1. Drop off the barking neighbor dog in a field that is far far away.

2. Stick maxipads all over the car of __________ , who has perpetual PMS.

3. Send an anonymous letter to my ex-boss telling her that everyone talked about how bad she smelled when she left the room.

Buy a small gun and shoot the stupid barking dog that lives behind me and all the stupid rabbits that eat my plants!

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

draw attention to a common denominator among MANY of the vocal Obama supporters found here at mycoupons.

but I'm not, so I won't!
X

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Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

If I was evil, I might...

Blow dandelion seeds into my lawn-obsessed neighbor's yard.

Wow, I can't think of more than one, I must not be trying hard enough.

Renee

Go around dropping dog poop on lawns of people who let their dogs poop in my yard

Go around people I know who make really bad financial choices and show off all the things I bought on sale while eating a lobster tail.

Say "how about another piece of pie" when people complain about not being able to wear a bathing suit.

Drive really really slow when idiots are on my tail (oh yeah I already do that!)

I have others but I will refrain from listing them here so that Homeland Security, the CIA and FBI don't come a knocking.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

wet and freeze my sisters underwear. oh, sorry. i already did that!

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·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·
«·´¨*·.¸¸. Jo ¸¸.·*¨`·»
«·´`·.(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸).·´`·»


Please leave feedback for me here.
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gretchengirl@gmail.com

http://lifewithlittlejo.blogspot.com/

Lace my trash with chicken bones dipped in bleach and dark chocolate, so the next time the neighbor’s dog decides to take a dip inside there will be a very special treat for him.

Tell my MIL and FIL what I really think of them.

Destroy my washer and dryer and tell my DH that they just broke and we need to buy new ones!

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You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

Wow, I thought of that one today too. I think I must have MAJOR PMS today!!!

Tell complainers if they don't like the company, then leave!

I'm raising my hand, because I really did this one. I was young, probably about 10 and we had this neighbor 3 doors down who was completely obnoxious about his yard and was terrible. I only saw him smile 1 time, in about the 10 years he lived there. Man, now I wish my yard looked like his.

If I was evil, I would not hold my tongue and I would tell everyone EXACTLY what I thought of them, but I'm not, so I don't... I still think about it occasionally though!

I've already done it...HEEHEE!!!!

1. Un-introduce my brother to my next-door neighbor because now that they are dating I can't shoot her stupid, non-stop barking dogs that drive me crazy everyday and night!

2. Invite all the 5th grade boys that are mean to my son over to my house and be just as mean to them or just hang them all upside down until they look like smurfs.

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Mommy to three wonderful boys, Justin (11), Nicholas (9) and Scottie (8)

Tell my DH what I really think of the new glasses he bought.

Tell a certain someone to just SHUT UP with the complains of a situaiton she created and she still lives with--- her choice so deal with it! <<ugh>>

and if I was truly evil I would move away to Alaska just to get away from everybody...

( op this is a good venting thread )

Fill my grocery cart with stuff and walk out without paying

flip off a driver in front of me who did not turn on the green light and then flipped me off when I beeped..oh, wait, I did do that !

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Live, Love, Laugh

mkjn, I like how you think. I'm room mom, and when I find out one of the kids is not so nice to my son I tell him they're getting spit cookies at the next class party.

call all of the claimant attorneys I am forced to deal with and tell them that they are *WHY* attorneys have such a bad name.

call up my friend's soon to be ex-wife and tell her that yeah, he and I really did have an affair--of course sex over the internet and while he was in Iraq was difficult but we managed!(we really didn't)

call up my in-laws and tell them what I really think of them and their son---and while I was at, tell H (one more time) that I don't love him and the only reason I stay is pity and fear, oh and he has a little penis!

oh....and, oh wait--I did that one already and got a verbal reprimand for it!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Oh man, you don't know how many times I've thought about doing that!!!

