Ok I am 45 will be 46 on 4/20/09 now I know to some 46 might that be that old, but is it just me or does anyone else feel sometimes life is just flying by . When I was younger who thought of age, I know I did not. I clearly remember thinking when I was younger, that I will be 37 in the year 2000. Now omg 9 years have passed since then. Also another factor that bothers and worries me so is that both now my parents are sick. My mom is still battling on and off bladder cancer, she also is a severe diabetic and is always in so much pain. She cannot get around really at all. She has someone to clean the house, someone to help with her personal needs and I do the food shopping and all the cooking for them. They are 76 and 75 years old. Now things were not so bad until recently, my dad went to the doctor because he really has neglected his doctor visits because of taking my mom all her appointments. Well finally he was getting pains in his lower back and some chest pains. Well now 2 weeks later, he has all these problems, a hernia, a severe kidney infection, tumors on his prostate and the worse of it all, placqe sp... built up in his aortic valve.. So at this point the doctors are first addressing the heart. He has to go for a special stress test to determine the level of build up. Then he will need surgery to correct it. The doctors have told him to take it real easy. So of course this puts a strain on all the problems already. So back to my original statement. As a fact of life my parents are getting old and very sick and it makes me feel so old. Of course when I hit 40 I noticed alot of changes in my body. I had to wear glasses, my right big toe is going east I should say, wearing high heels, well lets just say my feet hurt..I also am starting the early stages of artiritis sp.. in my both of my thumbs.. I have been taken aleve and I run my hands under hot water and it feels good. Sometimes its just depressing I feel like my life is moving so fast. I know I am not alone, so if anyone can share their thoughts or views I would deeply appreciate any input to this old lady lol... Peace.. CAtherine

I think I have said this on here before but here it goes again. At one of my earlier class reunions (10 yr maybe?) I noticed all the deceased classmates in the Memorial section and since then anytime I think I'm getting old, etc... I just ask myself if I want to be in the front of the next reunion book or get old? I'll take getting old! It has really made me think a lot over the years about my fellow classmates and what they have missed out on, etc... and would they want to change places with me if they could-probably. So out of respect to them I try to celebrate birthdays! I loved my 50th birthday! Now I'm 52, the same age my dad was when he died suddenly while mowing our lawn (I was 15). I think that experience also makes me appreciate getting older. I'm not saying that I'm looking forward to all the health problems that can come with age but I will just try to take it one day at a time and try to concentrate on the good things. I think I actually felt older turning 30 than I did turning 50. For the most part age really is a state of mind. I'm just happy to be alive and having a good life and great sons! Hang in there Catherine.

I have these feelings from time to time. I think I posted that on here a couple months ago. I am the same age as you.. almost.. your about a month older I sure wish I knew the things I know now when I was in my 20's. I thought I knew alot then.. but I really knew nothing. I found most of what you know is not what someone teaches you it what you experience. I wish my body looked like it did when I was in my 20's, or even up to 35.
Yes.. I hate getting old but what is the alternative? When I look back I remember being 14 or 15 and thinking that when I seen somenoe that was in thier 30's they were sooooo old. LOL.. It is different looking back now.
I see my dd who is 20 and try to tell her things I want her to know so she doesn't make the same mistakes I did, but of course she is going to have to learn on her own so in 25 years she will be feeling this same as I do now.

I hate growing old. So I have decided I am not going to have any more birthdays..

Sometimes I feel it. In especially hormonal moments I cry for lost youth that will never be regained. I yearn for the 70s again. I wonder if I will be able to defend myself against the thugs in the world or will I have to be afraid.

But usually I just accept the stages of life and take really good care of myself so that I can be youthful and healthy as long as possible. I foresee myself living to at least 100 and enjoying every last minute of it.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Thanks to all whom have written a post here I sincerely appreciate your thoughts. I guess rigth now I am feeling older because of all the stress of having both my parents sick and seeing them old and so sick . I do not know if all of you remember I posted a coupple of weeks ago that I was not feeling well and went to the doctors, because I was getting shortness of breath. They did all the tests and blood work, went to the heart doctor. Basically the only 2 things they came back with besides saying its anixety and stress, all they found was that I am a border line diabetic which I kinda thought because of my mom and her family history of the disease, also they said I was very anemic which counts for always be so tired. So now I am taking a Iron supplement and have to have my sugar tested every 3 months. BUt other then that all my blood work was great. I eat so healthy take alot if vitamins, I do not drink nor smoke. Anyway I guess I look at my kids and I tell them always from the ages of 18-24 is the best time of your life. Literally I believe that, no stress, no worries, your working still living at home, doing some traveling.I totally have t believe its the hormones and stress doing this to me. On the other hand I have heard from alot of women turning 40 is great and 50 even better. So who knows thanks again... Peace.. CAtherine

I love getting it old...it beats the alternative...

__________________
Mary

Ditto

I tell my DH that all the time!

I don't mind the age thing....it's what is happening to my body that's getting to me.

The Lily Munster streaks that are growing out from my temples are so white and even the most powerful hair dye is no match for them.

My boobs, which used to sit somewhere up under my chin and filled out the finest that Victoria Secrets had to offer, are now starting to look more like something out of National Geographic and something that the Army Corp of Engn. should come and address.

And then there is this small crease in my forehead...that I refuse to botox out of principal....but, it taunts me none the less.

It's all just a sad state of affairs.

__________________
I'm the kind of woman when my feet hit the floor in each morning, the devil says "Oh crap, she's up."

Like, I've said before , getting older is a privelige to me. My Mom died when she was only 42, and I'm 41 now.

So every year that passes, I'm like "Oohh, I'm still here and healthy"! My body isn't anywhere near what it used to be ( a whole lot more of it), but I can still get my fair share of attention when I want to. I doubt I would ever resort to surgery for it, period.

On the other hand, working in the recovery room of a hospital, I see so many women come in as visitors that look absolutly ridiculous. Thngs that look good on women in their 20's look absurd on women in their 40-50's!! No way around it! You just can't make it work!! You can tell they are dying to have their youth back, but don't realize how good you CAN look at any age with just a little effort!

However, the sillier or trendier you dress, it actually works against you and ages you. Somebody pointed out a lady the other day, she said " Take a look at Coco Chanel". This lady had to be in her late 40's, early 50's. Granted, she had a great body. But she had on cutesy black flats, patterned black hose, and the shortest litlle black and white houndstooth mini that I have seen yet. When this woman leaned over the stretcher to kiss her mother, you could literally see where her panties should be. She topped it off with a tight little red sweater that showed off what she had up top. If you could quit staring at that, you would then see her face, pulled so tight you could bounce a quarter off of it. But there we had the bright lipliner, tons of black eyeliner, and tons of pearls. Now you know, this woman came from BIG money. The family is well known in this town, and there's no telling how much she paid for that ensemble. But that didn't change the fact that the outfit alone aged her so much.

Moral of the story, no matter how badly you want to look younger, carrying yourself well and with grace goes a lot further than raiding your daughters closet. It's amazing what a big smile can do for you to.

Just my two cents.

__________________
*** Find A Need , Fill A Need ***

I'm 45.Getting old only bothers me when I go to the department stores and see all these young,pretty girls with perfect skin and faces.What bothers me most is when I see people older than me that have more perfect skin and hair than I do.Then I get really bummed.

__________________

Speaking of boobs going south, would anyone here on the baords opt for any form of cosmetic surgery. Just a tought I would like to throw out there. For me while I would love to lose a few pounds in my belly. I would never ever. To me first off its major surgery and all the complications and asthesia and recovery to much for me.So I will just have to exercise a bit more and hey lets face it whom especially women and our age and having children does not a a bit of a belly. I was 92 lbs when I married my dh always was super thin all my life. However now I am 128lbs and I know its not a huge difference but to me its 30 lbs. But my dh luvs me the same. He once said Cat, I would love you no matter what you weighed. Of course he also was 150 when we got married and now is 192. Anyway I do dye my hair every 6 weeks otherwise I would be all grey.. So again would anyone consider surgery to make themselves look younger.Also I forgot I have not worn concealer or face makeup for over 24 years and that has made a huge difference on the other hand since gaining weight my boobs have gotten bigger lol.... I cannot believe I wrote that oh well... Peace CAtherine

I was 38 when my mom died at age 58 of a heart attack.
Enjoy whatever age you are because life can be short.



I agree that some should just grow old gracefully!!
A mini skirt and knee boots are ok at 20 but not 50 .

