Do you homeschool or know people who do? What are your thoughts?

Do you think homeschooled kids have advantages or disadvantages? Do you think they're prepared for the big, bad world out there.....or that they are capable of working with and/or learning from a wide variety of people given the nature of their scholastic upbringing? Are they typically open or close minded?

I have an opinion....but would like to learn from others.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I'm sure you all know mine but since this is a topic.....
My son homeschooled his jr and sr year. He just graduated. He's off to one of the hardest liberal arts colleges in the country along with another homeschooling friend. We have been involved in the local program for the last two years. He has had a great time. He has done more socializeing than he did in public school. He never did any activities in public school. In home school he/we have attended parties, Prom, etc...The group has a lot of activities to keep kids socialized. They have a little girls group, little boys group, teen group, etc... They meet every First Friday for Mass and potlucks and picnics. They have sponsored barn dances, hayrack rides, dance classes, All Saints Party, etc.. Most of the kids seem to either take music lessons or are involved in choir. One of the girls in my sons grad class is an all star volleyball player for the local public school. One of them won some state debate awards. Lots of the older ones are dual enrolled in public school so they can be on sport teams, etc... My friends daughter won an essay contest for a free trip to the March For Life in DC. My friends two oldest girls have won singing awards. The three oldest also spent 3 weeks in Europe last year-the trip was almost free too! Most of the parents are mega involved in their kids education, etc... I can't speak for all of them but this one is awesome. And Prom is on Saturday! Can't wait. A group of the parents serve the kids at a candlelight dinner at a banquet hill. Then it's off to another hall for the dance. We are expecting 80 kids this year. Everyone dances with everyone. No dates or too risque dresses or music. I have helped at the last three and the kids have so much fun. I had more fun watching them then I did at my Proms in high school! All in all if you have a good homeschooling group you have the best of both worlds. Prom theme this year is 50's. Can't wait-should be a blast.

I do not homeschool and do not plan to. I know two kids who are home schooled and they are the weirdest kids we know. I can't say that they wouldn't be odd if they weren't home schooled but I don't think it helps at all. They are completely anti-social and have a hard time playing with other kids. To their parents, everything has to be a learning experience and /or educational. No time for fun My DH's cousin also homeschool's but it's more because she strict vegan and part of the religion Jews for Jesus. She doesn't want her kids to be exposed to anything that might tempt them. They live a very sheltered life. I'm not sure how bright they are because I've only seen them a couple times (funerals) even though they live in the next town over.

I think if you live in a community where you can be involved in groups of other homeschoolers, it can be an advantage because you can work at your own pace and probably work with a system that works for you rather than what works for the class. On the other hand, it can be a disadvantage if your homeschooling parent isn't too bright. Both mom's I know who do it (including the cousin) are not too bright themselves. How can you teach something you can't even start to understand (as they get into more complicated concepts and subjects). It can also be bad if you do not have a community that has a good homeschool program or if you are not participating in it. I know one boy who was homeschooled when I was a kid until high school. His mom didn't want to tackle high school subjects. Boy was he a fish out of water. He hated it. He didn't know how to "do" school if that makes sense. I guess all that would depend on the style of the homeschool parent.

I have thought about doing the online public schools. We have two or three in our state and kids can work at their own pace. They also get a free laptop if you do it. It seems like homeschool except you don't teach them.

All in all, I think you learn more "real life situations" in regular school versus home school. This is just my opinion.

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I do not have personal experience with it, however I do have my personal views and plain and simple not for me and never ever would I want it for my children. You can never duplicate all the social interactions and social events and school mate friendships from being homeschooled. Again my children all attended a very small school district and the benefits were all fantastic and wonderful and me and my dh and my children would not have had it any other way. Again our personal choice.... Peace. Catherine

I agree this is probably true in most cases.

This topic has come up in the past, and can get pretty heated. I'm treading with care...

I used to be way more opposed to homeschooling, but I hear about more and more situations such as the one kathytheshopper describes, where the student seems to be making more academic as well as social strides in the controlled homeschool environment, where there is a group of children for interacting /participating and parents/adults to network and/or share teaching responsibilities.

I don't believe that homeschooling for an extended period of time with one teacher/parent, and without the benefit of a larger network is generally optimal. While it is common to hear about incredible academic accomplishments in these situations, the kids usually lag in social development.

There is a lady in my neighborhood who pulled her only child out of his 2nd grade classroom, and decided he'd benefit more from being homeschooled. I thought it was tragic, as she is not a social person, and this poor only child (who had only a few friends before) now has little to no contact with any peers. The mother is not a teacher, which bothers me, but may not bother others.

Interestingly, when I was teaching 4th grade, our administrator was opposed to any teacher having the same child in their class for a 2nd year (so if I had moved to 5th grade, none of my previous 4th graders would be assigned to me). She felt that it was "disadvantageous" for any kid to be subject to any teacher's weak areas of teaching for two years.

