There's something about anonymity on the internet - I need someone to talk to and I feel like such a baby I can't talk to my husband or my "real life" friends.

I'm having knee surgery on January 22. I am absolutely, positively petrified. I had surgery when I was 17 and actually woke up during the procedure, and could hear & FEEL everything that was going on, but I couldn't open my eyes, make noise or move to let them know I was awake. I've had surgery twice since then with no problems, but I'm scared beyond reason at the thought of having this surgery. I have a pre-op appointment this Thursday, and I called to ask the hospital if I'd have an opportunity to talk with the anesthesiologist during the pre-op appointment. They told me no, I wouldn't talk to him/her until the day of the procedure, at which time I could tell him/her any concerns I had.

Am I being completely irrational to be so scared? And to be afraid of looking stupid to talk to my husband/friends about how I feel? The closer it comes to my surgery date, the more trouble I'm having sleeping and just functioning in general. I HATE this feeling!

Considering your experience, no, you are not being irrational at all. Be sure to discuss this at your pre-op. Let them know your concerns. I wouldn't be afraid to talk about it to DH/friends. You have a legitimate concern given your history. I hope all goes well and that your surgery is successful.

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

If I were you I would talk to my husband about it. It is a very REAL fear and the feelings you have are validated.
I would also discuss it with my doctor. It is possible your anaesthesia needs to be adjusted or it could even be that your anaesthesiaologist took some of the drugs--although somewhat farfetched it happens all the time.

You are NOT being a baby. Get that idea out of your head. You are a normal person with a reasonable fear even more so as you have already experienced this.

Very important to discuss at the very least with your Dr but your husband is your partner and he loves you and he can tell something is wrong so your best bet is to be open with him and share your fears--after all he is the one to comfort you!

Good luck I hope you NEVER have to experience that horrendous feeling again.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Call and discuss with your surgeon. He/She should be able to help w/ your fears. You may need a mild anti-anxiety medication prior to the surgery. Plus, the anxiety you are experiencing could cause you to "fight" the anesthesia, which could make it more difficult to sedate you and make it overall a less than ideal situation.
And no, you're not completely irrational. I have heard of other experiencing similar situations.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I just had surgery and was embarrassed because I was very weepy as they were preparing me for the surgery. The nurses were very nice. I've had a lot of surgery and haven't had an experience like yours, but I was still terrified. I'm not sure why. The nurse told me that it's the people who've had the most surgery who get the most anxious -- even if nothing has ever gone wrong. She said she asked an anesthesiologist why this happens and said the doctor had no explanation, but agreed it was common.

So, don't be embarrassed. You aren't the only one. Like marilynk wrote, you need to call and discuss with your surgeon so that he or she can help you with your anxiety.

I agree with the other posters. Talk with your dr. He should eliminate your fears. I have to say my dad had this experience when he had his heart transplant. He heard them and even mentioned a few things to the drs after the surgery. His drs. were . So this is not uncommon.

He hasn't had the same experience since and he has been under a few times after. Good luck!

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Melanie SAHM to my two wonderful boys! Brandon 9yr & Hayden 6 yr & Spencer 4/20/07

I've been wanting to talk to my husband about this ever since the surgery was scheduled, but didn't want to look like I was whining (he's really a great guy - this is me feeling like this, not that he'd make me feel like this)...I've kind of put on a tough-girl front for my friends and family and inside I'm quaking. Maybe it's time I had a talk with him. My doctor DOES know that I'm terrified, but keeps reassuring me that everything's going to be fine. He almost had me convinced, and then he said something like, "well, now days, the anesthesiologists put an extra drug in there to make sure that if you DO wake up during surgery, you won't remember it afterwards"....and I'm busy thinking to myself, "so I'll be in horrible pain if I wake up and you've got my knee cut open, I just won't remember it after the fact???" That didn't do a lot for my nervousness

I know that with my dad he didn't feel the pain of having his chest/ribs cut open...he only heard what they were talking about.

Obviously this is more common if the dr. said that to you. I would not be happy with him for that info.

It's so hard to eliminate your fears. Since it sounds like your dh is a great guy I would tell him. He probably knows you the best so he would be the one that could help you.

