Just wondering how everyone else handles this.

We are having my daughters 6th birthday party next weekend and I still have not heard from 5 of the 12 kids that were invited. The rsvp deadline was today, If I dont hear within the next couple of days, should I call them or let it go? What does everyone else do. This actually happens every time we have something, there are always at least a couple who never even respond. I have always just let it go and not followed up. I am not perfect, but this is a pet peeve of mine.

love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks

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Jill
jatalamo@aol.com
Mom to Joey (8) and Gianna (6)

I have never followed up either. Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to do it. My children are 22, 13, and 12 so I have had many birthday parties with a large amount of people that don't seem to know what RSVP means. I have found that MOST of the time if they don't call they are not coming. That is not always the case so I usually make enough party bags for all the kids that I know are coming and the ones I didn't hear from. Now that my youngest two are older they just have a couple kids over to spend the night for their birthdays. It is much easier.

If guess it depends if you need a head count. I think the only time I really followed up with phone calls was for our daughters wedding. We had to pay per person for the dinner, so I needed a rough idea of the amount attending. Even with the calling I did, we still had about 16 no shows. I understand people do have emergencies, but its doubtful that 16 of them did. Its really too bad, because we still had to pay for those who did not attend after telling us they would be present.

For the kids' birthday parties, I usually gave the follow-up task to them. I asked them to double-check at school (although that might not work for you at this time of year) or play. I didn't have the nerve to call....plus I'm not a big phone person anyways.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

If it's someone I really want to come, yes. But if it's someone I invited because I felt obligated, nope.

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Mary

I do not follow up unless I know the parent of the kid invited. I try to have my kids follow up in school (ie: are you coming to my party because my mom hasn't gotten a phone call from your mom or dad) but 9 times out of 10, the kids says "Yes" and no phone call and no kid at party. It's a huge pet peeve of mine as well. People are just rude.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I do the followup call. To me, I really need to know whether so-and-so is/isn't coming. I don't want my kids to keep thinking "Susie might still be coming, so let's wait a little longer before we start..."

If the followup call finds the person IS coming, but misplaced the invite, etc., they're usually apologetic and nice. When the person has not responded, and they don't answer their phone, I leave a message in a nice tone of voice saying something like, "Since we haven't heard from you, we are assuming Susie won't be joining us for Beck's party. Please call us as soon as possible if there's been any confusion. Thanks." What stinks is when the person just chooses to not followup with an answer. When it's deliberate, that's lame.

However, I've accidentally been one of the non-responders, and have been grateful that it was cleared up when they called. In our case, we had meant to respond, but misplaced the card, and didn't realized that we let the respond date go by. I always think it's worth calling.

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

We often do not have a phone number to call. Our school directory does not always have a phone number and if it does, it's usually inaccurate as people change numbers mid year or switch to cell, etc. I've found that out when trying to arrange for kids to come over and play. So following up via phone isn't always an option (even if I wanted to).

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

We do need a head count. Her party is at Justice, which is very expensive, thats why I limited her to 12 to begin with. I am just going to follow up with one person who I know is very busy, the others I wont bother with. It just makes my daughter feel bad because she asks everyday if so and so is coming...

Thanks for all the input.

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Jill
jatalamo@aol.com
Mom to Joey (8) and Gianna (6)

This used to drive me crazy when my kids were younger! Where have manners gone? I would say follow up with the parents rather than trying to guess at a number.

Every time these threads appear, I just shake my head in wonder. From kids parties all the way up to weddings, you are inviting people that you feel some relationship to....and they obviously do not feel the same way. How difficult is it to write or call or send the card back "We can't make it". The cost per person of these parties is pretty high and nobody can afford to waste money on an empty seat.

Just sad.

I did like the idea of calling and stating that you are not expecting them since they did not call...takes the host off the hook of paying for that empty seat...and if the person really want to come, then she will have to make the call to confirm

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

That's me, too.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I do not call, unless it's a close friend. But, I always make sure to bring extra goody bags. These usually end up going out to younger siblings, but I would hate for an invited guest not to receive one because their parent did not respond. I have actually responded twice to some parties via phone (because I couldn't remember if I had RSVP'd or not.) But then again, I have also found invitations, two weeks after the date, buried in my son's backpack. I guess it goes both ways.