I know this is a touchy subject, but I have really got to share something that happend over Thanksgiving. It really shocked and appaulled me.

We went down South (Arkansas/Missouri) for Thanksgiving.
I am not sure if this is true for the most part, but it was for what I came into contact with.
Is racism and bigotry more prevalent in the Southern States than anywhere else, or is it just me finally seeing the crap for what it is?

More times, I heard that the election of Obama was going to be the beginning of the war between the blacks and the whites (I about threw up each time I heard it) and that people there were arming themselves with guns/ammo in preparation for this.
Someone in the family made a comment at the breakfast table one morning that seeing a white man with a black woman makes them sad, but seeing a black man with a white woman makes them sick. I couldn't say a word for a long while, because I was trying to understand and injest what they said. All I could say after a while and during the long silence that followed was "Why do you feel that way?"
I mean what in the heck could I say? It was so ignorant, I just couldn't quite wrap my head around it.

But, for the most part, I found that it wasn't just bigotry against color, it was also bigotry on many different issues with anyone that seemed different. There was the same kind of prejudice against "fat" people as well.

EVERY time we went out anywhere, I was constantly being asked "Should we get a bigger table for you?" "Do you need a bigger chair?" "I am not sure if that shirt is your size" etc.. Whenever I would order food, they all would stop to listen to see what I was going to order..LOL!!
I was like "You know, don't worry, the fat lady is getting the salad"!!

haha. It was so comical, but yet so sad at the same time. To see people judge someone based on what they feel is acceptable on their own standards (which most of the time I found to be of the double nature).
I think that I would absolutely go crazy if I lived there. I would feel so bad about who I am, over time, just simply because of the negativity that my own race put out around me. I am so glad we do not live near our family Does that make sense?

Another question. Does anyone here feel that the Confederate flag is racist? Do you think it is wrong to have it waving high in front of a public facility (like a high school)?

To me the confederate flag has never been racist, but then again I grew up in Texas. But now, after seeing and being exposed to some of the outright bigotry, I am starting to wonder.

All I can say is that I definitely think that alot (not all) of Southern people are prejudiced against anyone who is from up north (Yankees). I can relate to people down here listening to your order in a restaurant. When we would go in some BBQ places or Mom and Pop places owned and frequented by Southerners, they would all stop and stare when we walked in and opened up our northern mouths. Like we were aliens from outer space or something. It was really weird. Even my kids noticed it. They would be nice, until they heard our accent. As for the confederate flag flying, I know that it's an important part of Southern history. I don't have any problems with it, but I'm sure that it might make some people feel uncomfortable. As for "fat", there are alot of full figured people down here, so I haven't noticed that they are prejudiced against them. Southerners sure like to cook and eat fattening foods...and the food is good! I have had alot of African American friends during my lifetime. In fact, my best friend was black and she was in my wedding. One of my black friends in NJ swears that I used to be African American in a previous life. I don't have a problem with mixed race couples. I think that my parent's generation does though. I know that my Dad doesn't like it at all. He's made ignorant comments before which have really irked me. ~Lisa

I live in the south, and believe it or not I am not prejudice. I was taught better than that! Most people aren't taught any better. They grew up listening to their parents and grandparents who were prejudice, so to them it's how it always was and how it always will be, sad but true. The confederate flag does offend some people, I can understand that. I think it shouldn't be flown, because to me, it's not an official flag. We had a BIG stink down here in SC about that flag. I remember during that stink, one house not too far from where we lived at the time put the confederate flag out on the front of their house and I remember thinking.. hmmm that house will burn down in less than a month and sure enough within 2 weeks it was burned! After that I didn't see one of those flags flying in town.

As for the fat thing.. I am surprised at that. LOADS of fat people in the south cause the food is so good HAHA
I think if you make remarks about yourself first.. weight.. looks whatever.. it really pees on people's fires and takes the fun out of pickin on ya. It's what I do! People usually wind up laughing and liking me You coulda said.. "If these chairs will hold you, then I'm sure I'll have no problem" That would have shut them up HAHA!!!

You say you grew up in Texas.. that's a southern state. Was it like that back then? I would imagine it was worse.

