My husband's parents are not buying us a gift this year,jsut the kids. As far as I know they are fine financially, and this is coming out of the blue.

Are there any parents out there that stop buying there adult kids a Christmas gift?

Yes, ours did several years ago. We don't buy gifts for my dad/stepmom, we do buy them for my mom (she's all alone), and we only buy for DH's mom if we draw her name in the family's gift exchange -- she joins with her adult children.

My parents don't buy for me, nor do I buy for them. Our thinking is that if we want something, most likely we'd buy it for ourselves. Besides, I'd rather spend the time with them rather than the money. Time is much more important (as you can see from another post on this board regarding aging).

We only buy for the kids in both sides of the family. This started after all the siblings had their own families. It is not always about the cost but it can be so hard to buy for adults. Like another poster said if my parents really wanted something they would have bought it long before Christmas. It does make shopping much easier.

I can't think of a reason I would not give my son a gift especially since his birthday is on Christmas Day.

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My Mom always gave me a gift on Christmas.. but as I got older the gifts got stranger. One year I got a bottle of some kind of weird sauce, a wooden spoon and a package of gum HAHA It was disappointing at first to get these strange things, but after a couple of years, it was a joy seeing and laughing at what she gave me

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I can't imagine not buying my kids a XMAS gift. I would eat bread and water if I had to, just to be able to buy them something. I enjoy giving gifts, and just could not imagine not buying my kids a gift. Even when they are married, or have kids......they will still get gifts from us.

Maybe money is tight and they don't want to say anything????

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

My family is moving away from gifts and it has nothing to do with money. I started hating the whole thing when I realized our economy depends on people buying useless crap between October and December. Seriously. When the kids did the Santa thing, I enjoyed their excitment, but I could really take or leave the gift giving thing now. We do value the time off that allows us to get together and enjoy each other, so that is what we value now. My husband and I quit the obligatory cross gifts early in our marriage.

we went to drawing names when it became the exchange gift card exchange. When you reach a certain age, most people just buy whatever they want or need and gift buying is just too hard.

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MyCoupons is #1 for holiday shopping!

We haven't exchanged adult gifts in some time. We only buy for the kids in the family. I have my poor 18, 18 & 21 yr old kids convinced that they aren't receiving gifts this year.....LOL.

They are all getting new MacBooks plus the stuff from their grandparents & aunt. Surprise! I'm such a mean mom....lol

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This was the first year that we did not buy the adult children a gift. only the grandkids. We have 10 grandkids and it is extremely expensive. We did buy the child that has no kids gifts. The other 3 either have 3 or 4 children. Considering the last several years we just exchanged gift cards I really do not see the point. And giving gifts was a waste because most times they were returned or given away, on both sides. Saves everyone money and time this way.

I just couldn't imagine not buying my daughters gifts. They wouldn't have to be expensive but I just love buying for my kids. They don't stop being my kids at a certain age. I agree that everything has become very commercialized but I just couldn't go throught the Holiday without buying or giving to a Charity in their name would also be nice. I do however struggle with buying my parents gifts because they do have everything they need or want so it is a bit stressful with that but with some creative thought I manage to find nice personal things that they like.

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i can undrestand this. money is tight. but, did you let your kids know you were doing this, or you just are doing it and not telling them? we always get a gift from his side.

I would be crushed if my parents didn't buy me a gift on Christmas. It's just my sister, her husband and I, so the list is small.

I confess, we're just as spoiled now as we were when we were kids. And we still get toys. My sis is getting a DS, mom and dad are getting a Wii and I'm getting some games for systems I already have. BIL is the only one not getting toys but he is getting a Dremel and some other tools so I guess those count as "toys".

If my parents were in a dire financial situation I would understand not buying gifts and would encourge them NOT to buy anything. But not buying gifts because it's too hard to come up with ideas or you just don't wnat to, etc. is just sad.

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I totally agree with your post.

This is where our family is at this year. We have no kids in the family at the moment so we're not exchanging gifts this year -- spending time together will be our focus instead

We all still buy for each other. Sometimes it is hard finding something that they might want or need. It is almost funny sometimes when my husband gets birthdays gifts or Christmas gifts from his mom b/c he is 36 and still gets little trinket toys for him sometimes lol. One year she got him a couple of hot wheels cars (he has never collected or will he ever collect these that I can see) hehe.

