Are you one of those lucky folks who can strike up a conversation with anyone at anytime? How do you do that? What do you talk about? Do you share information about yourself? Ask questions?

I'd like to get better at being friendly with strangers and small talk. Tell me how!

TIA,
cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Yes, I have the "gift of gab" so to speak, LOL.

It really depends on the social setting as to what we talk about. For instance, if at school, it is usually the kids and what is going on in class. If at a work function, again, it usually turns to the kids. How many do you have??? Where do they go to school, etc?? I usually have a little back ground on the person to begin with, so that helps.

With a total stranger?? Like someone in the doctor's office.... it really depends if they seem engagable(SP?) or not. The other day at the dentist's office we were talking about the old dentist that used to be there.

There is nothing I hate worse than being at a gathering and everyone sitting around looking at the walls.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I can talk to anyone anywhere!. My husband hates that. I could be walking thru walmart and stop and talk to little ones , older people , just anyone. He makes me go to do returns and ask questions when we are in a store. I think it depends on the kind of person you are. He doesnt talk alot and only to people he knows if he even does that. Also your social and work enviroment has much to do with it . I have to talk to myself most days in school and YES, I do answer myself too.


I can make people talk to me, If they are unapproachable (sp). I guess I just have my way of doing things..I talk about everything, gas prices, etc...... I'm really good at waiting in line to check out and I strike up conversations. My hubby just looks at me like I am crazy.

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

I'm just ok at it. I've been trying to get better over the last few years. If it is a total stranger, I usually just say something about the situation or something we are both looking at. If they respond, great. I used to get embarrassed if they didn't respond. I think that was the number one reason I was reluctant to speak up. Now, if they don't respond, I figure it's their problem. I mentally stick my tongue out at them and move on.

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.

Start with a smile. Follow with a compliment.
Really, it will make you seem very approachable.
I do have the gift of gab also. I think it's because I have the attention span the size of a gnat. So my mind riccochets around from subject to subject.
Oh look a chicken!
Just kidding.

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

Working with the public we have a five foot rule. If someone is within 5 feet of you you must speak to them and make eye contact. You say hello. This is to bring more businesss to your company and to make people comforatble to spend in your establishment. Shoplifters will usually not "do their thing" in your business if you have made this approach as they know that you have made eye contact with them and have their description.
As to what to say to strangers... cute kids, nice weather,nice tie cute dog/cat , compliments are the best thing to start a conversation. Keep up on the news, that helps. How do you like that car,purse or shoes is a good way. If you like sports you say "how about that game" if you know nothing about sports don't use that line because a lot of people know a lot about sports and will talk your heads off. lol
No one will get the boogie man after you if you don't have a conversation with them so do not be afraid to speak.

Your are great by the way at starting and adding to the conversations here. We are all strangers til you get to" know" us.lol

Yes, I agree. I usually compliment someone in line on their purse, shoes,shirt, etc. Sometimes you can make a person's whole day just by doing that, even if no "small talk" ensues

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Hmmm....I'm going to try the compliment thing. The compliments are already in my head (wow, those shoes are cute....I like your haircut...etc), I just don't say them for fear the person will think I'm some kinda weirdo.

Thanks!! Keep the ideas coming....

And cashchik, my brain is a little flighty as well....which actually keeps me from talking to people.....it's off to something else and often leaves the person I'm talking to behind in the dust...LOL

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I think the most important thing is to be "interested" in what the other person is saying. Even in small talk, if you look away and seem distracted, then the conversation ends. Knowing a little about a lot of subjects helps.
So first a compliment, then look interested, and then on to other subjects and ask questions. (not nosey questions, but "o that sounds interesting, was that fun?, difficult?, exciting?). Questions encourage the person to keep talking.

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Talk food. Just about everyone enjoys eating. I can talk food and cooking to anyone.

Reading minds. If you're thinking it, they probably are, too. "Wow - this elevator must be extra safe - slow and steady wins the race, right?"