So, CJ - where do you stand? I'm curious...

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Well Catherine sometimes you can have a great, quality homeschool program. My ds has tons more friends than he did in the public school system so I guess your sentence about "not duplicate all the social interactions and friendships" was reversed in our case. To each their own!

by and large, I don't think too many parents are equipped to teach certain subjects.
However, I think that there are good reasons that a parent could have for homeschooling.

Our neighbors choose to homeschool their children. Their reason is because mom owns her own craft type business and that business requires (if she wants to make money--per her report) her to travel extensively. She doesn't want the hassle of having to conform to a school schedule (her words--not mine). Her two children are just plain weird. Good kids, well-behaved kids, but they are weird (part of it could be from their controlling father, but that's another story).

My opinion is that any parent who is going to home-school should have to prove to the State Dept. of Education (or Office of Public Instruction) that they have the knowledge to teach children certain things. And the children should (if not already required), have to adhere to the same standardized testing that public school children are subject to.

*shrug* It's just my opinion.

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Most states have some type of rules for home schooling I think. Here you have to have plans approved by a certified teacher, etc... We didn't have to do that because he was over 16.

I have no desire to homeschool my boys but if a situation presented itself where I had no other choice, I guess I would.

Have any of you read or heard about Unschooling? We had some neighbors that practiced this with their 8 kids (6 natural and 2 foster) and this was the BIGGEST joke. All they did was run wild from 10AM-10PM in their underwear in the yard. Ridiculous.

I think some parents take on the task of homeschooling and do a wonderful job. I think other parents "homeschool" out of sheer laziness and lack of desire to make their children conform to any sort of schedule or routine.

I homeschooled my two boys. They're now 25. We used an online program that was very thorough and extensive. The homeschool experience for us was a great experience. We were very active in one of the homeschool associations in our area. This particular association had a sports program, music program, math program, debate teams, field trips, proms, dances. They were on the basketball team (they played in a district sports program that played private schools and other homeschool associations). We traveled to tournaments. My son helped coach the girls' softball team. We had a graduation thru the homeschool association, where they graduated with over 30 other students. Their graduating class was featured in the newspaper along with the other graduating classes from all the schools in the area.

Our homeschooling experience was not one of being isolated and alone. I think the homeschoolers who are the 'weird' and 'isolated' certainly give a bad image of homeschooled children (and their parents). My boys were very social. Both went to college and have good jobs.

In order to have a good homeschooling experience, a parent has to be alert, have good time management and knowledge. If you let the kids do their homeschooling on their own, it will not work. I remember sitting down with my boys as we went thru their lessons. If there was something I could not teach, our homeschool association offered classes taught by parents (usually former teachers) that knew the subject. They wrote term papers, took tests.. just like in school. We went to our local library.

Homeschooling is not for everyone. We did it simply because the high school in our county is the lowest ranking in the area. It has a terrible reputation. If parents have the money, they move their children to another school or the other county. The waiting list is very long.

My sons loved the homeschool experience. Some of their friends were homeschooled, plus they still had their friends from the public school and their friends at church. They definitely did not lack in socialization. They grew into very well-rounded young men. As far as being prepared for the 'big, bad world out there', yes, I would say they were probably more prepared for it than most of those stuck in a high school all day long, looking out the windows ........

In my opinion, it depends on why you do it. If it's because you only want your children exposed to your ideas, your religion, and your experiences, then your kids will be weirdos. If it's because you think you can do a better job than the local school system and you have the skills to do it and the ability to expose your kids to a lot of different situations, then it may be another story. I'd still worry about having the apron strings tied a little too tight, if it were my kids.

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I've known a couple teens that were homeschooled and they were odd. Bright enough but socially awkward in many ways. But then I think they were homeschooled so they could be thoroughly brainwashed in the ways of the parents religion.

I think if parents belong to an active homeschool group like the ones that others have described, especially the ones where other parents help teach other subjects, then the kids probably do just fine. But I can't help but wonder what type of adjustment they go thru when they get to college and have to learn in a standard lecture type setup. That has to be a big change from homeschooling, I shouldn't think there's a lot of lecture type teaching at home.

What I can't really understand is unless there is a real problem such as a child with special needs or a super crappy/dangerous school district, why on earth would a parent want to go to all the time/expense/etc. when they already pay taxes to have their child educated? Here in this area, the schools are more than adequate education wise and are not dangerous so why parents yank kids out to homeschool blows my mind.

