The events of the past month or so have made me reevaluate my charitable giving. Last night was the straw...

Another case of "I'll do what I want and let someone else pay." I think it was during the Biggest Loser. It was about some food drive, I forget the exact name, and they did a brief interview with a woman who receives food from it for her family of 10 kids. (and a husband). And she is so grateful (sob,sob) for the nice people who donate and help her family.

I just started laughing because we are all such suckers. Here she has 10 kids, get major tax deduction and probably a nice Earned Income Credit (so she gets back more than she pays in taxes, meaning that she is getting money I earned) and all us nice charitable people are giving her food. And I would bet she also gets WIC and food stamps and the kids get free/reduced lunch at school.

So I have decided not to give to charity anymore. If I do give it will be for a specific family or person when I know their situation and am confident they are not taking advantage. I will also continue my giving to medical research causes.

Going forward I am taking care of me and mine. You take care of you and yours.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

You have to do what is right for you. I no longer donate to any organizations either. I want to know EXACTLY where my donation is going and who it is going too. I help families locally I KNOW need help...not ones milking the system.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I caught most of that commercial last night, too. Definitely caused me to go "Hhmmmmm!"

That said - the charities that I've chosen to help in the past are probably the most hardest hit in this economy, as many families cut back on their charitable giving. Those served from groups such as "The Humane Society" and "The Heifer Project International" are not in the position to actually take advantage of me/my giving, and never were.

I do think it's time to re-evaluate how our money is spent. And that commercial last night didn't have the desired effect on either you or me...

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

Unless the criteria has changed: WIC is only for pregnant(and/or lactating) women and children up to the age of 5 y/o.

I'm a bit less stressed over WIC--states receive a large subsidy from the food manufactures for WIC (hence why you can only get certain brands of formula on WIC, and cereals...)

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Wasn't that the Sowell family or something? I saw that too, and neither of those adults looked helpless. They need to go get a job at McDonalds or something.. whatever they can until they can get something better. The problem here is that in many cases it's more profitable for people *NOT* to work. If they work, then their benefits will be stripped and they don't have enough to get all the stuff they get while they are receiving assistance. It really pisses me off to see someone perfectly capable of earning their own money choose to be unemployed because it pays more.

And don't get me started on people who would rather have surgery (on Workers Comp) rather than go back to work....

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I changed the way I handle donations, too. I try to donate more to agencies where the clients really can't help themselves. I have given much more to family and friends, too.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

This pass weekend was Scouting for food for us. I was really shocked to see how little was collected for the food banks. But I totally understand why people are donating less and why they have had a change in heart when they do.

You have to do what is right for you and your family as far as charitable donations, but without knowing the WHOLE STORY about this family, I don't think anyone should not judge them. I did not see the commercial so I don't know what kind of information was given about the family.

I volunteer a lot and have heard and seen so many different situations where working parents with decent jobs can not make ends meets for many legitimate reasons. Just because someone has many children, does not mean they are trying to take advantage of the system. With the economy the way it is and some families living paycheck to paycheck as it is, if one or both parents lose their jobs, it could spell financial disaster for the family very quickly.

That being said, there are people who take advantage of the system and give those who legitimately need and get assistnace a bad name.

You echo my thoughts. I've wondered when I do give food, hba, etc to several local organizations (I try to rotate and tailor the goods to what they are trying to do) if indeed, I am simply enabling.

I grew up in a large family myself, saw my mom struggle, and yet she never, ever sought out any type of assistance. She never donated either, because she couldn't as I look back.

I have tried to do what I can, where I can, and when I can. I don't always believe that everyone is in need and I do think there are some great stories where people get sucked in.

It irritates every body oriface on me when I have people come to where I work, have gotten county assitance, and yet have the newest phone, professional nails, 3 colors in their hair, tattoos, name brand clothes, and have a car as nice as mine, or nicer. And yet my boss has to then provide for what the county pays.

I think the guidelines and policies are just severly lacking in many cases both in our government agencies, and the local organizations. I also am sick and tired of social workers out to save the world and give everything away. I am sure they wouldn't want me giving their paycheck away. Flame away, I know there are decent social workers, but I am experiencing far too many that are too quick to give away other's good, services and money.

dl

I am also drastically cutting back on donating $ to the charity orgs these days.

You have to be careful even when giving to 'reputable' charities - I also am a supporter of the humane society...well, we had a "Colorado Humane Society" that fraudulently collected MILLIONS for years, even 3 or 4 years after their charity license was suspended! The family running the place were a bunch of greedy bloodsuckers who kept a donated car for themselves, used expired vaccinations on the animals they adopted out, and threw the euthanized animals in the trash. They weren't actually part of the 'real' legitimate humane society. That happens a lot. Very sad to see the $ wasted and the greedy ones profiting.

I donate, but only if I know where the donation is going to go. I don't understand why people breed like rats and then my tax money supports them. We have only two kids. We had what "we" could afford, not what we would get free if we had them. Before I give to charity, I will give to my neighbors or even my own family who are having a rough time. They appreciate it and don't feel that there will something there next month also.

