This has caused a minor rift with DH's family and us. DH and I decided several years ago that we would no longer give Christmas gifts to nieces & nephews on both sides of the family after they turned 18 unless they were in college. If they were in college, then we would continue until they were 21. I already had grown nephews from my oldest sister that we had stopped buying gifts for because they didn't continue school after high school. DH's family was not happy when we stopped buying gifts for DH's sister's boys when the rest of his family was. The oldest nephew is a drug addict who often sells any gifts he gets for drug money. The other 2 boys never graduated from high school, don't work and live with SIL rent free. The rift started when SIL (not the mother of the boys) stopped by and was admiring our Christmas tree and saw a gift for my oldest niece, age 20, who is a sophmore at Oregon State University. She chastised me for playing favorites with my side of the family and not treating "their" nephews the same! I basically told her to bug off, that what DH and I did was a mutual decision and none of her business.

So do you have a "cut off age" for buying gifts for nieces & nephews?

It is your decision and if SIL has a problem, then ignore her. Doesn't sound you would be missing much.

You know you are treating both sides the same so DH and you are the people who decide what your family will be doing.

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

We have a very large family - We are 7 children...It was getting to be too much to buy all of the nieces/nephews each year.... (my parents have 16 grandchildren - two are mine, so I have 14 nieces and nephews)

The ages range from 10 - 27

Here is what we started to do about 5 years ago:

All my nieces & nephews names go in a hat (or bag, etc)
Each adult (me and my siblings) will have to choose the number of names out of the hat by how many children we have.
Ex: I have 2 children, so I have to choose 2 names....
Each child ends up getting a gift (then of course they get from grandparents, and godparents)
We set a limit to spend and this works out great.....

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

My aunt and uncle stopped buying for my sister and I when we both graduated from high school.

Since we do not have that many nieces and nephews (2 on my side, 5 on DH) we (should say DH!) have opted to buy for them all this year. The thing is 3 of the 5 on DHs side are over 18 and either we send the gift or give to them personally, and never hear a word about the gift. I told DH this will be the last year for the 3 of them and he has finally agreed! We've also decided to cut out "his" other 2 next year, as we hardly know them.

For years now, all the nieces and nephews draw names. We all get together Christmas Eve and each one has one gift to open. They are ages 12-24. It works out well. We set a $30 gift limit. We use to all buy for each other, but it got way out of hand, and took too long for us to open the gifts. This works out much better.

We bought for every child, every year (7 nieces and nephews) until one of the families got down to only one at home and then their mother asked if the kids could start drawing names which is what the aunts/uncles have done for years.

I don't think it's at all fair to all of the families that have bought for all of their older kids since they were born until they joined the work force or graduated college, one or the other... We along with another family still have younger children at home for a few more years.

BUT, all I can say is OH WELL and look at the bright side... we are shopping for fewer kids now! I guess it had to happen someday??? and I am extremely glad that we waited to have kids when we were older. LOL.

I have 7 brothers and sisters. They all had children. So we have never bought gifts for each other's children. It was enought to buy for our own children.

On my husband's side, he has a brother and a sister who never married so they bought things for my children.

Their senior year in High School is usually the cut off. However, every other year, we have a big get together with my in-laws, and exchange with EVERYONE......thankfully, this year is NOT one of those years.

The funny thing is, my SILs are older, and their kids were "grown" before mine. When DH and I got married, we (read I) sent gifts to ALL the children. When my kids came along, the SILs did not do this for mine, unless it was an every other year get together. Same with birthdays.....I used to send b'day gifts to EVERYONE.......my kids got zip.

A little OT,sorry.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

aia - i have the same situation in my family. my kids get zip from my brother & SIL. i still send to my niece and nephew because i think it's right. i don't go overboard, but i do remember them. i have to live with me.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I stopped getting my nephews gidts the year I just couldnt afford it. I showed my brother the holes in my work said I just can't get gifts for your family this year and he said "no problem they get plenty from us."
He gets a huge christmas bonus and I got zip. He always gotten my family presents and now that his one son is grown his son has my family for dinner every christmas eve.