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Wellllll, some parents don't want their children exposed to sex ed, etc... They may feel their home and home school environment is more along their moral values and what they want to instill in their children. Like I said, my son got sick and tired of the mess at his high school. And we live in a Big Ten college town which is supposed to have pretty top notch public education. You actually gain a lot of time with your kids and that's pretty special. My friends daughter just finished her first year at a very hard college and did fine. I know her first semester she got straight A's and she's never been in a classroom! I think if your child is well adjusted and well-grounded they will adjust to whatever situation they are put into.

The opinions and experiences described here validate what I generally think of homeschooling. I'm sure there are people for whom it works very well. I would never do it, for the same reasons I would never practice medicine on my kids -- I know I'm not qualified, don't have the training, and would probably really screw it up. I respect the training teachers get and I don't believe that just anyone is capable of doing the kind of excellent job most of them do.

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I have had friends who homeschooled. One still is, and her DS is in the 11th grade. The "schooling" goes all year, since they go at their own pace. So, if they need to pick up and go shopping, they do. Or, if her DS gets in a mood and doesn't want to do the work.....that throws the schedule off, too. She has been homeschooling since I believe 2nd grade? Maybe 1st. I don't know how smart her DS is. Her DS is involved in music and does many things with a homeschooling group, and has many n'hood friends, church friends, etc. It will be interesting to see what happens if/when he tries to get in college.

OTOH, I knew a woman who "home schooled". If you consider plopping your kid down with a work book, at the table, while you do your own thing, home schooling.

I have homeschooled our kids for a few months when we moved at the tail end of a school year. It was at a grade that was easy for me to do so, and I enjoyed it for the brief time that I did it. Could I do it long term??? I would prefer not to. I think public schools have so much more to offer than what they (my kids) could have gotten out of being home schooled. JMO.

If, for some reason, I had to homeschool, I would do it.

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I homeschooled my son at the end of the year during a move and we were in a school district that was not up to par. I do not feel qualified to teach my kid things that he will need to learn for college. I do not have the skills to teach physics or biology or the labs. In the early grades, I think it can help a kid who needs extra help but I think children need the socialization and skills they can get from school.

I have known families who homeschool because they feel like their child is getting things from school that does not go along with their religious or family beliefs. Unfortunately, the children from one of those homes for the most part, cannot read or write and (true story) were afraid of the electric doors at Wal Mart. In this particular case, the parents were happy to homeschool because the district admin. would not be able to count how many times the kids came to school without proper dress for the weather or proper lunch or teeth brushed or hair combed. It was a perfect way for a mother who is "lazy" to have an excuse to not get up for the bus etc....

This has been a sore subject with me for a long time because I feel school is so important.

I do know of one parent who homeschooled her son and he got into the Naval Academy. He struggled with the social aspect of the Academy but did graduate. She used a distance program and her husband was a college professor and I believe she was a educator in Australia. He scored over 1400 on his SATs at the time. It was a success story as far as his education was concerned but socially, I am not too sure.

I would be interested in what the hardest Liberal Arts school is in the nation, though, Kathy.

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I can see how homeschooling would work out at primary school. I have a hard time seeing how it can be highly successful at the high school level. And I would still worry, as jujubee stated, about the tightness of the apron strings at these ages when our job is to prepare them for the real world.

Our high school has a fairly elaborate science lab that supports the chemistry and biology curriculum. How does a home school cover these subjects? (think animal dissection, chemical beakers and bunsen burners, etc).

How does a homeschooling parent provide higher-level math and science (physics, calculus, computer science)? I'm sure there's a few out there who can teach these subject,s but I doubt it's many. Heck, even with my background/career, I do not think I could teach those courses. Do homeschooled children have the ability to take AP courses to earn college credit at the high school level?

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I agree with most of what's here, too.

I know someone who "homeschooled" her twins but it's like what usnamom said. They were sat in front of a computer and and basically played on Myspace & Facebook all day. And texted. They are way behind where they should be.

Most homeschooled kids I do know are very smart, but very socially awkward. We had a family move in near us in our old house. Our girls were so excited when they heard 2 girls had moved in that were about their age. It took 1 visit. My girls said they were so weird. They never hung out with them. Those poor girls tried several times, but my girls wanted nothing to do with them, they hung out with their "normal" friends from school.

I just wonder sometimes why it's so important for some parents to want their kids to be SO SMART at the expense of their social life? My girls are smart. They're not the smartest kids in the school, but they have respectable GPAs and work hard. But their friends and social groups are very important. Having arguments with other kids and working out situations may not be math or science but it's important to the learning process of growing up and learning how to get along with others. In most jobs you have to work with other people...for the rest of our life.

I also know there are a few exceptions with homeschooling where the kids are socialized, but for the most part, most of them are just weird.

JMO,
Lisa

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I seriously thought about it when I moved to SC and my son was in 2nd. grade. The curriculum was similar to what he had been doing in preschool. But, I don't know how else your kids are going to fit in the real world. I did make sure that he did his homework but also made sure that he read good lit. and about science and the natural world.