I work (volunteer!) for a local nonprofit. 100% of our donations go straight into the expenses of running our organization. We have one paid employee (the Executive Director). The rest of our 230 worker bees are volunteers... We are truly a grassroots organization.

I think the key is to donate to a local charity as you can more likely guarantee that money is going right back into the organization.

Another key is to donate your time... then you know that it's going straight into the charity.

It's rough right now for nonprofits -- especially the non-subsidized ones.

>>>So I have decided not to give to charity anymore. If I do give it will be for a specific family or person when I know their situation and am confident they are not taking advantage.<<<

That is how we've always done our charitable donations for decades, and done it anonymously. (left money in mailboxes, etc.)

Personally, no matter how altruistic and above board a charity may be, there are always admin costs, and I have too much to keep track of in my own life to try and keep up with who may or not be above board.

When we know of a specific fam or organization we've dealt in the past that has needs, that's the place we share with.

All you have to do is look in your own neighborhoods to find folks who need help. Though I am not Catholic, I remember something that Mother Theresa said about this and have taken it to heart.

Don't the Girl Scouts teach kids to *act locally, think globally*? No matter how we think, how we act defines who we are.

Our only exception to that rule is a private orphanage, not an NGO, not a gov't run orphanage, in another country where we've had personal relationships with those in charge , and seen the good they do. It *is* an orphanage w/a religious affiliation other than our beliefs, but the work they've done has proved to us their hearts don't care about religion, but do care about kids.

MZ

I'm willing to bet that someone tells me that I'm kidding myself but I have consolidated some of my giving to payroll deductions to the United Way. I can choose the charity and I choose my DSs' high school. They get 100% of my allocation, I know that because I get a thank you note for that amount. My company matches employee pledges - that part I don't get to chose where it goes - but that's not my money.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

>>>Another key is to donate your time... then you know that it's going straight into the charity.<<<


Ding, ding, ding, ding!
Give that person a Cupie Doll. (does that terribly date moi? ;-)
Nothing is as valuable to charities as your time because it means they have less expenses.
MZ

I know of people that will turn down raises and better job opportunities because they want the govt's help. These are also the one's that buy Pepsi and Snicker's while I am cutting coupons, eating leftovers, using generic brands etc...The same people buy $45 saltwater fish for one stinking fish. They also buy their kids whatever they want ,let the creditors wait and then file bankruptcy or forclose on their home.

Exactly.

CJ I have seen 1st hand what our local UW does for families here. It's awesome ! At Christmas they do the ( good lord I'm having another senior moment here ) but the program that gifts present to families .you know what I'm meaning right ?. They also give checks for people that can't afford lights, gas or water. As a Den Leader with her hands in with having to point family in need to places that can help ( I work really close with our Cub Master ) I have sent them to the UW here and been told they helped that family, so I do know they do help . I think it's a great org and I don't mind giving to them when they do their drives.

I don't mind doing the food/toiletry drives-we always have so many extra goods that I have gotten for free. I do think that sets a good example for our kids-especially when it is a school-sponsored event. My policy @Christmastime is to give a buck to each bell-ringer I pass by-really, it might equal $20 at the end of the season. I will be supporting a few of the head-shavers this year, as they supported me last year for St. Baldricks, but other than that, I just don't have the cash to give. I had one police officer call right before Thanksgiving. They were asking for $$ to buy groceries for people in need. Since I had just stocked up on triple coupon items, I told him that I could not donate $$, but would be happy to donate a couple of bags of groceries (what I had in mind probably would have been about $30 retail). Nope, they didn't want it. No drop off location, no nothing-they were just collecting money to probably go buy groceries at full retail price. I did receive another call last week asking for a donation for benefits for the families of fallen police officers. He was obviously a paid solicitor, and was such an ass. I thanked him for his call and told him there was no extra $$ in the budget this year (we have given before). He then started in w/ his guilt trip line, and the way he worded it was pretty offensive. While I so appreciate the duties of our police officers, I wonder, at the end of the day, how much they really do receive from these paid solicitors. I would just rather give directly. Even though times are tough for a lot of us, we can still give where it makes a difference. I just think a lot of us are getting smarter w/ our choices.

Linny funny thing you posted that. Our local new channel did a report about 6 + months ago about getting calls to donate to fallen police officers.The report said that there's a fund already set for their families ( I'm guessing by the State which I live in ) that helps them and that they don't call asking for donations of money. That if anyone receives a call asking for money to hang up or call the DA's office it was a scam. Oddest thing about that report, just that morning I get a call asking for money and I told them there was no extra money to give. The man went on to say well you know they place their life on the line for us BLAHBLAHBLAH, I told he sure I understood this as my grandfather served 32 years on the force and my son-in-law worked for the sheriffs office for 18 months thats when he hung up on me . I took it as he knew I wasn't going to give and he was wasting his time with asking me over and over, Never would have dreamed it was a scam to get money from us. So be careful if you get another call like that it might be a scam there also.

If you don't want to give that is fine but I don't get this "I'll take care of me and mine and you take care of you and yours". EVERYONE has needed or will need help at one time or another.