Thats a very good question. There are 6 nieces and nephews (including my 3) on my side and 5 (also including my 3) on my dh side. Two of my nephews on my side are 25 and 27 and my son is 21. I still give them a Christmas gift and my son gets gifts too from his aunts and uncles. I will keep buying for them until they have children and then switch to them. On my dh side my 21 year old is the oldest. The rest are 11, 12, 13, and 15. My oldest didn't receive a birthday gift from his uncle this year so that may mean that he will not get a Christmas gift either. I guess we will wait and see. If he doesn't get anything then I will also stop buying for that side of the family when my niece and nephew turn 21.

We cut it off at 18. We now send "family" gifts. Things for the home, kitchen, etc.

I never thougth about it . . Can both my nephews at the California Youth Authority get Christmas presents from their Aunt Kathy???

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Mommy to three wonderful boys, Justin (11), Nicholas (9) and Scottie (8)

We stopped once they graduated from high school. I have 14 nieces and nephews on my side of the family. The only exception is one niece on DH's side of the family -- she is an only child and since we have three kids and they send birthday and Christmas gifts to my kids, I continue to send to her even though she's in college. I'll probably stop once she graduates.

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

We do it a little differently in my family. Any child receives gifts until they turn 18. After that, they only receive gifts if they give them. We don't have a minimum spending limit or anything of the sort. We just think that once you're an adult, you're capable of remembering someone on a holiday or their birthday. The amount you spend isn't what's important and a gift is whatever you choose to give. So far, everyone has always wanted to swap birthday and Christmas gifts so nobody has ever been dropped off the list.

I don't have any nieces or nephews so this is a moot point for me.

However, in my extended family(mom's side)we exchanged names for as long as I could remember. All the kids names went in one hat and each family drew as many names as they had kids. Then all the adults names went in another hat and they each drew one. After about the age of 15 or so your name went in the adult draw.

Once everyone was over 18 we stopped drawing names and just did a gitt card exchange. Everone brought a giftcard for $25 to a local business and we came up witha different way to exchange them each year.

Now all the extended family has moved away so we no longer exchange. I do buy small gifts for my cousins two kids, who are both under age 10, since she still lives locally and I see them at the holidays.

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Jesus SAVES by shopping smartly and using double coupons!

My Mom and Dad both came from large Catholic families, so we never got gifts from our uncles and aunts growing up. It would have been ridiculous; I have 48 1st cousins on my Mom's side alone. Well we did get gifts from the ones that were our godparents, and I'm thinking those stopped when we were out of highschool.

My SIL doesn't have kids and my brother only has 1 boy. I do buy for him. We still always get together with them and my Mom to open presents on Christmas Eve. They buy presents for my 3 kids. I guess I will probably stop buying for him when he is 18 and out of highschool.

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"No one believes more firmly than Comrade Napoleon that all animals are equal. He would be only too happy to let you make your decisions for yourselves. But sometimes you might make the wrong decisions, comrades, and then where should we be?"
- George Orwell Animal Farm

No--I only have three nieces so I will NEVER stop buying them gifts. I love them! I still buy gifts for my brother and sisters why would I stop giving to my nieces? Even if I was broke I would send them a plate of fudge or something.

And the Aunts and Uncles that were close to us whether they lived by us or not sent us gifts and those we were not close to did not. My Mom had two brothers they lived nearby we always spent the days with them but my Dad had nine brothers and sisters and most did not live close to us so we did not get presents from them.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I cut 'em off when they reach 21. That is, except for the niece and nephew who come to my mother's house for Christmas. I get them "stocking stuffers," but that's it. My niece usually gets something like body wash and my nephew gets a CD.

I wouldn't base it on whether they graduated college or not, but to each her own. All my nieces and nephews have graduated, except for those who are still in grade school and one who's had numerous health problems that made it difficult for him to complete his degree.

Edited to add that on my side of the family there are 6 nieces and 3 nephews. On my husband's side there are 6 nieces and 4 nephews.

I don't mind buying gift for my nieces and nephew over 18 but I will only give them the gift if they come to the family Chistmas party.
I just got tired of sending gifts with my brother and sister for their kids because they couldnt bother showing up.
And I never got one Thank You

Renee