Well, I think it was very bad judgment, but maybe need to try to be more objective.

My husband has two sisters; one with a daughter and the other has no children, and probably will never have children. "The aunt" is definitely closer with the one niece than my three children. A few months back, grandma passes away; this is my husband's mother. While back home for the funeral, we learn that the one niece had just the day before got a Wii from Aunt, who said that it was a gift from grandma and her; no special occasion. I believe this gift was a special gift to soothe the niece's grieving of losing grandma. I should clarify that the niece lived in same town as grandma, but my family lives in another state, but still close to grandma. Anyway, I was glad that my kids did not make a big deal of this, as they were probably wondering why grandma got her a gift for no special occasion, but they got nothing.
In my opinion, grandma really had nothing to do with this; aunt didn't want to look like she was spending all that money on niece herself. But, by involving grandma, I don't think she realized that she set up the scenario that grandma spent a lot of money on one grandchild, and left out the others.

Nothing was ever mentioned about this, but I think it was very poor judgment and lack of common sense. Should anything ever be mentioned or just let it go?

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

You said it was a few months back so life has gone on. You don't know the level of closeness between the child and her grandmother and aunt since they did live in the same town..and you don't know if the grandmother did say to get the child something.

Unless you know what you want to accomplish by saying something...let it go because I don't see what good can come out of it

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

I would say let it go.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Sigh. Let it go. This is a perfect example of why so many people have problems with their families and in-laws.

Your mother-in-law was entitled to spend her money any way she saw fit. Perhaps she spent a lot of money on one grandchild and left out the others because she felt that child needed it more right then. Perhaps she liked that grandchild better. Perhaps she liked that grandchild's parent better. Perhaps she bought a special prize for one child just to be nice. Perhaps she didn't buy anything and the aunt just said the gift came from Grandma. It doesn't really matter what her motivation was because it's absolutely none of your business!

I'm curious as to how you plan to call down anyone for Grandma for not evening up her gifts to your satisfaction. Are you going to attempt to guilt someone into buying your children something by explaining how hurt they are by Grandma's negligence? Are you seriously thinking of telling your in-laws that you don't appreciate them buying anyone else a gift unless your children each receive a comparable present and that next time, they better head to the post office to mail your out of state children a like gift?

Either approach would take unbelievable gall, as well as provide a very good reason for your husband's family to avoid you and your family entirely. Do you know what the saddest part of that would be? You would never even understand that you were completely to blame for the rift and would actually believe that the estrangement was their fault!

Suezz is right; no good can come of this. Your husband's mother is dead. I don't think she showed very poor judgment and lack of common sense at all but I think by even considering starting a needless family drama with your in-laws over something their dead mother did that was none of your business, you are showing both.
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This is really good advice....know what you want before taking action on this or any other matter that might involve confrontation. Getting clear on that may help you find the right answer.

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

LET IT GO!
Grandmother is dead---she can't defend or substantiate or refute anything at this point in time.
and what good would come out of "confronting" the Auntie in question?

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Do YOUR kids feel slighted?

When I was a child, I had one girl cousin (and several boys). My grandmother always gave us all $20 each for Christmas. My aunt started asking that my grandmother give her the $20 ahead of time so she could just buy gifts for the kids and have them be from grandmother so they would have something fun to open (rather than cash, which admittedly has a different feel than a toy)...

But the aunt would find $40 items, kick in the extra it took to buy them, leave the pricetags on, and let us see the gifts 'grandmother' had gotten for her kids.

Imagine how my brother and I felt all those years, thinking my grandmother took the time to go shopping for the cousins and spend $40 each on them, while just throwing a little bit of cash at us. It wasn't until I was an adult that we learned what was going on.

If I were you, if your KIDS know what happened with the Wii, I would 'presume' a story and share it with them. "Presume" a story in which no favoritism was shown. Either grandma died before she could figure out what THEY wanted.... or the aunt saw the cousin so sad and tried to figure out a way to help her feel better and just wasn't thinking about other kids she couldn't see who might ALSO be sad, etc.

If your kids DON'T know.... I'd not ever bring it up.

Let it go -- your life will be ultimately easier and more enjoyable if you do.

My MIL is very biased towards my SIL's kids over my kids in many obvious ways. So much so that my kids (who are usually oblivious to things like that), have noticed and asked about things on several occasions. I tell them I don't know and they'll have to ask grandma. It used to bother me a lot, but I've learned to just take a deep breath and let it go.

FWIW, we live close to MIL & FIL so we see them a few times a month, SIL lives 600 miles away. My kids are boys, ages 6 & 9, SIL's kids are girls ages newborn and 3.

Sounds like poor judgement, but there may be more to the story. I wouldn't say anything though.

Rebecca

MYOB. The only poor judgment would be saying something.

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Reading is Fundamental.

I would not say anything,either. I deal with the type of thing often, as well. All it does is get you upset, and could hurt your children, which I'm sure you don't want to do.

This is the type of relationship that the "aunt" is choosing to have with your children. They will realize this as they get older, with no help from you. These things just show themselves, trust me.

I choose to focus on my immediate family, and those that choose to not be so much of a part of it, well, that's their loss.

HTH.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

MYOB great answer.

I totally agree - this is just going to start trouble. What DO you hope to accomplish by saying something to her family? Do you think they'll offer to go buy your kids some WiFis because the grandmother didn't? Her children are grieving the death of their mother. Do you think they want to hear you criticize her? How could telling her children that you're upset that their dead mother didn't give your children as good a present as she gave their child be a good idea? Good God woman, do you know how greedy and petty that sounds?

Let it go - if you confront your SIL about dear departed grandma's gift you could easily be cast as the villain of the family...