__________________
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

Some parts of the south are like being in a different world and they have different customs and ways about them that are apparent when you visit the south,therefore I know that being a Northerner my ways are strange.There is even a huge difference in the churches in the south and they worship differently than the churches in the north. In the south the churches are a way of life and in the north the churches are a once a week services. Who knows who is right and who is wrong?
I am inbetween the north and the south and I have heard the scuttlebut about the races clashing. So sad. It is said to stay away from DC on inaguration day that all *ell is going to break loose.

I've travelled to more than half of the United States, but many of the states I've never visited are those I associate with the "Deep South." I've lived in Ohio most of my life, but I've come into contact with many Southerners during that time. I formed the impression that racism is not necessarily more prevalent there, but it's certainly more accepted.

In the Northern States, people definitely have their prejudices. However, they are not discussed in polite conversation. Much like religion and politics, they are only discussed among close-knit circles. Granted, too many people that feel close to you will bring it up- even though you don’t agree with their viewpoint. That’s always uncomfortable, as I will always associate that close friend or family member with completely ignorance!

I think many Southern states are full of families that have lived in that same town for generations. And, like susiecat explained- the prejudices have been passed down from generation to generation. People that have only been exposed to 1 culture have a difficult time understanding others, and I suspect that’s mostly to blame here. In states with more “transplants” (like the large towns in Florida), there are many cultures living in an area. I think that promotes tolerance, understanding, and eventually acceptance. Some professionals have witnessed an attitude change when a person gets to know a member of a minority they had previously discriminated against. There has even been speculation that having a bi-racial President may change some preconceived notions of what black culture represents. I’m Italian and Irish- both cultures that were once hated in America. My ancestor’s were denied jobs, looked down upon and thought of as “dirty”- all because they were new to this country and dirt poor. Those attitudes took some time to change, and I hope the same will be true of Blacks, Hispanics, and everyone else!

I get very worked up about this issue, as my family is made up of all types of people. I enjoy that diversity and wish that everyone could understand its beauty. I know it takes time for attitudes to change, and the perhaps the South is deeper routed in tradition than the North. We all know that the older generations don’t always believe as the younger generations do- so perhaps some Southerners just need more time to adjust to attitudes that Northerners have adopted. I’ve often heard that in some states, it’s like they’re still fighting the civil war. They do talk and move a little slower! 

Don’t even get me started on the Rebel flag- I accept that it means different things to different people. And I really, really try not to judge when it’s not clear what message the flag waver is looking to send. However, I can’t get past my own pre-conceived notions, there! To me, I see pure hate every time I see that flag.

I will just say this, its truly sad that its almost the year 2009 and racism still lives and breathes around us. Are we all not God's children, did God not create us all. I also feel that for some people no matter what you say or do, they will still be a racist and there is simply others cannot do nothing about. I also have always felt that there is bad and good in all the colors of the world. Wish more people would feel this way and not to judge a book by its cover. Peace in this holiday season. Stay safe... Catherine

I haven't been to a "deep south" state in a long time but my mom's family is from Oklahoma and from what I remember (family trips in the summers), it was very racist and sexist. I don't remember a "fat" prejudice but then all my relatives were "fat"...all that fried food. While they would make racist comments about blacks, they also though that a lot of things "girls" couldn't do.

What I found weird was over Thanksgiving, we visited my inlaws in Kansas. They recently moved there to be closer to my DH's grandma. Anyway...time to eat and my MIL tells me "the men eat first in Kansas". I was like "I just cut up that bird and I'm eating". I've never heard that in my whole life! Women and children always eat first (and I grew up in CA and now live in CO).

I feel it's horrible that any "ism" that is negative exists.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I haven't been to a "deep south" state in a long time but my mom's family is from Oklahoma and from what I remember (family trips in the summers), it was very racist and sexist. I don't remember a "fat" prejudice but then all my relatives were "fat"...all that fried food. While they would make racist comments about blacks, they also though that a lot of things "girls" couldn't do.

What I found weird was over Thanksgiving, we visited my inlaws in Kansas. They recently moved there to be closer to my DH's grandma. Anyway...time to eat and my MIL tells me "the men eat first in Kansas". I was like "I just cut up that bird and I'm eating". I've never heard that in my whole life! Women and children always eat first (and I grew up in CA and now live in CO).