SHIRLEY

I don't have to be afraid of getting old because I am old. I agree with grannyshirl enjoy the time you have and don't worry about the body parts. I am also a Shirley and a grandmother.

Do you remember that I wrote to you about my daughter in law that had many problems having a child?
She did conceive and my granddaughter was born in June. My other son's wife is due to have her second son in Jan. So in one year, we will have 3 grandchildren after waiting 7 years.

I am 61. It seems that last month I was in my 40's and the month before I was a teen. I dye my hair. I have 1 daughter and three granddaughters and a great grandson and another greatgrandchild on the way.
Generally my health and strength are great except for my lungs and I have copd and should be on my oxygen 24/7.
We are all getting older every day it's not a journey that you take by yourself. Enjoy your age and just do what makes you happy.
The greatest thing I have learned about aging is that wrinkles do not HURT and they are not taxable.lol Lord help us if they were.
Catherine you have a womans body now enjoy it.

Actually there are things that in my 40's I have figured out. I don't want to get old but I am happy to be alive. I have spent a lot of time in Childrens Hospital and see very young kids including my niece die at a very young tender age so My view is Thank God I am still here.

I think I lood good for my age and try to eat right and take care of myself. The rest is up to God. I used to have anxiety attacks over dying but no more because it takes away from living.

I do miss being able to get away with some crazy clothes etc but I still dress nice and I miss no varicose vein legs prior to my kids. I miss wearing my little bikinis.

Enjpy each day and your family and be grateful for every safe and healthy day on earth.

Whenever I get a little whistle I think to myself when will that end and how will I feel. Then I think of those dying in hospital beds at our age.

Having a sick child also sheds new light and really lets me appreciate the small things in life. I know it sounds corny but it is truly how I feel.

Take time to smell the roses really..........Enjoy life!

__________________

Without Health you have no Wealth!

Trust me I do cherish every day I am living and so thankful for that. I have been married to the most wonderful dh in the world, we have been blessed with 3 beautiful children, sadly however my ds Thomas was born with serious heart defect , he already 2 operations and is still living with aortic stenois. He also has many stomach issues.. However I know life is so precious and I know that for a sad fact the lost of my brother Sonny at the age of 36 from aids.. Life does have many wonderful things to enjoy so many more things to do... I do have my health and have a wonderful loving family so for that I am truly blessed thanks for all the kind words peace... CAtherine

I, like many, am not afraid of getting old but I am afraid of being sick and a burden to my family. Like you I am watching my parents declining and its hard. They were the ones that took care of me and now they need help. I don't want that to happen to me. I do think life is getting better the older I get (mid 40's)and I don't mind looking old. I really do enjoy life more now. I just don't want the long slow painful spiral down.

"Life begins at 40"
Don't laugh, for me that was very true.
I loved the entire decade of my 40's!!!!!!!

I'm not enjoying my 60's though.
I'm 61 ½
Can't shake the feeling that I'm "on hold".

Like I said I feel I am "on hold". (NOT old actually, just useless and on hold)

Like many on here, it is not the getting old that bothers me, but, the decline in health. I am very healthy and eat well and exercise, so hopefully I won't have a decline in health.

I wish I had the self confidence I have now, in my 20's. Sort of a "wish I knew then what I know now" thing, I guess.

Some days I feel attractive, and some days, not so much. But, I do still get "looked at", which is flattering. Well, unless I'm with DD, and then I know it's her they are looking at. LOL.

Live, Love, Laugh

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Allinaugust you got that right, when I with my dd; HOpe 22 and CAitlin they are definitely looking at them and not the momma. However another question how old was everyone when they had their kids. I started early which I am happy cause being 45 and having a 22, almost 20 and almost 17 I feel really good about that... Peace ..Sad true another today girls mature so much faster. Its scary cause like I said while my youngest dd Caitlin is almost 17 walking in the mall, so many guys and men look, its drives my dh and my son crazy. However they mature so fast and its a sad fact... Peace.. Catherine

That is soooo funny but so true!!! I feel exactly the same way!

They always say as you get older they do go south for some way south... lol... Peace. Catherine

I am in my late 40s. I am not afraid of getting older, don't mind the wrinkles around my eyes, the gray hair by my ears, and the saggy boobs.

