have a reception hall yet. I told her that if I was her, I would jump on that ASAP (I Told them to do that right away when they had announced their engagement in Feb). She then went on Saturday and got the Community Center here in town for $200. It's a great little place and has a working day care right below it!!

I didnt want kids at mine either, but my now ex-aunt brought my cousins anyway <married in grandparents living room so small area> where they both cried the whole time from start to finish while she just sat there. I wasnt happy and didnt want a scene but you can tell in my pictures I was not happy.

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Good luck! FWIW ~ I think you are being very gracious and I doubt I would be nearly as kind as it appears you have been to this point.

Just my 2 cents here, but when my kids were under 5, I would not have attended a wedding where I couldn't take them...especially out of state where I didn't know anyone that would have been watching them. This has been brought up before and while some people may agree with it - a lot are offended by it. Again, JMO...

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

I only got 1/20th through the thread because it was so long!
I had a bad experience with my in-laws. My husband asked his father if he would like to help out with the wedding expenses and his father took a lot of offense to it and has not spoken to us since. Apparently he thought it was completely rude and will not accept our calls, e-mails, etc. Boy that was really hard for my hubby. his father and Step-mother never came to the wedding, never called, NOTHING. It has been about 7 months since he has talked to his dad and is so heart broken.

we did not have a rehearsal dinner and the wedding was small-medium. 116 people.
my mom helped pay for it quite a bit. it was fun and the pictures were nice!

www. kristijustin dotcom

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-Kristi

Your gown was gorgeous!!! You can put your direct link in your post, it won't get deleted. I think you left out a hyphen in the above link.

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*******If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
But if life gives you limes....make margaritas!!!*******

I think your offer was generous and to the point.

What I have seen with some couples is, especially is they have been living together for a while (or long time) and have already established their "household", these couples will register with a Travel Agency. That way, instead of directing people who ask "where are you registered" to places like Macy's, Dillards, LNT or BBB, just direct them to the Travel Agency and they can "buy" their wedding gift there (paying whatever they would normally spend on a "normal" wedding gift towards the honeymoon that is registered.) They can also still register at one of the "regular" registries for those who can't quite see going the Travel Agency route.

But in any case, You are being quite generous. I do see a "Bridezilla" show in the making here though.....buck up and prepare for a bumpy ride.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

I know someone who registered with an on-line registry to help fund the honeymoon. I was shocked at what (and how much) they were asking for. When you added everything up, it came to over $11,000. Nosey me kept an eye on it, and very few people "purchased" anything there. It turned out that they cancelled the big extravegant honeymoon.

Ohhgodd, maybe this would be a good lesson for them!

__________________
"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.