I feel it's horrible that any "ism" that is negative exists.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

My husband and I were discussing the confederate flag thing the other day. I am not from the South nowhere near it and I take it to be racist.
Growing up in big city (SF) people always used terms that would be considered racist when they spoke but in reality they worked with, lived with, were related to and loved all kinds of people they really were not racist at all.
A lot of people I have met who are racist usually don't speak that way unless they are alone with family. I find this weird.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Funny that you say that, smurf. I grew up in OK and didn't grow up around racism at all. Virtually the only races in our town were whites and hispanics and as far as I was aware, everyone got along fine. That had not always been true, but during my childhood it was. Some of my dearest friends were my hispanic friends.

I hadn't thought about it for a long time, but looking back I guess men *did* eat first and were encouraged to do so. I think it was more an 'honor' issue than a "women aren't good enough to go first' issue. Since it was considered good manners to serve oneself *last* rather than first, and generally the wife/women had prepared the food, it was as though the men were the ones they were cooking *for*... so they served them up first and then did their own plates last as it was time to sit down and eat.

Very often in the area in which I grew up - which was less than 30 miles from the KS border - the family dynamic would consist of a husband who was a farmer and / or rancher, and a wife who stayed at home and kept things running there and didn't have an outside job. In rural areas, there simply *aren't* outside jobs available a lot of the time, and the farming operation is a family affair. Dad goes out and plows and plants all day, and mom is home canning and cooking. Dad walks in phsyically exhausted from a hard day of labor, and mom is there with a glass of iced tea. I'm sure to some from more metropolatin areas that probably sounds almost barbaric in a "Leave It to Beaver" sort of a way... but appreciating that one's husband has been out in the hot sun busting his rear all day often leads to a wife who is more than happy to serve him in that way. I know my own mom always did. Dad was sore, dirty, and tired... and she appreciated his efforts and sacrifice and loved him and considered part of her role as his wife the duty of fixing good hot meals for him to come home to at the end of the day. For them it was as much a 'teamwork' proposition as accounting and marketing are in a big business. There's a lot of joint reliance on one another.

I thoroughly enjoy reading The Pioneer Woman - Ree Drummond. Today she has a video of the cowboys working cattle. When you've been around men who have been doing that all day when you've been in the house... you're happy to have their iced tea ready when they walk in the door and let them go first at supper - lo!

I was born and raised in the South and now live up North. I don't find that in the south people are anymore racist than up here. In fact I believe the people up north are a tad more prejudice and bigoted. They are just more in the closet about it. As soon as they found out I was from the South it was like a green light to spew their garbage because they believed that because I was from the south I shared their views and I would be sympathetic to their beliefs.

I remember when I moved up here just because I had an accent and I was from the south people automatically thought I was an idiot. They always made comments about how "rednecks" always inbreed and live in trailers. Funny thing is I am much more educated and from a much more affluent family than most of the people I come across here. They still to this day make ignorant comments. They also assume because I am from the south I am racist against blacks. I was brought up where color of skin, your nationality or your accent doesn't make the person. It is the way they handle themselves and treat others that does. So you could be white and still be trash.

As far as prejudice against overweight people. Well again I find up here it is way more prevalent. I have been in stores and people outright make comments about people who are overweight, and the funny thing is I look at these people and they are nowhere near overweight. Here in the area I am in if you are bigger than a size 6 well you had better watch out because your going to need a diet and soon because you are on your way to obesity.

I have actually been scolded up here because I am A) to polite B) call people Ma’am and Sir which makes them feel like an old person. C) a bleeding heart because I say something when someone makes fun of someone or something.

Now as far as the sexist thing. I am not sure if it is the way we are brought up in the South or what. When I was growing up I was taught that you did serve your man dinner first. In fact you did not sit down and eat dinner until your whole family had dinner in front of them. I cook, clean and do things for my family the way I was brought up too. When I moved up here I was a bit thrown off. Most of DHs friends were just awe struck by me and the way I treated my DH. They kept telling him he was so lucky as their wives/girlfriends wouldn’t even cook for them let alone serve their dinner at the dining table. I would get up and make coffee and a treat when my DH had company and bring it to each of the guys. To this day I still do that. I find a lot of the women up here don’t cook, clean and have a different attitude about what marriage is. I am not saying that is a bad thing I am just saying that you can really see the regional difference in the way we are brought up. Women up North are generally much more independent than women from the South and in some ways I wish I had been brought up with a little more independent nature. But I also believe that the way I was brought up has also allowed helped my marriage and so many of our friends and family up here have marital problems. I tend to notice that my friends down home also do not have the problems that couples up here do.

