I have 3 girlfriends that I love spending time with. They have kids my dd age so when we are social it is all of us. We have a family that has two kids, exaclty the same age as dd&ds, and us two families get togather some times. My problem is this, all of these kids bug the crap out of me, behavior wise, and I'm unable to be around these kids and keep my mouth shut.The one teenage boy is SO rude/demanding to his mom and very lazy, to make matters worse this big kid is a super picky eater, his sister is too-I understand that my friend raised her kids like this...but at what age are you expected to act right? The other kids I mentioned at first, fall into the same catagories- picky and mouthy.
OK, my kids are not perfect, but they are not picky-because I wouldn't put up with that for a second!! they are not rude to me and they understand that there is a food chain in life and there is a difference between kids and adults, during conversastions my kids do not interrupt and as far as laying around demanding that I wait on them---ha! that's funny!
Whew! my question is do you not spend time with adults you enjoy because their kids are too much??
I know someone will say have adult time alone, great plan, I'm just curious about others feelings and if they are able to not let their distaste show..
-J

__________________
Love, J.

First off, I don't have kids. I wanted to say though.. that my EX was/is like your friends kids. Well, not a picky eater.. but he was rude to his Mom and he laid around demanding her do this and that and worst part.. she did those things! When she was on the phone talking, he didn't care he would yell "MOM!!". I tried correcting him about all this. I said look E. It's rude when you interrupt your parents on the phone, or when they are talking to their friends.. wait until she's finished.. unless something is on fire, or someone is bleeding!
His Mom over heard me and she got MAD that I was trying to teach him how to act like an adult and have manners! :rollseyes:

I feel for you, it's not fun when kids act that way and take all the attention, when they don't need to.

__________________
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

Yep, we have this same problem. It's very hard for our kiddos to understand that they have to be polite and follow our rules when the other kids definitely don't. My DH & I always talk about how being around other people's kids make us like our own so much more.

I don't understand about the picky thing. Do you mean in what they like to eat? I have two out of my three that are very picky about what they eat. I did not "raise them" that way. They just are. As for putting up with it. What does that mean? Do you think they should be forced to eat what they hate? I would not like it if someone did that to me, so I never forced my kids to eat food that disliked. What is the point in that?

__________________
"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

I agree (mostly)

I have one kid that will eat anything put in front of him and another that is semi-picky. When I was a kid I was extremely picky and every meal was a battle. I would literally get sick right before dinner. My parents always thought I was faking it, but I think I got sick over the stress of being forced to eat. The worst was a boyfriend of my mom. The only thing he knew how to cook was spaghetti and he would fill an entire plate and make me sit there until I finished. I was about 4-6 yrs old and could never finish it. Every night I would have to sit there for hours until he finally go so fed up I get sent to bed. I still hate spaghetti to this day, my kids and dh love it though so we have it quite often -blech!

My kids never have to eat anything they don't like ( I do try to get them to try everything at least once) I won't make separate meals for them, they can grab a sandwich or a bowl of cereal if they don't like what we're having.
I do think there is a point where "picky" goes too far. I watched my nephews once and was told "they only eat chicken nuggets and pizza" ever? really? every meal? Yup! Even at school if it's not pizza day they took lunchable chicken nuggets. They didn't like water, milk or juice and only wanted to drink soda (my kids are only allowed a small cup or 1/2 a can a day, it's the only thing we limit in our house) There's no way in good conscience I could let my kids eat like that everyday.

Anyway back on topic, yeah sometime my friends kids annoy me, it's not usually a big deal though.

__________________
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

I have a couple of friends who I only get together with for "girls night". I don't like the way their kids play. They are rude, rough and hurt other kids and mom won't punish them. Let's just say we DO NOT talk about parenting during our time out together. As the kids have gotten older, we only get together once a year or so. It's really hard to hang out with people and their families when you can't stand the behavior of the kids

__________________
Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Our daughter used to date a guy who was vegan. It was sooo hard to find something to feed him! I was glad when she broke up with him. There was other reasons she dumped him too, not just cause we had nothing for him to eat but rice cakes.