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Melanie SAHM to my two wonderful boys! Brandon 9yr & Hayden 6 yr & Spencer 4/20/07

We recently took a tour of our local Operating Room, and were shown a thing that goes on your forehead, and measures how "deep" of sedation you are in. We were told that in the past, people would wake up from anesthesia and say they remember things, or heard things. This device makes sure you are in a deep enough sedation.

It is perfectly reasonable to be afraid and apprehensive. Try to go about your normal stuff, and before you know it.....it will be a year later and you'll wonder why all the fear.

You should be allowed to speak with someone from anesthesia at your pre-op. If not, ask if you can, and if they still say no, tell them you are extremely anxious and would look a pre-op tranquilizer you can take at home.

My DS had surgery a year ago, and while he was "fine" and said he didn't need anything beforehand, I sure would have liked to have had something. But, I figured I'd better have all my wits about me at that time.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Allianaugust, do you know what that thing is called that goes on your forehead? Was this a really big hospital you toured, or a smaller, community hospital? This sounds really great and is definitely something I'd want to ask about!!

I'm a nurse. Don't sign your anesthesia consent forum until you've spoken to your anesthesiologist. That will assure you get plenty of time with him/her before surgery. And yes, normally patients meet with them pre-op the day of surgery but just tell them you won't sign that sheet until you've had enough time to discuss things. Believe me, that works.

I've had several major surgeries in the past few years and my DD has the biggest scoliosis surgery in our state last year. Please, please, speak to your physician, surgeon, anesthesiologist, anyone involved about your concerns. For each of my surgeries and my DD's, we had a lot of meetings and discussions about our concerns. Knowing EXACTLY what to expect, what's going to happen and when, etc, will really ease your nerves.

My surgeon and my DD's surgeons and specialists were amazed that our blood pressure was so normal, even as we were being wheeled into surgery. We were very at peace with our procedures armed with the knowledge we gained. (and if anyone ever had a reason to be nervous, it was my DD; she now has a beautiful zipper down her entire spine which is supported by 2 rods and 26 screws)

http://www.upstate.edu/uhpated/pdf/bismonitor.pdf

Bispectral Index Monitor

Google it, and read up about it, and by all means write down all of your questions and concerns.

Here is some more information:
Bispectral Index Monitor Installed

May 10, 2002

Seven Rivers Community Hospital has installed a new patient monitoring system recently approved by the Food and Drug Administration that enables anesthesiologists to deliver anesthesia during surgery more precisely than conventional methods such as monitoring heart rate and blood pressure.
The Bispectral Index (BIS) monitor helps anesthesiologists diagnose a patient's individual anesthetic needs, which can vary widely based on such factors as age, weight, and medical history.

"The BIS monitor offers a significant advance in patient care at Seven Rivers Community Hospital," said Robert M. Berger, MD, director of anesthesiology. "Before the BIS, we relied on heart rate and blood pressure to monitor the patient's level of consciousness. Now, physicians can customize the amount of anesthesia a patient receives, which helps to provide better treatment and reduce the problems associated with inadequate anesthesia."

The BIS uses a sensor placed across a patient's forehead to continuously monitor brain waves. The brain waves are computed into a number, ranging from 100 to zero, which correlates with the patient's level of consciousness. With the monitor, anesthesiologists can make adjustments in the amount of anesthetic drugs administered if necessary.

"The installation of the BIS Monitor is another example of our commitment to this community," said Don McKenna, Chief Executive Officer at Sever Rivers. "We are constantly striving to provide our patients with high quality technology, and installing the new monitor strengthens that commitment."


from this link:
Seven Rivers Regional Medical Center - Bispectral Index Monitor Installed

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Totally Agree Talk with the anesthesiologist about your past experience and they will make sure this doesn't happen again.

I had emergency surgery on my leg when I was six months pregnant and started feeling them working on me and even told them right where they were as they were working near the knee. I didn't feel any pain but I was scared to death that I would start to.

I had to have another surgery and was petrified but I will tell you I expressed my concerns and they were excellent giving me something pre-op that was so relaxing they could have told me the world was going to blow up and I would be fine. I beleive it was versat (spelling?). I never heard or felt anything.

I always tell even the dentist that i need a bit more of the anestetic because I think i fight it off or something. My Dad is the same way.

Hope all goes well for you.

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

I think you mean versed.