Anyways my post is getting long. I will say I am proud to be from the South, while it and the people are not perfect. I find that no matter where you live there are bigoted, prejudice, rude and morally ugly people. Whether it is in the North or the South.

I want to clarify my statement. I meant I always take the confederate flag to be racist not people from the South. I can see how my words could be mistaken.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Very good points, Keowa, and I think you are spot on. Northerners do tend to see marriage as 50/50, and that means that both partners do half of the work. For instance, they would be more apt to say that means the man has to load the dishwasher half of the time, cook half of the time, etc.

In the south, "half" is more apt to be dividing up the jobs, and the woman is more likely to end up with jobs that are traditionally seen as 'women's work'. People from the north see that as sexist, while people raised in southern culture rarely feel oppressed by those roles - they are carried out as an act of honor or love.

I live in a state that is considered 'northern' now, and hear a lot of prejudice against hispanics expressed. I think the frustration is legitimate - it's often school teachers whose classes have been flooded with kids who don't speak English in the last five years or so, and the school systems here just aren't equipped for that. If for 100 years your population base has entirely been English-speaking and full of US citizens, to suddenly have 25% of your students unable to communicate with you and to face the need to cut budgets so you can afford a lot of ESL teachers... it's frustrating. Often the hispanic population we see doesn't... how do I say this? I guess giving an example would be good. A handfull of hispanic kids showed up on the bus (from a bus stop) for the first day of school. Three of them were four years old and NOT old enough to enroll. They could not speak English. They didn't know their phone numbers or their addresses - they were just with their older siblings, who were also new to the district and unregistered. The principal ended up with them in her car driving up and down the streets trying to get them to be able to identify where they lived. It was a mess... and those things aren't entirely uncommon.

So... people have developed a negative attitude about hispanics in this area because of things like this.

As I mentioned above, many of my childhood friends were hispanic. They were, however, often second generation US citizens, so they spoke English, their families were known to the community, and they were not creating a resource drain within an established school system, only to pick up and move on before their child could assimilate in any way, shape or form. Who knows - I might have had the very same attitudes that I see around me had I experienced what my northern friends here see happening to their school systems, etc., because of an influx of people from a particular race.

Very interesting about the southerners comments on men eating first. My family in OK did not have the men eat first.I guess we are just weird then LOL In my marriage, we are more 50/50 but I do keep the house and cook. My family eats before me usually but if we had company, my husband would wait until everyone else was served. He cleans up...always.

Thanks for posting the comments....

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Very interesting about the southerners comments on men eating first. My family in OK did not have the men eat first.I guess we are just weird then LOL In my marriage, we are more 50/50 but I do keep the house and cook. My family eats before me usually but if we had company, my husband would wait until everyone else was served. He cleans up...always.

Thanks for posting the comments....

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Actually, mine does, too, smurf - cleanup, I mean. Almost always.

And I always feel a little guilty about that... lol.

If we had company, our guests would go first and we would go last, however, at family gatherings (big ones - my husband is from a huge family and they have Texas roots) the women always do the cooking and since they were the 'preparers' the men go first. If we were to go *out* to eat at a buffet, everyone would just get in line without regard to men/women/children.

Speaking on the man eating first. I believe it is more role related more than gender related. If I cook I serve the people I cooked for then sit down. Since I the female generally cook then ofcourse the male gets to eat first. I guess if I were in a same sex relationship then the woman would always eat first.

Also there seems to be a for lack of better word "hieracrhy" in southern families. We are brought up to respect our elders which I am sure everyone is. But in the south or atleast where I am from in the south the elders would also be served before you or your husband as that is the respectful thing to do.

Another thing I have noticed up here is men walk ahead of the women. Where I am from the women walk in front of the men, when you come to a door you stop, wait and the man opens the door for you or pulls your chair out at the table before you sit down. My DH could never understand why I stood at doors or chairs when we went somewhere. I finally had to tell him I was used to having the man open the door or pull the chair. He now does this for me as an act of respect and courtesy to me.