Tell my nosy, condescending brother that they only reason he's so concerned with everybody else's lives, is because his sucks! He has a stressful, sucky job, his wife is a fat b*tch, and his son is borderline retarted! Oh yeah, and that big new house they bought looks really crappy with all that kitschy decor they insist on putting everywhere! (Ahhhh. . .that felt good!)

Feed a ton of leftover Easter chocolate to the neighbors pitbull that gets out all the time and terrorizes the neighborhood. (She's already been labeled "viscious") Oh yeah. . .and then breed the dumb neighbor non-stop like she does that poor dog!

I'm sure I have more. . .I'm in one of those moods today.

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"No one believes more firmly than Comrade Napoleon that all animals are equal. He would be only too happy to let you make your decisions for yourselves. But sometimes you might make the wrong decisions, comrades, and then where should we be?"
- George Orwell Animal Farm

Marilyn,
I'm sorry for your hardship and hope things get better soon for you.

1. find my ex husband and kick him in the nuts for all the stress, aggrevation and hurt he has caused me and my dd.

2. find his gf and punch her in her saggy boobs. See above.......

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"It's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity."

ok I will play if I was evil , I would love to right a couple of comments on facebook towards my sister in laws , sister in law who is married to my sister in laws brother. Long story short I like facebook I do not love it. I do not have the time to constantly update it every 5 minutes and seriously who needs to know what someone is doing every 5 minutes. This particular lady does this all day while at work, while at home while taking caring of her kids. I wrote once and said this is not what I thought it would be and who needs to know what someone is doing every 5 minutes. She wrote back some people like to know what their friends or family is doing. Okay so that is not the big issue with her to if I could I would write on facebook for her to read, who wants to hear how many times your a rockstar , who wants to see pictures of you and your pals drunk all the time, who wants to hear I am not feeling so good, another hangover, who wants to hear thirsty thrusday time to start drinking.... I am getting close to doing so . I guess this post was truly good to let alot of us vent about issues... CAtherine

Me like!

How about if I was really evil, I would make all those dumb cashiers that don't know the first thing about coupons and how they work, ring up each item individually,as their own transaction so that will be "only one coupon per item, means you can only use one coupon." And then I would say,"Oh wait I forgot toilet paper. I really need it. I'll be right back." and then mosey around the store for about 10mins. After which, I would pay for each transaction with pennies, that I would have to painstakingly dig out of the bottom of my purse. . .one at a time!

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"No one believes more firmly than Comrade Napoleon that all animals are equal. He would be only too happy to let you make your decisions for yourselves. But sometimes you might make the wrong decisions, comrades, and then where should we be?"
- George Orwell Animal Farm

Sorry to all the ladies here who have problems with their marriages I am so sorry to hear that and glad you may vent some feelings and thoughts here. To Hambirg I love what you wrote about the cashiers and as I call them the coupon cops. literally you would think the money was coming out of their pocket, especially when your an adult and you have a 17 year trying to read the coupon rules to you........Or better yet the people behind you or get so annoyed at how many coupons I have. I have at times told some people when you start paying my bills I will stop using coupons and then I say not, never , ever..... Peace to all . Catherine

LOVE it! I'll do this too!

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~~~~~~~~~~

Kristee
Kritter0114@aol.com

"Hold on, let me check....YES! I do have a coupon for that!"

If I was evil I might

Say what I REALLY think to people

but I'm not, so I won't.

Gosh, I can't ever even think aof being mean in any way to a child or animal...no matter what.

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

If I was evil I might.........KILL MY DD'S EX-BOYFRIEND!!!!

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

I might go around stealing plants out of peoples' yards.

I might slap a brat on the butt or tell them what's what.

I might steal peoples' neglected and mistreated animals and give them to people who care.

I might poke holes in the crappy food in the store so people won't feed it to their children.

I might lie cheat and steal.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

#1 I would let my former boss know what I think of his management style. He was so busy with the kiss butt male of the group that he ignored us women and we did all the work.