I am an only child, so i get christmas presents. My mom sells Longabarger so i always get something from that. And I always get new bras and panties for christmas...lol. I have two kids. So basically its only me and the two kids she has to buy for. She does buy for a few others. It would seem werid not to atleast get a little something from her. but if she didnt have the money I wouldnt expect anything from her and I would still get her something. I am getting my mom 2 gc one for a pressure point foot massage and another for a manicure.

steph

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Money should never be a issue for gift buying with all the wonderful coupons that has been out all yr long. I buy gifts when i see them on sale and put them back for christmas. I can not even to begin to think of not buying my mom ( dad is dead or he would be getting stuff too) or our grown daughter or my sister who is single. I buy all yr long for the whole family so its not a strain at christmas.I also crochet stuff for my clients and family members too.

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I always make sure that I have Christmas "covered" by planning and saving for it all year. Any money I get from rebates/refunds, surveys, and loose change that I wrap I take tot he bank and put in a Christmas club account. Then in October I have a little fund to spend for gifts.

I limit the amount I spend on Christmas stuff to the amount in that account but I don't have to spend all of it. Several years ago the rebates were VERY good and I had almost $500 in the account. That was too much to spend for gifts IMHO, so some went to gifts, I gave a little to charity and the rest went in my savings account to boost my emergency fund.

I average about $250 by saving this way and that is more than enough for the holidays. Painless way to cover the expense because I never miss the money.

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We always gave our children and their spouses gifts.
The last couple years we give them cash. I can't imaging a time that I would not give them anything.
The grandkids get gifts from us but we spend less on them .

It is like a trickle down thing with me . I do my kids and they do for theirs.

I do give our kids and their spouses an EQUAL AMOUNT! We always have given everyone the same amount .

Anyone remember the old board discussion about people spending less on the their kids spouses?

>>>They are all getting new MacBooks<<<


Will you please adopt me before Dec. 25th? I do windows and floors, am a very useful prospective recipient of one of those MacBooks ;-)

MZ

This will be the first year that I will not be exchanging gifts with my parents or my sister. My sister and her SO just separated so she really isn't in the holiday mood. My mother has alzheimers and can't really shop anymore. My father isn't a shopper and doesn't even want to write checks. So I'm looking forward to just having them here for Christmas and enjoying a nice meal and each other's company without the stress of having to shop for the "perfect" gift. (I'm still sending a gift to my brother who is in California and won't be here to celebrate with us.)

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Linda

I could never for one no matter how old my children get ever ever not exchange gifts with them . I also could never ever imagine not buying gifts for my parents and and in laws however its only been my fil since my mil passed away 8 years ago.Also the same my parents while buying gifts and wrapping is too hard for them now. They just give us all simon g.card to a mall so that we may buy what we want and its easier for them.We also buy for all nieces and nephews and brothers and sisters and in laws all get token gifts they can both use together . SO there are gifts all around here and also could never imagine it any other way.. Peace and stay safe in this holiday season. Catherine

Christmas is for the children (present wise)...My sisters and I, and my parents haven't exchanged gifts in years. It's far more important for us to, when we are able, spend time together and make it memorable for the kids. We adults have everything we want or need.

I'm pretty sure that my parents would much rather have us visit for Christmas instead of sending some gift card or other useless trinket. Unfortunately, since money is an object, we can't go down South for Christmas.

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My Mom usually gives us money and then little trinkets to open on Christmas day. Now my IL's give us a gift card, one for each of us and then some cheap toy for the kids, nothing much, but we do get something. While we always spend a fortune on their gifts because that's what they want ( this year they asked for a Wii).

Funny thing is that they do give us ANYTHING on birthdays?! BUT if we don't get my FIL something he won't talk to us, he gets so mad. So for the last few years we get them about a $25 gift on their birthdays and we get a card. It's very uneven in that family, the daughter gets the world and we get whatever's left. I feel bad for DH really, he looks sad when he gets that empty card.

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