Speaking on that we are brought up that women walk in front of the men for protection and also respect ( ladies first kinda thing). I still miss some of what I consider common courtesy up here. Road rage is a good example up here. Man I have never seen people yell, scream, throw fingers so much on the roads until I moved up here it is kinda sad but funny too because there seems to many Type A personalities around here. Every one is in a hurry and then there is me the slow easy going southerner. I was told once I need to toughen up a bit.

Oooh! Good observation about the kids, Keowa. When I was a kid we *didn't* go first. It was a 'respect for your elders' sort of a thing. I remember my mom saying something to the effect that we (kids) should put others ahead of ourselves and not be greedy and push to the front of the line. It still seems to be that way when I visit in OK.

However... here, people often seem to want their kids to go first. The kids are encouraged to get some of their favorite things to try before the food is all gone. They'll rush and push to be 'first' at a church potluck while the parents stand back and watch them go through the line, or go through with them and help them dip things.

I do miss a lot of those things that still seem like common courtesies.

I experienced prejudice first hand when DH and I lived in Texas when we were first married. We had two strikes against us:

1) We are 'Yankees"
2) We are Catholic

I had people who claimed to be Christian tell me to my face that they hate Catholics. The whole Yankee thing just made me laugh -- people were really put off when they learned we were from "up North". It was a less than "warm fuzzy" welcome.

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

As I said earlier I am born and raised in the South, now living up North. I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic Church down there. I also recieved the same warm welcome up here that the people from up North get down South. I don't really think it is a North/South thing so much as a you are not from around here type thing.

Just as people stated they got comments as soon as they spoke and people knew they were from the North I got the samething with my Southern accent only as soon I speak people automatically assume my IQ is about 10. They speak to me slow and loud like I am a foreigner. They also assume that all people from the south are "rednecks" and that we are proud of the term. It is really quite amusing.

So anyways my point is it doesn't matter where you are from or where you go there are always going to be people who just don't know any better. They make their assumptions about people from different places based on what they have heard or learned from other people around them. People need to realize that it is not a North/South thing that no matter where you go people are always going to treat you a little different because your not a local and they know that.

You make a good point. There are many towns in our area (NJ/PA) that have the reputation of not being welcoming to newcomers/outsiders.

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

Same here...We're Yankees and we're Catholic...When we first moved down here in 1996, there weren't that many Catholics or Jews...mostly Baptists. Now, this area has so many transplants that it's different now. Anyway, I'm from the Philadelphia/South Jersey area. Most of my family and friends up there have been married for years and have stayed together. Another poster said that she didn't see that much up North. I have to disagree. Most of the people I know got married relatively young, were blue collar workers, and were Catholic. They were very family oriented and came from tight knit communities where everyone knows everyone else. I see many more divorces down here in the south...Atlanta area. The biggest probem being that alot of the people I've met are very materialistic. The women spend much more than the men can make...hence arguing, debt, and divorce. ~Lisa

I agree with much of what you've stated.

I think there have been some insightful, rational posts made in this thread. I only hope they help to open some eyes and make people think. I've tried to rep a few of you ladies, but apparently I've given you rep recently, so I need to spread some more "love" around before I can rep you again.

.