__________________
·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·
«·´¨*·.¸¸. Jo ¸¸.·*¨`·»
«·´`·.(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸).·´`·»


Please leave feedback for me here.
http://www.mycoupons.com/boards/g-l/...-littlejo.html



gretchengirl@gmail.com

http://lifewithlittlejo.blogspot.com/

By picky, yes, I mean picky eaters. I know I'm going to get flamed but...my kids are not picky because it just never occurred to them, we eat many different styles/types of food and it was just never an issue. The picky kids I know are catered to- I don't know about your kids- but they get extra attention from it. I serve what I serve and my kids eat it. If they are at a friends house as an invited guest for a meal/snack they eat what they are served with a smile on their face and a please and thank you. Are they robots??..not at all, they have just been taught social skills, as a result they are invited to many things, because they are easy to be around.
Every one is different, lets not get off the point of the question...are their people you don't hang out with because their kids make you want to scream??

__________________
Love, J.

The answer is no. I deal with many types of kids every day at school and there are none I have ever been around that I can't understand in some way. As for the [icky thing....that would never be an issue for me, because you can't help what you don;t like and I think it is cruel to force any one to eat food they do not like. There us no point in doing so. It is just not a big deal and I do not think it has anything to do with social skills. It has to do with taste. I always taught my kids to be polite, but eating food they hate never factored into that. A polite no thank you was always acceptable.

__________________
"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

Interesting question, OP. I joke around that I don't like other people's kids but when I think about the children of my closest friends, I realize that they are all great kids. I guess my friends are my friends because we share a lot of the same values so it would make sense that I would like their kids, too.

Now outside my close circle of friends is a whole other story-- yes their kids do annoy me. I see whining, interrupting, back-talk, and lack of basic manners such as saying please, thank you and excuse me on a daily basis. Whining sends me over the edge. I bite my tongue a lot!

__________________
Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

Always told my kids I'm not a caterer and i dont run a resturant, you eat what's for dinner or you can do without, it's their choice. Not eating a meal isnt going to kill them, they'll be down for breakfast and ready to get on with the day.

__________________
Books just wanna be FREE! See what I mean at:
http://bookcrossing.com

My other favorites
www.paperbackswap.com
www.wheresgeorge.com
www.geocaching.com

Same here. I don't make foods I know my kids hate (I'm not that cruel LOL) but if they don't like and/or want to eat what I've made, they can do without or make themselves something else. My DS (9) made himself a sandwich and at some fruit at dinner last night because he decided he "didn't like the cheese on the pizza" anymore. This is the same pizza we have been eating once a week for a couple of years now so it's not like some weird alien thing he's never had. He's deciding he doesn't like a lot more things now (chicken nuggets, french toast,etc) and I tell him that he has to cope because I'm not changing the way I cook just because he has decided he doesn't like something. It's worked out okay so far *knock on wood*

Boy, we're really off topic but I wanted to put in my 2 cents. Back on topic (sort of), a picky eating kids wouldn't bother me as long as I wasn't expected to cook for them

__________________
Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

lol, I would not be cooking a bunch of meals, either! My daughter is very picky. I try and not cook what she hates, but there are things she hates that I love, so.......she has a sandwich, or soup and fruit, etc. when I cook those things. No biggie!

__________________
"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

My dd had a friend spend the night the other night, the child came over at 7:30pm and mentioned she had not had dinner yet...so I offered a PB&J, she said ok, later I found it, minus a bite, in the trash I asked her what happened, she shrugged.....I shrugged back. next morning we have Golden Grahams cereal or begals...she didn't like either one. when her dad came I told him, sorry, but I'm sending her home hungry" he had the blank stare...... I always fix kid friendly foods when we have kids over, eat it or not, that would be up to them, and if my child was so picky I guess I'd pack a meal she'd eat instead of expecting someone else to play the game. IMO.
Getting off track here....sorry

__________________
Love, J.

To the original OP, sadly yes, my sister's kids. Now they weren't picky eaters, but their behavior was so bad with whinning and temper tanterums (sp) they drove me up the wall. When my daughter tried to have a jumping up and down fit after a shopping trip with my sister that both her kids had done - mine was the youngest. I decided they were teaching her their bad behavior and there was no need to put either of us thru it. Sadly my sister is raising her grand daughter and her behavior is worse than her childrens was. Kinda off topic, but I think it is totally in appropriate to tell about the child lying IN FRONT OF THE CHILD and laugh about it. This was the sister I was always closest to and she lives close to me. I avoid spending time with her, when her kids or her grand kids are around.

My son has a friend that I don't really like. His parents are so nice, but he is just...well, nosy. Reads all the stuff on the fridge, looks in the cabinets/pantry, etc. And the worst thing is one night during a sleepover.....I woke up to find him in our bedroom. WTF?

cj/

__________________
I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

That's creepy CJ!

