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| Would you view a "friend" differently if you knew they had an abortion?
Just wondering....... I'm willing to bet we all know someone who has had an abortion. If nothing else, at least one person on this very board has stated that they have. Do you feel or think differently about this person???
__________________ Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing. |
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Yes. ![]() My best friend from high school. In her early 20's her wreckless, irresponsible, selfish lifestyle cost a child it's life. ![]() I look at the children she went on to have later and I still think about the one she chose to abort for her immature reasons. I was physically sick that day when she came home from the clinic. She had asked that I be at her apartment so she wasn't alone when "the jerk" dropped her off. She knew how angry and upset I was then but I loved her like a sister and wanted to be sure she didn't need to be taken to the hospital if something went wrong. We both cried buckets that day. Years later she would go on to marry and have two more children. She named her first born child after me. We've never spoken of that "worst day in her life" ever again. But yes, I do look at her differently. X
__________________ Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 |
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My college roommate wouldn't let anyone forget about her abortion. She would tell each new guy on their first dates. When I suggested that this was not a great ice-breaker, she said she 'wanted them to know now, so that she wouldn't waste time on them if they were going to have a problem with it.' We were still friends almost a decade later. When we'd go to a restaurant, or be out at the mall, she'd pick out a kid and say "My kid would have been that old by now." I haven't spoken to her in a really long time (other issues), but she's the only friend that I know for a fact that did have one. I hope she has been able to get help dealing with her issues. She never did when I suggested it, and I'll admit that I didn't even know much about what kind of 'help' was really available, anyway. Did it change how I looked at her? How could it not have - it changed everything about how SHE looked at herself. I don't know how common this is, but it's my only experience.
__________________ "The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell |
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No, I think my friends would still be the same people I loved before I found out. I might look at them differently if I found they had done it more than once though. I looked at Stevie Nicks differently when I found out she had FOUR abortions. |
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Well I did have one and I believe I discussed the whole issue with you allinaugust or Hambirg its been awhile. In short my son Tommy was born with several heart defects so were my 3 other nephews, all the girls were fine and healthy. Into my first trimester they determined my unborn child a boy had much severe heart defects and he would not live . He would have been my 4th child. So to answer you I would never ever ever in a million years judge...Peace. Catherine
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I think it would depend on the situation, honestly. I can't imagine anyone that I would be friends with would be flippant about having an abortion. I don't tend to gravitate towards the type of person that would just do this sort of thing on a whim or without any regard at all. I'm sure it's not an easy decision wether done for health reasons or "convenience" reasons. I'd much rather hear of someone having an abortion, than someone giving birth and then 2 years later murdering their child. Why prolong the suffering???
__________________ Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing. |
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No. I have a few friends that have had abortions and I don't judge them any differently. I may not agree with it, but they know I'm there for them no matter what and I still love them.
__________________ ~~just open your eyes and see that life if beautiful~~ |
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Since i strongly disaprove of abortions, I would definitely look at someone differently. I would probably still love them if I did in the first place. However, I would not judge them as that is not up to me.
__________________ Square dancing is friendship set to music! |
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I guess I'm the odd one here. I can't think of any friend who has had an abortion. I used to strongly disagree with abortions...now after years of life, I can see some instances where it might be justified. I would never judge someone on their past mistakes/experiences. I'm not going to throw the first stone.
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People are not going around announcing that "HEY I HAD AN ABORTION!" I think that there are probably many people that have had one that you would not in a million years suspect. I know several people that have had them that I know for sure and I'm quite sure that their friends/family do not have a clue and would probably freak if they knew! I mean why would you tell someone? What I don't understand in all the people that I know of that got themselves PG and had to have an abortion...why the heck they were NOT using birthcontrol? That's what I can't understand? How hard is it to go get on the pill? One person I knew was a young teenager but still she knew about birthcontrol and could have gotten on it! The others were GROWN WOMEN that should have known better! |
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Yes and no. If I had a friend who used abortion as a revolving-door for a form of birth control, then yes, I would view them differently. I don't think I could ever respect anyone who, because of laziness, self-centeredness, or whatever decided to have unprotected sex and numerous abortions. But, as fate would have it, I was recently in the situation where a very good friend found herself making the decision to have an abortion. I know it was the hardest, heart wrenching decision she ever made. Does it change how I view her...not at all. I didn't agree with her decision, but she felt her back was against the wall and had no choice. I love and respect her a much as always. |
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No way, never. When I was in college, I lived with 3 other girls. That year there were 3 unplanned pregnancies in the house......I was the only one who had the baby. We all made the best choice for us at that time and we are all still friends.....20+ years later!!!
__________________ "It's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity." |
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I have a YES and No answer to this question. Yes to my soon to be EX SIL who had an abortion because she was reckless and irresponsible to go out and get pregnant. She is 32 years old and going to nursing school, cheated on my brother going through a divorce but living with her new BF. I have little respect for her now. On the flip side my then 19 year old niece found out she was pregnant at the same time she was diagnosed with cancer. Her Dr absolutely recommended she get the abortion. She didn't want it but as a family all of our opinions were weighed and she had the abortion. Now 21 she has a healthy 3 mnth old daughter. For medical reasons I have no problem with it but as birth control NO NO NO. Put the baby up for adoption if you don't want it or better yet BIRTH CONTROL!!!!
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I would never view a friend differently for making that choice. I've had one. I've discussed at great length with a friend about it that was considering it. She was a woman that I thought would never in a million years would even conceder it an option. I think we would all be greatly surprised if we found out everyone in our lives that have made that choice. I think for the majority of the woman that have had an abortion, it was not an easy choice made lightly.
__________________ You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one |
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I found that statement very telling. I think it speaks of the way our society views an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy. You know it takes a man and a woman to create a child, yet you say "got themselves pg", as if it is all on the woman. When do we put some responsibility on the man? As for the birth contfol pill issue, I think it is far more complicated than you are showing. You have to go to a doctor to get a Rx, first off. There are many right now who don't even have health insurance. Now, assuming you go to the doctor, then you have to pay for the pills. Not everyone can take BC Pills. They do have serious side effects. Not taking them also has a serious side effect. It's easy for someone to say "why weren't you on the pill????" I wish Birth Control were free to everyone and anyone who wants it. And, frankly, even some who don't want it. I think sterilization should be free, too. I'd be willing to chip in for that. I'd rather focus my energy on getting it fixed. And, while we're talking about birth control, I wish people would get their animals fixed. And if you don't even have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of, don't even HAVE animals!!!!
__________________ Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing. |
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| YES, and that is why abortion is now, and should be forever, legal.
__________________ Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing. |
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Because I am prolife I would have to agree with Rape as well, that along with the the life of the mom in danger and the life healthwise of the unborn child. Other then those reasons I truly wish more would reconsider and carry baby to full terms and use adoption as a means because again sadly there are so many loving couples who yearn for just one baby to come into their lives... Peace. Catherine
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The people who ended up at Tiller's had problems like yours or worse. I don't think that anyone seeks a late term abortion unless a huge problem is involved with either the fetus or the mother. |
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| That about sums it up for me. Unplanned pregnancies happen, and I believe abortion should be legal, but the idea of repeatedly terminating pregnancies bothers me.
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Absolutely Not!
__________________ dsh06@comcast.net To handle yourself, use your head...To handle others, use your heart... |
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