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No outfit is complete without cat hairs!

~~~MsMiser

[quote=sexysmurf;3105725]
What I found weird was over Thanksgiving, we visited my inlaws in Kansas. They recently moved there to be closer to my DH's grandma. Anyway...time to eat and my MIL tells me "the men eat first in Kansas". I was like "I just cut up that bird and I'm eating". I've never heard that in my whole life! Women and children always eat first (and I grew up in CA and now live in CO).

QUOTE]


FWIW, I have lived in Kansas my whole 44 years (except 3 in TX) and I've never heard the men eat first thing. If anything, the kids go first so the adults can get them situated before sitting down themselves, but never have I heard or experienced men going first.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

My grandfather was from down south. Maryland!!! haha. He made my grandmother have her children in Maryland so they wouldn't be "Yankees" My Dad would poke fun at us (His children) because we were Yankees. My Aunt wasnt allowed to marry a man because he was either Irish or Italian. I cant remember. And he was Catholic a double whammy. But My mom is Irish Catholic. I guess that was ok? Very odd. I grew up right outside Philadelphia, my Father was/is racist. I raised my kids knowing that people are people no matter what. My daughters friend is dating an African-American boy her parents would throw a fit if they knew, so she brings him here. I feel bad for the both of them. No matter where you go or where you live someone hates someone because of their race, size, sex, height, hair color, eye color, you name it. I don't accept that, but the only thing I can do is raise my children to see people for who they are inside. If more people do that maybe 100 years from now it will be a lot better. I'm guessing its already better now then it was 100 years ago. I have noticed that it is worse with just older people. That's how they were raised. Its no excuse. Heck that's how I was raised.

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I have OCCD
Obsessive-Compulsive Coupon Disorder!!!

Maybe that is how I was raised, as well (with the serving food first to others). I always make my dh plate, would tell the boys to come get their food, and then when everyone else was situated, drinks on the table, etc.. I would then make my plate and sit down to eat. The family did, however, always wait for me to get to the table, unless I told them to go on ahead and start.

I always wanted to make sure I had made enough food for everyone before I made my plate. It was more important to me that they ate, and were full, then for me to eat. It is much easier for me to whip something up for myself then it is for them (this was, of course, when I was a SAHM!!!)

I feed other people first too.. whoever eats with me I make their plate first and make sure they have everything they want, then I make my plate and eat. I consider it part of making the meal. I had some friends a few years ago from up north. They found out I did that.. the wife was shocked and appalled and the husband thought it was sweet and nice and wished his wife did that for their family.

__________________
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

I am from the south and spent quite a bit of time in ny and I have to say, the people I met there was the rudest people I have ever met. As soon as I spoke, They ALWAYS started the crap about "say dog" ( we sound like we are saying DAWG) If I had a dime for ever time I said dog while I was there, I could retire!Then I got all the crap about stupid southerns and it went on and on. I walked into some grocery store and asked where a item was located and the person at the service desk told me but as I was walking off,i heard her say to the other person working there with her" stupid southerners dont know their way around grocery stores"
As for the conf. flag. When i was in high school, we were called the rebels and the confederite flag was on the helmets of the foot ball team. half the team was black. no one had a problem with it. we were brought up to treat people as we wanted to be treated ourselves.We have very close friends who are black. Our daughters god parents are black. they have went with us on vacation many times. I wasnt brought up to see a difference and neither was the kids I grew up with. we all played together, worked the farms together and spent the nite with each other. no big deal. Really , the only problem I have ever had with people being racist was when I was up north.
I also feed others first and this was another thing the people up north had a problem with. One lady told me that they was not doing that for their husbands cause they were not into the whole "wife must sumit to the husband "thing. I laughed at her. Which really pis&ed her off.
People are friendlier in the south , that's for sure. Here, we speak to people we meet on the street even if you dont know them. Thats another thing the folks in ny had a problem with. I was told once while I was there that folks thought I was totally nuts cause I said good morning to people I was standing in the elevator with. Good lord, i was just being friendly. SOOOOOOOO glad I dont have to live there anymore!

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LoL about the dog comment.

My Inlaws and Hubby do not know what an "R" is. I am always trying to correct their speech. They call a horse a hoss and I keep telling them no it is a horse, Hoss was on Bonanza.

My best friend moved up here with me and one night my we were all playing board games and me and my best friend could not understand them we just sat there like someone was speaking a foreign language because the Boston accent was so thick and they skip a lot of the letters in the words, the words just don't sound the same to us.

But then there are those times that the Southern sayings just fly out of my mouth and they all just look at me like Huh? I haven't finished something, I have done did it. No clue why I say that but I do and try to correct myself.