My only worries about aging are about sickness - I don't want to suffer and go through awful treatments for an illness. I also worry about Alzheimers. Finally, I do not want to be in a nursing home - ever. I want to die in my own home.

mitchum I so totally agree I never ever want to be in a nursing home.. While some appear to be better then others, basically they all stink , the smell of dirty diapers, sorry not to offend anyone, however having personal experience with my grandmothers, I know what those places are like.. The sad thing is for the people whom are placed there and no one visits and little by little with no human contact or conversation , many of those patients fall deeper into depression and forget how to communciate at all.. So I can totally totally agree with you on that.... Peace... Catherine

It's true not all nursing homes are the same.
I'm 61½.
Mother is 82

My mother got so physically unable to climb stairs that she basically made herself a lonely prisoner in her own upstairs apartment. She refused to let us find her a diff apartment untill the physical problems with stairs got really impossible.
The only humans she saw were us, and her Dr when we carried her to one.
Then last year she consented to fill out an application to be on a waiting list for a downstairs apartment.
But while waiting....Physical limits became physical catastrophy's.
After one hospitalization, then a nursing home 20 day recuperation she went back to the apt.

She HATED that nurseing home.
We were not overjoyed at the care she got there either.
She managed to be back at home 10 days before the next catastrophy.

Long story short since 2008 began she has had many surgeries one after the other ...
She is now a long term nursing home resident.
Diff nursing home.
We approve of the medical care she gets at this one.
She has no problem with this nurseing home.

She sees humans all day. No longer alone in her apartment jail.
At least 3 or 4 days a week one or another of us relatives is there.
The aids are very nice.
I credit her nurse with saving her life in one instance.

All the residents eat meals in a dinning room, so there is a social atmosphere.
They wave at each other as they pass each other's rooms.
Mother cannot get out of bed more than 4 times per week (Dr's orders) For those times they use a sling to get her into the lounge chair type of wheel chair so she can go to the dining room and eat among the others and also to a shower. (amputated leg so she can't get up herself)

They have a small Avery (birds) built into one wall and I enjoy seeing that as we pass that hall outside the dining room.
They have activities.
Mother is not physically able to participate in most of the activites but she does some.

Once when I stopped to visit she and almost everyone else was not in thier rooms! The smiling nurse said they are all at Therapy. I found her in the Therapy room taking turns petting a giant African Cockroach. Oh yeah this Zoo guy had brought suitable animals and each resident petted them. Among the animals was a great big Snowy Owl (Mother's favorite) and a Baby Kangeroo (my favorite) as well as nice friendly dog and the unexpected giant cockroach.
I found it very interesting.
They do things like this fairly often.

Generally speaking there is no unhappy overall smell.
BUT once mothers colostomy bag broke and that certainly smelled, but as soon I told an aid they were right into the room to fix the situation.

Physical Therapy (when mother has had it for each situation) s done in a group setting.

This last 2 weeks biggest problem has been that her TV remote seems to have grown legs and walked off. The TV has no menu button so the remote is necessary to turn on Closed Caption (Mom can't hear a TV)
At least 3 of us (including me) have reported it.
A relative called me tonight and said the Social Worker at the nursing home assures him they will rectify the situation.

Mother followed the election very closely and yes they came to the nursing home and she got to vote! She was so happy about getting to vote even though she was there.

Mother is looking foreward to healing within the next few months and being able to be in a wheel chair daily. When that time arrives she wants Physical Therapy. She is looking foreward to this.

She has not brought up the subject finding her next apartment in a while now so I think she is actually becoming content there.
She said it's kind of a secure feeling to have a maid, a laundry person, a cook and someone to wash up the dishes for her plus having a nurse at hand.

Those in wheel chairs have freedom of the halls and there is a fenced in outdoor garden with Gazabo and tables and benches for out door visiting.

Once mobilized she can do other things. They have a Church service on Sunday, Various group activities are listed on the daily schedule like card playing and crafts among other things.
Last Spring they even held a "Senior Prom"

Mother has a roomate who, well is mentally someplace else most of the time. Still , that woman also gets treated very well by the aids.
The residents there are not forgotten people.

Nursing homes can be a huge social improvement over a depressing self imposed lock up in an upstairs lonely apartment.
I've learned a great deal from my mother's experiences there.
I no longer have fear of living in a nursing home (at least if the right one is found)