Oldest DS *had* a friend that just annoyed the heck out of me (and obviously DS too!). He would shovel in whatever he was eating out of a bowl, slurping along the way. It was SO disgusting! He's the same one that had to be the center of attention no matter what was going on or he be all ticked off, making everyone around him miserable. Thankfully, they are no longer friends!

I love the rest of the boys friends though!

My cousins kids are intolerable! Even my mom, who pretty much likes all kids, does NOT like cousins son, who is 9.
He's a total brat and his mom does NOTHING to correct him. He's loud, runs around the house, gets in everything, tries to jump on the furniture, always has to be the center of attention, can't entertain himself, etc. I finally told my parents that when they're at my parents house that they have to enforce the house rules. Make it plain that in Aunt&Uncles house there are rules you have to follow and if you don't you cannot come back. Period. And if cousin doesn't like it, too bad.

Funny thing is, when mom and pop watch him by himself he's good as gold because he knows they won't put up with any crapola and his mommy isn't there for him to run to if they try to correct him.

Cousins daughter is almost 2 and she's only bad because cousin makes no attempt to control where she goes or what she gets into. Baby doesn't know very much about how to behave because, well, she's a baby. But she does know to stay out of the bathroom and not to touch the entertainment center so she's not dumb by any means but she's heading down the same path as the oldest.

At least they're moving out of state in a month so contact with them will be very limited from now on.

__________________
Jesus SAVES by shopping smartly and using double coupons!

I agree - super creepy!!!

__________________
Kim

We just spent a weekend away, celebrating dd's 10th bday, where this couple was along too. 36 hours with their ill mannered kids and that is it, time to find new friends. What bugs me is the parents sit and watch this behavior, almost as if they think it's cute....
Being with other peoples kids really let's me know how great my kids are!!

__________________
Love, J.

Only two children have set my teeth on edge.
One, I wanted to like because well, his parents were pretty worthless (dad is/was a recovering alcoholic. Mom is/was recovering addict). But, he was intrusive, manipulative, liar, thief and liked to explore sexual topics (9 y/o at the time).

The other one--I know he has issues. He's always in trouble at school, is very sexually advanced for his age, and again he's a liar and manipulative.

All the rest I don't have a problem with.

__________________
Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I only recall having this problem with one friend & avoided spending a lot of time w/her when the annoying child was around.
and omg I would never plan a trip with them, OP I gotta ask why go away for the weekend with people whose kids all bug the crap out of you..they sound like people to avoid!

My Mom's rule was you eat what I make. It drove me nuts as a kid because she wouldn't even let me make a PB&J. However, she didn't make foods that most kids hate - like liver. If we didn't like the main course, we had to take one bite and then could eat just the side dishes. With four kids, she just wanted everyone to sit down and eat! I suspect that's why I like most foods now.

As for the OPs question: yes - most kids drive me nuts. Maybe that's because Mom didn't make me play with kids I didn't like when I was little

__________________
If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.

When DH's nephew was little, OMG, what a BRAT. I just have no other way to put it. He would take my then 2yo DS's toys from him (nephew was five at that time) and try to make DS cry by pinching him and stuff. Then, when we saw them one time a few years later....same crap. DS was 8 and nephew 11. We were having a huge 90th b'day party and nephew kept antagonizing DS and getting him to run around the room and do things he was not supposed to do, so we would get on to DS . Well, the final straw was when nephew picked up a crab hammer and tried to hit DS with it. I said very loudly to DH (who I felt should have handled the situation, since nephew is his sister's DS) "you had BETTER say something to &^%$ before I do!!!!" Well, that seemed to do the trick. He has since been sent to military school where it seems to have helped somewhat, as has just plain old aging/growing up.

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

It was a tag along situation. Our plans had been made and they called, all excited and said, "guess what, were going too"! I really like the mom and dad, but these kids, bad to say, but I can't stand the way they act and I'm someone that has a hard time keeping her opinions to herself, I'm the unsolicited advice giver...
I have a plaque on my wall that says "Lord, keep your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth" -for sure!!

__________________
Love, J.

I have a couple of friends that have kids that are BRATS! I usually try to spend time with them while their kids are in school, or arrange evenings out without kids.