I always notice that really welcome small talk in a crowd of strangers is usually comes from the person who says, "Wow - he sounds just the way I feel!" (when a baby starts crying or having a tantrum...)

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

That's just the opposite here. Hubby can talk to ANYONE. I'm shy so it takes me time to open up and talk to people.

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~~just open your eyes and see that life if beautiful~~

That's why he doesnt like to take me to the mall.lol

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

I make small talk with everyone. To get people talking ask them about themselves something you are truly interested in knowing and then really listen to what they are saying and comment on it. People love to talk about themselves.
Also maybe it sounds corny but the weather is always a good opener for starting a conversation with someone. A joke about the weather breaks the ice every time.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I agree with those who say smile. That is the best icebreaker. It shows you are approachable, and if the other person is inclined to "small talk" at all, that will usually signal them it's ok to speak to you. I love to small talk, but don't like "bothering" people, so I usually wait for nonverbal cues before I proceed.

An example is that one day I was carrying around a cold gallon of milk at the grocery store. When I got up to the checkout, the man in front of me looked back and saw that I was wincing from the cold milk. He cleared a space on the belt for me to put it down, then we had a conversation about milk handles and why they don't make handles that are insulated so you don't have to agonize while carrying it around the store. He left the store smiling and so did I. It was just a silly conversation, but it ended up making both our days better.

This is how I engage people as well. There is always something you can make a complimentary comment about. I also like to use humor whenever possible cause I can almost always make someone laugh.

And I make an extra effort to acknowledge an elderly person because I think they are/feel invisible sometimes

I am not great at making small talk. For some reason the elderly flock to me, I always have them strike up conversations with me. I know how to kill conversations. When someone asks what do I do (like job) and I say I'm a SAHM, people run away. Like I can't have an intelligent conversation just because I'm the at home parent.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

You're right - it is easy to dismiss the elderly, or to assume that they won't connect with you as easily as others. But I'm sure they're typically grateful to be acknowledged, like anyone else.

I'm going to make more of an effort to do the same thing!

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

I find that many elderly men wear a military hat, shirt, something acknowledging their service years. That is a great "small talk" starter. FIL and I were at the store one day and saw an elderly man in one of those electric wheelchair carts. He was wearing a ball cap that said WWII Veteran, I believe. FIL said to him, in passing, "hey, I like that ball cap!!!" He looked at FIL's shirt, which had NAVY written across the front, and said "Hey, I like that shirt!!! We're all brothers!" made both their days

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I am working at a little gift shop at the beach this summer. I am finding, that people just want to talk about themselves, and their families, their kids, their grandchildren, etc. If they are noticeably-on vacation, I ask where they are from. That just gets the floodgates rolling. Ask them about themselves, they will answer, and will reciprocate the conversation back to your family.

Working in a salon gives you the gift of gab! If you don't know what to say and feel an uncomfortable silence, you can complement them on an item they're wearing or their hairstyle/color, but only if you mean it. A complement is always a great ice breaker! They say thank you, and you go from there! "Where did you get your shoes?" "Which location?" "Oh, I've been there once!" "Do they ever have good sales?" Along those lines.

Just break the ice and you're in the door!

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Kristee
Kritter0114@aol.com

"Hold on, let me check....YES! I do have a coupon for that!"

Funny, I get the same reaction if I tell people I'm an aerospace engineer. At least if I say I'm an engineer, people will ask "what kind" before they give me that 50-mile stare that seems to say "this person is so smart there's absolutely no way I could have anything in common with her", which is just silly.

Me too....never ever say what I do (computer engineer)...easier just to say the company I work for (pretty good brand recognition) and leave it at that.

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I would be the one stalker that would come out!! I'm a space junkie and would love to talk all about your job. And for the other ladies I love to talk with the older folks - they have such interesting stories and their knowledge is so helpful and fun to listen to.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

Are you sure that's what they're thinking?!

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.