It was funny when we were at an open house and his teacher asked him what school he liked better. He said, "This one because it's so much easier."

I think one thing is often overlooked when people talk about kids needing 'socialized'.... or saying that they come out socially awkward when they have not been in a 'school setting.'

The flipside of that is that very often, kids in a group school setting (public or private) often pick up the *negative* social habits of their peers. They crave 'belonging' in ways that are really not on the radar of homeschooled kids I know... and often kids in public and private schools find themselves willing to sacrifice their morals, their integrity, and their friendships in order to 'fit in' with peers they'll never see again after the age of 18.

Homeschooled families often have *different* social tendencies than those being referred to here as 'real world', but I think that by and large the issue is that *their* real world is simply a different world than the one you are speaking of. If the homeschooled kid is guilty of not 'fitting in' with others... take someone who went to a rough school and developed some surly habits, and it could be said that that child would be socially awkward if placed in the 'real world' homeschoolers know.

I don't homeschool, have no desire to, and have no plans to. I understand that they perhaps don't seem to have 'social confidence' in a group of public school kids... but a public school kid probably wouldn't have much social confidence at a homeschool picnic, either.

If we're all about celebrating diversity, this is one diversion I can throw a party for. I'd much rather have a kid who feels a little uncomfortable in a cafeteria full of rowdy kids than have my kid *be* one of the rowdy kids.

Let me start off by saying that I had negative opinions about Homeschooling. Until... I had to pull DD from her school due to some awful circumstances. DD was on the verge of a nervous breakdown/suicidal because of the treatment from the teachers and the students. The school even had bomb threats from disgruntled students! I recently found out more and more students are being withdrawn from DD's school to be home schooled.

I think it really varies on every ones reasons why they home school. I agree that a parent cant just "stick a workbook in their hands and go off to do something"... It takes a big part on the parent to work on their childs education. DD is using the computer through a state school program which is awesome because she understands the lessons so much better and its a calm environment for her here at home. The online school also has social events which encourages and builds the childs self esteem.

We tried putting her in another public school but they were overfilled and couldn't take her. Homeschooling is great in the right situations. I do agree there should be some guidelines but each state does have its rules. Homeschooling is a right and in my state (OH) the requirement is to show a curriculum, where the materials are coming from and must have a 12th grade level/graduation completed.

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My SIL has decided to homeschool her daughter until they move again (military) because the superintendent of her Christian private school thinks there is nothing wrong with allowing a convicted sex offender to live with him.

And the public schools in the area are awful.

Is is ideal? No, but the circumstances make it the best option.

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While I have no children of my own, I'm a volunteer youth leader with my church and have interacted closely with kids of all ages who have had just about every type of schooling situation a person might think of.

From my experience, I think the experience a child has being homeschooled depends a lot on the home situation and on the child. Some kids thrive being home schooled. Some do much better in private schools. Some are better off in public schools. Once the students get to upper high school and into college, in many cases, it's almost impossible to determine just from observing them, which ones were/are home schooled and which ones went to "real" school. The easiest way to spot the difference is on an athletic field. Unless they've played softball or baseball or are big baseball fans, most kids who have never been in a gym class generally don't understand how to tag up after a fly ball, even after you explain it to them a couple of times. Kinda funny, until you've explained the concept for the fifth time that evening for the third week in a row playing kickball with the youth.

The one drawback I see to homeschooling kids is that they don't get "beat up" by the world until a later age. This can be great for the kids. I know one high school student is who is one of the most refreshing kids to be around. He's a huge geek and he makes not attempt to hide that or apologize for it or put on airs or in any way act like he's better than anyone else. He's a geek who hasn't been beaten down by the world yet and it's a whole lot of fun to hang out with him. However, for a lot of kids, they're going to have to deal with the junk of this world at some point. And it seems to be a lot harder for older kids, especially those who go away to college, to deal if they haven't been exposed to at least some of that while they were younger. Just one of the harsh realities of living in this world.

Just wanted to add a thought about the 'social ackwardness'. Some kids are homeschooled specifically because they have difficulty with other kids at school, so it is not necessarily a result of homeschooling, but rather a cause. If you have a child with Asperger's, for example, you can have a brilliant child whose life in school is hell due to the constant barrage of bullying and crap from other kids. While it is great to assume further work on these skills in the school setting will result in a more successful life, for some children, the agony of being in that setting day after day is beyond tolerance.
I would rather see a child homeschooled by parents who are able to do so in an organized, stimulating way than depressed and beaten down every day.

Thank you , You took the words right out of my mouth. I am a mom of 3 boys who are homeschooled .

Good for you. I bet you are enjoying your time with them. These are memories that will last forever!