I had two hs graduation gifts to decide this year. I've posted before that I can give gifts (for any occasion) much cheaper for me and with much more value for the recipient. Also, that I typically do this rather than cash or gift cards because I like to do it that way.

The first cashed her check May 18. No thank you. (yet)

The second received his gift (nice planner, different colored pens, highlighters, post it notes, pad, etc organizational items) May 28. Today I got a wonderful, sincere thank you. Part of it was how this gift was the best because it was thoughtful and loving. There were a few other nice comments he remembered from over the years.

I am back to giving gifts that I choose and put together.

dl

Well, we gave two monetary gifts this year and just today received a thank you note. It's been such a crazy day today, your post actually reminded me to open the envelope from one of the people. I was pleasantly surprised to see a Thank you note from this person, a relative of DH.

We've not given graduation gifts before so were ill prepared this year. I do like your idea of sending an actual "gift". Hopefully I can stock up on some things over the year before the next graduation season rolls around.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I've given 3 graduation gifts and a shower gift all within the last month and have yet to receive a thank you from any of them.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

Our party was two weeks ago and he hasn't gotten them out yet. He didn't like the cards I had so I got him some Thank You Class of 2009 ones at Target on clearance yesterday!

I always made my kids write thank you notes right away. I told them, if the person was thoughtful enough to give you a gift, you can be thoughtful enough to write out a thank you. Sometimes it was done under protest (they would rather have procrastinated) but I insisted. I think it's the right thing to do. I went to a shower & wedding last summer and the couple never sent out thank yous to anyone. It blows my mind!!

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*******If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
But if life gives you limes....make margaritas!!!*******

OMG, this was on my mind......we traveled 4 hours last weekend to go to 2 grad parties, one was my niece's. Gave a check to both, a bit more to my nieces......the check we gave my niece cleared my bank account on MONDAY!! The ink was barely dry and it was cashed!!! I hope she writes a nice TY!!!

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"It's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity."

[quote=Sandy917;3263397 I went to a shower & wedding last summer and the couple never sent out thank yous to anyone. It blows my mind!![/QUOTE]

Were we at the same wedding and shower???? Mine was for a relative and still nothing but the funny thing is everytime we see these people they keep asking if we had a great time at their wedding

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

What a great graduation gift!

I think that's why it irritates me so much. It's the norm around where we live. All the kids send thank yous - even when they are very small and mom has to write them and the kids just color in them. My girls have always been required to send them. I don't even tell them anymore, I just buy the cards and they know what to do.

Others, not so much....I think it's just inconsiderate.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

And yet these are the same people who know to send the invites! If you can buy the invitiations and send them, you can thank the gift givers........

dl

DL, you know what you should do? You should just demand the TY card in advance, then you can spend your energy on more important matters.

Rebecca

? HUH ?

dl

HMMM. I hate comments like this. I am sure the DL knows how much energy she has and what she wants to use it on

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

It annoys me to no end to take the time to pick out a nice gift to someone and to have to ask a month or so later "I just wanted to make sure you received the gift, card, check,. So far in my almost fifty years of life there has NEVER been a situation when my gift, card, check was not received, However there have been countless times when I wondered for a while before I asked.

To me it is downright RUDE to not acknowledge a gift. I also think it's rude to not acknowledge something nice someone has done for you. If someone sends me coupons. or anything I will call and thank them.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Yes, I agree, and it is stuff like this that has seriously cut down my "gift giving" list. We stopped sending b'days gifts to many of the nieces and nephews since they were clearly too busy to acknowledge even receiving it, how ever could they find the time to enjoy it?? So, I saved them some time and stopped sending anything.

I hope this is not a sign of how the society is turning.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

So....my money's on this: You don't like sending out Thank You's, and you don't want anyone making you feel guilty about it...

I consider thanking others an "important matter," and it seems like the majority of people on here are in agreement...

If a person knows in advance that they don't plan on being gracious enough to call or write a 'Thank You,' then they should write "NO GIFTS PLEASE" on any invites/announcements...JMHO...

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

I've thought about stopping it too. I have one set of great nephews who never ever acknowledge the money I send in a card for their birthday. I have another niece and nephew who always call me to thank me.

What I'm wondering, though, when the kids are little (say 7 and 8), is it their fault or their parents' fault for not acknowledging a gift? This then leads to a teen or graduate not acknowledging a gift because they haven't been taught. How do you know when to stop giving gifts when you know they'e not going to be acknowledged. I send cash so I would at least like to know that they've received the money.

I stopped sending gifts to 2 nieces after many years of no acknowledgement.

I had a gift lost in the mail once. I sent a big package for a baby shower. About a year later, I made a comment to my sister about one of the books in the package. She had no idea what I was talking about. Stupid me...I had made the outside of the box really cute, clearing indicating it was a baby gift. Someone apparently needed it.

Also, I have a friend who never sends thank you notes...and did not teach her children to do so. Her attitude is that gifts are willingly given and willingly received. End of story.

That was my thought as well....hit a nerve....

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

That is something I struggled with, so we decided to cut it off at 18 or after they graduate HS. We did receive a graduation announcement for one of DH's nephews, mentioned above. His thank you note started out....."Hey Guys......" I just think a little more respect should be shown when addressing people older than you, and certainly an aunt and uncle. But, maybe that's jusst me.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

It was the fact that it has not even been a month yet and DL is already wondering where the thank you card is. Seems like a waste of energy to me.

