My 3rd grader is on the fence with regard to Santa. She said her friends say that the parents are Santa. I don't know what to tell her and I don't remember how old my older kids (high school age now) were when they no longer believed. Should I tell her that Mom and Dad are Santa or tell her not to believe her friends who are telling her there is no Santa?

My youngest is in 6th grade and we still haven't had the talk with her yet. Oldest was 5th grade, I believe. We were/are both totally willing to tell them the truth when they are/were ready, but want to be sure they want to know. Every time youngest brings it up (we've been ready to tell her for a couple years) she'll say something like that. "So-and-so says Santa is your parents". I will say, "would you want to know if it was?" Each time, I'm ready to spill but then she will say "no" and then change the subject. I think she does know, but doesn't want us to confirm it. I mean, she's in 6th grade how could she not know? I think she just isn't ready for it to be definate yet.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

My oldest is in 4th grade age 9 and she still believes. She has asked me about it once and i tell them you have to believe what you want. I told her the ones that don't believe don't feel the magic as the ones that do. She is very gullible and still believes. I think this will be the last year for her, but i still have 3 to play santa with.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

What do you mean? I am confused. I am 3 and a half years shy of 50 Santa comes to my house every year what are you people talking about? I don't get it!!!

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Santa is fun but some kids will play you for long as your willing! My son has friends in 8th grade and above whose parents think they still believe in Santa. Aren't the kids basically playing it up so that they can get more gifts?

I think age 10 or 11 is the age to dispell the myth. I'm all for being honest with my kids about it because I don't want for them to think that it is okay to lie.

Our 4th grader said last week that she *knows* that Santa is her parents! I said, "Wow! Well, if you don't believe in Santa, he won't come."

She then said "Yes, I do believe..." (which I interpret simply as 'I still want to play...") I think she's come to that point where she wants to believe, but she rationally knows that he's not who she thought he was. However, she's my oldest. I hope she'll play along for one more year (at least), even if she is onto the scene. Everyone grows up too fast.

I stand by the response that "If you don't believe, then he won't come." That covers all the bases. If your kid wants to give up, then the jig is up. If they want to continue on, then believing is a choice. In this way, I even believe, myself!

I remember finding out when I was in 5th grade. In that day and age, I was one of the last to find out who Santa was.

Cuthie, you've got a point there, too. It took me a long time to get over the fact that Santa wasn't who I thought way back during 5th grade. And then I had to question everything, which created a lot of suspicion for a long while...

So I'm torn. I love the magic of Santa for my kids, but I'm not ready for my 9 year old to fully unsubscribe to the "enchantment" of Santa yet. One more year????

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

My son started questioning it at age 10 but I never confirmed it to him until last Easter. He was 11 and I asked him to help me with clues for Easter Egg treasure hunt. I told him there was no such thing as an Easter Bunny and he looked at me funny and said " I just have one question, Is Santa real". I think he still wanted to believe. We never volunteered the info to him because he is the oldest and kind of a stinker. I could just see him telling his sister what he found out. Since I let him help he was ok with knowing. This will be our 1st Christmas since he found out so lets hope he plays along.

I am so tired of "being" Santa. I just want to be Scrooge and tell the 7yr. old that there is no Santa. I have been doin' his gig for 18years, but the old, fat guy still gets all the credit. Of course, my 18 and 15 DS's know. The nine year old goes back and forth. And the 7yr. old rates him right under G*d. Bah humbug on me, I know, I just don't enjoy the pressure anymore. Well, until I see their faces on Christmas morning.....

WHAT?!?!?! You mean there is no santa? I know he is real I saw him kissing my mom under the missletoe once I swear I did. I better get my wish list in soon I have been a real good boy this year I should be on the nice list this year last year I did not make that list.

My oldest daughter came home several years ago when she was 7 telling me that a friend of hers at school claimed there was no Santa Claus. She said that her friend told her she gets all her gifts from her parents. I just told her that some kids choose not to believe in Santa or their parents won't let them, so he lets their parents buy all their gifts for them. I explained that if they don't believe in Santa, and somehow they hear him putting presents under the tree, maybe they will call the police or try to hurt him thinking he is an intruder in their house. Santa doesn't have time for hassles like that, so he just sends their parents a letter once they stop believing to inform them that he will no longer be visiting their house. That explanation worked wonders, and now I don't have to worry about other kids "spoiling" Christmas for my kids. When they are ready for us to buy all of their gifts for them, I am sure Santa will send us the letter so we will know to start buying all their presents.

For the record, this explanation also works for the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. In fact, it works so well that it almost backfired on me last year. My youngest daughter became afraid of the Easter Bunny after watching the movie Harvey with me (about a giant imaginary rabbit). She couldn't get the thought of Harvey out of her head, then she became afraid of the Easter Bunny. To help her feel better, I told her that he wasn't real. She went along with it for a few days, then she said that she didn't believe me, and she didn't want the Easter Bunny to stop coming. She asked me to call him and tell him she wasn't scared anymore so he would remember to hop by our house on Easter morning. She also made me reassure her that the Easter Bunny wasn't 8 feet tall.

I'll probably be the only mom on the block with adult children who still believe in the magic of childhood. I wouldn't have it any other way.

MY ds always knew there was no santa ,he grew up without an santa clauas he knew it was just a story.the same thing with the easter bunny he never had an easter basket,or went trick or treat .

I'm 34. I still believe in Santa. I'm a bit mystified why he insists on taking my stocking to my parent's house even though I've been married and living elsewhere for 13 years this Christmas but hey, whatever - my stocking is full so why complain about the details.

Now I realize that the dear old man needs some help, so I usually buy a few gifts for him and put his name on the From line, if only because it ups my spot on the nice kids list.

Who says you have to stop believing - after all, I dare anybody to prove to me without a doubt that he does not exist at all. And if the rest of you doubters need proof - I produce this link courtesy of the US government.

North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD)
Norad Tracks Santa

And if thats not good enough - Wiki
NORAD Tracks Santa - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In short, you're never too old to believe in Santa, you just at some point have to become him as well.

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Meddle ye not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crispy, and taste good with Ketchup!

I agree!

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I remember how mean kids were to the kids who still believed in Santa when I was a kid, so I never wanted that to happen to my kids. Once they started questioning, I fessed up. I would say around the age of 8 for all of them.

I hear you about being tired of the Santa gig. I was so glad when DD stopped believing and I could just wrap it all and put it under the tree. We live in a small house with no stroage so hiding was always stressful.

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MyCoupons is #1 for holiday shopping!

We will still do Santa even when both of mine know the positive truth.

Santa came to my parents house even after I was married until we had our own kids and DHs parents still did Santa while he was in college.

So, confirming the truth will not change the number of presents. It will just confirm who actually put it there. It will still be from Santa. So she's not "playing anything up". Like I said, nothing will change other than the knowledge of who actually put it there.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

We still sign packages From Santa, Rudolph, and/or Santa's Elves, etc.... They just know the truth, that *we* are Santa. It has made them want to be Santa too! I'm getting a lot of, "What do you want for Christmas" from our youngest (that we most recently divulged the truth to). It's not that we expect or want anything but we've always told the boys that Christmas is about giving and so it does my heart good to know that he's actually internalizing and understanding this aspect of Christmas.

I just don't get how it is better to tell your kids before they are really ready to know santa isn't real. When my parents told me when i was 10 i was soo dissapointed the magic was all gone for me. I really enjoy playing that the elves are in the walls and knocking on the walls and the kids always knock back to them. The look i see in my kids eyes while they believe is just very magical and i wouldn't have it any other way. When its time to tell them i will, but i think i will least get this year for my 9 yr old.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

That's sad.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

For my older children I think they were around 10 when they stopped beleiving I was crushed, so sad I would go as far as only having certain paper that santa only wrapped the gifts in and different paper from us.. Now I have 2 younger children and cant wait to do it all over for them.

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Proud mom to 4 great boys Anthony20,Nicholas16,Michael4,Sean2

my kids believed til they were around 10. We still pretend... just jokingly of course, but its still fun. I always give my kids a easter basket also. They never were all over the easter bunny like they was santa. I figure whats the harm in giving a easter basket weather they believe in the easter bunny or not.

lovelace2... I was wondering how come your son never went trick or treating, b/c to that you dont have to believe in antyhing just dress up and have fun.

steph

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I don't remember my parents ever telling me santa wasn't real. If memory serves I just started putting the pieces together and realized that the whole story just really didn't add up. I think I was about 8 or so.

If you have older kids who don't believe in santa and younger ones that do, do like my mom did. She told me that if I breathed one word to my sister, who is 5 years younger than me, that santa wasn't real that she would take my fun gifts back and all I'd get was socks and underwear for Christmas. It worked, I never told my sister that santa wasn't real but she did figure it out on her own too.

I think if you child is getting teased a lot bacause of santa belief then it's time to have a little chat with them but I think most kids figure it out and are ready to accept the facts by age 10 or so.

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Jesus SAVES by shopping smartly and using double coupons!

I don't like to lie to my kids about Santa either so when asked I just tell them he is the spirit of Christmas and part of the magic is to believe. I tell her its her choice to believe or not but that its much more fun to believe.

This is sort of how we do it. We won't lie to our kids and say Santa is real (or the easter bunny or tooth fairy....). We say we are participating in the "magic" of Santa. We all play a role in gift giving and sign our gifts Santa Mommy or Santa Zach or whatever. *Santa* is a feeling and a magical experience. They know he's not a real guy. We never told them he was a real guy. My kids are 7 & 9.

We did this because I remember feeling so lied to when I found out Santa wasn't real. My mom was a stickler for no lie telling and yet, she lied to me for 8 years. It really made me wonder what else she had lied to me about. Please, don't get all defensive and say how it's not lying and it's all fun. I understand that is how most people feel. Personally, I just don't see how I could tell my kids there is a Santa but expect them not to lie. I also don't want them feeling like I did as a child. Then I had to keep on living the lie because my brother was 3 years younger and I was told I had to lie about Santa or no more gifts for me. That's just horrible...but again, my opinion

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

my ds is almost 10 yrs old and still believes. He tells me from time to time that his friends do not and say that their parents leave them toys,etc but he says he believes because he saw Santa's phone number in my cell phone. A couple of years ago there was someplace you could call and get a recorded message from "santa" and he loved it. I just never deleted the number from my cell phone list and apparently he saw it. And I KNOW he is not just playing me because I actually overheard him talking to his "girlfriend" on the phone about Santa a couple of days ago! I wish I could keep him believing forever!

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Mom to 3 - one with 2 legs and 2with 4!

I find the feeling "lied to" thing interesting. I never felt "lied to" when I was a kid. I thought it was just my parents playing along with a fun childhood theme. It never bothered me to know they told me Santa was real...or when he wasn't. I loved it and then outgrew it and just felt it was a part of life and growing up.

I asked my oldest dd about it and she just got a strange look on her face and said basically the same thing. She thought it was fun and didn't understand why anyone would feel lied to. She also thought those kids would miss out on a fun part of childhood if they hadn't gotten to participate in Santa.

I teach my kids not to lie, too, but feel this is something entirely different and doesn't even remotely fall into the same category.

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

I absolutely see how this could feel/look like a lie. As I mentioned, I was very suspicious of everything we were expected to "believe" after that. In fact, I honestly kept wondering if I was going to be told there was no God, next. At the same time, belief in Santa was one magical time, and I'm glad I ever held that belief. It is a great childhood memory (despite that tough ending!).

I hope I'm striking the balance between "lying" and "going along with the magical story"...who knows...

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

Thats not sad,he is a great kid, IT is against my religious beliefs ,and as a parent I have the right to teach him the truth.He never went without and he knows the truth .This is not a debate this is just the way We raise our dh.

My kids quit believing before they entered school. They just figured out it was impossible. My oldest asked me when he was 4 or 5 and I told him the truth but then we decided to just pretend anyway. And he was good at pretending when his younger brother was born too.

I work in a middle school, and if they still believe when they enter, they will definitely no longer believe the first holiday season they are in middle school. With that being known, it should be something you should decide whether you want to be the one to "explain" or have one of their classmates divulge.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

In this day and age, believing in Santa is just about the nicest thing I can think of.

So, I still believe!

I never felt lied to, of course my parents have never told me Santa doesn't exist (and yes, as mentioned above I'm 34). Probably the closest they got was the first year I helped them do a gift for some charity tree and they signed Santa on the box. I asked about that and they replied that there's so many people in the world so its nice if adults try to help out a little once in awhile by signing a few packages for him. Made perfect sense to me, still does.

If anything I think we've got far too little magic left in this world, and thats part of our problem.

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Meddle ye not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crispy, and taste good with Ketchup!

I think that the cut off age for Santa is 146!!

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John 14:1
GO GATORS!!
GO BEARS!!
Check out my pictures!! Just click below:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gotjenks/

Gosh, did you take away his birthday too?

I had a teacher who said "Believing in Santa Claus is just as dumb as believing in the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny." None of the kids in the class knew up until that time that there was not and she had a whole class of devestated children. Heck of a way to get that news.

yes,

Want did I take away from him?He has a lot of friends,he out going happy and he has parents that love him and told him the truth that no there is no santa claus and easter bunny but there is a god who loves him. OUR son has not deprived of nothing ,he was told the truth there is no santa claus and never will be.