LOL Keowa, Hubby says I lose my R's as soon as we get as far north as New Jersey...
I do try to speak clearly but if I get upset/angry, etc I am right into my Massachusetts accent.
(It's wikkid bad...lol)
Littlejo: Don't feel bad, I always got asked to say "Park the car at Harvard yard", etc when I traveled down south while living in MA.

I live in Ohio and I am shocked at the racism here. Not just a black white thing, but anyone who is not from this area is a fair target.
But at the same time, I dont really think much of it because I have been around it my whole life.

My SIL is from MI and when she moved down here to the south she was in total SHOCK that people spoke to you on the streets.She said up there that would never take place w/o a strange look or a shrub off. She said she can't get over how the people in the south are so willing to welcome you in w/o even knowing your name.Then my brother and her moved up there and he said he had never seen the likes of rude people. He hated living there. And to be truthful about the racialism card, I have seen it MORE with the blacks here than ever with the whites. My oldest daughter was called a honky some years back I didn't even know the word was still being used in the 90's !! and at age 17 she didn't have a clue what it meant ( Hmm might be that we have never used it nor has anyone we known used that word and she has never been called one before then). I do know my now 6 yo and my 9 yo got into a yelling match back in may over whether or not a person was black or brown. (My 6 yo said her friend says she's black, my 9 yo said his friend says he's brown) My kids never hears the word N in my house. But my oldest sure has heard the honky word. I can promise you on any given day my kids can tell you on their bus the black kids call each other N's. I don't get it myself. Why would they do this if they find the N word so offensive ??and I know for a fact I have heard the black men in wal-mart call each other N's on cell phones. Makes no sense to me at all.
My Sister in law is married to a black man and they have 3 wonderful kids together and I also have a 2nd cousin that is married to a black man they also have 3 kids, never would I allow anyone to call them a N or half breed w/o chopping some heads off. But it's sure is live and well within the blacks here. So I guess it might be what part of the world you live in as to whether or not it's still there.

I worked at a state run drug rehab for many many yrs and was called whitey, cracker, honkey, chalk by alot of the black patients. We never called them the N word but they sure call each other that all the time and dont have a problem with it. That I cant understand either.

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Littlejo, so sorry to hear that you feel that up north here in New York are some of the rudest people. I am a Native New Yorker born and raised, lived in New York all my life. There is simply no place like New York. In my personal views there are rude people in every state.To simply say down south people are more friendly is not fair , that your views.I can say I visit Florida Sanibel Island ever April and simply love it. We also have been all over Florida and love it as well. However perhaps I am biased when it comes to the state I call home, kindly do not judge a state by a few people.Someday I would love to have a summer home for a few months in Sanibel. However I will always have a personal warm feeling for New York and could never ever leave it alone and left return. I also have a summer home in Conneticut on a Lake in the country its so beautiful. Think about it okay. Peace. Catherine

Perhaps it's because you are a native & what you find as acceptable manners or graces or what ever you like to call it Little Joe finds as rude.

Sunsetbeach fyi no matter what you say, you will find rude people in every single state,most people who live in Boston hate New York and vice er versa,but to single out one single state is not fair.Sadly it goes back to not to judge a book my its cover..Oh well to each its own. Catherine

I agree with littlejo, people are friendlier to strangers in the south. It's one of the things about the south that draws people here.
I have a friend in Alberta Canada, one of his co-workers takes trips into the southern US states at least twice yearly. My friend asked him about all the different states he's been to..what stood out most.. in Texas it was how men were carrying guns everywhere, in their pickup trucks and even on camping trips.. my friend asked about the Carolinas and the co-worker said. The people. The people are SO friendly and nice. They talk to you like they've known you for ages and they just met you.

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

I agree with littlejo & susiecat.....based on having lived in the NorthEast, Texas, and the Chicago area and having parents living in North Carolina. People in the North East are not terribly friendly and the service professions leave a lot to be desired. Whenever I travel to the Carolinas, I am always truly amazed at how friendly and helpful people are. It actually is so night-and-day from what I'm used to when shopping that I almost feel uncomfortable with all the attention. New York City is really bad in terms of nasty and rude in my experiences visiting there.

These are my experiences and they are correct for me, just as littlejo's are correct for her. Nobody can convince me otherwise (nor should they). Similarly, these are general observations about regions - not to be taken personally by anyone - unless, of course, it's true for you. I certainly know that I'm not as friendly as the average Carolinian....I know that for a fact!

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Life isn't fair and it's not unfair to point out the truth.. As a general rule, people ARE more friendly down South and as a general rule, people ARE more rude in New York. Most New Yorkers don't mind the label. They EARNED it and some are actually proud of it!