#2 Tell my prissy witchy stuck up whore of a sister - and we get along nicely - what I think of her. Her and her husband play keep up with the Jones and are in debt way over their heads. I am tired of listening of how tough her life is. They have 2 children the daughter is the spoiled princess and gets everything she wants. The son is a dear that gets ignored and has to work for whatever he wants.

Dang it its raining I'm witchy and I feel the need to TP someone with really weak paper.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

Lordy be, some of you ladies have a wicked side!

....I would send someone a box of dog doo in the mail, all wrapped up pretty......

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

not always in this rotten mood but today...
tell my dh I'm tired of being wifey I want a divorce]
tell rest of the world to kiss my a@@!!!!

lets hope we're all in better moods this next week

take the crossing guard's stop sign and beat the pulp out of her. She's such a witch.
Hunt down my ex's mom and beat the sh#t out of her. She was an evil witch and made my life miserable for 2.5 yrs.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

HAHA! Beat the sh*t out of an evil witch! That reminds me, I know an evil witch that needs the sh*t beat out of her too! Thanks for reminding me!

Wow....I'm glad you all aren't mean

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Mudpuppy

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain

I might tell my good friend that her DD is an absolute brat and says mean hurtful things when she isn't around. Her little perfect princess is a controlling, mean little 7 year old who needs a good talking to.

Whew, I feel better.

BTW, this is a great topic and is very stress relieving.

What is with these MEAN girls at such a young age? My daughter refuses to wear shorts or skorts to school(and it is going to 100 this week) because some girl told her her legs are hairy. I really dislike this girl and wonder what her parents are like. She is always in trouble for being mean to others. I have had to talk to teacher a few times. I have the shy, quiet , sweet girl that would never say anything mean(she hates to get into trouble) but her older brother told her the next time she says you have hairy legs you tell her "not as hairy as your face". I thought it was perfect but I know she would never do it. I hope she learns to stick up for hersellf before Jr High(those girls can be brutal). LOL

My dd refuses to take applesauce to school because some stupid boy told her it's baby food. Thanks kid, one less food I have to work into lunches.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

Sadly and I say sadly little girls form this crowd of best friends from the earliest age.From working with little kids for a long time and from having 2 daughtes myself I know how mean sometimes little girls can be. I truly do not using the word mean, because at 5 or even 6 or even 7 years they truly do not fully understand the true concept of it all. For instance at the presence time in our class right now we only have 16 kids and there are 11 boys and 5 girls. Honestly not a real good mix, but we did have 3 other girls, but over the course of the school year they moved because it became too hard financially to live here in New York. Anyway out of the 5 girls one girl who is a true angel sits alone at the end of the table all by herself. She is very quite and keeps to herself, while the others are playing. I try my best to talk to her so that she does not feel left out. Sad. Peace. Catherine

If I were mean:

I would scoop up all the dog poop from my yard that the neighbors dog has left and put it at their front step so when they walk out their door they get to step in and not me. This dog crosses 5 acres of woods to come go in my yard and the owners just open the door and let it out alone then run up and down my street screaming the dogs name because they weren't paying attention and they lost it.


Tell a certain person where they can stuff their superior attitude and that contrary to what she thinks no everyone really does not love her to death and yes we would survive life without her at work.

Smack my DH back down to earth when his ego starts to get out of hand.

Honestly if you choose to walk your dog in the public streets, as a responsible pet owner it is plain rude not to pick up after your pet. It happens to us all the time, we have a long long driveway and I cannot count the times I drive my car to the end and get out and see other people's dog poop all over plain rude and not very nice at all. Peace. Catherine

OH my, this is a HILARIOUS thread.

Let's see, if I was really evil, I would.......

- tell off my inlaws and let them know how hypocritical and sucky they are. Not all of them, but, a good 99% of them.

- tell DH's cousin that high school is LONNNNGGG over honey, and you ain't the homecoming queen any more.

that's all I can think of right now Hmmmm, wonder if they read here???