I'm guessing you are Jehovah's witness? We had some as neighbor's once and they didn't celebrate anything... You can correct me if I'm wrong.
My son(7yo) just heard from a friend about Santa just last week, and so talked with our son, about the fun of it and how it's a fun surprise. It did make him sad that he's not real, but now that he knows, he gets to be in on the fun... Staying up late on Christmas Eve eating Santa's cookies... Stuff like that. He also knows not to tell his little sisters because it would ruin the fun surprise for them. My DH wanted to tell him as soon as he questioned it because he worried that if he thought Santa was real and then found out he wasn't, what would he think about our Savior... So when I talked with him about the Tooth Fairy, and then asked him about Jesus, he said, "Well Mom, I know He's real, that's why we go to Chruch and celebrate Christmas!" So all the worry was for nothing.

We've always approached it somewhat like smurf. He *isn't* real, and we didn't want to tell our kids he was. Plus, we were sending them out into a world where the truth was lurking around every corner waiting to break the hearts of kids who did believe. Unfortunately, despite my own hardline discussions with my kids about *not* sharing what they knew, my daugther let the cat out of the bag and ruined it for her cousin. They were discussing Christmas at church in their Bible class and DD was six. She said, "Santa doesn't REALLY bring me stuff, but we like to pretend that he does because it's a really fun story and I think he is neat." The cousin said, "Why do you have to pretend and why doesn't he bring you stuff? He brings ME stuff!" DD said, "Well no, your parents bring you stuff but they like to play a happy pretend game that he is real. Really, though, he is just like the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. They are all really fun pretend stories and it's okay if you want to play like they are real."

<clunk>

Their teacher found me after class, explained what happened, said he sobbed through the entire class, said a couple of other kids in class who knew the 'truth' verified what my DD had shared, several kids were unconsolable... and the cousin greeted my daughter at school the next day with the news that she was a big fat liar because he asked his parents and Santa was too real and they were mad at her for lying to him.

Not a good day around here. lol

We never told our kids that those figures were real or fake. We just never treated them *as* real in our home. They were like the Three Bears and Goldilocks... the Three Pigs... Little Red Riding Hood... except that their stories were related to holidays. We never told them any of those other characters were fake, either... but it never occurred to them that there was *really* a Little Red Riding Hood. They were just stories that they enjoyed.

I never believed myself as a kid, and my parents never told me one way or the other that they were real. It just wasn't logical to me, and I was a really logical kid. It made no sense that one guy could get all the way around the world at once. I have a vivid remember of being about four and asking my dad if he was real because I'd heard another child talking about him as though he was. Dad said, "I don't know. What do you think?" I said, "I don't think one guy could even get all over our TOWN to every single house at exactly midnight, and definitely not all over the WORLD at exactly midnight!" I remember Dad just saying, "Hmmmmm...." and shrugging, never confirming or denying it one way or the other. lol

I'm guessing you are Jehovah's witness? We had some as neighbor's once and they didn't celebrate anything... You can correct me if I'm wrong.


NO I am not a Jehovah witness,I am a born again Christian

I1m 58 and still have not been told there is no Santa.

My mom always said if you dont believe he will not come, and thats what I said to my kids.

My kids are in their late twenties and I still put from Santa on their gifts.

Now adays they need something nice to believe in.

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When you don`t know what to do-Walk fast and look worried.

I'm sorry, but I have not heard of any religion, other than Jehovah's Witness, who do not celebrate any birthdays. I know that some discourage or do not celebrate Halloween (although, All Hallow's Eve was a Christian holiday).

Have two children--one 10 who knows, and one 8 who does not. If asked directly, I will explain and discuss. But, I'm not going to just come out and say "Santa isn't real".

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I am also a born again Christian. My children are both born again christian both had their experiences at different times. However they were raised believing in Santa, trick or treating, and even celebrating bdays. When they found out that santa wasnt real just the spirit of christmas, neither one of them thought I had lied to them. I happen to be Baptist, which religion are you that you dont believe in celebrating birthdays? I have never heard of that before except for JW.

steph

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I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend, I have just never heard of any other religion that doesn't celebrate anything, even birthdays... You learn something new every day.

Never ever too old, always try to be young and believe in the magic.... Peace,,, Catherine

I still believe in santa! I think his Spirate lives in all of us! I tell my daughter that and I can still "feel" the magic he has... Everytime I see that sparkle in an childs eyes, and the smile on there faces. That is what I believe in. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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In this town, I think I miss sarcasme the most...