New York has the reputation for being rude because so many residents ARE rude. Do you think that hundreds of thousands of people said "Let's pick on New York?". I've been in every state except three and I can tell you from personal experience that NO OTHER state even comes close to New York in terms of rudeness. I think that you've never been in the South and don't know what it's like to be treated well by strangers - and Southerners ARE more friendly to strangers and don't rush everywhere.

Most states have their own reputation and from what I've seen, those reputations are also accurate. Like it or not, New York has a reputation of rudeness for a reason. Overall, the people there are rude - much, much ruder than the other states. To each his own but you're all alone in believing that New York isn't different from other states. The rest of the country knows better!

Well to me personally and I know from others as well. There is simply no place like New York State, New York City. Upstate New York and Long Island New York and Montauk and the Hamptons. New York by far is the most reconized and most popular state. Its the financial capital of the World. Its home to Broadway, its home to the Statue of Liberty. Its home to Rockerfeller Center which has the most beautiful skating ring and the most beautiful Christmas Tree. Its home to The Annual Thanksgiving Day Parade right in front of the largest Store Macys. It has by far any type fo restaurant you could ever ever imagine. It also has many of the most beautiful stores you have ever seen.Its also has some of the worlds best museums and Central Park and The Plaza Hotel I could go on and on. Then if you come to Long Island the Hamptons it is home to the most expensive most beautiful homes where there and in New York City so many actors and famous people call New York Home. Again like I said life is all about choices, but in comparrison there is nothing like New York City. And truly to say we are the most rudest people you are being totally biased and judging all New Yawkers to be rude.. Again there are rude people all over the states and all over the world....As for me and so many millions of people who now unless your a Native New Yorker you could never fully understand the statement New York New York as sung by the late Frank Sinatra.. Peace. Catherine

Exhibit A. Case rests.

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I didn't judge all New Yorkers to be rude. I judged New York to be the rudest state and the Southern states to have much friendlier people overall. It's an opinion shared by MILLIONS of people and the average New Yorker wouldn't blink at it. They'd agree with me and go about their business.

As for the rest of your NY rah rah, I happen to agree with you - except for the part about the Hamptons being the most expensive real estate in the US. It's not. But New York IS fun, exciting and has a special energy all it's own.

New York's many charms have nothing to do with this discussion though. I love New York too and visit it very often but I don't pretend that it's not the rudest state. I don't delude myself into thinking what I like is utterly and completely perfect. I can enjoy New York with it's flaws and without blind adoration.

opal fyi the average home in the Hamptons where so many of the rich and famous movie stars live and vacation start at 40 million dollars and the most expensive to date was a house, nothing special 4 bedrooms 3 baths on the water it sold for 65 million dollars. So if I made a mistake and its not the most expensive it certainly it is one of the most expensive. Perhaps right there with California and perhaps Hawaii.. Catherine peace stay safe in this holiday season.

Wow, prices must have REALLY jumped since July 2008.......


"Like in Manhattan (and Brooklyn and Queens), home sales in the Hamptons plunged annually in the second quarter of 2008. At the same time, the average home sales price dropped annually and quarterly as well to $1,730,414, according to a new report from appraisal firm Miller Samuel and brokerage Prudential Douglas Elliman."

found here: Hamptons Mimic Manhattan with Home Sales Plunge | The New York Observer


a simple google search found that information, just in case anyone looking to buy there was scared off by the high prices

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

thanks! I always wondered if they were rude to me cause I was from the south and there is no way to hide it when I speak or was they just rude in general. now I know. Thanks.

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Sorry again however no matter where you come from in any state , there will always be rude people...Its a plain fact.Peace.Catherine

This is true.. no doubt, but I think per capita NY has the most rude people.. because.. well.. there are more people there.

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

The Southern "life style" lends it's self to being more friendly: Southerners, as a general rule, are more laid back, don't feel as rushed and generally come from large extended families---which means that generally speaking everyone knows at least someone that you know. FWIW, we Southerners, aren't necessarily more friendly. We just really want to know who you are, who your relatives are and where you fit in to our "family"! LOL

Something that I have noticed since we have moved to the NW/Rocky Mtn. Area: Most up here are just awed by the fact that I return phone calls, say yes ma'am/no ma'am, refer to people by Mr/Mrs/Ms. unless they are friends or I'm asked to refer to them by their first name....It's kind of strange sometimes.

As to the Confederate Flag--anyone who has studied history, understands that the biggest reason for the Civil War, was not about slavery, but more a war of economics and state's rights. Like just about any symbol it can be taken out of context and be construed as racist. So, it really depends on the context in which the flag is being used.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Well said.