I posted a while ago about the death of my brother and asked for advice on how to handle the situation regarding an estate and money owned to the IRS. I received some great advice, as well as some very judgemental words. I appreciated all comments.
I have recieved one of the life insurance checks and it was made out to my brothers estate. This check is all that he had in his name and I am in the process of setting up an estate with a lawyer, although the only thing in his estate will be the one check. The lawyer will get his share, I will get reimbursed for the funeral expenses, and then the IRS will get the remaining amount. Because his girlfriend who passed before him was listed as the beneficiary on the policy, the check had to go into his estate, which meant that left the amount open to all creditors. I wish that he had named his girlfriends son (that he helped raise) as the contingent.
He also had another policy, and I was the heir of law on the check from the other policy. The IRS cannot attach this check, as it is not part of his estate. I feel that I am finally on the way to settling this very stressful time. This process has taught me several very good lessons...have an updated will, make sure your life insurance policy has a contingent named, and try not to piss off the IRS.

glad it's almost done for you. I agree with your last words. Too many people put updating wills and life insurance "on the back burner" and then never get to it. I would also add that if someone has an elderly or very ill parent/grandparent, it can sometimes be a good idea for them to add a child/executor to their bank account. Then, in case of emergency, the child/executor has the money to use and it doesn't have to go through all the pain the other stuff does. My grandpa started "gifting" us money before he died so it wouldn't get lost in taxes.

thanks you for sharing

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I like this method also. So much of an estate gets tied up in legal mumbo-jumbo and nobody benefits from that. A living estate is a wonderful tool.

We just got our mess straightened out with the IRS from my Dad's death in almost 2 years ago. It took a lot longer than I thought and the irs was actually a lot more helpful than I expected, very unorganized, but friendly and helpful. Write down every name and ID number you talk to and keep a log if you talk to the yourself. Photocopy anything you send them becuase they lost a huge envelope of receipts and documents pertaining to my dad's estate, luckily I had everything but not as organized as when I mailed it in so I had to redo everything. And if you don't get someone who knows what's going on or you aren't happy with an answer you get, call back and get someone else. Some of them were really great and some were clueless, it just depended on the luck of the call.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer