While shopping at the grocery today I noticed several older women maybe in thier early 70's or so shopping alone. And shopping obviously for 1. You know like 1 banana, a can of soup, pint of milk etc.. It was so sad, and then I realized that one day this is going to be me. It is just depressing. I hope that I never have to just shop for myself. For some reason I have never really took notice before but for some reason today, I only had to run to the store for a few items so I wasn't in a hurry and noticed this. Do you ever fear being alone? Shopping for 1?

Nope. I am alone, and right now in my life I LOVE it! I went from being with my Mom, to being with my boyfriend. Now at 41 I am all alone. I shop for 1, but it looks like I shop for 5 because I only go shopping once a month (i hate shopping!) So I have a BIG cart full.
Being alone isn't as bad as people think.. at least it's not for me. I have friends who feel sorry for me, and I wish they wouldn't. They didn't know what life was like for me before.

Now.. I used to be scared of being alone. When I was first single last year, I thought I better hurry and get a new man FAST! Glad I didn't! Being alone has really brought me out of my shell

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

Look on the bright side. Maybe each of those women has a huge circle of friends with whom they socialize. So much so in fact, that they relish their alone time. I don't know -- I guess that's what I hope for myself when/if the time comes.

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

Maybe.. she is in a Golden Girls type of Lifestyle and she's the Blanche of the 4 and she was there to pick up men.. buying naughty stuff like a banana... I mean really who buys 1 banana?!?

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

I have noticed this also, and yes, it does make me think about my future. I can see why elderly people who live alone lose interest in food. It is too much work to cook for one person, plus it's a big effort to get out to the store if you have physical problems, and also deal with the weather and the fear of falling down on the snow or ice. I almost always make an effort to make eye contact with these people and give them a smile and a hello.

What depresses me more is seeing an elderly person eating alone in a restaurant. I always want to ask them to join us but never have - my fear of rejection. I imagine they either lost their spouse, or perhaps the spouse is in the hospital or nursing home, and it's too much for them to cook for one.

Look at it from the other side - at least they are able to live alone and shop for themselves. It beats being in a nursing home or the like. Plus, getting out and shopping is excercise, too.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

I agree. They are getting out, shopping, and doing things. Don't feel sorry for them. Surely, they have children and grandchildren that look after them.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I guess my baby is 20 now, and will probably be moving out of the house when she finishes college. And I know that when my grandparents were alive and my children were younger there was the other side of the family to visit and so some years on the holidays I know my grandparents were alone.
I know the holidays have to be the hardest. I like to hope they have children and grandchildren to take care of them. But I know sometimes that just isnt the case. Hopefully my children or at least one of them will always live close to me and will be a big part of my life.
I was thinking that today I noticed this more because Wed is not my normal shopping day at this store, and there was a quite a few older people around, maybe it was a senior shopping day. Or maybe because Xmas is a week away and it just makes me sad for these older people who may be alone. And hope I am not one of them someday.

I have been single now for six years, after been legally married for 20 years, spending most of my time then alone or with my kids. At first, I was really lonely - mainly missing the kids, not the ex who preferred to spend his time alone. Now, I don't think much about it. I can call friends or attend scheduled activities if I want to be around people, or I can go home and be by myself. I've had a roommate for the last six months (victim of the economy) which has been nice for a while, but I look forward to the time when my home is my own again. I'm 50, so I don't qualify for these activities, but most areas have senior centers where people can go to eat, play games and interact with others. There are volunteer opportunities for people of all ages. My mom is 79 and regularly attends senior functions at her church and the local senior center. She gets together regularly with a group of women (the Gals) for lunch, cards or whatever. Since my sister and I live 500 miles away, she often spends holidays with this group. There will be several at her house for Christmas, along with my sister, my daughter and her roommate and me. When I was growing up, there were two sweet ladies that joined my nuclear family (my parents' relatives being in Nebraska, while we lived in So. Cal) for holidays, birthdays, etc. They both lived alone but were active in the Garden Club, etc. In other words, it is possible to live alone and have as active a social life as one wants. The key is to have the right attitude - one of openness and caring. Or to be a funny grouch. Because who wants a real grouchy grouch around? Aging is what one makes of it, and attitude is more an obstacle that physical things like walkers and canes.

I remember taking my Grandma to the grocery store when I visited and thinking about how sad it was she was shopping for one. I wondered if she missed the days when she shopped for a family of five.

But I also remember begin grateful to my Grandfather for buying savings bonds every week so she was financially secure.

Amazing that he supported a family of five on a carpenters pay and still put money away so his widow never had to worry.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

I look at my elderly relatives and think that if I were in their shoes that I would be depressed knowing I probably only have less than 10 years left to live. I wonder what thoughts are going through their head when they have time to think about it. Sad and depressing, I know, but I do think about it.

Yeah, I think about that, too. My in-laws are 84 and I wonder if they think often about dying soon

Actually, I think about it for myself, too, since I'll be 62 in February and there are obituaries every single day for people in their 40's, 50's and 60's.


I work in a senior living apartment complex and the neatest thing about it is that the residents can choose to be as social as they want to be. Some of them simply stay in their apartments most of the time and you never see them. Others gather every morning in the community room for coffee and sharing home-baked goodies. They have bingo every week, communion every week, pizza parties, shopping trips every Wednesday in the van, holiday parties, etc.