I am not saying these people don't put a bad face on it and I am not saying that there aren't people with a sense of entitlement who think the world owes them.

All I am saying is don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Lots of hardworking and deserving people go to food banks.

I will continue to give when and where I can.

When you give a gift you don't JUDGE how it is used.


Remember "whatsoever you do for the least of my brothers that you do unto me" Jesus said that.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I haven't seen this story, but did they give background on the family?

I refuse to judge a family for having 10 kids and receiving help without knowing the facts. When they had the 10 kids they could have been able to afford them, and thought they had things handled. If they have worked over the years and have paid into the system then they deserve the benefits given to them. If you have two families side by side suffering the same ways due to the economy, one has 2-3 kids and the other has 5 or more, is it fair to judge the larger family more harshly?

Like I said before I don't know the aspects of this particular family.....

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Nicole

Personally, we donate to our son's school food drive because I can always squeeze more out of what I have and I shop smart. I think it sets a good example for my son. We also donate to a local organization called the Alliance for Children. It removes kids from abusive situations and places them with another family during the investigation and often (although not often enough in my opinion) the children are never returned. Many times, these kids are removed in the middle of the night or taken with only the clothes on their backs. The Alliance gives school-aged children backpacks, school supplies, clothes, toiletries, etc. so they can be prepared at their new homes/schools. Smaller kids might be supplied with a few toys, formula, diapers, clothes, etc. so the family taking care of them is prepared. The other charities that I support are St. Jude's Children's Hospital and the Shriners. I pray that I will never need them, but certainly appreciate what they do.

I used to donate to everyone, but I've had to take a look at that, too. It does steam me to see MY hard-earned money going to people who will not help themselves (not talking about those who can't help themselves).

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Kim

I understand all of this... but I don't believe it applies to the OP.

None of us give gifts completely indiscriminately. If you witness waste in a particular charity, it's not, IMHO, wrong to stop giving to that particular charity. In fact, I'd say that I need to be a good steward of the things I've been given and do my best to make sure that I give in ways that are impactive. Otherwise, as the good book also says, I'm throwing pearls before swine and working hard for something that is neither appreciated or productive.

That's not being judgmental of 'the least of my brothers'. It's trying to ensure that those who are *truly* the least are blessed. Someone who is mooching off the system like Octomom is NOT the least. I think this passage from 2 Thessalonians 3 applies more to her than a designation as "the least"...

Was this story part of the Biggest Loser? I was trying to find more info on it......but not having any luck.......

Once again, I will say I don't have the details, but would this family have been as harshly judged if we didn't have the octomom situation going on right now?

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Nicole

I would like to know why all of these people that are getting welfare - and housing - aren't able to give back anything in their community-- an example - my daughter's high school went down and cleaned up the courtyard of the housing project -- give me a break these people living there for free - on food stamps - WIC- and free schooling - can't get up off there bum s and go clean up their yard??????????????? You never see them volunteering - and they have nothing but time - yet they expect people to provide, for them clean up after them, tutor their children enough is enough

I understand completely what you are saying. What I have learned over the years is that some of these people live by example. Heck, people in general, live by example. If they haven't seen their family or friends offering a lending hand, they are less likely to do it themselves. While it is incredibly frustrating, I try to lead by example, and hope that somewhere along the line, I can plant a seed that will grow later. It's frustrating.....

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

You are exactly right.. it's a neverending cycle. Kids see their families grow up with welfare and just assume that it's part of life. One of the problems we have here is unwed mothers on medicaid and welfare. Come to find out that in many cases, they do have a partner but refuse to get married because the combined income would put them over the limit for assistance. So they are actually living in a house with baby daddy, making adequate money, but by not being married they can apply for/receive assistance because technically they're single.

Oh my gosh, this totally reminds me of a "volunteer day" an employer of mine made us do one time. We had to go to a "needy" neighborhood and clean up yards, weed, plant flowers and paint a few houses. All these people in the neighborhood, including very able-bodied high school aged kids, sat around and WATCHED us work.

I agree connie, get your butt off that couch on your porch and clean up your yard.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

I may be wrong about this, because I only half listened to this part of the program, but I was under the impression that it was part of the biggest loser club. People sign up and log their weight loss online--then somebody or a sponsor donates 1 pound of food for every pound lost by people who sign up for the program.

Thanks......CScout


I found this following links through The Biggest Loser website, was this the story?

Gloria

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Nicole

I didn't realize there was a scam going on in reference to these calls (as per another post) but none the less I realize that the families of fallen police officers are fairly well taken care of through police benefits as well as the social security survivors benefits. So I get rather perturbed (putting it mildly) when I get these same calls. My answer to them is when they solicit funds benefiting the families of our thousands of military people who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom then I'll contribute.

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Barb


My GOD Bless our Country and our Troops, and rid the World of terroists.

Families of fallen soldiers are pretty well taken care of also(as long as they have their affairs in order), those who (in my eyes) really need help are the families and soldiers who have been wounded, even full disability to me is not enough.

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Nicole