__________________
Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

My DH is an extremely picky eater as are his brothers and sister. They are like this because their mom catered to them as much as possible. I have vowed that our kids will not be like that. I don't think anyone should be forced to eat things they really don't like. However, my 6 year old pretty much does not like any vegetables, which I think is unacceptable. He doesn't need to like them all, but he needs to pick at least two that he will eat in order to have a healthy diet.

My older DS didn't like veggies either, but has slowly started to find some that he will eat. They may not be his favorite, but he doesn't complain. He also doesn't like sauce on things, so if I make something like stir-fry, I will scoop him out some before I add the sauce.

I guess it somewhat depends on how the kids act. I don't have a problem if they are picky eaters but don't make a big deal about it -- just eat what they like from the meal or make their own without a fuss. If there is drama involoved, that is where I have a problem with it. If they are teenagers, they are old enough to know how to act and not be a 'baby' about something they don't like. It's not going to kill them to take a bite.

OP -- maybe you should suggested that your friends get together for a 'couples night' or something like that without the kids, or have the kids at one house and the adults at another sometimes.

Good idea! we are going camping over the long holiday weekend and DH and I said "don't mention this to..." I can't imagine these kids camping...the mom would proabley have to have Pizza Hut flown in,,,, then we could watch the kids WIPE the cheese and sauce (the only topping) off their slices, so gross to watch....
yep, it's true, they do that.

__________________
Love, J.

In my case, it is my best friend's DS who drives me nuts. He isn't disrespectful to his parents, but he is so over-indulged by them. This kid gets anything he wants. He has a million pairs of shoes, every electronic device/game that was ever made (does one kid really need a PS2, PS3, Wii, Nintendo DS, Gameboy AND a PSP??) while the parents both drive old clunkers so they'll have enough money to indulge his every whim. He won't spend the night away from home (not even with grandparents who live next door to them) because he is such a baby. He won't eat ANYTHING at our house which really wouldn't bug me if he was polite about it, but instead I get a "no, I HATE that!" response. I feel bad about feeling this way toward him cuz I love her, but have lost all respect. The final straw was at Christmas when (since he has everything already... there was nothing left to ask for) he wanted a handgun (yes, a REAL one and he's 10 yrs old), and of course, they got it for him.

__________________
The richest person is not the one who has the most,
but the one who needs the least.

Yikes! A gun....that is...crazy!!! I had a friend along time ago, whom her son would only eat the kind of eggs his mom made (scrambled) and other mommies boy stuff. I told her that she would have a lot of 'splaining to do to her future daughter in law if this boy ever got off the boob long enough to date.... People have to think about the habits they create and where do they end???
I used to have a home day care and a couple brought their 1 1/2 year old son to me, the kid had a really rough time being seperated....he could not settle down for a nap, the parents finally asked if I would mind "laying down on the floor with Alec and hold him close till he fell asleep" WTF?? come to find out, the mom BREAST FED this kid TO SLEEP every night and every nap!! Way to go,!! good job messing up your kid!! why would you do that if your going back to work some where along the line... bottom line, don't create habits that won't work in the real world.

__________________
Love, J.

JoyEllen, you crack me up!!

And ITA with everything you've said! My husband (a cop) thinks the aforementioned kid will either end up in juvie or live w/ mom & dad for the rest of his life.

__________________
The richest person is not the one who has the most,
but the one who needs the least.

Well, the breast feeding to sleep, you can control, but my daughter only eats her eggs scambled, and my son does not eat eggs at all. It is not a big deal and it is nothing I could control, unless I force fed them, which I would never do.

Gosh, I thought everyone had likes and dislikes. It is perfectly normal.

__________________
"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

but does your daughter only eat the eggs YOU scramble?
I think that's where the difference is.

My kids prefer my cooking (they are such good kids!), but will eat what other people cook.

Neither of my kids eat eggs--scrambled or otherwise! I have one kid who loves Milk--the other will only drink it if it's flavored. I have one kid who LOVES brocolli and asparagus--the other one loves corn and green beans.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is: When your child won't eat because their Mommy didn't cook it--then you have a problem! If it's simply a matter of the child doesn't like a particular food no matter who cooks it--it is just like/dislike thing.

__________________
Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Yes, this kid only ate his moms scrambled eggs, I asked her what made hers different-she laughed and said "nothing, it's just eggs and milk" (maybe she uses a magic spoon)

The same friend announced, proudly, last week that her son had tried gravy for the first time and he thinks he may like it...I guess he'll have to get back to her on that one. BTW, he is 16

__________________
Love, J.