That is why Life is so precious and that all of us each and everyone should never take life for granted and live life to the fullest and try so hard to live each day as your last....I also know the feeling both my parents are elderly 76 and 77 both are in bad health especially mom who just wednesday found out that they tumors came back in her bladder and she already had 5 operations to have them removed and many bouts of chemo.Sadly this time the doctors told her there is nothing they can do except to remove her bladder and she would be faced with living with a bag on the side. Peace and stay safe in this holiday season spend time with your family,laugh, love , give and receive and as always eat a extra piece of pie .... Catherine

Yep, been there, done that. I was always scared of being alone too but it's really not that bad. Rather freeing actually! Being alone while IN a marriage is worse which I lived with for quite awhile.

I could never live alone.I would live with anyone to keep from living alone.For some reason when I'm living alone It makes me go mentally insane.
So,yes I have a HUGE fear of living alone.

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Yeah my husband's like that too...he lived with a crazy narcissistic psycho woman(his EX GF) to keep from being alone for 12 years! YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't that the truth

OP, you really don't know what type of lives these older ladies have, so don't feel sorry for them. If they're anything like my MIL, she's in her 80's, lives alone, goes to her flat-footin' dances every weekend (and Sundays, too), goes to church, she's running constantly. Heck, she even 'sits' with people who are younger than she is and takes them to the grocery store!! When she goes to the grocery store, she buys for one, but I certainly don't feel sorry for her. She has more of a social life than I do!!!

I agree with you! I enjoy being alone sometimes. With three kids around, I don't get that opportunity often. I do think of getting old though and I wonder what my life is going to be like then. I think it would be sad if all of your friends, husband, etc. have passed and you are the only one left. ~Lisa

Well tonight I was complaining a bit about shopping for nine. There are six of us, the inlaws are in town, as well as ds's new college gf. At the end of the day, I know I need to give thanks that I am not shopping for one-that is sad.

While I do not like living alone , there are times when I truly cherish having my home to myself alone for a few hours or even perhaps a day. I also firmy agree it is so much more healthy to live alone then stay in a unhappy marriage its does both partners no good. Peace and stay safe in this holiday season. Catherine

This is a bit off topic but I wanted to let you know that my father had his removed and has had many perfectly healthy and full years. He is having some infection problems now but I expect him to live many more. He is in his 70's now and still works because he enjoys it. It is scarey but once you get used to it, it really isn't that bad.I am also a big believer in going to the Mayo clinic for second opinions. pm me if you have any questions.

fafardsmommy thanks for the post concerning my mom and the information about your dad. For now the doctors have asked her to stop smoking and perhaps just perhaps the tumors will not continue to grow and hopefully they will not have to remove her bladder. However my mom said she would try the gum so my prayer for the New Year is that God will give her the strenghth to stop smoking only time will tell. Peace and thanks so much I deeply appreciate it. catherine

It doesn't need to be sad. Some people like living alone and have full, happy lives. They can do anything they want to - whenever they want to. The people you see shopping alone probably have friends and family who love them and they don't think their lives are depressing just because they shop for one. Why is this is going to be you one day? Are you going to outlive everybody you care about? Why do you think you'll end up all alone?

Personally I always feel sorry when I see elderly people shopping just for one. I worry so much about them, While perhaps when you younger and alone is not so bad because you will still have your friends. However as we get older like my parents, mostly everyone around them their siblings and alot of their friends have passed, so it could be come lonely for them, also having to live alone and worry about living all alone in their house, so my heart goes out to them for I personally would not want to be like that... Peace. Catherine

I just got a Christmas card from my aunt who is in her mid-80's. This year she wrote a Christmas letter and mentioned her "special friend". She has a boyfriend!!! lol She is still full of life even though she lives alone. She spends part of the year visiting her children in three different states but keeps busy where she lives. So I guess alone doesn't always mean lonely!

Kathytheshopper wtg for your aunt that is so wonderful to hear and sooooo cute. I love when I see elderly couples together holding hands its so precious....I guess boyfriend keeps her young....lol.. simply wonderful. Catherine

Maybe they are just shopping for a couple of days because they were going out of town. Maybe they were doing their "daily" shopping.

I really think that most older people are pretty well adjusted and have an ok life....in this day and age, more and more older people are healthier and healthier and have an active and happy life.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

No I don't think I will out live everyone I care about. But my dh is 14 yrs older then I am. So the chances of me out living him are very good. My children I pray will out live me. But I know when children have families of thier own they dont have alot of time to spend with thier parents, with thier own children's activities. So I do think some day it will be me because I know my children will not want to spend every day with me eating every meal with me etc. While now I spend the day alone in my house is great, even having a couple days is nice. But I can't sleep when my dh is out of town it is very lonely. One of my girls just bought a house and she was excited. But she told me she is lonely. While she has tons of friends and family, when she goes home alone to an empty house at night she is lonely. She told me it is nice to do what she wants when she wants, she also misses having someone around all the time.

I agree.

I work as an assistant property manager at a senior living complex and the average age is about 75 (we have several ladies who are in their 90's). Since this is not an assisted living building, all the residents are self-sufficient. I'd say that out of 58 residents, probably half of them still drive and several of them still work. Their association plans so many activities every week that they can have a very active social life if they so choose. They have bingo, shopping trips, pizza parties, barbeques, computer courses, writing classes, crafts, etc.

Most of these women (there are two men) seem pretty content with their lives

Ronnang I am with you hon, I totally agree while there are times I love having my home to myself for a couple of hours or even a day, I could and would never want to live alone .As far as ages to how long people live , it varies personally my mom who is 77 has been sick so long and with so many aliments its truly hard.My dad just recently started having some medical problems. While my fil god bless him he is 80 and his health and the way he acts is more like 50 so go figure.I guess the bottom line is if you are healthy and can live alone then thats true blessing. But if your elderly and sick then its very sad. Peace in this holiday season. Catherine