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

YES!!! I have one like that too....it's like OMG!!!! I think the only reason this person is even ON facebook is to post pictures of her "mansion" of a house and her "adorable" family, and all the "block parties" they have. Yay, you have a great life....who you trying to convince?? Us or you (her, not you ILL).

Ah, yes, very therapeutic OP.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

If I was really evil I would call up the crazy, psycho lady that keeps texting and leaving me voice mails about how "he's already got a woman that sleeps next to him every night. . and that if I really want I can just keep his cheating azz." I would tell her. . .YOU GOT THE WRONG FRIGGIN NUMBER! Besides, why the heck are you calling who you think is the woman cheating with your man anyway? Take it up with your cheating man!!! And oh yeah, can I get your man's number? He sounds like a real peach. . .and I could use some sexxxaaaay time.

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"No one believes more firmly than Comrade Napoleon that all animals are equal. He would be only too happy to let you make your decisions for yourselves. But sometimes you might make the wrong decisions, comrades, and then where should we be?"
- George Orwell Animal Farm

If I were evil, I would tell my older sister exactly why she can't find a good man after being married 6 times and continuing to look in the same places for someone to love. I would also tell her to kiss off when she calls me and asks me to fill out job applications online for her when the public library is open every day and she could use the computers there.

If I were evil, I would scream at my mean neighbors who shoot fireworks at my house, then I'd throw rotten fruit at them and their house.

If I were evil, I would tell people who ask, "what do you do all day?" that I am a private investigator and I have been following them around...and I know what THEY have been doing all day. Maybe then they'd shut up and mind their own business.

...but I'm not, so I won't.

Give the back pain I have to every doctor I saw when I was a kid and who told me it was growing pains. Then I'd sit there and laugh at them.

Steal the cat that is owned by the idiots that live behind me and give it a good life. As far as we can tell they don't feed it and they let it hobble around the neighborhood on an injured leg for several weeks. It did get better on its own and currently we're feeding it.

Tell my neices and nephew what a jerk their father is. Oh wait, I did that.

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Allinaugust this particular lady I am talking about again, her choice to totally get drunk everynite if you want too. However again she has 2 small little girls, I have thought and said to my dh who thinks facebook is waste btw. Anyway we have discussed this and fear what if one day or night one of her little girls get sick real sick. What if they have to drive to an emergency room, they are totally drunk, her , my sister in laws brother and all their friends. How terribly dangerous and then having to walk into an emergency room so drunk and make important decisions with all the questions and papers you could fill out.... Again I am tempted even my sister in law knows this and has admitted that this particular lady should not be righting all this on facebook for so many people to see. I always say life is about choices, but not at the risk of my children or innocent lives if god forbid they get behind the wheel of a vehicle. Which btw she does write going out for an extremely late pick=up need more beer.. Crazy I know.. Agreed great post. Peace. Catherine

too funny! Thanks for the chuckle.

ILL, please...stop being so judgemental. Haven't we both learned by now? It's not cool to be that way. You can't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. ~Lisa

Lisa with all due respect and you know I value our friendship here at the cafe, however I stand firm, I have spoken many times on how I feel about drinking alcohol or smoking or any illegial drugs. Also I have stated before life is all about choices and if you make those choices you must live with them you and only you. Now Lisa with all that being said she is posting like every minute literally and then when nite time comes and all she and her dh do is post about how much they are drinking and they post so many pictures of them drinking and getting more drunk. Then of course the next day comes and then you will see we feel so sick, what a hangover I cannot go to work I cannot get out of bed. Lisa they have 2 little girls one 9 one 4. I am sorry Lisa but its wrong, if they did not have little girls to worry about Honestly again I could care less. I worry about those little girls.I know them personally they are my sister in laws nieces. So with again all due respect I am not judging on this one this is off true concern for those little girls and the safety of people who may be out their driving when they decide they need to make a late nite run for yet more alcohol... Sorry you do not realize the importance of my concern. Peace. Catherine

I think Lisa's reply ILL was more of a tongue in cheek ( facetiously ). I don't want to speak for her, but I do think thats what she meant.