Rebecca

And also a fact you ignore that the other grad - whose graduation was later - already has acknowledged.

Anyone who can get a check cashed FAST can also send a thank you note. Remember, they knew to send the invitation in a timely manner !

You count the days, but I still haven't received a thank you.

You have your own attitude about this. I have mine, which is admittedly in tradition, respect, and appreciation. Those are attributes I find much more appealing than not taking a few minutes to thank someone.

dl

Again, why do you worry about how much "energy" Dl has and what she uses it on ?

__________________
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

You're right! I have salsa to make and sangria to drink. Thanks for the reminder.

Rebecca

Exactly....expend YOUR energy as you wish.

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

You sound a little upset that she cashed the check so quickly? I think that is considerate, allows you to note it as cleared and makes it easier to balance your checkbook.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

So is saying "Thank you" not enough? I don't expect a thank you card from someone when I went to their birthday, graduation, wedding, etc, gave them their gift and they told me "thank you" to my face. I can understand if the gift was mailed and you did not see them, but only so you know it was received. Just how many times do you need to be acknowledged?

As for how quickly the check was cashed. You went on the weekend, the check went through Monday, and you were complaining of no thank you card by Thursday! It took me weeks to send all my thank you cards. With finals, the honor's night, work, chores, and finalizing everything to start summer school for college in two weeks, sending out Thank you's within 5 business days was not top on my list of things I had to complete when I graduated oh so many years ago.

As for everyone who has stopped sending presents/money because they aren't acknowledged, I'm sure the recipents don't miss it. When my aunt sends me a birthday card I don't open it hoping to find cash. I'm just happy she sent a card.

If I am thanked in person, that is fine. The t'you I received was for a check we mailed, so obviously we were not there when it was opened, so did not recieve a face-to-face t'you.

I don't care if they miss it or not, actually. I think it's bad manners not to acknowledge someone sending you something, even if it's a letter some time during the year with a "I really enjoy the cards you send" or "thanks for thinking of me, I may not always say it, but, I really appreciate you taking the time......".

Don't you get a sense of gratification when you know you or your acts are appreciated? I think that's all people are looking for. Everyone likes to be appreciated.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

If I am thanked in person, I always tell them to save their money and dont send me a thank you card. the cost of the cards and the stamps to mail them has gone up so much recently, I see no need in them. Its just something that I throw away usually. I do send them myself as most folks expect them but I dont expect them myself.

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Even if I am thanked in person, I expect a 'Thank You' note. Conversely, if I thank someone in person, I will follow up with a sincere thank you afterward.

Of COURSE a person thanks you in person - who would actually take a gift and say nothing? I think a verbal 'Thank You' if the giver and recipient are both present is a given. It's akin to someone saying "God bless you" if another person sneezes. Hardly an act of graciousness. More like a reflex...

Send the note, make the call, or write an email. It's always the best way. The gift-giver deserves this.

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

Are you saying that you would accept email as a Thank You note? Or are most talking about a written Thank You note that arrives in the snail mail?

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

To me, I think ANY followup expression of Thank You after-the-fact would suffice...one where the person made an effort to state that they were happy to receive the item, and that it was thoughtful...

To me, that includes email, phone, smoke signals, anything...

I just feel that the ol' THANKS at the time it was received (when in person) is about as meaningful as the THANKS one gets when a person says, "Please pass the salt." It's just a given.

Do you feel differently?

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

I'm not saying I disagree. I do think that some people expect the written thank you (take my mom, for instance! )

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Why are you giving your mom away ?

I guess I'm kind of mixed about thank you cards. I don't really care one way or the other if the friends from the b'day parties the kids all have (school friends, etc.) send thank you cards. They go to a ton of those and the verbal 'thanks' to the kids at the parties are enough. My kids do send thank you cards for the gifts they receive but they've only had one or two parties each like that. I'm sure somewhere down the line though we've been guilty of either misplacing a thank you (young kids) or someone being left off. It happens at that age when kids are doing a ton of thank you cards. I always double check them though. I have one child that takes forever to do thank you cards (just the writing takes her forever) so I understand why it takes some time to receive them I guess. I do wish my neices/nephews would send them--sometimes just to be sure they got the gift, kwim? (For years I mailed to Alaska and another state and never once heard a 'got it' or 'thanks' from the kids or parents--so I wised up after awhile of doing that and just quit sending anything--they never sent to my kids anyway but that's another thread, lol). Better yet, I just wish when I next see the neices/nephews they would at least acknowledge the gifts (usually cash/check mailed).

I do expect a thank you card from weddings, baby showers, & graduation gifts though. I think it's pretty tacky if you don't sent those out since generally you are 'considered' an adult while these life happenings are going on. I don't sit around and worry about it or anything though. More of it crosses my mind and then an eye roll, lol. Way too busy. The thought is sometimes in the back of my head that maybe it got lost in the mail or something. Who knows.

Thats a good point.....I just thought it strange that we barely got home Sunday night and she was off to the bank on Monday. BF thought I was weird too.....but that happens a lot these days. He said no big deal either.

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"It's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity."